A Blur Man's Diary

Wow....

2009-07-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

Holy shit... It's been soooooooooo long since I came up here to drop a line!

I say blame it all on Facebook!

Facebook is just too convenient! hehe...

Anyway, I'm in Kuching, Sarawak, now. Yes! I'm in Malaysia! My annual return to Malaysia during the summer!

This time I'm sooooo much more freer than last year. I'm really glad that I learned to say "no" to some stuff, otherwise I'd be working myself dead again while I should be home accompanying my folks.

I went for a couple of movies these days. I found out that Mr. Thum that does the Chinese subtitles is really not doing a bad job at all --- other than a few occasional wrong words. But most of the time he did a beautiful job in making the Chinese translation comes alive! Good work Mr Thum! I shall check u out again next year!

張國榮vs歐陽鋒

2008-10-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

我向來都不算是張國榮的fan. 他的歌聲, 老實說, 並不是我喜歡的那種類型, 他演的電影, 我也少看.

可是他有一個令我念念不忘的角色 --- 歐陽鋒. 那種深刻的印象甚至比<<霸王別姬>>裡面的程蝶衣更震撼.

電影開場他跟顧客"推銷"的那段就非常有帶入感, 那種眼神就很有"西毒歐陽鋒"的陰險奸詐, 讓你對這個人有點厭惡. 雖然就只透出那麼一點, 但在在表現出恰到好處的演技, 使角色非常有說服力. 甚至讓你深刻感覺到歐陽鋒未來的命運和性格, 在這屬於前傳的故事裡絕對有跡可循.

喜歡他在這部電影裡面的表現, 就因為他那種淡淡然的臉部表情, 更彰顯了那種自然流露的邪氣. 如果誇大來演的話, 相信效果就會很糟.

題外話: 我昨晚在電影院看的這個<<東邪西毒>>是最新的"終極版", 王家衛在電影裡面加了一些電腦影像, 重新錄了聲效, 把林青霞的原音帶回來, 更弄了個馬友友進來在原聲配樂之上添加了一些獨奏與即興片段(畫蛇添足). 裡面做的一些添加效果相當好, 至於馬友友的部分, 就免談, 實在不明白到底弄那個來幹嘛.

Germany trip

2008-10-08T03:49:00.000-07:00

So, I'm back from Germany!

This 9-day trip was fun with the Sirius Quartet, it was an intense schedule. But don't get me wrong --- it was not a tour, we stationed in the Ochsenhausen Monastery and never left the place.

I flew in to Stuttgart from Amsterdam with our violist and founder, Ron. The flight was crazy because when we got into Stuttgart from New York, we only had around 20 minutes to run over to next gate for departure. And in between that, we had a big airport to deal with, a long line at the customs, and a security checkpoint.

When we finally got to Stuttgart, of course, you can imagine, our luggage was not there. We made it, but our luggage did not.

It was cool though, the Stuttgart Airport apologised to us (damn, when have you seen that in New York or KL?!) and gave us each a pack of toiletry for the night's use. They promised to deliver us our luggage bags to where we stayed, Ochsenhausen, which is a village in the middle of nowhere, basically. When I opened the pack in my room, I found a white t-shirt, a pair of socks (the kind which you can only use once), toothbrush and toothpaste, shaver and shaving cream. Gregor, our 2nd violinist, and Mike, our cellist, came to pick us up and drove to Ochsenhausen, which is a very quiet and tiny place, probably 30 KM outside from Biberach.

The second day was an intense rehearsal day with the student string orchestra with the first batch of improvisation students in the Landesacademie, which we didn't teach. The Landesacademie is an academy that runs different workshops the whole year, there are educational workshops, music workshops, art workshops and many many more. The monastery is basically turned into this academy, except their main church building, which is built baroque cum gothic style, during those respective periods. The interior was gorgeously painted with biblical stories on the high ceilings, sculptures and a beautiful organ. Too bad I didn't get to take pictures of these.

We finished our rehearsals at night, around 8.30pm, totally exhausted. But of course, the next thing I knew was.... BEER TIME! How can you not have beer in Germany? Each bottle of beer you buy from the machine costs 1.50 Euros. Among the string orchestra, I found my friend from Mancini, Katarzyna. She was serving as faculty in the workshop, we're so happy to see each other again. It was so random, you get to meet an old friend in a place you least expected.

The third day was our recording day (!!). Yes, already. One day of rehearsal, and then recording. It was very intense, of course. We started off recording Gregor's Cuban Impressions. That was almost a concerto for string quartet and orchestra, beautifully written, so complicated rhythmically, in the first movement. We got our ass kicked REALLY HARD to get the rhythm right. But hell, we got it right finally.

We continued our recording on the fourth day, which we finished up Cuban Impressions and went on to record Gregor's cello concerto written for Mike, with materials from Mike's own compositions. That was a tour-De-force for Mike and he played his ass off, it was so perfectly done on his part. Good job dude!

That night, we started our own album's recording. We did one movement and called it a night. We wrapped up on the next day by finishing the entire piece of Gregor's String Quartet No.3 a.k.a. New York Suite. The thing that we least expected was that we spent so much time on the second movement, 125th Street. It almost drove us crazy because we usually treated it like a jam piece without caring much, but our engineer, Johannes, pointed out so many things that we never took note of. Good on us for having such a great recording engineer --- in fact, the greatest in Germany! He's the engineer of Keith Jarrett's trio albums and many many other ECM and European recordings. This guy would read the full score while we record and would give us so many great musical suggestions which are 99% of the time accurate. You will spend half as much the time with him as you spent with other engineers. He is that great.

The string orchestra was gone since the wrapping of Mike's concerto. But the new batch of students came in the day we finished our quartet piece (we decided to do the rest of the album in NY). We met up and gave the students a brief orientation, playing 2 movements from Gregor's piece and Mike taught them a fiddle tune called "Shove The Pig's Foot Further into the Fire". Them kids (and adults) loved it and could never stop playing the tune since.

The rest of the days were all individual and group classes. On Day 7 and early Day 8, we did 2 short and messy rehearsals of the concerti with Mike and Gregor. I guess the students weren't confident enough with all the crazy cross rhythms and stuff, plus, further confused by the conductor. We had a nice concert in the afternoon of Day 8 though, playing our quartet pieces --- which included a new tune I wrote in Germany, This Could Be A Ballad. Gregor's 2 movements from his concerto was pretty messy, orchestral speaking, but Mike's concerto was great on both sides.

Sirius had a nice German dinner in the town area (that was the first time I've seen the town, honest), and had a long talk about future plans. We all agreed that this is a very exciting line-up and we need to do something to push our name to a wider popularity. Let's hope it will happen.

We woke up the next day at 6.30am, all looking like zombies, because we needed to check out at 7am. Gregor drove all of us to the airport. Poor Mike, he didn't even need to get to the airport so early, for his flight was around 2.30pm. But I heard he had a great time dining in the city of Stuttgart, good for him! As for us 3, we had our toughest time waiting for both planes in Stuttgart and Amsterdam. The Stuttfart-Amsterdam plane was delayed for an hour or something, which we thought was not so cool. But little did we know that the Amsterdam plane also had mechanical problems they had to change a plane that was flying in from Shanghai! And that delayed our Stuttgart-New York flight for 5 hours. Luckily KLM issued us vouchers to have lunch, call home, and 50 Euros worth of discount for our next KLM flight.

When I finally landed in New York, it was 7.40pm. Got home by subway around 9pm, had my dinner at 11pm. And my housemates went to play pool and ping pong till 1.22am. I didn't know how that can happen to me, for I should've been crashing. But I guess that's because I had a great time there, not travelling like mad, though busy, no phone calls, limited internet access...

Yeah, I can use another 9 days in Ochsenhausen... :)

Bravo Mr Thum!

2008-08-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

I went to see "21" last night, and I was waiting for another good laugh of Shirley Pang's Chinese subtitles.

Surprisingly, the shit was smooth!

The Chinese was really not bad at all!

What was going on with that bitch? She improved?

No.

It was another guy who did that subtitles, and he was smart enough not to put in his real name, he only stated himself as "Mr Thum".

Very good, Mr Thum! You're good! Keep it up!

People, you should simply go to see 21 solely for that one reason!

I really wish to see more of Mr. Thum's work.

And fuck you, Shirley Pang, time to go home and sleep.

.45

2008-08-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

I have a .45 pressed on my head, but it wouldn't go off. I'd rather it does.

Wouldn't it feel sooo good if I'm shot dead right now?

Been 2 months, what do I get in KL? Vacation? Officially yes, practically no.

Just give me a fucking break, that's all I ask for. I don't need much, just two weeks will do me so much good.

Otherwise, please pull the fucking trigger.

Who is Shirley Pang?

2008-07-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

OK, 回到最根本的问题上：到底谁是Shirley Pang?

我知道很多人注意到我最近在为这件事情抓狂，甚至有人以为她是个我想要追的人。

错！

这个人我先杀之而后快！！

到底Shirley Pang是谁？我问了好多人这个问题，都问不出个所以然来。

还有一个问题，她到底懂不懂中文？这也是另外一个谜。

前两年还是Sharon Pang, 今年突然间变成了Shirley Pang, 到底是怕被人打而换名字，还是做不下去了把自己妹妹抓出来顶差？如果是怕人打的话，为什么不连Pang也换掉？

不过，Sharon也好，Shirley也罢，反正风格非常一致，是谁是哪个名字都没关系。

超过十年前银幕上的第一次解逅，让我无法忘记这个人。电影人物姓“Pope”，就直翻“主教”。那个时候看来确实是一绝。

谁知道好戏才刚开始，更妙的陆续有来。

魔戒第一集里面的半兽人(Orc)竟变成“果树林”。

"Give him your gun"变成“给你他的枪”。

"Princess"变成“王子”。(Hellboy II)

"Ironman"变成《坚强的男人》。

还有更多不胜枚举的例子，足以令一部严肃的电影变成胡闹搞笑片。正如我朋友在网上告诉我的：“It really makes you angry in a funny way!”

好，笑够了。现在是下达通缉令的时候。

在逃犯：Shirley/Sharon Pang
悬赏：无价
罪状：1. 涉嫌丢尽马来西亚华人中文水平的面子
2. 胡翻英文电影对白
最高刑法：游街示众

Everybody! Let's go!!

菅野よう子

2008-07-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

突然间想用中文写部落格。

怎样？吹咩？想看啊？去学中文啦笨！

最近在纽约煲《攻壳机动队--Stand Alone Complex》电视影集。故事和先进动画看到爽之余，我也同时爱上了作曲者菅野よう子（Kanno Yoko，华语大概念成“阳子”还是什么的吧）。看名字就知道是位女士。她的音乐果然很有女性细致的一面，都写得非常用心。我很少注意到电视片集的音乐可以做到这么用心的。

菅野的这部作品大多运用电子元素，很多声音样本（sample），很多很好玩很特别的节奏，再加上很多延绵不断的悠长和声，把人带进无限遐想，且很有lounge还有chill out music的味道。

我非常幸运竟然在谷中城广场顶楼的东洋动画店找到SAC的原声唱片，不过一直都没有坐下来好好听。现在夜阑人静的时候插入耳机听起来，竟然让我连听了好几次！

有两首特别惊艳的曲目，让我在这里列明一下，好让当家去买了过后注意一下：

Track 5 Where Does This Ocean Go?
菅野在这里先让爵士常用的刷棒（brush）击打小鼓（snare drum）的真实声响，然后配上很空灵的Fender Rhodes电子钢琴的键盘声，非常有那种真假，新旧的对比。再加上柔美的歌声，听了根本就不会想再从梦中醒来。

Track 12 Fish ~ Silent Cruise
这首刚开始的时候很悲情，童声女高音配上委婉的弦乐，是非常典型的日本现代电影音乐。不过一阵沉默过后，五分钟十五秒的时候，电音节奏开始了另一段音乐。弦乐还是一样悲哀，可是那越来越强劲有活力的电音节奏竟然重新诠释了这段弦乐的整体感觉。虽然和声还是一样，但竟然在节奏下被重新定义成“酷”。菅野这一手还真的非同凡响，佩服！

接下来我要去买它第二第三张原声大碟，嘿嘿...

Thanks...

2008-06-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

Summer...

Time to go home for a while and leave everything in New York behind for two months...

Well, not everything, but you know what I mean...

But before I leave, I have to list out a few names --- people who treat me so well that I dunno how to repay them. Without these people, I'd say, I might have become very broke, not known in the scene, or.... well, let's just say, I might not become who I am today.

Thanks to

Ray Pizzi --- he's my improvisation Jedi master, but at the same time my father figure who taught me so many things in life.

Daniel Phillips --- my classical violin teacher who made me the musician I am right now.

Christian Howes --- my friend and some-time teacher whom I met at the subway, the first person in New York who really cares about my career as a musician and later signed my artist visa application, he's the whole reason I'm still around. He also changed the way I play jazz --- like how he changed many others.

Claudia Wigent --- if Ray Pizzi's my father figure, then Claudia's my mother figure. She's a great harpist and music contractor of various big wedding events. She is also one of the few people who really cares about my career, both artistically and monetarily. She's always watching my back. I am very touched what she'd done to me. *hugs*

Jenny Lin --- say, if Ray is my father figure, Claudia is my mother figure, I guess Jenny is my SISTER figure. I dunno how she trusted me so much, first time we met in her concert she said she wanted to play with me (she'd never hear me play before). And she's always very supportive about the weird stuff I have been trying to do. She just has that strange faith in me, somehow. *hug hug*

Mike Block --- this is my Jewish bro who approached me for the Sirius Quartet position. If it ain't this guy, nobody in the scene would take note of me still.

Yuko --- my dancer/choreographer friend. Even though we have only met for 2 weeks to date, she became my first ever loyal fan. She followed every single show that I played since we met. I should include Yoshiko and Rio's names here too but Yuko is definitely the leader of the fan base!! I also have to thank her strange faith in me (similar to that of Jenny's), hiring me as a "composer" in her project, knowing that I'm not actually a composer.

Last but not least, my hip hop brotha, Akim Funk Buddha. Yes man, you're another person who've been appreciating what I do on my fiddle and making good use of it. You brought me to Kennedy Center, Joe's Pub, all those places. What can I say except giving a big hug to you?

Thanks to all of you, I won't forget any of you for my whole life.

Ray Pizzi back with some words of gold (updated)

2008-06-18T23:26:00.000-07:00

My dear musician friends, please, watch this! This man is my improvisation teacher and he is one of the few people I know who loves music more than his own life ---- and now he's teaching you how!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezUAUg1A6NU

This is the reason how he could survive on top of the food chain in the Hollywood industry.

Hollywood is a tough place to be in, and it's usually recording industry as everyone knows, which is hectic and super-organized --- to the point of "anal-ity". I've seen too many money-minded Hollywood musicians and composers who already forgot about the true meaning of music when I was there in LA. It's kinda scary to imagine what would I become if I lived there for 10 years as a studio musician. But under this kind of environment, Ray has been able to be on top of his form and makes good music every day and still loves every minute of making music. What does it take to stay in such good shape?

Now this is what I call "Practising what he preaches"!

Diuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

2008-06-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really hate New York subway.

I was running over to Panoramasian rehearsal today, thought I would get there on time this time (been late last time). Jules wanted to come along to Manhattan, so naturally, I had to wait for him a bit. Then he fucked up, he found out that his card was done and had to buy one at the vending machine.

"BRRRRRRROOOOOOM", one train pass by above my head.

Fuck, right?

So we waited for the 7 train, it took quite a while to come over to the station. 12.16pm, supposed to be there by 1pm. It's OK, I can make it because F train is fast.

Tried to transfer to F train, it was an E train right there and it went away as soon as we got to thr platform. And we thought F train will be next...

About like 10 minutes later... E TRAIN!!!

By then it was already like 12.30pm or some shit. If the train was F, I should've been able to be there on time...

OK, nevermind, I took E, thinking of transferring to F in West 4.

Fuck, when I finally got to the first stop in Manhattan, 12.50pm.

I'm fucked, I thought. So I got out of the train, ran up to street level and got a cab.

I was late still...

Diuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

My friend, Daijiro's "speech"

2008-06-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

My buddy, Daijiro, went back to Japan after his short stay in Germany, studying with Roger Norrington. I was puzzled by his move. After many months, he finally gave me the reason why, and his words deeply touched me. And you asshole out there who think that we should all wear suits and night gowns into the concert hall! READ THIS!!

well this is why i came back to japan. i need to do this as soon as possible. otherwise, in 30 years, we are dead. I sound like making a speech below. well i intended to.

The environment where people get cultured

There is surprisingly a lot of concerts and exhibition in Europe.

There are concerts in numerous amounts of churches in a city every week, in music hall daily. Addition to it, there is operas. Beside, inexpensive tickets are always available.

This means that enjoying cultural events is normal act. And the environment for it is ready for people.

There are as many concerts in Europe as in Tokyo. However, the ticket price is much higher than it is in Europe. And the concerts take places in the same 4-5 concert halls which is located in City Center: therefore, it is quite far from the place where people live. The concerts begins early, therefore there is no time to have dinner before the concert. Hence audiences have to eat sandwich in the hall. This means that unless you have flexible schedule (who has it anyway in Tokyo?) and earn good, you cannot really enjoy concerts COMFOTABLY in Tokyo. In other words, most of people have to make effort or sacrifice in order to go to live performance. And top to all, Kids are not welcomed here.

When children grow up n this situation, they understand that going to concert is something special, something tiresome. They think participating cultural events, which enrich their life, is actually unproductive and waste. But they are the future audience. Is this OK? Off course not. Then, what should we do?　　　　　　

Children must attend cultural events as frequently as possible with their parents and enjoy. For this, creating such an environment is crucial, otherwise, we cannot hope for future.

The success of the Festival La Folle Journee in Japan is suggestive. The success is largely depends on its inexpensive ticket and flexible schedule. People are eager to engage themselves to these concerts if they do not have any stress both financially and time wise.

Unfortunate thing is audience for the festival does not listen to Classical music in normal situation. It means, there is no increasing in the amount of audience in professional music organization such as orchestras in Tokyo.

A big event does not help Classical world to have more audience. A fashion of listening to classical music does not help increasing audience. Because it is the big event, people come. Because it is cool only RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT, people listen. These things would not educate our future audience. NEVER!

Then what do we need? As I mentioned above, we musicians must frequently provide concerts which people can come without stress with their kids. In churches, public governed halls and Buddha temple and etc. If children grow up in this environment where they taste arts as daily food, they will be willing to go to those big halls where 100 people is playing together (this is really something abnormal you know that!), and therefore they understand that the ticket has to be expensive.

So please we have to spend our time and energy to create this environment. I hope you agree with me and do something together.

and this is my response to him:

Dude, well said! I have a lot of same thinking as u. Same thing happens in Malaysia --- well, even worse, because our level is not as high as Japan!

Going to see Malaysian Philharmonic is like going to a temple or shrine to worship the gods. And the stupid hall asks people to wear suit and night gowns to attend those concerts, otherwise they won't be allowed into the hall. Now what does that mean??? It ended up that most of the people attending are either hardcore music lovers who can afford to spend or yuppies who think going to concerts make them look cool and cultured, yet they don't know a thing.

I really hate this. I hate it from my guts. That's why I want to go home too. But not yet, not until I do something good here until people will believe what I say.

I wish you all the success u will get in the future! And please, if you can find sponsors to get me to Japan, let's play again!

Good luck my brother!

Petrol~~

2008-06-07T00:46:00.001-07:00

Oil price rising
Extra 78 cents per litter.
Buddy asked me what to do.
I said, "Nothing."

Yea but seriously
What to do?

NOTHING!
Life goes on.

He repeated the same question
I said,
Can't sell your car because Malaysian public transport
Sucks ass
Just live
A simpler life
Less expensive, branded clothes
Cook at home
Less entertainment
Less socialising
And most important of all
Divorce your wife
or
Break up with your girlfriend

And then
Life goes on

Back to Civilisation

2008-06-01T10:45:00.000-07:00

Bitches, I'm back!

I can't believe I finally got back after a 14-hour drive from South Dakota dammit!!

We had a 4-day tour since Monday, visited Badlands, stayed there for a night, then checked in to Black Hills, went to see the four dead guys' heads in Mt Rushmore, crossed over to Wyoming to look at Devil's Tower.

In between those, we went to see some wildlife in Custer National Park, watching bisons, deers and shit... oh and the cute little prairie dogs.

In a summary, it's an ass-hurting journey of total boredom from old people saying garbage (am referring to my sis' mom-in-law) and lots of exciting wild animal action.

Tired tired tired...

But the views were nice, air was fresh, and people were nice out there.

Somehow I feel that the people there in the mountains are like Malays... Very nice people, very sincere, but when they do things they're very slow...

From Black Hills, South Dakota

2008-05-30T01:03:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I know some of you read my blog regularly.

I'm sorry I've been disappearing for a while.

I'm typing this message inside a forest in South Dakota, called Black Hills.

Very big land with nothing but wilderness.

Feel very lucky to actually able to steal some signal from somewhere I don't even know where.

Will talk about the trip when I get back in touch with civilisation.

Cheers.

Food fest, concert, and baba-mama's arrival

2008-05-19T00:12:00.000-07:00

So I slept like so damn "early" this morning, it's unbelievable.

Nick woke me up at 11.44am to ask me if I wanna go to Food Festival in Manhattan, which I really wanted to go. So I pinched myself in the butt and made myself more awake, opened the door for Nick, changed to my concert clothes, and went straight to Manhattan.

The Food Fest was held for two days, and it spanned from 37 St, all the way up to 57 St, on 9 Avenue. NYPD blocked the road so that people can walk along these 20 blocks and enjoy their food.

There were soul food, latino stuff (one too many same ones), Indonesian food, Jamaican food, Greek, Italian, blah blah blah... they're all street food. One thing was, there were also lots of stalls that don't sell food altogether. They sold sunglasses...duh...CDs....duh....T-shirts....double duh.... but wait, we saw one very funny stall that only sells Obama t-shirts that they designed themselves. We saw "Obama is My Homeboy", "Obama mama"... there were more I couldn't remember.

I didn't eat too much, but I had Amy's Bread's yummy brownie, Indonesian chicken wing, Jamaican jerk chicken, and a BBQ rib from Spanky's Ribs. I also bought a strawberry-banana smoothie from a Taiwanese stall.

Along they way, I saw the Japanese bellydancer chick that I met in UN dancing on the street outside a middle-eastern restaurant. Poor girl was dancing in the drizzle, hope she didn't catch a cold with those sexy clothes of hers.

When it was finally raining for real, Nick and I went to the subway, and I went straight to my gig in Bayside.

It was a concert with the Oratorio Society of Queens, and I'm playing in a group called Ensemble of Orchestral Arts or some shit like that. The orchestra wasn't that impressive, but the choir was pretty good --- well at least they treat their game seriously, and sang with full passion and commitment. The soloist were all very good singers, some even sang in the New York City Opera, dun pray pray.

Got the check right away!!!!

After having a dinner with Brando and Charlie, Brando drove me back home and I finally took back my amp from him. My looping station is on the way, so I have to get ready to play my new toy!! hehe...

Then at 9.50pm, I got out of the house to take a train to JFK to pick up mama and baba. Gawd, they brought so many things over! I literally stuff my food closet FULL! I have one whole year of food right there... hehehehehe....

Alright, now they're asleep in my room, I gotta crash on the sofa now...tata...

Jangan kerja utk orang yunani

2008-05-16T00:21:00.000-07:00

Saya ni orang M'sia, biasalah tak tau orang yunani tu macam mana. Tapi tentulah kadangkalanya dengar khabar angin mengenai c'ita-c'ita kedekut mereka.

Tapi sejak sampai di Amerika ni baru saya tau seteruk macam mana mereka boleh jadi.

Di sini saya nak menyampaikan mesej saya dulu: Saya ni bukan racist. Saya menulis artikel ni memang kerana ada ekspiriens beberapa tahun berkerja dengan/untuk orang yunani dan akhirnya memang tak boleh tahan lagi.

Mereka ni suka membayar anda sikit wang, lepas tu buat anda kerja seandai kerbau.

Saya seorang pemuzik freelance di sini. Acap kali saya bermain dengan orkestra-orkestra dan band-band yunani untuk kenduri-kenduri ataupun majlis-majlis perkahwinan yunani. Setiap kali kami pemuzik-pemuzik kena main sepanjang 4 atau 5 jam di sana-sini seluruh hotel. Ada suatu peristiwa saya masih ingat, saya dibayar $50 selepas bermain sepanjang 5 jam!!

Tadi saya menerima e-mel dari guru besar suatu sekolah menengah yunani yang saya mengajar sekumpulan 16 pelajar setiap Isnin. Kerja ini membayar saya $24 untuk setiap minggu --- sama harga dengan saya mengajar satu pelajar di sekolah muzik lain yang saya ajar.

Pelajar-pelajar di situ memang tak serius, tak datang ke kelas, membuat bising semacam orang sakai. Malam ini saya menghantar keputusan pelajar-pelajar sial tu kepada guru besar. Selepas 2 jam, guru besar menjawab surat saya seperti di bawah:

Thank you Mr. X for getting back to me so promptly. I understand your disappointment in the group and regret having to hire a new violin teacher for next year. However, I am equally disapponted in some of the instructors of the classes as well, whose attendance and record keeping left alot to be desired and contributed greatly to the disfunction of some of the classes. There was little effort made on the part of some of the instructors to take the lead in seeing that their class would be successful. I partially blame myself for expecting too much on the part of some of the instructors. The nature of these classes was not to make concert musicians of the students but to expose them to an area of music that they had no experience with and to broaden their experiences in high school. When the program began last year in Feb. 2007 it appears that the original instructor made a connection with the students while teaching 5 different instruments on five diferent days and maintaining an attendance of well into the 90% range for the students enrolled. I believe the effort expended by some of the instructors determined the ultimate success or failure of the class. A number of instructors made no effort to find out why the missing students did not show up, rarely informed me of particular students absences, failed to keep regular attendance week to week, failed to submit those records to me on a weekly basis, never took the interest to get the students phone numbers and call home occasionally to find out why they had not attended, never even tried to learn the student names, came late or were absent numerous times themselves, sometimes sent substitutes who had no idea what was going on, never assigned seating or places, never made the effort to seek me out, never came early to discuss issues, only spoke with me when I approached them and so on and on. If I were a high school student I think I would have ditched such a class after a 10 hour school day. Once spme of the students realized an instructor didn't really care, they followed suit. Never-the-less, I thank you for your efforts and I am just as disappointed in the students who did not show the proper dedication to the class as you were but I am even more disappointed in the instructors who did not have the professionalism or skills to conduct a proper voluntary after school high school music class.

I wish you continued success in the future and thank you for your efforts on behalf of the students.

Best wishes,
Harvey Fxxxxxx

Ini memang pukimak punya orang. Mati sajalah!

Nap...

2008-05-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Shit man, I haven't had a full blown sleep for NIGHTS!

Finally!!

I crash at about 6pm just now and slept till 9pm+!!!

It was grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the show and the rest in Boston...

2008-05-10T20:10:00.001-07:00

I played my first show with Sirius on the 8th of March.

People loved it, and they were surprised when they realised that I only perform with Sirius for the first time. They said I blend in with them very well. Glad to hear that.

The guys accepted me as their member, and we are doing a Germany trip in the end of September, making a recording there.

*****

Right after the show, I walked over to the edge of Chinatown to catch my last Fung Wah ride for the night, going to Boston.

On the way, I called my sis to tell her the good news, she said she was very proud of me. And after a while mama called me too, she also said that she's very happy for me.

The reason that I came to Boston was to record for some guy's album. Jeremy got me this gig.

The next morning, we started recording at around 12pm and ended at 8.30pm.

The album was a concept album by this guy Gavin. He's a very serious musician who really knows every detail that he wants. I like to work with people like this.

But because the session was too long, at one point I felt like a zombie...

Although we started at 12, we got paid more than that because we were supposed to start at 11am and Gavin was late himself. He even paid for my bus ride to and from Boston.

The rest of the night was of course nothing but chilling.......

A conversation I just dug up

2008-05-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning up my Facebook mailbox and I stumbled upon this conversation that I had with Liz, my non-genetic little sis, before she went over to Singapore to study.

She was a naive little girl when I knew her, homeschooled most of her life, very well-protected, didn't really know much about the outside world. But she had a very strong character and very opinionated, which made it hard to work with her.

So upon her departure to Singapore, I burned her a CD with Train's hit song, "Drops of Jupiter" inside. A year after she went to Singapore, I asked her if she liked the song, she said she naturally didn't like it cuz it was rock. I smiled it off.

Last year, I bumped into her on Facebook (LONG LIVE FACEBOOK!), so here's our conversation:

Me
7:42am Feb 28th
"Now tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the milky way and see the lights all faded, and heaven is overrated. Now tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"

Do you now get the meaning of me sending this song to you when you first went off to study?

Liz
12:54pm Mar 2nd
Yes i do!! It didn't make much sense back then, but looking back after four years of college.. I have to say it's been quite a journey and an eye-opening experience. I bet you felt almost the same way when u went to the States!

Me
2:10am Mar 3rd
perhaps, but not as much as you, seeing the different environments we grew up in. it's always good to be around many people, u see u learn and u grow.So tell me, did you sail across the sun? ;)

Liz
2:07pm Mar 11th
Here's to you, big bro!

I sailed across the sun and made it to the Milky Way
And saw the lights all faded, stayed in heaven for a day
"Without scars there can be no stars", is what I heard them say
And missed you when I found myself.. back from the Milky Way

Me
1:03am Mar 12th
Haha! GOOD ONE!!! I like that!!!

(thank god it made sense to her...)

Gay boy's finally gone

2008-05-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

So, little gay boy Chen Han is finally gone!

We had a fun little gathering before he went off with his girlfriend.

No, he's not really gay, he just likes to act gay.

But yeah, u can imagine, we had a whole "gay fest" last night, that involves everyone in the house --- me, Jules, Mune --- and also someone worths a mention: Nick!!

Nick's always been so serious and shit, but couldn't help but yield at our gay act. So we simulated a whole bunch of crazy gang rape and BJ (using a beer bottle to be the replacement for a real cock), while Chen Han's girlfriend was standing right there watching speechlessly.

But it was fun to live with this dude, he's been a fun hang, and we wish him all the best in his doctorate studies oh and also getting out of his closet.

My first iPod, wandering around Manhattan, Kitchen ware shopping

2008-05-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

Finally, I bought the first iPod in my life, an 8 GB iPod Nano. It's a nice little machine that stores up to 2000 standard length songs. It should be a fun experience to use it, at least it doesn't react as slow as my busted Creative Zen Stone!

After Paranoid Android's rehearsal last night, I decided to go watch a movie in TriBeCa Film Fest at midnight. It was funny that I didn't check the address of the cinema and finally got lost on 23rd St. So I ended up walking around there and found out a couple of spots that I could never piece together: The Cutting Room, Baruch College and the New School area. Bought some halal food at a roadside stall, quite nice. Then I waited for Jules at the Citibank next to the station, the time was around 12.30am. Finally Jules came and we started to walk up to 42nd St. Didn't really do anything as it was very late and everything closed...

And today Jules and I went to buy some kitchen ware in Flushing cuz gay boy Chen Han is moving away back to his bitch. So we can't rely on his gear anymore, have to buy our own stuff --- which I'm glad in away, at least the rice cooker is like 2 or 3 times bigger. I also bought a hairdryer for moi long hair, haha!

Diu, for a moment I had a weird feeling that we look like a married couple shopping in the supermarket, hahahahaha!!!

DIUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

There and back again...

2008-04-28T02:41:00.000-07:00

Did some recordings, played a competition (that we shouldn't have joined), played a small performance, after that, Jules and I rushed over to Boston's bus terminal just on time to catch the last bus of the night --- thanks to Charlie's speedy and scary driving.

Half way through the journey, I was awaken by New York ---- no, not the place itself, but the smell. The toilet in the bus smelled worse than longkang! DIUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luckily we stopped by a McDonald's on the way and caught some fresh air outside for 10 minutes. And sure enough, the driver was aware of the smell, he turned on the aircond big enough to let go of the smell ----- until we physically got back to New York, the smell came back...

It was drizzling outside the window, both of us pulled up our hoods and walked through the quiet Chinatown, went over to the R station, waited for the train for like 20 minutes before we hopped on to the train. We started to diss the stupid people that we worked with during the long wait, and didn't stop until we got home. Dissing behind is fun sometimes, especially when you can't say things straight to people. But of course, make sure the person you talk to is someone you can trust...

Among them people that we dissed was one of the most amazing violinists we've ever met.

Jeremy's voice still resonates in my head: It's like, this guy needs to chill the fuck out...!

Haw haw!

blah blah.......

2008-04-22T22:52:00.001-07:00

Had my first rehearsal with Sirius today, damn fun! ... well, at least 100 times better than V4...

Ronnie is quite a crazy muthafucka, but is actually also a very nice person. Been hearing his name and his recordings with various big shots (including Tony Williams) throughout his careers. Glad to finally be able to play with him! Mike is a mutha on the cello of course, no doubt about that.

Tomorrow will be the next rehearsal.... let's see how I can hack that through, haha!!! no.... i actually practised the shit, so it should be fine.

* * * * * * * * *

Some people might feel weird seeing me putting the "love china" sign in front of my screen name of msn. But I mean why not? I want to see the Games to run smoothly and peacefully. I mean, I don't wanna act like I stand on whoever's side, but c'mon, Olympics game is a GAME, not a political arena, for god's sake just let it happen peacefully!

I mean, those of you who protest and shit, do you actually know what is happening in there? No? Then don't shout, because the truth might be very different from what you think.

Just let the Games happen smoothly!

(Some of you are probably gonna hate me for this, i don't give a fuck.)

Vuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Kenny Garrett!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-21T00:02:00.000-07:00

I watched two gigs tonight: the first one being Chris Speed's Yeah No in the Stone, and the second one was The Headhunters featuring Kenny Garrett in Iridum Jazz Club. Went to see both of them with Jules.

Well, as you can see, I'm very fond of the downtown scene, so the Stone was of course my idea, especially Cuong Vu was playing! The band was fuckin' explosive man. The songs they played were pretty accessible to the general public ---- more rock-oriented beats, pounding grooves... But that doesn't mean that it was bad though, to the contrary, it was great!! Some of you may think it's like some funk fusion shit, but no, it's not. It's more like noise/rock/avant-garde all bastarded together.

The line-up was Chris Speed on tenor, Cuong Vu on trumpet, Skuli Sverisson on bass, Ted Reichman on accordion, and Jim Black on drums.

It was so explosive, I guess thanks to Jim Black's intoxicating drumming. But of course, without Chris Speed and Cuong's beautiful melodic interplay, I don't think anything much will happen. One complain was Ted Reichman's accordion was most of the time drowned out by the others. Maybe plug in next time?

* * * * * * * * * *

After a quick bite near the Stone, we rushed over to Iridium to check out The Headhunters' last show in NY.

Kenny Garrett was just great, I dunno what else to say.

And the pianist, Geri Allen also, shit, fuckin' burning man!! Seldom see ladies playing in jazz clubs, but when they do, they usually burn your motherfucking ass.

After the show, we managed to talk to Kenny. I mean Jules went to see the show 2 nights ago, so Kenny already knew him and spotted him on the stage. I went up to say hi to him in Mandarin, he was surprised and then he took my card and said he will give me a call to practise his Mandarin. NOW HOW COOL IS THAT?!!! YAY!!!!!!!!

Here's a pic of Kenny on fire...

Random stuff

2008-04-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

I find that I'm a pretty greedy person, I guess if I have loads of money, I might finish spending it in no time. The reason I said that is because I always like to borrow loads of DVDs and CDs in the library. Now you see, CDs are fine, usually I just rip them into my computer and I can return them; but DVDs are a problem, they need you to sit down, spend time and watch them before you can return them. Otherwise you have to copy them, but copying a DVD and copy it nicely literally takes an hour to do so.

I have to say I am pretty busy most of the time, no time to sit down and watch them, so naturally the items will be overdue without me realizing it ---- some DVDs from Queens Library are 3-day loans. Then what? Pay the late fees! And Queens Library has such high late fees it scares the shit out of me.

A good example was yesterday, when I returned four DVDs, they charged me $24 bucks for 2/3 days overdue!!!!

So I'd better becareful with this issue next time, no point wasting money that way...

* * * * * * * *

I feel very lucky that the members of Sirius String Quartet approached me to play their concert in May 8th in The Flea Theater. It will be their CD release performance, featuring one of the violinists, Gregor Hübner's music. Also featured are 2 pieces by my friend, the cellist, Mike Block.

I'm glad that I finally get to play in such a quartet with amazing players who have similar (if not same) musical interests as me, while testing their instruments limits. I was practising this one thing in Gregor's piece today ---- there is one whole movement of slurred repeated notes that has to be played with different left hand fingers on each, so in the end, it visually looks like a pipa player or something, very cool, though it's a bitch to practise. I got through it sooner than I thought because I realised I was toying with this unconventional technique since I was pretty young ---- dunno why, I just liked to fuck around with my violin.

Anyways.... kind of an update.... for myself maybe, dunno.... ciao ciao...

My buddy leavin'

2008-04-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

Chen Han, u muthafucka!! You're leavin' all of us and go back to your old nest Rochester!!

Our next meal and beers will be YOUR TREAT as a punishment, motherfucker!!

But it's been fun living as roommates with you, your easy-going personality makes people feel easy to be around you. Late-night PS2 sessions man, those are some memorable moments!

Hope you have fun with your DMA programme... oh and, please don't burn your apartment again...

Being a musician's body double

2008-04-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

i dunno how often this shit happens, but it certainly happened to me today.

i became chris' body double in a rehearsal for this thursday's gig.

jules said i should chill out because he did that shit before too, i dunno how true is that.

i mean, learning music for a person and he'll play the gig doesn't make so much sense to me.

but whatever... we'll see what would this become...

Rozemary'z Babiez... Franck...

2008-04-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

So, we the Babiez finally did our debut in Studio A.I.R.!

Audience's (very small) reactions were very good and they said they could feel our shit. I was happy about it!

But I felt that mapping out the piece was kinda stiff for me, because there wasn't much freedom involved. My idea of making the music "elastic" (sounding different every time) obviously didn't work out for the other two Babiez.

...................................

Sunday (April 6) finally came, the tribute concert to Mr Kouguell was finally happening!

Nick was still gloomy in the morning when he came to get his music. He's been scary ever since we started to rehearse the shit. To tell the truth he scared the shit outta my friends. He didn't scold anyone, but just by looking at him was scary enough...

Mozart Dissonance was kinda shitty, Chen Han was toooo nervous that he kept on fucking up his part in every single movement! We all felt like shit after we played it. But I can't blame that guy, he's tried his best, and he was a last minute replacement. Respect!

Luckily my Franck Sonata was good (at least, I thought so). I dunno why I could bring out all my musicality in that one. I still couldn't get out of that emotion after I played it. It was some powerful, almost religious shit! I felt really drained after that...

The Vaughn Williams was nothing much to shout about, but it was nice... (at one point I went blank and forgot to come in, Chen Han was cold-sweating...)

Dick bouncer in Union Hall

2008-03-29T01:05:00.000-07:00

I've been to Union Hall to watch my friend Max's gig before. It was kinda noisy in there, so when I needed to make a phone call, I went out of the joint to do it. While calling in front of Union Hall, the big black fuckin' bouncer came over and asked me to go call somewhere else. I was kinda surprised, so I asked him what's wrong. He said I can't make a phone call in front of the building.

I was like "WTF?!" so I said, "Why not?" He gave me the most ridiculous answer, "There are people living across the street."

Motherfucker! Do I talk that loud to wake people up?! Plus, hey, it's Union Hall, everybody goes there for gigs, do you think that place will be any quiet? God's sake man, even the cars on the streets are noisier than a talking voice!

I went to Union Hall again just now, trying to catch my friend Charlie's CD release party. Fuckin' bouncer asked for ID from me. So I showed him my old work authorization card with my photo and birth date on it. Note that this card got me into any bars and clubs in New York.

The bouncer pointed his torch light to my card, I pointed out the birth date for him. He said, "No, I'm looking at this," pointing at the expiry dead. "It's expired, can't let you in."

I was like, "WTF?!!!"

My friend Anthony said he forgot his ID, but told him that he is 36 years old, which he really looks, the fuckin' bouncer didn't buy it either. He said, "Strict rules guys, no ID, expired ID, cannot get in!"

Expired ID cannot get in?! It's not a fake ID though! Expired ID doesn't mean that the birth date on the card is expired, does it?!

Holy shit, I turned and left the fucking place.

Whatever event in the future I don't care man, but I definitely WON'T go back to that shithole!

Remember guys: Don't go to Union Hall!!!

Stupidity

2008-03-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

You see people are fuckin' stupid most of the time.

Mr T and Mr C are enemies. One day, Mr T punched Mr C's face, Mr C felt pain of course he protect himself by grabbing Mr T's arms and pressed him to the ground to prevent him hitting him again. While Mr T was on the ground, he scratched his face too and his arms were bruised.

Now when people came over and asked what's going, they saw Mr C pressing Mr T on the ground and didn't let him get up. And they started to suspect that Mr C was attacking Mr T first. Mr C explained, but Mr T was on the ground moaning, yelling and crying saying how painful he felt. The people around started to give compassion to Mr T and accuse Mr C for pressing Mr T on the ground.

The fact was, Mr C was trying to throw a party for his birthday, and Mr T wanted to ruin his plan by fighting with him in front of people to show the bad image of Mr C, so that people won't go to his party.

When Mr T struggled and escaped Mr C's pressing, he continued hitting Mr C and people around him saw it as a "strike-back under surpression". Mr C, of course, wouldn't give up, he started to hit Mr T back. Now there came some hipocrites from the church and gangsters who think they run the village, criticizing Mr C's violence towards Mr T.

Their words further turned the whole village against Mr C while Mr T was the real person who started this fight. Some villagers started to boycott Mr C's upcoming party because of the "bad image" he had shown...

Nice.

What's the deal...

2008-03-21T01:42:00.000-07:00

Hm...

Hm...

Hm...

Shit, I wanna play some seriously good pop gigs man.

You know, shit like David Tao? This mutha makes good music and is very serious about it. I admire his works.

But shit, it's always some stupid ass violinists that play his shit.

Shit, I wanna play it too...

But maybe first things' first, let me reduce my belly size first... :P

Passes...

2008-03-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

I dunno why man, all the great figures in arts and culture are dying one by one...

There were two other casualties yesterday.

1. Anthony Mighella, who directed The English Patient, The Talented Mr Ripley, and Cold Mountain, passed away at the age of 54.

2. Arthur C. Clarke, 90, passed away in his Sri Lanka home. This man needs no introduction, he wrote all the greatest of sci-fi novels, which includes 2001: A Space Oddysey, Rendezvous with Rama and many more.

Rest in Peace.

More random shit...

2008-03-16T23:43:00.001-07:00

Went to see Chris Howes' gig today, happy to see him play again since last September. The band was a fantastic combination of great musicians ---- Chris himself, Oli Rockberger on keys, Janek Gwizdala on bass, Joel Rosenplatt on drums and Joel Newton on guitar. Amazing playing the whole night through.

Funny thing was Jules and I saw this little Japanese chick walking in like an excited little jazz fan from NYU. During the break, Jules asked me if she was Hiromi the pianist. I said, "Nah, can't be lah. She might look like her but Hiromi must be a very busy person to check out gigs." But then we overheard Chris calling her "Hiromi". We looked at each other: Wei, it's really her!

So after the show, I went up and asked a stupid question,"Excuse me, are you Hiromi?" She looked at me surprised, "Yes..." I asked again, "The Hiromi?" She said, looking at me more puzzled, "Yes..." So we started to introduce ourselves and told her how much we admire her playing and shit. That was some funny experience. She said she came to Malaysia before ------- when she was 17.

cheh... it was a school trip...

Came home, had a fight with sis over the phone cuz I made a very bad joke. I apologised to her but she didn't let me just get away with it... sigh... She started to blame NY and my friends here for transforming me into something so indecent and low-class and immoral.......

It's hard to be yourself in front of your own family I guess... Yeah I know my joke was too over-the-top but I dunno what else can I do other than saying sorry to her....

Duh... Guess won't have a good sleep tonight...

Random shit

2008-03-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

Hiro gave me a surprise call today (I never gave him my number), telling me that he thought he saw my keys in the library's lost-and-found. After hearing his description, I was sure that it was mine. I was on my way to QC to meet up with Charlie anyway, so I picked it up in the library. I was pretty glad that I found it back because the talisman that Mune got for me was there.

The musical rehearsal today was fun. I love cuts! The more the better! It makes everything so much shorter and easier!

It's fun to play with Meesh and Charlie because both are terrific musicians. The funk was sooooooo funky. Of course, Andrea took the tempo faster today. Some of the students really can't sing at all though. sigh...

Oh man... i dunno why am i so tired today... what the fuck did i do anyway? just a stinkin' rehearsal? no way...

I missed Rudresh's show today because I was too tired and hungry, plus the fuckin' rehearsal only ends at 9pm!!

I dunno man, I'm starting to have the crave to write music again. Maybe it's about time. I just wrote a tune that day, called 6 Months (or maybe i will call it The 6th Month, I dunno yet). Finally, after half a year, I'm writing again.

Also I wanna start writing shit for Rosemary's Babies (Brian doesn't seem to like this name), more shit. I'm thinking of some pre-composed themes that's blended into our improv.

We'll see how it goes...

Shit... I feel like shit whenever I sit down... New York is a dark chamber full of lonely people squeezing to each other... We're all very close, and yet very far...

That's New York for you, despite all the superficial glamour that people admire from far...

A few words to Meesh

2008-03-08T02:32:00.000-08:00

Hey friend, listen: we will finish the shit, no matter what.

As the old book says, close every door behind you. We started somethin', we finish it. We don't leave anything hangin'.

I know you will finish it somehow, but don't get all upset and shit. Shit happens sometimes.

Like last year during the summer, I really felt like everything was falling apart. My visa situation, my money running low, gigs didn't knock on my door, etc...

But hey, I walked through it in one piece! That's all that matters.

So now, if you walked through your situation and shittiness right now in one piece, a better time will come and I can guarantee you that you can get your shit done.

I'm listening to Mediterraneo. Damn it sounds great, I think it's my favourite song by you.

Let's think of something. Let's play some.

The thing with chicks

2008-03-01T01:13:00.001-08:00

Yeah I really think I have a problem with chicks man, I dunno why.

Every time I see a chick that I think I like, they'd never get back to me. NEVER.

Whenever I tried to ask them to keep in touch, they never do ---- even though I wrote them.

But you know, whatever. What's new since high school? Nothing.

All my ex-gfs are weirdos anyway.

Guess I'm gonna be single my whole life...

Of Oistrakh and Men...

2008-02-20T21:37:00.001-08:00

The biggest difference between David Oistrakh and the pitiful mortal violinists is ---- he has a real heart.

I was watching four different versions of Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto: Akiko Suwanai, Perlman, Midori and Oistrakh.

Suwanai was clean, very clean, but I couldn't feel no music from her. It sounded very plain from her, like a glass of water, nothing more. And she won the Tchaikovsky competition --- that shows you how people appreciate music these days.

Perlman, you can hear some music from him, but he's just easy going with some of the passages, not detailed enough.

Midori, very emotional, but I only felt the fire in her and not much of other things. I was touched in a certain parts, but in the more tender parts, it didn't feel so deep.

Oistrakh, King David, the God, even just by listening to the opening phrase of the first theme, you'd know that he is the one! I dunno how he did it, but he just did it! It's really something amazing. See, of all the videos, Oistrakh's video is oldest black-and-white clip. But for some reason, his violin sound just penetrates through the muffled old recording sound and sounded like a modern recording!

You see the difference between Oistrakh and the usual mortal men? I think I did.

Funk Buddha gig in Zebulon

2008-02-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

I thought I was lost after getting off from the subway.

Walking along Metropolitan Ave in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, looking for Zebulon Cafe, it was really cold because wind was blowing so strong it almost shrunk my balls.

When I finally got to Zebulon, only the percussionist Vivian was there. We waited there for one hour (show hits at 10pm), watching Akira Kurosawa's Dreams juxtaposing with Brazillian music played from the PA system. Akim and others came a little later after that.

When we finally hit, I told the drummer I would start off with the riff of Name Wee's "King of Daoban". I was listening to that song on the way, so I thought it would be fun to start off with that --- it's also a rap song anyway.

It was a fun night, which Akim regarded as "rehearsal". It was the usual spontaneous style that Akim is used to, only even freer this time. It was fun!

Peter Lew wasn't there, so there weren't any harmony or anything, and I became the "chordal instrument", playing all the riffs and maintain the simple harmonic progressions that I created on the spot. My delay pedals were a great help, I could do so much more colours with it!

I did some "conversations" with a couple of the performers and guests, exchanging licks and stuff.

The great thing was Pete List was back in the group. Man, I'd say he's my favourite beatboxer to date, because of the crisp sound, snappy beats and his unhumanly sound effects.

At one point of the show, I actually went crazy and started to play Jacko's "Smooth Criminal" riff, the crowd went crazy, we weren't any better. It was the climax of the show.

Ever since my last time playing with Akim (the LaMama theatrical run), I finally found a very balanced way of working with him. I sort of got his pacing of things, and I now know where and when I should play more or play less. I think that's why tonight's show totally rocked out!

Recording with Tony Sanchez

2008-02-17T23:53:00.000-08:00

Michelle gave me an SMS in the morning when I almost woke up, saying, "I think you will like the drummer."

OK, I thought, whatever. I trust her judgement.

So I packed up my shit, Brandon came pick me up, and we hit straight to Kampo Studios on Bond Street.

Found the place, got buzzed in, took the elevator up. Door opened, and we saw Michelle and this muscle guy sitting on the couch ---- Antonio Sanchez.

He's really cool, chilling with everybody else like he's just another person, doesn't act all diva and shit.

After a looooooooong setup, we finally hit. Man, this guy is so stable that everything he plays in the studio seems usable for a recording!

With him playing there and Yoshi laying down the bass in Mediterraneo, it felt like I suddenly know the tune for real! I always thought I knew the music better than anyone, but then there were still some uncertainty rhythmically. But once these two motherfuckers came in and play, everything was crystal clear and I actually understood how the music worked!

That was quite a session, I learned a lot...

Miles 2nd 5tet

2008-02-17T07:44:00.000-08:00

Goddamn!!!!!!!!!!

I got myself a whole box set of 6 CDs of Miles Davis' 2nd quintet!!!!!!!!

I played for Mike M's benefit show. Since it was a benefit, he couldn't pay us too much, so he decided to get us some CDs that we want from his friend who works in BMG, who has access to so many promotional copies (over 10,000 titles in the catalogue).

Mike said, "Go crazy, choose something you really like but too expensive to buy!"

Fuck yeah, so I chose Miles 2nd 5tet box set that I wanted for sooooo long. Then I asked Jules if he wants something, he chose Miles and Trane's complete Columbia sessions. I went back to Mike and asked him if I could get one more, he said sure go ahead! So that's how Jules got his new baby for free!

But hell, I didn't know when Mike said, "Go crazy", he really meant it. When I looked at Jesse's selections, I almost killed myself! Shit, that motherfucker got SOOO MANY BOX SETS!! Including AC/DC's complete box set, Clash, some Bob Dylan shit and some more I dunno what!

Bummer. Too late.

Pop sickness

2008-02-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

So... everybody is catching a cold... kinda cool... nobody is a social outcast, haha!

I'm also one of them...

So fuckin' tired... woke up one morning and totally felt like shit but still had to go for two gigs.

Now I'm not that tired, but starting to have bad sore throat and blocking nose --- GREAT!

Always feel the worst in the mornings when I'm having this kinda problem, phlegm and heavy coughing and shit...

ARRGHH!!!

Got this sickness from my colleagues in Westchester Chamber, thanks to them, I'm now not a social outcast. :)

DR LONNIE SMITH!!!

2008-01-31T22:30:00.000-08:00

Vox 4 played with Lonnie Smith in the studio today!!

Oh for those of you who don't know, Vox 4 is my new band, or if you wanna be more specific, it's a string quartet.

Haruka went to see him performing the other day, and talked to him. He said he wanted to listen to us, so we set up a session with him today and played for him.

He liked how we sounded and started to jam with us together with his drummer and guitarist.

Man, that cheese-fest by DBR that we played became great music all of a sudden!

Then he started to teach us some of his tunes and we picked it up by ears (he doesn't read and write music). We had a great time figuring out our own parts in the music, just improvising along, but you don't feel pointless or time-wasting when you do it ---- as sometimes bad execution of such method could lead to ultimate boredom --- you just... feel good! It made me recall what Justin DiCioccio always said to us in Mancini, "Playin' music's suppose to feel good!" True to the max.

Doc doesn't read or write music at all, but his mind is nothing less than a sophisticated composer. He hears everything in his head and he would tell you verbally what to do with your part. He also told us that using our pair of ears is actually even better than reading the charts, cuz you fully understand your part. I can totally relate to that because I am more an ear-user since young, than a music-reader, never really worked for me, even though I read pretty well in orchestras. (And maybe that's why I picked up jazz easier than most other peers)

Doc is funny as hell and such a wise old man. He would crack jokes anytime and make you laugh like a motherfucker. Like, he would point at his guitarist and tell us, "I don't like this guy, never did." And we started to laugh right? Then he said, "I say, when you don't like somebody, you just tell him straight," after a short pause, he said, "Cuz nobody will believe you anyway." Dude, we just laughed harder!

He's like a grown up kid, having fun all the time, with every little thing around him, even more so with his organ. Damn he would just shred like a motherfucker on the keys so intensely, but you could only see him smiling and singing along when he played. He never shows you how hard it is to command and instrument, because it is beside the point. He said, "Whatever you play, it should come out straight from your heart, otherwise, however many notes you play doesn't matter at all." He said he was impressed with our ability to pick up things with ears, especially we're classically trained string players. "You're usually told, 'Hey! You missed one note there!' But that's where exactly you start from and learn!" He said when the music comes out from your heart, what does it matter if you missed a note?

Then he started to show us lots of shit on his organ, crazy shit that we hear from his recordings and videos. But he said, that's just what he felt right then, not something mathematical nor intellectual. He also told us some stories of how he started and his first gigs with George Benson.

I tell you, this guy knows more about life and music than anyone.

He wants to see us again before he went back to Florida on the 19th. I guess we'll set up two more sessions with him.

Speaking of Florida, he said we can go down to his place there anytime we want and play all day and relax. Oh Lonnie!

See who's got da room??!!

2008-01-31T00:34:00.000-08:00

I called the landlord this morning, he told me JULES CAN STAY IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

good for u Jules!!!

by the way... I bought a set of speakers for my PC today, Altec Lansing VS2421, damn fuckin' nice sound man!! It only costs me 54 bucks about 10 bucks more than Nick's double speaker set of the same brand (mine got woofer!!)

so... tomorrow Vox 4 will be playing for Lonnie Smith, the Hammond B3 legend...

see what happens...

the group is still in its infancy, and still too much classical sound in there from some of the members... have to work... I hope Seth would pick up some solid bass playing on his cello instead of just some flamboyant and flashy technique. Cuz without the basics, it doesn't matter however fancy your playing is.

Well, I hope if one of you guys bumped into my blog, you won't take offense reading these comments, no ill intentions. By the way... can we not play them DBR pieces anymore? they're real cheesy...

My gig with Mike M...

2008-01-27T23:02:00.000-08:00

so i did my shit with Mike again...

ok lah... i liked the first gig better...

i mean... i dunno, maybe because Jesse wasn't there...

i mean, Mike's a good songwriter lah, but his guitar playing (not to mention singing) kinda sucks...

i tried to use a loop station in one of his songs also, that's for the first time i use it in my life. the guitarist let me used his newly purchased looping gear, didn't work so well in the beginning, but afterwards it got alright, almost reaching my expectation...

whatever lah, a gig is a gig! :P

Outside Heath Ledger's apartment

2008-01-23T23:00:00.000-08:00

No, I'm no fan of Heath Ledger's.

But I happened to walk by his street and saw a whole bunch of TV station cars parking on the roadside. So I went over out of curiosity, and saw a bunch of people surrounding a news reporter from Channel 7 from Australia that was doing a real time announcement.

His photo was on the wall besides the building door, with a huge Aussie national flag below.

28... just 28...

What would a person dream of when he is 28?

A career? He had quite a great one. A kid or two? He had one.

Damn...

R.I.P.

(guess I have to watch Brokeback Mountain now, haha!)

Waiting for Jules

2008-01-16T21:52:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here in the living right now, 12:54am, just finished watching a DVD.

It's a fairly new film by Luc Besson, called Angel-A.

So my buddy Jules is comin' and I'm so very excited. I still remember the crazy laughter we had that lasted for 3 hours non-stop. I can't believe that I'm getting it soon ---- HERE IN NEW YORK!

Yeah, man, I'm sure he's as excited as me, maybe not because of the laughter (he carries it like a disease anyway), but because of New York and Jazz.

Yes Jules, when you're reading this, you're already in my pad, probably ready to go out for some sightseeing or ready to crash. Whatever it is, I assure you, it will be an exciting new life for you --- learning new things, meeting new people, and who knows? Maybe get a chick or something.

And all you homies out there who are reading this, please don't worry, the fat ass is in good hands, I won't torture him. I don't ask for much you know? Cooking a three-course meal for me everyday and cleaning my room up before 12pm everyday should be good...

JULES YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!! GET HERE SAFE AND WE WILL ROCK DA TOWN!!!!!!!!!!

Keakhirannya...?

2008-01-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

Hari terakhirnya di Bandaraya New York

Di suatu warung kopi

Bertemulah mereka

Entah bila cinta memenuhi hati

Tapi hanyalah dari seorang

Gadis hanya nak jadi kawan

Sampai hari ini lagi laki-laki tidak faham

Ah, kisah apa lagi?

Cerita ini sudah tamat

Jadi berpeluklah mereka di stesen keretapi

Nyanyian si bujang bukan merdu

Tapi jelas terdengar si gadis

"Biar musim sejuk, musim bunga, musim panas atau musim luruh
Telefon lah saja kalau nak
Aku akan berada di sana untukmu
Kawanlah aku untukmu"

Termerah mata si gadis

Ia memeluk si bujang sekali lagi

Sambil mencium bibirnya

Sampai sinilah ceritanya si bujang

Tiada apa-apa lagi

(p/s: shit, my Malay sucks!!!)

I Am Legend

2008-01-01T09:23:00.000-08:00

The last man on earth was walking on the empty streets of Times Square...

He remembered that fateful day of the final evacutation...

Cops were everywhere, ready to action...

Just kidding... Happy New Year...

灰暗

2007-12-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

也许是在这个城市住久了的关系，觉得自己越变越黑暗。

可以感觉自己平时脸上是没有笑容的，尤其是自己一个人静静坐在地铁上的时候。

有时候觉得自己脸上木无表情，或者眼神充满怨恨，对很多事情的绝望。不管原因是什么，我心中的癫狂很波澜却是难以掩饰得住的。

自从她回来过后见到她那么多次，虽然自己感觉很深，却不断地觉得自己是个白痴。到现在她还是有所保留，这一点我自己非常清楚，我还需要浪费时间等吗？还是要一直坚定地不屈不挠？

是不是人生每一件事情都是一场赌注？如果是的话，在赌注里面有没有办法识别哪个是比较有信心的投注？

我的心非常灰，眼神非常昏暗。

真想这一晚一醉到天亮...

Christmas/New Year...

2007-12-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

yes...

christmas...new year...hanukkah...

all the same season...almost back to back...

what have i achieved this year nigga?

oh, i went home twice this year, one time for my chinese new year since i came to yankeeland, and another time is my first time people flew me back home to perform...

i played multiple times in malaysian jazz clubs, having my own show, which was something that i dreamt of...

managed to survive the cruel summer, though it's by escaping home...

managed to get my artist visa...

managed to play with some of the best jazz musicians...

getting joget jazz together with nicholas my buddy...

but...

where's the girl part?

i dunno...

hey AM, u listening to me?

i'm calling out for you!

i know you don't hear me, but i will keep on calling!

merry christmas and happy new year...

That old man in the movie theatre...

2007-12-21T01:24:00.000-08:00

Show's over, lights were on...

He yelled at me from behind, "Where do you play? Are you in school or performing?"

Told him I'm a freelancer and I play everywhere.

He said, "I'm a keyboard player, that's why I asked,"

"You a union member?"

No.

"It's tough isn't it?"

Yes, but it's alright.

"The best part is there are only 4000 of us and 1000 jobs for all of us."

The challenege is the fun part though.

"Not until you're 60."

I saw his bags and untidy feature, realised he was a homeless.

"Enjoy your challenege all you want for now, but you'll see what would happen to you when you're my age."

Yeah, thank you very much.

Like an action thriller...

2007-12-17T05:38:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the life of freelancing does not only involve yourself but other people too. It involves people around you as well.

For example: You will need to make full use of your own network of friends and people when you're in seriously urgent needs.

I took a last minute gig the other day to play for a church on Sunday (yesterday) and was supposed to rush over to Bitter End to play a singer/songwriter gig.

To my horror, in the last half hour before I left my house to go to 74 St station to meet up my contact person Leo, I found out that I had to take a 7.34pm train to go to Grand Central after the gig and I had to spend 1 and a half hours on the train which is just UNACCEPTABLE!

Now what?

I started to call my housemate Chen Han, who happened to be in Flushing hanging with his buddy that time. "Dude uh...can you come back right now?"

He said, "W..what's goin' on??"

I went, "I need you to sub for me right now."

So he actually took the first subway train he could catch to rush back home. I could actually see him running outside the window. I went downstairs to open the doors for him, and he ran up and changed his clothes without even closing his door (kinda funny). Grabbed his violin and music stand and ran downstairs to the subway station.

I said, "I will give you the contact's number but now run! I will call you on the train!"

So he did, and I gave him Leo's number while he's on the subway.

Finally after a while, he called back, saying that "I'm in."

Damn, everything happened in less than 30 minutes. It's so fast it felt like an action thriller!

6am

2007-12-09T03:09:00.000-08:00

Finally got home from Akim's gig...

It was a crazy party in a loft. It's divided into three sections with different vibe in each of them. We played in the main space, a DJ took over us after we were done playing 45 minutes. Mostly improv tonight, except the last song. It was fun.

I guess I'm luckier than most of my friends who spend their whole time digging dead composers' graves, cuz I get to see crazy shit like this in a regular basis. But of course, what other people would have privilege to have, I don't have, eg. a relationship.

It was kinda drizzling outside, I was walking alone, a gentle flow of alcohol still in my veins.

Walking down from the train station, Colombian vendors have already started selling milk with rice. A new day is dawning, and I just got home.

在这么一个平静的清晨，我又开始在想她了。

想知道她睡得好不好。

想知道她有没有做梦。做的什么梦。梦里有誰。有没有我...

6am, I'm still awake on my bed...

How to be a "Master"? (viva Brad Mehldau)

2007-11-30T21:16:00.001-08:00

"The ever shorter and shorter life span of each trend perpetuates a sentiment that's characteristic of some of our jazz critics these days: a fetishistic obsession with "Masters." To be a Master you must do one or more of the following: A.) Imply, with the help of Yes-Men, that you are nothing short of a Messiah; B.) Rise from prolonged, unexplainable obscurity; C.) Have a good portion of your work recorded before 1965; D.) Die."

--- Brad Mehlday
line notes to Elegiac Cycle

South Park... yes...

2007-11-29T22:37:00.000-08:00

Ladies and fellas, yes...I know... I promised in my last blog that I will post some pictures of South Park "tomorrow", but it's been delayed and delayed again because of weather and of course, my schedule.

So now, here we go... a picture... and a video...

So what have I been doing...?

2007-11-25T17:08:00.001-08:00

I'm not in New York now, some of my friends would know it.

I'm in South Park, and I'm not kidding. I AM in South Park, in Morgantown, West Virginia. OK, if you don't believe me, I will take a picture tomorrow and show you.

I came here to play with my buddy Yew Choong, who has a severe hearing problem. When he's wearing a hearing aid, he still has to look at your lips so that he could figure out what you're talking about. Which means, he could hear your voice, but couldn't hear your diction.

And yet, this chap is finishing up his DMA and piano performance here. He won my utmost respect. So I agreed to play for him right after he asked me.

We chose one of the hardest of all piano literature --- Cesar Franck's Sonata for Violin and Piano.

We've been practising many times now. And in the same time, non-stop makan (eating) with our fellow Malaysians who study here --- this place is full of Malaysians (and also Indonesians and Thais...and...not to mention, Koreans [di mana-mana pun ada]).

Morgantown is a peaceful little town where you don't really have much to do. The "downtown" here is small it's so cute. A very sleepy place --- just the place for a New York person like me to calm down and recharge my energy.

Oh, nearly forgot to mention! Yew Choong and I played badminton yesterday!

That was a short game, but we had great fun.

It's pretty easy to satisfy a Malaysian huh? Food + badminton. Haha...

To All The Hipocrites in the World...

2007-11-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

If you wanna say "shoot"
Say "shit"
If you wanna say "gosh"
Say "God"
If you wanna say "freak"
Just say "fuck"

What is so hard?

You mean the same anyway.

Intention is the essence.

If you don't intend to curse, don't say it altogether.

"Shoot", "F", "Freak", "Gosh"...

What the fuck?

Say "Shit"... Say "Fuck"... Say "God"!

Finally...

2007-11-16T20:39:00.000-08:00

Finally...something that I find very interesting to write about and it motivates me to move my fingers.

See, I've been working on this stupid work by this composer from the Midwest.

There's ONE particular part that's sooooo difficult and didn't sound good AT ALL. It's a whole bunch of triplets in semiquaver (16th Notes to some of you) for four fucking pages.

We're so mad that we decided to burn the motherfucking piece after we played it.

And guess what? We did it! :)

Pictures provided... See below...

"Be The Best!"

2007-10-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

One day I was transferring from the E train to the D train at the 7th Avenue station.

As I walked down the stairs, I heard this sick drumming underneath.

A black guy was burning it below the staircase, sweating like mad, people were bobbing their heads and smiling while he plays, dollar bills kept on adding up in the tip bucket.

The B train came, the crowd went off, leaving behind waiting for my D train. The drummer finally stopped and checked his tip bucket.

"I wanna stop, but they won't let me!" he talked to me.

I said, "Cuz you bad man."

"I know!" he replied with full confidence.

So I asked him, "So where else do you play man?"

He said, "Oh, let's see... Miami Beach, South Carolina, Philadelphia..." he named a few big places. I looked at him, obviously with a ray disbelief. He then told me, "I tour around with Anita Baker man, you know her?"

I was thinking to myself, "No fuckin' way!", answering, "Yeah of course! Wow!"

Then he said, "Yeah man, I'm not those little subway musicians, this is my practice session, ah (I) been doin' this for 8 years or so now, practicing in the subway."

So I asked him if he plays around the City a lot, he said, "Nah man, I don't play no small clubs man. Payin' me 300 bucks and wantin' me to play 5 hours man? That's ridiculous! I get the same rate touring working less hours!" Then he looked at my violin on my back, "So what do you play? A trumpet?"

I said, "No, it's a violin." Right then, D train arrived at the station, so I said bye to him and walked over to the train.

He said, "Whatever it is (you play), practice! Be the best!"

I turned my head back and answered, "OK man! Will do!"

He yelled once again before the train doors closed, "BE THE BEST!"

好大的一把槍!

2007-10-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

他拿著手提袋, 在街上又驚恐又歡喜的亂逛.

都怪自己多手! 要不然就不會這樣了?

到底是怎樣呢?

趙沙在路邊無意中看到一個被棄置的手提袋, 好奇心的驅使下把它打開, 沒想裡面裝的不是錢不是毒品不是性玩具, 竟然是好大一把手槍! 當時他還真不知道到底要大叫還是大笑, 即興奮又焦急.

一把槍, 能夠做甚麼用呢?

槍的用途本來就不廣, 不是傷人就是殺人.

有了一把槍, 能夠做甚麼呢?

傷人, 要傷誰? 殺人, 又要殺誰呢?

他就這樣子胡思亂想著, 不停在街上亂鑽.

他打算讓自己冷靜下來, 便撥了個電話給小美, 一個他心儀了很久的女孩. 對方似乎也對他挺有興趣, 常常會接受他的邀請一起出去吃飯看電影. 每當跟她在一起, 心裡總是特別的踏實. 他打算去找她聊聊天, 也決定不把槍的事情告訴她.

在小美家的客廳裡, 他邊啜著咖啡邊跟小美東聊西聊, 雖然不著邊際可是卻還是很平靜.

"今晚一起吃個晚飯嗎?" 趙沙想了很就問道.

"嗯...不了...今天蠻累的...哪兒都不想去..."

"哦..." 他也不再說甚麼.

約一個小時後, 趙沙踏出了小美的公寓門口. 這時在門外迎面來了一個洋人, 他也不以為意, 繼續往前走. 只聽見身後洋人在按某家門鈴, 然後是開門聲, 然後是女孩的聲音說道:"Hi...I've been waiting for so long...where have you been?"

是小美的聲音.

趙沙掉回頭, 看到他們手拉著手進了公寓, 關上了門. 他走近小美的門口, 依稀聽到放浪的調笑聲.

目露兇光.

他按了按門鈴.

小美大概過了一分鐘才過來開門, 非常肯定他們不是普通關係.

小美見到是趙沙, 神情呆了一下:"阿沙,有...有甚麼事嗎? 我在忙著呢..."

趙沙心裡冷笑了一下, 你們當然忙得很! 嘴上卻說:"忘了些東西要拿."

小美問:"忘了甚麼? 我來幫你找找."

"不用了, 我自己來, 你忙你的."

"嗯...還是我來找吧, 現在不大方便---"

不等小美解釋完, 趙沙已經挨身進了公寓裡.

"Mei! What is it? Who's there?" 洋人在房裡面問.

趙沙隨聲跟了進去, 小美在跟後面不知如何是好. 只見洋人光了上身只剩下內褲坐在床上.

趙沙又氣又恨又是傷心, 袋子一打開就把槍亮出了來. 沒等洋人反應過來, 子彈已經穿過他喉嚨, 想叫也叫不出來了, 只聽到喉嚨的彈孔中發出"呵...呵...呵..."的漏氣聲.

小美哪裡還趕多等? 轉了身子就跑.

砰! 又是一槍, 子彈穿過她的如雲秀髮, 正中她後腦, 當下撲倒在地, 只有手腳輕輕在抽動.

洋人痛得直在房裡跌跌撞撞, 弄得牆上,床上,地上, 全是鮮血, 雙眼圓睜, 表情可怖, 趙沙看了心裡也直發毛. 定了定神, 他往洋人私處又開了一槍. 洋人痛得想大叫卻叫不出來, 只能夠在地上舞動手腳拼命掙扎.

趙沙不想再看下去, 把槍指到他額頭上補了一槍. 洋人終於靜了下來.

開了四槍, 鄰人哪有聽不見之理? 趙沙急急忙忙的離開了公寓, 逃了個不知去向.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

日本人有一個說法, 說如果讓一個人看到鑄造極為精美的日本武士刀, 他會萌起用刀殺人的念頭.

對趙沙來說, 這個說法的並不止於日本刀. 他自認為這把槍找到了存在的意義與價值, 認為自己是這把槍的伯樂.

他發現槍後的一個月裡面, 城裡發生了快十宗的女郎被射殺案件.

當然, 這正是這把槍目前存在的意義.

這些女孩曾經都把自己給拒絕了, 而且男友都是洋人.

犯案特徵如此明顯, 自然就是警方求之不得的事情.

這一天, 他站在某公寓走廊上, 望著站在另一頭用槍指著他叫他把槍放下的警察. 他剛又殺了一個女孩.

警察說甚麼他似乎沒有聽到, 或許是不感興趣. 因為他下一秒已經把警察給解決了, 然後想爬窗往外逃.

不爬可能沒事. 當他兩手抓牢窗外的水管時, 只聽到七層樓下面有人用擴音筒對他叫到:"事情已經完了! 乖乖下來就擒吧!"

趙沙冷笑了一下, 一隻手把槍對著地面狂開. 地面的警察亂成一團.

正當他享受那陣快感的時候...只覺得頭頂像被雷電轟到一樣, 狂震了一下... 接著眼前一片模糊, 流到口裡的, 原來是血...

他抬頭一看, 原來是剛才被自己打中的警察沒死, 從窗戶裡往他頭上開了一槍.

他就這樣飄到地面上, 悶响聲中, 腦花四濺. 趙沙全身骨骼都碎了, 可是手上還緊緊握著槍. 聽說醫院的人費盡了力氣怎麼扳也扳不開他的手指, 之後只好把連人帶槍葬了.

一把槍, 能做甚麼呢?

槍的用途不廣, 不外是傷人或殺人.

你有一把槍的話你會用來幹甚麼呢?

如果對方有槍的話, 你說, 他又會用它來做甚麼呢?

俑

2007-10-11T23:39:00.000-07:00

我一個人在街上穿梭, 大雨亂灑在人擠人的街道上.

這裡是狹窄髒亂吵鬧冷漠的紐約市, 我每天奔走在這麼一個空間裡 --- 有時候是為了看一場電影或演奏, 更常是奔跑於排練之間.

有時候覺得自己是個會行走的俑, 每日面無表情的坐在地鐵上, 雙眼呆滯的望向前方, 不管時間有多緊迫都一樣.

人與人之間的距離, 形體上很近, 心靈上卻很遠.

有人問我, 為甚麼我那麼難找到一個人在身邊. 我想, 這並不由得我, 更不是說要找一個她就會有. 被拒絕幾乎成了慣性動作, 那種被拒絕時類似被人掌了一嘴的感覺也不記得了.

於是不讓人拒絕我成了一種習慣. 方法就是先拒絕別人, 不再上前去認識人 --- 反正人家也不會主動來認識你, 何必自討沒趣? 認識的話也就打個招呼了事, 因為幾乎可以預言如果深一層認識的下場.

這樣反而少了心傷的機率, 同時心也安定了下來.

當然, 這樣不免把我開始變成一個會走路的俑. 每天穿梭在人群之間, 自走自的路, 沒有人注意你, 你也不注意別人.

當看到讓自己心動的人, 就預先告訴自己判斷錯誤, 要不就說服自己她早有對象(而每次也確實是這樣).

俑, 只有自己的世界, 別人看到的只不過是呆呆的一尊泥塑, 背後的故事沒有人會多費心思去考究. 沒用的東西, 不小心被砸爛了也不會改變甚麼.

Heavyweights...

2007-10-07T01:14:00.000-07:00

Now I really dunno what I did to deserve this session.

I was called by Randy Brecker's wife, Ada Rovatti to do a reading session on Saturday. The call was made on Friday.

Of course, I was panicked like fuck. Why? Because the name of the players in the band freaked me out.

Janek Gwizdala on bass. George Colligan on keyboard.

OK, I have to confess that I didn't know who George was, until Chris Howes told me how much he would love to do that session (he wasn't free) because George was playing. And yeah, he's really a motherfucker. And I just googled him...fuck...I can't finish counting all them great players he's playing with! Buster Williams, Mingus Dynasty, Mingus Big Band, Miguel Zenon, Gene Jackson, Ralph Alessi, Christian McBride, Billy Hart, Don Byron.......not to mention that he's also a drummer...

Janek Gwizdala, I saw him with Mike Stern, subbing for Richard Bona, who didn't show up last minute. Janek was having Indian food when Mike called him up and asked him if he could get over to 55 Bar "now" to play. No wonder I remember seeing him eating some spicy kinda food on the way into the bar! Just, you remember too right? Hehe... Although it was last minute, he sounded like he rehearsed the shit before. Damn...

Goddamn man...today is definitely a day to remember...

New York....Mosquitoes...

2007-10-04T02:24:00.000-07:00

Just as I thought I hardly see any mosquitoes in New York...

I WAS BADLY BITTEN BY ONE FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!!!!!!!

I went to bed at 1.39am and thought I could get my much needed sleep for the rehearsal in New Jersey the next morning. I woke up scratching all over my arms and legs, wonder where the fuck is that little prick that stung me so bad.

I finally found that motherfucker but couldn't kill it!!

GRRR!!!!!!!

Now I'm sitting in my housemate's room, with strong cooling aircond.

The time... 5.27am...

The Magic of Richard Bona

2007-10-03T10:13:00.001-07:00

Wow...

Wow...

Wow...

Enough is enough!

2007-09-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

Wow... I don't think I've ever worked with such pathetic musicians and singers!!

Can't sing, can't play.

I rehearsed with the singers and thought they (especially the guy on guitar) were bad enough, shit... the BASSIST!!! Oh my fuckin' God, and I found out DURING the gig!!

Well, not exactly a gig.

They said it's a tryout, so they can't pay me anything, but I can have free beers.

Hearing all the kinda crap they were doing on the bandstand, with the bassist playing every single bass note wrong, I thought "enough is enough!!".

In the end of the set, the flutist asked me if I will play with them again, I said, "I will think about it." He replied, "Doesn't sound promising". Hell yeah, it doesn't.

And the leader guy (singer, guitarist) asked me if I wanted a beer, I said, "No I gotta go."

Damn, I don't even bother to have the fuckin' beer!! I just wanna get out of the shit hole, and so I did.

None of that shit again!!

I met a Malaysian in UC Berkeley

2007-09-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

Audition's over, I went to play badminton with Mads, since he's from Denmark, a badminton kingdom too.

After the badminton and some racket ball, we went into the locker room to stretch out, and that was then...I saw an Asian guy walking in with the t-shirt that days "Jus Do It Lah".

It looks like a Nike shirt but it has a lot of caricatures on it and the "just" was spelled as "jus", without a T. Right then I knew what that was leading to.

I went straight up to that guy and asked him, "Excuse me, may I know where you got that t-shirt?"

He was like, "Well...I'm a Malaysian..."

JUMP START!! MANGLISH!!

So it appeared that he was from Bandar Utama and has moved here since he was 13.

Then Mads came over and I told him what's the deal. So Mads was like, "Manglish? So is it something like what the Singaporeans say 'Why you so like that?'"

We said yes, but you have to add a "lah" too. HAHA...

Then this Bandar Utama dude started to say things about Manglish, like, "We talk in a more relax way than the Americans. Like in America, people would say 'John! You screwed up!' but in Malaysia it will be, 'Eh John ah, you screwed up lah...'". AHAHAHAHAA!!!

Then he said, "The thing with us Malaysians and Singaporeans is, we know we speak like that, and yet we think it's funny too, so we make fun of ourselves all the time as well."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

Quite an eye-opener eh, Mads?

If I leave this world by chance...

2007-09-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

Alright, flying off to San Francisco in 9/11 doesn't sound like such a good idea, but I AM doing it.

Thinking of it, if something happened to me if I died in this flight, I would be the luckiest corpse in the world.

Why?

Because I don't have much that I left behind to worry about.

I'm not married, I don't have kids, I have almost no money in my bank account, I have no house, no loans, no car, nothing. What I have are my parents and my sister, the 3 most important people in my life. And of course, you know some friends, like my bro Ken, my gugu brothers Nicholas and Kee Yong, my high school friends Albert and Chin Keong.

But, just in case some shit really happened to me, I wanna tell all these people that I love you guys, and don't worry about me because I'm leaving this world whole-heartedly. I have done some fun stuff with music, I have met great people, and I have met some pricks too. There's no regrets in my life.

To all you musician motherfuckers in Malaysia, please keep on fighting the good fight! Do NOT go against the system, but do NOT tolerate either!

Fuck yeah bitches! If you see me back in one piece without winning the audition, it's fine. Life goes on. But if you don't see me coming back, just tell yourselves that I'm still here, it's just that I'm too busy to call or e-mail anybody.

Washington DC

2007-09-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

The trip to Washington DC was a quick one, but nonetheless a fun one.

We took off from Chinatown at 6pm and arrived there at 11 something. I was staying in the same room with Aaron Shragge the trumpet and shakuhachi player. He's cool, looks like a zen monk with that bald head that he shaves frequently and he does raga with his voice, trumpet, and shakuhachi whenever he has time.

Oh he's a vegan too.

We went to 7-11 after we arrived to look for some food and went to bed after we bought the stuff.

The sleep was brief as we musicians had to wake up at 7am. Aaron woke up at god-knows-when and was starting to do his raga, so naturally he was the one who woke me up.

We went to Kennedy Center that's located next to Watergate. The stage people were pretty nice to us, and since we stepped in, we had a 10-hour day. That was one of my looooooooongest day in my life. Sound check, lighting check, position check, rehearsal, all ran simultaneously. Yuki did some beautiful job on the backdrop behind us, bravo for that!

We were almost dead when we got back to the hotel, but we didn't just stop there. Aaron went out to have Ethiopian dinner with Akim (the Funk Buddha), Akiko (the Funky Geisha), Kai-Ti (road manager), Rain (the video camera guy), Kak Miranti (Balinese dancer), Peter (laptop DJ), and Myla (dancer cum Akim's lady). As for me, Hypno (aka Tommy Chan, my Chinese comrade who does body-popping) called me up to chill in his room with Baba (Israel, MC and beatboxer).

We watched some stuff on the TV and on his laptop too. Apparently his laptop is connected to his home TV cable box, so he could ACTUALLY WATCH HIS SUBSCRIBED CHANNELS in his hotel room, pretty sick ain't it? We watched some Reno 911 too, which made us laugh our asses off.

Later I went on to Peter's room (after they came back) to chill with them, had a few hits which didn't do anything to me, talked some shit, had a cultural interaction with Akiko, see Akim stressing out...etc...

The next day was the performance day, we didn't have to get to Kennedy Center until 11am. So it was quite a relieve for us (why the hell do you think we can chill so long in the previous night, hm?!).

We played two shows, which was extremely well-received. Both shows were full (well, of course, it's partly because it's free...). Akim, Aaron, Angela (aerialist) and Anasma (bellydancer and body-popper) did a short strolling session outside the hall in between shows, too.

We had this really sweet and funny girl Jacqueline to be our caretaker, bringing us food and shit, running around to make sure we're fine. Later after our conversation, I got to know that she's an Indiana U grad who studied piano performance. She said she might move over to New York, having the urge to perform chamber music. I wish her good luck, and hope to see her in the City!

After our shows, Akim and Baba did a really fun (but too short) beatboxing workshop. They taught people the fundamental idea of how to beatbox and it was fun. They even invited all the audiences to dance together, there were a couple of 2-yr-old tiny kids who joined in too, it's soooo funny and yet so cute!

I was planning to stay on for the night and leave the next day. But it seemed like nobody wanted to stay long in DC, most people wanted to leave. I figured I wouldn't have time to visit places in DC the next day anyway, since the bus leaves at 11.50am. So I gave up and followed most people to go back to NYC.

All-in-all, this was a fun experience and definitely a memorable one. This is the first time ever I get to play in such a classy place like this without playing classical music. I hope more will come! And I certainly hope they will come soon...

Mark Feldman vs. Mat Maneri

2007-09-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, they were playing together.

Two giants ---- monsters, if you will ---- shredding on the same stage.

I was almost late because of my rehearsal in Queens. When I rushed into the door, Okkyung Lee was the door person, I couldn't believe it! Haha! Kee Yong was waiting for me right there, and he (and Nicholas) paid for me. Thanks a bunch guys!

Mark and Mat started off with some beautiful dissonants and counter melodies. You can hear them complementing each other, sometimes one would be on top doing the "solo" and the other would be the background. Weaving through waves of sonority, they would occassionally land on a steady groove and start rocking some sick lines.

They played two "tunes" for the set (I dunno how to call it, it's free improv anyway), if not including the encore. Each "tune" was 30 minutes, but you wouldn't feel bored because there are different stuff coming out every time.

Mark has the same old licks that he's been using for the past few decades, but that's Mark, you can't steal that away from him. I feel that his playing is more about the fiery tone and vibrato of his instead of new ideas. But it's cool, like I said, Mark is Mark. As long as it sounds good.

As for Mat, it's all about new ideas and the coolness of his sound. He never likes to play too loud or too much, in oppose to Mark's playing. If Mark is a ball of fire, then Mat is the iceberg. Why do I say iceberg? Because his ideas are so rich that it's like they're all sample of a big iceberg.

So for the whole hour, Mark was shredding his trademark licks, while Mat swam in between his notes with constant new ideas, creating different sounds.

For the encore, Mark started blowing his crazy fast-and-furious lines for sometime while Mat was watching. When he felt it was time, Mat entered, overlapping Mark's, and Mark slowly died down and let Mat shred. Mat blew in full force for about 5 minutes, without any other complements from Mark. It was beautiful...

One thing to complain though, The Stone was hot like hell last night, because they didn't dare to switch the aircond, so that the acoustic sounds of violin and viola would not be interrupted. Everybody was sweating like mad, not to mention the performers!

Anyway, I met Brian Lindgren there in the Stone! We knew each other in Mancini '05, and it was sooo surprising that he came to see the show. I was surprised to know that he actually just arrived the same day and we bumped into each other! I hope his freelancing life in New York will be rewarding and musically satisfying. Good luck Brian!

My noisy room...

2007-09-04T07:19:00.000-07:00

My room has 6 windows, it's very bright, I like it... wait... that was during the cold winter. Try now --- hot days. I opened some of my windows to get the air circulating, holy shit... you hear the aircond noise from the Trade Fair supermarket right next to my house, you hear electric drill on the left from a house that is being renovated, you hear cars honking like mad on the streets (and mind you, this happens in sleeping time too), garbage truck roaring, car alarms, people shouting and laughing and yelling outside...

It's noisy!!!!

But seriously, everywhere in New York is noisy, you hardly find peace in this city.

So cursin' is the only solution I have left. At least you let out your feelings.

So if you can't bear with my swear words, I'm sorry, it's your problem. :) But don't mean no bad intention.

My Burning Desire

2007-09-02T23:04:00.000-07:00

Ahh yes...

I started to go to see shows again... of course, I only pick those that I can afford...

My burning desire for music is rising again...

I was in QC the other day and I saw this Uzbek percussionist giving masterclass for the percussion cats. Damn, his playing is PERFECT and so moving!! I was utterly amazed by that shit, and it gave me the thrill once again ------ the kind of musical thrill that I had when I first got to New York.

It's coming back again...

I feel that I wanna do some shit... Some shit that will temporarilysatisfy my endless thirst and desire for music...

Here I come motherfuckers, I'm back!!

Devillish Angel

2007-08-27T15:47:00.000-07:00

Such an adorable creature
Dark eyes
Silky hair
Brownish skin
Beautiful smile
A smile with blood dripping down
Down to the chin
Chin to the breast

She's gonna suck you dry
Out of your neck
Hard breathing
Soft hissing

She's gonna keep you high
Over your body
Gentle touching
Wet licking

If you see her first time
She's the most angelic
If you see her twice
She makes your heart ache
If you see her third time
Protect her you'd want to

But careful gentlemen
She's the blood sucking
Eye-deceiving
Devillish Angel

Are Chinese all gangsters in America?

2007-08-26T05:14:00.000-07:00

Eh budak-budak Holiwud! Apa pasal kamu smua ni?

You think all the Chinese are kungfu fighters and are gangsters or triad members is it?

Blardy hell!

Tengok lah "War", oh my God!!!! Such a bad movie with such a bad message --- revenge. The starting of the movie was ALL about underground night club and naked women in a yakuza district --- yeah I know, they're Japanese, but you get what I mean. Then Jet Li started to kill his victims with every saddistic way possible.

Jet, I thought you're into Buddhism these days and like, REALLLYYY into it? You don't seem like it. You're sending out bad messages to the audiences. Revenge revenge and bloodshed, is this the message you wanna send out to your audiences? Gosh man, I dunno what the hell you're doing in Hollywood! Go back to Hong Kong!!

But it's OK, I can live without your shitty Hollywood films. I also watched Bourne Supremacy. Now THAT'S what I call a great movie!

Well of course, Hollywood is still the one to be blamed, stereotyping Chinese and other Asians. Like you white people have no gangs and triads. Shit...

Constantly misunderstood

2007-08-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

Thinking back in my life, my friends from primary, middle, and high school, never really understood ---- or still don't ---- how my life is like. All the more, many of them misunderstood what I do.

Most people would say, "Yeah man, so nice, you study music, so 'senang', no need to study like mad like us! Just play some music and have fun every day."

Now I'm wondering if it's just me or it really is ---- they kinda sounded sarcastic.

What they meant was "you musicians suck at life".

And there was this chick whom I used to like, told me something like this, "I need a man who knows what to do when there's a trouble, for example, when my tyre is flat, he should be able to change it; when I dunno how to pay taxes, he should know how... not a musician."

Eh, hold on a sec... How the hell do you know I dunno all these things? GAWD-DAYUMMM!!

Some would be too nice to me, "You mah good loh~~ Can do what you like and earn so much money!"

Analysis: do what I like? Correct. Earn so much money? How do you know? You think every musician plays in MPO?

The business people would say, "Aiyoooo, you dun understand one lah!! For us, networking is number one! Without networking, there's no business!"

Hello? Do you think music is not a kind of business? Where did you get that idea from? And how the fuck do you know I don't network? I network EVERYDAY!!

Then the ones who went into science or maths field, they'd say, "We go by logic and theory one, not like you only go by feeling and emotion."

Understatement: You're lame, don't think things with reason.

For these kinda people, I would REALLY, I mean REALLYYYY like to ask them to come study the theory of music. See how logical we can be, and how our theory teachers can be cold-blooded assholes like theirs. And I can also say to them, "You're lame, you only have logic, no emotions."

For you who do not understand my job, stop shitting on us and be humble and ask us about it ----- though you'd probably ending up not understanding it still! And for those of you who know a bit of it, please explore more before you drop a statement.

Oh, and for those of you who don't bother to try to understand us, please fuck off. No time for you. (yes... musicians are busy and hardworking people)

Susan Sarah John's new gamelan piece...

2007-08-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

Malaysian composer and arranger, Susan Sarah John, is working on a new piece for Hands Percussion Team, a Chinese-Malaysian percussion group that combines all sorts of percussion instruments from different cultures in the world.

This piece uses Javanese gamelan set, 3 Chinese lion dance drums, a drum set, and an electric guitar.

I had the privilege to watch the rehearsal tonight, and I thought it was a beautiful piece.

The guitarist is my friend, Gideon Aluba, a wonderful self-taught musician whom I worked with a couple of years ago. He played some beautiful sound in there, sometimes reminds me of Steve Reich's Electric Counterpoint, because he was playing over the minimalistic and rhythmic gamelan.

Sarah retuned the gamelan set to make it diatonic, it sounded just fine!

I hope to see the real performance, but of course, I won't be here...

Happy 10 years old Hands!!!

Ikon ASEAN 2007

2007-08-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

I just came back from playing for the LIVE TV Broadcast of Astro Ria's Ikon ASEAN singing competition.

First of all I have to say I was really really happy with the result. The 4 judges were each from Malaysia (Mac Chew), Indonesia, Phillipines, and Singapore ---- doesn't seem to have much room for shouting "Malaysia Boleh" does it?

Yeah at first I thought this would be just another "Malaysia Boleh" kinda competition --- held in Malaysia, get most of the attendance from Malaysian fans, Malaysian contenstants get cheered at the most, and all awards won by Malaysians (or at least one).

It turned out that it didn't happen that way, which is a good slap in the face for the local contestants.

Let's first talk about the local contestants.

Jaclyn Victor (solo category). She has the technique of singing R&B-ish twist-and-turn lines and ad libs, but she doesn't have the voice and doesn't know how to sing properly either. Also, her choice of repertoire was quite weak, especially the P. Ramlee Medley, nothing could be shown much. With this adding up with her singing that was lacking of emotional depth, it was a failure.

OAG (band category). Bunch of monkeys jumping and stomping on the stage, rolling on the floor, spinning round and round, pitches perfectly out-of-tune, and expect people to buy that this is rock music ... or worse, music. These guys should really go home and revalue their lives living in a dream, thinking that they're the shit and they're already there. A bunch of try-too-hard wannabes, sorry to say.

Indonesia had two representatives too. Can't say they're very good, but the solo singer, Judika, did a pretty good job. The band, Tahta, was just another Malay-rock kinda band. They have the potential, but they should stretch out more.

Finally, the Pinoys! Yes the Phillipinos are awesome. During the rehearsal, I could already sort of tell that they're the winners --- provided that there are no Malaysia-Boleh fetish involved.

The band, KJWAN, kicked off the competition with their song, "Invitation". That was some crazy ass tight shit man! Once I heard the sound, I KNEW this will be the ones who are winning if I were the judges. They really look like great performers, the singer was cool, everybody seemed to be serious about making the music work. Unlike the stupid monkeys jumping around, acting rebellious and shit, thinking that they're inheriting Kurt Cobain's bottle of piss. Tight ensemble, powerful sound, refined technique (the drummer has the kinda touch that I love!), great stage presentation (doesn't mean you have to be like monkey). They're great.

Then it was Vina Morales, the beautiful actress/singer. Damn, was she good! She captured my attention from the first note to the last (despite of her smiling at me during rehearsals, haha!). She has that depth in her voice and phrasing that Jac really didn't have. Yes, maybe her ability to sing like a black mama was not as good as Jac, but technique is not everything. Jac's singing, though flashy at times, didn't touch my heart. But Vina's did. She conquered the judges with music, not technique, that is just so much more important. But of course, she's born with a beautiful voice too.

All in all, I was very happy with the result of the competition, and I thought that the judges made justice to the Pinoys. And I do hope that the Malaysian contestants would get a lesson from this: Being famous in Malaysia is just a beginning, only seriously making music --- with your hard work and heart work --- will make you the real deal, not by posing and syok sendiri on the stage. The four judges taught us a lesson without saying a word, bravo!

End of ranting, my dear Malaysians, 好自为之吧!

2nd Night with the ExperiMENTAL Quartet

2007-08-05T10:37:00.001-07:00

The set list was basically the same as the first night.

We kicked off with Manda's Mood, my tune for Amanda. Then "14th Street, St. Nicholas", a tune inspired by my walk with Nicholas in his last night in New York. Then Herbie's Watermelon Man, which we didn't rehearse but came out well. Then it's "In Case A Goodbye" I wrote for Wendy, Julian did a great job on the soprano saxophone!! Finally, we ended the first set with Bored of Bb by Justin, which was the last song in the second set on the first night.

Eugene and his gang came in half way while we were playing Watermelon Man. They said they liked the gig a lot! Li Tinh said she likes "In Case a Goodbye", wahaha! Yeah I like it a lot too, maybe that's my best ballad yet. :P

2nd set started off with "Take The A Train", which we didn't play the originally melody from beginning till the end, only hinting the song by having Justin playing the piano intro somewhere in the middle. The whole song was just improvised over the changes. And when we asked if the audience know what song it is, we didn't accept the answer "Take the A Train", we said "Take the KTM"!

Then we played Justin's Consequently, and his untitled new tune (which we temporarily called it "Justin's New Shit"). After that we played Not 3 Not 4, also by Justin, which sounded so different from our duo and trio version. It's fuller and Eddie added some 1920's humour with his wawa mute.

We closed up with "Days of Guns n' Roses". People were shouting and cheering like mad in that one, haha! Just like a rock concert.

3rd set started of with "A Few Words with JaC", which documented one of my most idiotic moments in my life. It was a duo with Justin, and I think we both played our hearts out in that one. Then Julian and Eddie came back and we played "One Flight Back to Bolehland", my hymn to my beloved country, the "Bolehland" Malaysia. The phasing part was better than the night before.

Then we did "It's... It's Not Funny", our tribute to Ornette Coleman, title inspired by Ken's super funny story. We were stretching wayyyyy wayyyy out tonight, and it was more animated and funny this time. Could it be because we found a title for it? ;)

Finally, we did "Days of Guns n' Roses" once again, because David finally showed up and we wanted him to hear it, also wanted to record it. It sounded better than the one we did in 2nd set.

Quite a night, I have to say!

I surely hope we can do more shit like this, seeing that the audiences actually liked it!!

The ExperiMENTAL Quartet

2007-08-03T23:44:00.000-07:00

Had my first show with the ExperiMENTAL Quartet last night in The Top Room, KL.

That was a fun gig, never seen such a great reaction from the crowd doing THIS kinda music.

What kinda music?

You see... we played everything from standards to originals to rock to free jazz to experimental...

I don't suppose KL has ever seen something like this from local musicians.

Our line-up is totally weird too. We do not have drums and bass, only a piano, a violin, a sax and a trumpet.

We were a little worried about the instrumentation at first, but we later sorted it out without thinking too much. The bass is already in the piano, so why worry?

So we focused more on collective improvisation and harmonising and complementing on each other's parts. It worked out perfectly.

Our saxophonist Julian's motto is "I don't give a shit".

We held on to that and did as we feel like on the stage, mixing spontaneity with pre-rehearsed arrangements. We did some funny stuff like playing Take The A Train without playing the head at all --- they know what it is anyway! We also played "The Days of Guns n' Roses".

Yes, you read me right, "The Days of GUNS N' ROSES".

We fused "Sweet Child O' Mine" with Mancini's Days of Wine and Roses. We ended our first set with that. I could see people's faces changing every time we twist the music into another one. That was fun.

We also did free jazz, based on a 3-phrased melody. We stretched out really far and I felt that our souls were transported to somewhere else.

That was a great night! I hope tonight till be a great one too.

My sudden KLIA trip

2007-07-31T00:09:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't do no one-night-stand.

No, I didn't even drink.

But I went to KLIA. That's a fact.

I met Julian in Top Room and he said he was going to pick up Chee Meng and his colleagues from LCC Terminal. But then all of a sudden, he said, "Oh shit! I didn't realise that I can't fit 4 people in my little Satria!" So I thought I had a car, why not, I'll go help out!

then we 2 motherfuckers, at 11pm, went to Kajang to have a drink and met up with Ken for a short while, and went straight to KLIA!

Seldom in my life that I do such an impromptu trip --- to a place THAT far away.

I spent some money though. The bloody tolls, dammit! And I used up half a tank of petrol!

I got back home at 4am... and god damn... my mom woke up at the same time...

"Why come home so late?"

"Why spend unnecessary money?!"

"No, don't want you to buy the petrol, you've got enough spending to take care of!"

Well... but I felt happy that I did something fun though... :P

The Price of Having Balls

2007-07-18T21:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to pay the price to have balls to say the truth. I truly respect this guy's balls, and if he gets into jail for this shit, man I'm tellin' you it's worth it because he caused some impact in the society.

Stupid laws about rearranging the national anthem should not stop a man's love to his own country and pointing out the real problem of the society. Furthermore, they SHOULDN'T call that an "arrangement with bad intention", because all I see in the video is the man's concern about his own society and the determination to let people see the problem ---- people who REALLY should know their own problems.

If the government tries to distract the public by focusing on the arrangement of national anthem, then they're trying to avoid the real problem and rotting direction we are heading.

A few years back, a local composer composed a beautiful piece that contains the national anthem in it for the grand opening of the Malaysian Philharmonic. His piece got banned right after the first performance. A beautiful symphonic piece with our national anthem resonating within. It's a piece that expresses the composer's love to his own country, and what's wrong with that? Do you call that "arrangement with bad intention" too? Why do you ban it?

There is NO clear guideline in this law and the authorities is simply using it as they like to stabilise their own political power. Dirty!

http://www.sinchew-i.com/article.phtml?artid=200707183196&data=scnews&spid=38359

New CDs...

2007-07-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

One funny thing about local pirated audio CDs (local as in Malaysia) is that they like to put in some "bonus tracks" after all the "real" tracks of that particular album.

The other night I went to the pasar malam near my house all 3 for 10 ringgit.

I got Linkin Park's newest album, "Minutes to Midnight". It's a new sound for this band, no more DJ-ing and less rapping. They focus on live sound this time. The band is tight, but the overall effect isn't too exciting. Good try, can be better though.

Next is the new album by Audioslave, "Revelation". Very typical Audioslave sound, always enjoying the special guitar solo sound in the band. It's interesting to listen to this ex-Rage Against the Machine band making a whole different sound that still works at its own rights.

Finally a Chinese album from Taiwan by A-Yue (張震嶽), "OK". Yeah, very typical sound by him, but not as naughty as before. His way of writing lyrics is really unrefined, but I guess that's already become his style --- so that it sounds like improvising. Guess he's one of the few people in the Chinese scene that's really "playing" music and having "fun" with it.

Don't you hipocrites scold me for buying pirated! I just wanna test the music out before I want to buy the real shit. If it's not good, why the fuck do I need to buy the real thing?

And to you people who release the albums, if you want people to buy your shit, you better convince people to buy the real thing by making great music so that people feel worth it!

DONE!!!!!!!!

2007-07-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

So, yes, it's over, the show in KLPac is over...

It was a full house, plus 30 extra seats...

People applauded and yelled like crazy...

Uncle and aunty Teoh was here... :)

Aunty Teoh said she was touched by "One for Wendy, In Case a Goodbye" --- both by the title and the song.

Sherwin was moved by "A Few Words with JaC"...

All of them are my chick songs...haha...

But I'm really glad that KLPac invited me for this shit, really appreciate it!

And Justin, Joseph, both of you motherfuckers, thanks for making my show happening! You're the best!!

The Much Awaited Day...

2007-07-11T18:26:00.001-07:00

July 12... today...

I remember I was first approached by Marge earlier this year, asking me to do a concerto appearance with KLPac Sinfonietta in KLPac's HSBC String Festival.

I agreed without thinking twice, as it has always been my dream to be invited back home someday and be recognised by my own people. And so the time has come.

The programme was later changed because, after knowing that I play other music too, they want more variety added into the festival. They asked me to do a jazz show.

I told them I will have Justin on the piano and Joseph on the bass --- the two most amazing musicians I've ever known in KL. And I'm very glad that both of them agreed without hesitation.

So I figured that since this is something new, we should play something new too! So Justin and me started to write some new music, preparing to play an all-original programme.

Show's tonight, let's see what damage we can do!

Ponty

2007-07-02T14:32:00.000-07:00

I suddenly realised that I've never documented my Ponty experience, which I should.

This guy is like 60+ but he still plays so perfectly, gosh, I don't believe it!

His playing is not as explosive as when he was younger, but nevertheless, he still sounds fantastic.

Not really into the kind of music he is playing now though, too much funk stuff. I mean I'm cool with funk, but I can't stand a whole night of it. But I kinda expected that he wasn't going to play shit that I'm really into, but I felt that I should be that because he's one my heroes, and I want to see how he uses his bow --- he told me that he is still practising Sevcik and Paganini every day now.

Now THAT'S impressive.

I could totally see the influence of those exercises when he plays. He's got an almost perfect bowstroke on everything he wants to play, the left hand and right hand coordination was completely flawless. Also, when he did all the alternating bowings, he never seem to have lost his time feel ---- everything was still in the pocket.

Fuck yeah...

Tried to meet him at the end of the concert, but of course, couldn't.

I wanted to thank him in person, for accepting my e-mail interviews when I was doing my undergraduate final paper.

Just in case you're reading this Jean-Luc, thank you!

My visa shit...

2007-06-30T08:34:00.000-07:00

I dunno why would this happen.

I told her that I am supposed to get the visa before July 5. She just didn't get it.

Now I dunno what is going to happen to me.

Hope I'm not fucked.

...

Damn...

.38

2007-06-26T17:15:00.000-07:00

"You better stop," he told himself, "this is totally not worth it! Not at all!"

Maybe she meant a lot to him, more than himself, but he doesn't worth anything to her.

Plus, she already had someone.

He logged on to his Friendster, he's not among her top friends, same thing happened in Facebook -- after all these that he had done to her.

He began to wonder why.

Girls are hard to understand, he told himself.

Is that really so?

Night. He was scratching his head, sipping his beer, getting dizzier and dizzier. He looked at himself in the mirror. All of a sudden, he thought he was the ugliest and weakest motherfucker on earth.

There went the bottle.

The mirror smashed, but his hands just got started to punched the remaining pieces on the frame. Blood splattering. Fists painted in crimson.

He panted like a beasts, twisted open another bottle cover, kissed the bottle for a sip.

* * * * * *

She gave Frank a deep stamp on the lips.

"Don't worry baby," she told him, "however well he treated me, you're still the only one for me."

* * * * * *

His fists stopped bleeding, his eyes closed, his chests still rising and falling for more oxygen.

"You better stop man," he told himself, "you don't mean shit to her. You better stop NOW..."

Tears flowing.

Last drops of beer dripping.

All he wished is he had a .38. Yes, .38 is enough. Enough to finish himself.

A Tribute to Leroy Jenkins

2007-06-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

The death of a legend is a loss.

But in the same time, it indicates the starting of a test --- a test that would ultimately show how persistent is one's work through time, how long does it sustain.

For Leroy Jenkins' case, his test just started.

However, nobody can deny his influence towards all of us improvising string players. As I wrote in the Leroy Jenkins guestbook: Thanks for bringing us OUT of the box ----- WAYYYY out of the box!

The piece was "New York" by Jenkins.

The size of the ensemble, approximately 40 string players. (50 is not true if you look at it in a glance)

I was lucky enough to be invited to play in this event and play with great musicians like Reggie Workman, Ken Filiano, Mark Feldman, Jason Kao Hwang, Ron Lawrence, Mark Chung, etc.

Billy Bang was the director.

During the rehearsal, a guy came over to my stand and asked me, "Can I share with you?"

I looked up, it was Mark Feldman.

Crazy shit, haha! (Jules, u know what I mean...)

Yeah so we stood together and play, even in the concert too.

Jing Wen came, I was really happy, made my day.

Also met some other people I know, very very random... Guess Leroy Jenkins will pass his test after all. :P

Blue In Green

2007-06-21T20:35:00.000-07:00

Back to NY...

Was listening to Miles Davis' Blue in Green, got me emo... whenever I hear it, I get emo...

It's a whole different life now, I feel.

My lil sister moved in, have a little feeling of responsibility to look after, which I think is a good thing. I've been all by myself a little too long, like a leaf that floats on water, drifing everywhere without a direction.

At least now I have someone to relate to, and someone who would share her thoughts and talk to me...

Met Kee Yong and his family today, he's got a cute and lively daughter, his wife is very nice too. Beautiful little family.

Also met Nicholas again just now, brought lil sis and Kee Yong together.

I will say bye bye to this place again in two weeks... strange feeling...

Someone say I'm a "flying man", well, for these two months, maybe I am...

Night time now... ready to get a beer and sleep...

Madison, Wisconsin -- La Salle-Peru, IIlinois

2007-06-19T00:45:00.000-07:00

It's almost the end of my trip, so I think I should write down bits and pieces of experience I had here.

It's been a wonderful trip, I have to say, mainly because of the superb hospitality that Chien and Jenny provided for me in Madison. The host family in Illinois, Jim and Chris Coughlin were also great hosts that gave us a lot of convenience.

I had so much fun in Madison, not because there were much to do here, simply because it's so relaxing here. Had so much time spent with Ka Ming, one of the nicest chaps and budding violin virtuoso.

Chien brought me to his favourite acitivity: Fishing.

That the first time in my life fishing for real, it was fun! And Chien told me that I learned very fast.

So I went to shore fishing, fly fishing, and boat fishing. We might go to cat fishing, because he wants me to take a picture with a big fish before I go home.

If Madison is relaxing, then La Salle-Peru, Illinois, would totally stop human evolution.

It's almos an all-white town, u hardly see one Asian there. People are very nice and also conservative and religious.

The Maud Powell Music Festival was alright. My job was basically playing in the pit orchestra and also playing in the institute orchestra, helping the kids to play in an ensemble.

I found good food in Peru: Grilled chicken with Bourbon sauce from Mike's Place!

I'm not exaggerating, that was one of the best chicken I ever. Anybody that tried it would be hooked by it!

In the festival, my improvisational skill came to use, when Dr David Becker, our conductor found out that I can improvise and asked me to improvise in the encore piece, Hoedown. It's a country song, and I had to play bluegrass style!! Oh my fuckin' God, I failed an audition in New York before because I couldn't really play bluegrass,and now I'm asked to play it IN FRONT of a bunch of MIDWESTERNERS?!!

I took it anyway, and it turned out well.

Also, the man-in-charge of Powell Festival, Dr Kevin McMahon, also asked me to fill in for a group that cancelled their performance in the final day outdoor performance. I wrote two very simple tunes to play with bassist Dave. I used all the gimmicks I know, like bow chops and electric guitar sound, because I know people here have never even heard of jazz violin.

It was effective! They loved it and wondered how the hell can I do all those sound.

Funny thing was I played right after the great violinist, Rachel Barton. Later she asked me how did I learn all those things... I didn't know how to answer her, hehe...

Chien's Quote of the Day

2007-06-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

"You must learn to fake, my son."

--- Goh Chia-Chien

*Chien made this comment after he found out that his student couldn't play with the ensemble and looked dumb. So he told him he used to get paid 50,000 bucks a year to fake professionally.

Cliche

2007-06-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

It is true

It is the end of the story

And also a continuation of mine

Or rather

A repitition

It is nothing but a joke

So are my stories

Done at last!!

2007-06-06T10:55:00.001-07:00

At last...this is the last words I will type inside the bathroom studio. No more...

First thing in the morning after I woke up (except brushing my teeth) was recording the "A natural" version of the "Road to Fang Fang" cue.

Fuck you Ken. Fuck you very much.

But I'm glad that it's done!!!

48K 16-bit... bullshit...

I'm going back to real music-making.

48K 16-Bit

2007-06-05T01:33:00.001-07:00

Why the fuck do you movie people use this sample format anyway? Pisses me off!!

Luckily I figured a (very mafan/troublesome) way to do it!!

Otherwise your movie is fucked!!

My ultra-simple home studio

2007-06-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

No, it's not in my home.

It's in my friend's place in Madison, Wisconsin. Oh yeah, that's where I am right now.

Nope, it's not in a garage or anything like that.

It's in a bathroom in the basement.

Don't laugh, it's true. It's the only most quiet place in the house.

The equipment:

My stupid DELL laptop that has a flashing screen
A pair of Creative speakers that I got from Chien
An MD mic
A pair of headphones/earphones (at first it was headphones, but I later found a pair of earphones from Jenny, Chien's wife)

That's it?! Yes. That's it.

So now what? Record of course!

So my buddy Ka Ming and me started to get stuck in the room for a looooooong time.

It's much harder than recording in a studio. It's fucking frustrating because we're under equipped! Not like some big equipments but we're just under equipped of a headphone splitters.

So Ka Ming had to listen to the headphones while I follow his cues. You know how frustrating it is and how many times we fucked up?!!!

Gosh...

We have to play every part by our own, overdubbing and overdubbing until we could remember every single part!!

We don't have a cellist yet, she's coming in on Tuesday.

Wish me luck...

Oh by the way, what's the project?

Giovanni Chen's 30-minute short "The Wait"
Music by Ken Hor (aka Ken Whore)
The cue is "Closing Theme", calling for a string orchestra without doublebass
Cues to come: Road to Fang Fang, scored for solo violin and piano
Fang Fang Opening, scored for string orchestra without doublebass

Dammit... I wish this will be over soon...

The Use of Midi Strings

2007-06-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I never liked the sound of Midi strings in recordings. It's so fake, artificial, plastic, emotionless...

I would go all the way to oppose the usage of it in any recordings!

One exception though: If you are in a place where you can't find string players that play in tune.

Sometimes when you talk about the genuine sound of live strings, you tend to forget to consider the realistic problem. Do you want the real sound but out of tune, or a fake sound, but in tune?

Personally I would go for the one in tune. Fake strings, though fake as it is, intonation will still be there; as for out-of-tune real strings,what for we need them if it bugs our ears?

So, if it's in Hollywood, yeah, fuck Midi! We go for the real shit.

But if it's not in a very musically inclined part of the world, hm...think again.

Doubts Beyond Sense

2007-05-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

And there he came back
From his useless worries
Doubts beyond sense

It wasn't coincidence
It happened for a reason
And it taught him great lessons
Lessons of patience
Patience in waiting

Outreach

2007-05-30T02:49:00.000-07:00

And so he reached out his hand
Trying to touch another dimension
That he couldn't smell or hear
Seems like stupidity
But for him, makes the most sense
He believed
He trusted
And he wondered
Wondering if trance would help
Or cross-dimension capsule would
Perhaps the electrical wire would do?
Or simply the cable would send him there?
To see her
Once and for all

My Most Indecisive Time in My Life

2007-05-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

Yup, it's now...

I'm nervous and afraid...

Is it really like what it seems?

Am I thinking too much?

I think I'm crazy...

Maybe she doesn't mean that at all, and I'm just imagining things...

It always happens...

Never did making such a big sacrifice for something like this...

Wish me luck...

LIRR's Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration

2007-05-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

I was pleasantly surprised by the call I got a few weeks ago from Long Island Rail Road, asking me to play for their Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration.

Today was the gig, I woke up pretty early in the morning, which was quite surprising, then I rushed to the Woodside Station to catch the train to LIRR's Hillside Maintenance side. LIRR provided the tickets to me!

My performance was after a talk by Harendra Sirisenda, a Sri Lankan scholar.

Funny shit was, the announcer pronunced my name as "Choi". WTF?!

Even funnier thing was, once he introduced me, he told the audiences to start having their food! Haha!

OK, so I was kind of an entertainer there. But hey, I get good money, why not?

So, whole-heartedly, I started my first piece, which was an untitled spontaneous improvisation. Some people actually sat down and listened to it, and clapped after I was done. Nice. So I continued finishing my programme by playing "Night at the Fishermen's Boat" and "Joy of Spring" --- two Chinese tunes that I can never forget in my life, as I've played it soooooo many times! Hehe...

Anyway, that's my gig today, not bad... Was fun, pressureless.

hm...

2007-05-22T23:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder, if I were to have someone in my life, what would it be like?

Does she have to be a musician?

Let's say if she is a musician and is also a much badder motherfucker? How would I respond to it?

I always thought that I would be ashamed of myself for not being compatible to her, until Pete gave me a good slap in the face today.

He said, "Dude, this ain't fuckin' 15th century! Who gives a shit if your girl is badder than u? If she is, you should be proud of her. See?"

Wise words from Pete, but it is indeed very simple. I know this logic deep inside, but maybe I forgot to apply it to myself.

Then some shit that I told the UPM kids popped into my mind.

I told them, "You are what you are and nobody will snatch it away from you. There's always some quality that you have, people don't have. So when you see people better than you, you don't have to be afraid or lose your self esteem, because they might be jealous of your quality that they could never have --- while you don't even realize!"

I said this shit. And now I forgot about it! Ha!

The Man up there created us differently, but I believe that different people has different functions (or "purpose" like some religious people would call it) in this world. If we don't think that we are useless and start fully utilizing our very unique quality, we will serve that function. Thus nobody's ability and talent should be over-praised nor to be looked down at.

I was rehearsing in One World Symphony today, playing Shostakovich's Symphony No.10, had some fun, though it was still a little sloppy in some parts. As I was playing, I felt such rush and contentment inside that I was sort of inspired.

It wasn't the first time I had that feeling while playing, but this time it opens my thoughts up, and made me understood that why my concern was pure nonsense, as well as why Pete called me a "cock" when I told him about it.

Cuz I guess when you reach that state of mind while playing, you wouldn't even worry if your other half is Janine Jensen or Julia Fischer!