Chien's Quote of the Day

"You must learn to fake, my son."

--- Goh Chia-Chien


*Chien made this comment after he found out that his student couldn't play with the ensemble and looked dumb. So he told him he used to get paid 50,000 bucks a year to fake professionally.

Cliche

It is true

It is the end of the story

And also a continuation of mine

Or rather

A repitition

It is nothing but a joke

So are my stories

Done at last!!

At last...this is the last words I will type inside the bathroom studio. No more...

First thing in the morning after I woke up (except brushing my teeth) was recording the "A natural" version of the "Road to Fang Fang" cue.

Fuck you Ken. Fuck you very much.

But I'm glad that it's done!!!

48K 16-bit... bullshit...

I'm going back to real music-making.

48K 16-Bit

Why the fuck do you movie people use this sample format anyway? Pisses me off!!

Luckily I figured a (very mafan/troublesome) way to do it!!

Otherwise your movie is fucked!!

My ultra-simple home studio

No, it's not in my home.

It's in my friend's place in Madison, Wisconsin. Oh yeah, that's where I am right now.

Nope, it's not in a garage or anything like that.

It's in a bathroom in the basement.

Don't laugh, it's true. It's the only most quiet place in the house.

The equipment:

My stupid DELL laptop that has a flashing screen
A pair of Creative speakers that I got from Chien
An MD mic
A pair of headphones/earphones (at first it was headphones, but I later found a pair of earphones from Jenny, Chien's wife)

That's it?! Yes. That's it.

So now what? Record of course!

So my buddy Ka Ming and me started to get stuck in the room for a looooooong time.

It's much harder than recording in a studio. It's fucking frustrating because we're under equipped! Not like some big equipments but we're just under equipped of a headphone splitters.

So Ka Ming had to listen to the headphones while I follow his cues. You know how frustrating it is and how many times we fucked up?!!!

Gosh...

We have to play every part by our own, overdubbing and overdubbing until we could remember every single part!!

We don't have a cellist yet, she's coming in on Tuesday.

Wish me luck...

Oh by the way, what's the project?

Giovanni Chen's 30-minute short "The Wait"
Music by Ken Hor (aka Ken Whore)
The cue is "Closing Theme", calling for a string orchestra without doublebass
Cues to come: Road to Fang Fang, scored for solo violin and piano
Fang Fang Opening, scored for string orchestra without doublebass

Dammit... I wish this will be over soon...

The Use of Midi Strings

Seriously, I never liked the sound of Midi strings in recordings. It's so fake, artificial, plastic, emotionless...

I would go all the way to oppose the usage of it in any recordings!

One exception though: If you are in a place where you can't find string players that play in tune.

Sometimes when you talk about the genuine sound of live strings, you tend to forget to consider the realistic problem. Do you want the real sound but out of tune, or a fake sound, but in tune?

Personally I would go for the one in tune. Fake strings, though fake as it is, intonation will still be there; as for out-of-tune real strings,what for we need them if it bugs our ears?

So, if it's in Hollywood, yeah, fuck Midi! We go for the real shit.

But if it's not in a very musically inclined part of the world, hm...think again.

Doubts Beyond Sense

And there he came back
From his useless worries
Doubts beyond sense

It wasn't coincidence
It happened for a reason
And it taught him great lessons
Lessons of patience
Patience in waiting

Outreach

And so he reached out his hand
Trying to touch another dimension
That he couldn't smell or hear
Seems like stupidity
But for him, makes the most sense
He believed
He trusted
And he wondered
Wondering if trance would help
Or cross-dimension capsule would
Perhaps the electrical wire would do?
Or simply the cable would send him there?
To see her
Once and for all

My Most Indecisive Time in My Life

Yup, it's now...

I'm nervous and afraid...

Is it really like what it seems?

Am I thinking too much?

I think I'm crazy...

Maybe she doesn't mean that at all, and I'm just imagining things...

It always happens...

Never did making such a big sacrifice for something like this...

Wish me luck...

LIRR's Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration

I was pleasantly surprised by the call I got a few weeks ago from Long Island Rail Road, asking me to play for their Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration.

Today was the gig, I woke up pretty early in the morning, which was quite surprising, then I rushed to the Woodside Station to catch the train to LIRR's Hillside Maintenance side. LIRR provided the tickets to me!

My performance was after a talk by Harendra Sirisenda, a Sri Lankan scholar.

Funny shit was, the announcer pronunced my name as "Choi". WTF?!

Even funnier thing was, once he introduced me, he told the audiences to start having their food! Haha!

OK, so I was kind of an entertainer there. But hey, I get good money, why not?

So, whole-heartedly, I started my first piece, which was an untitled spontaneous improvisation. Some people actually sat down and listened to it, and clapped after I was done. Nice. So I continued finishing my programme by playing "Night at the Fishermen's Boat" and "Joy of Spring" --- two Chinese tunes that I can never forget in my life, as I've played it soooooo many times! Hehe...

Anyway, that's my gig today, not bad... Was fun, pressureless.

hm...

Sometimes I wonder, if I were to have someone in my life, what would it be like?

Does she have to be a musician?

Let's say if she is a musician and is also a much badder motherfucker? How would I respond to it?

I always thought that I would be ashamed of myself for not being compatible to her, until Pete gave me a good slap in the face today.

He said, "Dude, this ain't fuckin' 15th century! Who gives a shit if your girl is badder than u? If she is, you should be proud of her. See?"

Wise words from Pete, but it is indeed very simple. I know this logic deep inside, but maybe I forgot to apply it to myself.

Then some shit that I told the UPM kids popped into my mind.

I told them, "You are what you are and nobody will snatch it away from you. There's always some quality that you have, people don't have. So when you see people better than you, you don't have to be afraid or lose your self esteem, because they might be jealous of your quality that they could never have --- while you don't even realize!"

I said this shit. And now I forgot about it! Ha!

The Man up there created us differently, but I believe that different people has different functions (or "purpose" like some religious people would call it) in this world. If we don't think that we are useless and start fully utilizing our very unique quality, we will serve that function. Thus nobody's ability and talent should be over-praised nor to be looked down at.

I was rehearsing in One World Symphony today, playing Shostakovich's Symphony No.10, had some fun, though it was still a little sloppy in some parts. As I was playing, I felt such rush and contentment inside that I was sort of inspired.

It wasn't the first time I had that feeling while playing, but this time it opens my thoughts up, and made me understood that why my concern was pure nonsense, as well as why Pete called me a "cock" when I told him about it.

Cuz I guess when you reach that state of mind while playing, you wouldn't even worry if your other half is Janine Jensen or Julia Fischer!

What Have I Become in New York?

Sometimes I'll ask myself: What have I become after I came to New York?

For that, I have to recall how I was before I came here.

Let's see...

I have already started to gig around in KL before I came here --- a freelance musician, if you will. So that was pretty much what I'm doing now. But I wasn't as good as knowing people and network as now, that's for sure.

I was loud and talkative back then, but never as loud to voice out what I think or ask for what I deserve.

Knowing these facts tells me that I'm already a totally different person now.

There are both sides of such characteristics: I've either turned into a friendly person who is brave enough to say what he thinks, or I've become a fake socializing ass and a demanding little bastard.

I'm usually pretty careful with not crossing the thin line to the negative side of it but sometimes I still did it subconsciously.

What else have I become? Hm...

I know that I don't talk as much back home, for I'm always home alone, doing my thing. I've becoming quiet most of the time, and dark... I see things differently, often negative and pessimistic... and I'm colder than before, I don't feel for many things as before, I would stand there and watch the changing of a certain situation or issue...

"What have I become?"

Whenever I ask myself this question, and when these answers popped up to me, the words of the wise old man started to resonate in my head once again, he said,

"This is a place where you get it, or you lose it."

MET MET MET MET~~

Bitch yeah I watched the MET!!!!!

Man, they're so great man, now I see why they're regarded as the best among the US orchestras!! NYPO is nowhere near that!

The ensemble, and the sound, it comes right into your face, unlike the Phil players, sitting there like working an office job, with no passion and intensity.

David Chan, the concertmaster, holy shit man, he's a motherfucker!! His tone is so round and big, and his technique is just flawless!! But the music he makes man, THAT'S the shit I'm talking about!!! I haven't seen a violinist like that on the stage for quite some time, it's even rare among soloists!

Levine's conducting was simple and clear. He never does big movements, but you know what he wanted ---- even from the back.

But of course, it takes a great orchestra to carry out the conductor's intention.

The orchestra's response to a bit was EXACTLY half a beat delay --- no matter what tempo Levine took. They followed him as tight as superglue!

The result of the delayed response, was the round and bubble-like sound.

Damn it was good!

GO MET!!! GO MET!!!

Ray Pizzi's quote of the day

"stop confusing with pertinent questions!"

Do I need a title for this?

It's 12:42pm

Moon is bright

Out to buy a bagel

Smell roti canai instead

Wind's cold

T-shirt, shorts and slippers are just nice

Life's hectic

Sit down and have a teh tarik

Lonely here

Furiosity there

Oh my one whole brain

Splitted mind in 2

New York

Kuala Lumpur

A Day of being a Tour Guide

Met up with HZ and her parents today, for the first time. HZ is 12 and very talented, hardworking, and smart. Very nicely brought-up too. Her parents are very cool ones, just like my own parents, they're not those "super-star" parents who want to make their child a prodigy ------- the reason I use the word "make" is because their children are simply not prodigies. They're very down-to-earth.

So I brought them to lunch, but they paid for me instead, thanking me for spending time with them...sigh... malulah, I just feel that I should do that and help my fellow countrymen as much as I can, no need any return lah...

But anyways, I led them to walk from 51 St to Lincoln Center ---- from the willingness to walk, I could tell that they're very sporting also, again, like my parents! Haha...

Then I brought them to see Juilliard, didn't plan to smuggle them into the building because I'm not a Juilliard student. But then, man oh man, ain't that a bitch? Mr. Etienne Charles appeared in front of me waving his hand!

Damn, was he nice! He took the initiative to ask HZ if she wants to take a look at the school, and then signed all of us in.

So he showed us the facilities they have and shit. Even I haven't really seen those things, having been to Juilliard a few times. Thanks to him, I got to see them!

During the visit, I met Zhou Tian in the computer lab, printing his music, obviously. Then we met Andrea, the Canadian cellist from HMI 2006, while waiting for the elevator! Funny thing is, Jeremy just mentioned about her the other day.

After the little Juilliard tour, I brought them to Kaufman Center for HZ's hour-long practice session. Man, one hour sounds pretty short to me, I hope she had enough time...

Then I brought them to walk around to see Times Square, then to Rockerfeller Center, then to St. Patrick's, until little HZ started to turn extremely tired and sleepy. Understandable, it's the jetlag. She's been pretty persistent in walking with us without making a noise, which I was pretty impressed.

So we went to Sapporo to eat ramen --- again, malunya~~ they paid for it again.

Then I sent them back to their hotel. At the entrance of the hotel, little HZ handed me a treble-clef-shaped Carnegie Hall pencil as a gift. She's such a sweetheart! Then she handed me another gift from Chong Lim. Man... u shouldn't have!! Anyway, I miss our movie sessions man, I will be back soon and make sure to hang out with you again!

x x x x

Then I went to watch Chris Potter, Miguel Zenon and Antonio Sanchez playing in 55 Bar.

What more can I say??

They're the definition of "badass mouthafuckas"!!!!

Not 6 though!

Wow, our first show ever wasn't having 6 audiences! There were more than 10 people in the choral room!

The prophecy has been destroyed!!

Good thing was, people dug our shit.

Our gig in Hope, too, went well. There weren't many people, but again, people dug our shit. And thanks to Akim, the atmosphere of the set was being stirred to the highest!

Thanks to Meesh and Brando --- my dear colleagues; and also thanks to my buddy Jeremy on the amazing cello playing! Special thanks to Francesca for providing us a thicker texture in Queens College!

Love you all~

What's up with the number "6"?

So there were 6 people in the audience.

What's up with that? There were also 6 people in the 169 Bar gig.

Does "6" hold some kind of a secret?

Maybe I should fulfilled the Devil's number "666" to get some more audiences?

So let's see if I get another 6 people for my next show, haha!

But who gives a fuck how many people came? Justin and me had great fun!! Goddammit, that's more important!!

Yeah man, we recorded that shit, wanna listen how it sounded like.

I'm glad that Nicholas was there, and another fellow Malaysian, Debbie, Just's girlfriend was there too. Always good to have Malaysians around! Too bad Kee Yong had to cancel the night before because he had interview to do.

Justin's piece "Not Three, Not Four" was really some shit, I can't stop singing it even till now (now that I'm drunk). Man, this guy's a motherfucker, he deserves wider recognition, seriously!!

I thought my pieces worked well too, except "Welcome Mr. Lim!!" which we both screwed up a bit, haha!!

We four Malaysians went to a Korean BBQ place after the show, we're happy and content.

Man, I wish to have the same kinda fun when I go home for KL PAC this July. Similar materials will be played.

Thanks Michelle for playing for us! Really appreciate it!! You sounded fantastic on my tunes, and thanks for liking my tunes! It's always wonderful to know that a great musician likes my shit.

Welcome Mr Lim!!

Don't be confused by the title, Justin has been in town since Tuesday. This title is just the title of a tune I wrote to "welcome" him.

Welcome indeed, it's hard for a pianist to play it. HAHA!

We're gonna perform today. I couldn't sleep anymore, too excited!!

OK, I need to copy a nice-looking "A Few Words with JaC".

Will be back later, after the show.

This Town

Jiyoun told me she has a crazy life here in the City.

"How so?" I asked. She couldn't answer. After a moment of thoughts, she replied, "I feel I'm getting old."

I said she's just a couple years older than me, why old?

She said not the age --- she feels old inside. She said time runs away so fast in this town, and so little is achieved.

I told her I have the same feeling, I can't really tell if I'm empty or lonely here. Can't be lonely right? I have so many friends here. But I've never felt content.

She agreed with me, she felt the same.

xxxxxxx

I met an old wise man in Brooklyn who lived here for more than 30 years.

I asked him what does he think of the City?

He gave me a simple yet deep answer, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."

xxxxxxx

We're both people from another place foreign to this town. We're here because we're searching for something.

After our conversation on the train, the wise man's words were ringing in my head, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."

...this is a place where you get it, or lose it.

Epilogue of a Daydream

He sat in front of the computer screen for two hours, doing nothing but waiting for her reply.

Yet she didn't.

She used to be enthusiastic since last week. She said hi herself once he popped up online, she talked a lot, laughed at his jokes, playing online games together.

She told him she was lonely, that she's tired waiting for the one she's been waiting for.

He happily accepted her invitation to her world.

He went online on time, tried to make her happy and cheer her up.

And now it's dead silence. Dead silence since 5 days ago.

He didn't understand what happened. Is she alright? Hm... since she's online, she shuold be OK, right?...

x x x x x x x

She typed in a few words and pressed "Enter".

On the white chat window it said, "Happy to see you back, baby! I miss you so much! Promise me you won't live me again!"

The reply was, "I never did, and I never will. I was just to busy, forgive me hon."

She smiled.

x x x x x x x

A nightmare shook him awake and he didn't remember what it was about.

The air was cold, the sky was very dark. Maybe a few stars and a pale moon.

The clock pointed at 4am.

He shut down the machine and went to bed with all question marks filling his chest.

Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra

I recently heard some news of the Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra.

Totally depressed.

They always say they need locals to be in it, but then? They tell you you're too young and shit.

Fuck that man!!

Why can't you let a local to be in the assistant principal position ---- one who happens to play so well, studied with Janos Starker and Joel Krosnick?!!

It's completely stupid!!!

Yeah right you want locals... you're bunch of racists you motherfuckers! TRAITORS if not racists!!

Oh, people played a great audition who got a full applause and you don't give her the job?!!

Is this how you treat your fellow countrymen?!!

God dammit!!

Let me tell you, Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra! I'm not gonna join you unless you change your attitude!! NOT IN MY FUCKIN' LIFE!!!!

被绑 Kidnapped

他悠悠醒转,眼皮外是一片昏暗,唯有烛光似的微微亮光在半空中摇摇晃晃，但因为刚睁开眼睛，所以还没对焦，不敢肯定是否真是烛光。

他相当镇定，一动不动的在思考到底是怎么回事。

他感觉到自己是直立的，可是脚底没有地面的触感 ---- 原来自己是凌空的。进而发觉自己双臂是往上吊的。过不久还全身感到一股寒意 ---- 原来衣服被人剥光了。

他想叫喊，可是这才知道自己嘴里不知道什么时候多了一颗鸭蛋大的球体，只听到喉咙里咕噜咕噜几声，就再也发不出什么声音了。

这时他眼睛已经慢慢适应了环境，开始东张西望。当然也看不到什么东西，就只看到摇曳的亮光原来是火把，不是烛光。同时也看到了自己四周是石砌的墙壁，连地面，面前的一小段不知往上通去哪里的梯级，都是方形大石块砌成的。

女孩不知道什么时候从梯级鬼魅似的移动下来，身上裹着白袍，配上她洁净且无一丝瑕疵的完美肌肤，丰厚诱人的红唇，以及海蓝蓝的一双眼睛，活像个古希腊女神。她手上握着一件由皮革包起来的东西，略呈棒形，却不知道是什么玩意儿。

看到这么美艳绝伦的女子，他反而害怕起来，心里在歇斯底里的狂叫，偏生嘴里只能发出“呜呜”两声，整个胸腔快裂开似的。

女孩噗哧一笑，娇滴滴的道：“你呀，就是这么胆小，人家跟你玩玩你也怕成这个样子！”说着竟顺手在他左脸上抽了一记耳光，脸上还是那可爱的笑容。

这耳光还真不是开玩笑的，他脸上马上红肿了起来。糟的是他要喊痛也没有机会，只有眼泪直冒的份儿。

女孩竟怜惜地道: “哎哟哎哟,哭啦?对不起宝贝，我可是用最小的力气了呢！我平时可以打得更狠呢，像这样！”话音未落，又是一记耳光扫在他右颊上。这一次可真痛到他心扉里面去了，脸上还温温的流了一道鲜血。

他又气又恨，没来由的被凌空吊在这鬼地方，还被无端端的抽了两个耳光，可就是苦于不能放声大骂。

女孩又怜惜的说：“哎哟，还留血了啊？真没用呢！”语音中又带点调皮的气息，要不是在这种环境之下，他肯定会被她迷倒。

“你别以为我光会打你，我待你可好的呢！”说着她已走到一张他之前没有注意到的小桌子前，把皮卷轻轻放在桌上，哗啦的一声把它摊开。

他这一惊可是非同小可：皮卷里包的原来净是刀子啊，鞭子啊，还有许多不可名状的刑具跟武器！！

他额头直冒冷汗，呼吸急促且不稳定 ---- 他知道自己这一次完了。

还是叫不出来，可是喉咙比之前更加卖力的挤出一些令人听了胆颤心寒的怪声音，是那么悲戚绝望。

女孩说：“你到喊喊，不然会很不舒服的。”说着就走过来把他嘴里的球体拉开。

他不假思索的就大骂：“你这疯婊子！！你想干嘛？！！操你奶奶的雄啊！！！我操，你到底想把我怎样？！！”

女孩还是跟之前一样悠然自得的说：“哎哟，你嚷什么嚷啊？我说啊亲爱的，你要选哪一件来玩？”说着把双手对着桌子摊开。

“他妈的谁来跟你玩啊？！！！你快放我走！！！放我走啊！！！！！！要不然外面有人听到了我的求救声去叫警察的话，你自己也没戏唱了！！！”

女孩娇嗔道：“谁说人家会听到啦？这石墙可牢固呢！哎哟，你还是快快选自己喜欢的玩具啦！又是你自己说要玩的。”

“谁来跟你玩？！！！臭疯婆娘！！！”他这样说的当儿，她已经把一把像雕木头的用的刀子举了起来，一步一步驱近。

“你干嘛？！！你想干什么？！！你...！！”话还没说完，胸口一疼，接着小溪般的鲜血就开始冒出。那道痕少说也有七寸长。

他这回终于确定她是来真的了。绝望之下，叫骂声竟然变成了恳求声：“你干嘛要这样啊？？呜...呜...为什么就没来由的就把我抓来这种地方拿我来开玩笑啊？？求求你放了我吧！！大恩大德永生不忘啊！！”

女孩把白袍脱了，露出被黑皮条紧绑着的诱人美体。

他看得目瞪口呆 --- 这疯女人到底想怎样？！！

女子又拿起刀子，口里说道：“谁说我没来由了？是你自己说要玩的。我可是爱你爱得不得了哪，才带你来玩的。又是你自己说要我这样穿要我去买这些器具的。”

男人的头好像被重量级拳手重重敲了一下似的，有点晕眩：他终于知道事情的真相了！！

原来眼前这个自己完全不认识的女孩是自己在MSN上大概一个月前恶作剧的对象，说要跟她玩S/M。

看来是咎由自取了。

女孩又是一刀又是一鞭的，他只有凄厉惨叫跟挣扎的份。

她脸上现出了一个心满意足的微笑...

The End of the World

Sky, entirely orange, thickened by rolling clouds and grumbling thunder, with an eye of a spiral in the middle, ever spinning.

Earth, bare, dry, and liveless, not even a crow could be seen.

They seem so close together, the sky and the earth.

But when he appeared in between, one could see there were more space than one would imagine, under that visual condition. Thus, it puts a man to shame to see how tiny he was.

But that simply didn't mean anything now.

The end is near, and he was the last one.

No, he was not, his laptop was still alive.

He was stripped naked, dirt and dust all over his body. He felt hot and dry, thirst of water but didn't have a drop since 5 days ago. His only companion now was his laptop that for some reason was still alive without battery, and still online.

The girl on the other end might have been rotten or done pecking by hungry crows for days. That end should be a place called the United Kingdom or Britain, or some called it England, before the world fell apart.

He remember that the last thing she told him while having a casual conversation was "If the world comes to an end, I pray to God don't let me be the last one to die!" While he replied, "No, let me be the last one to die, cuz I have nothing, just a lonesome figure in the human world, waiting for his doom someday, it makes no difference whether I live longer or shorter."

This was a promise he sort of made for fun, not without his usual bitterness towards his own love life --- always falling in love with the wrong girls on the net.

But not so much later, he found out that there really was such thing as "God is listening to your prayer".

His wish was granted. Now he is walking alone, tired, weak, but still far away from death, with his laptop that has a chat window that connects to the other end that will never respond.

But once in a while, he would type in a few words and send it over to her. That's her only way of feeling like a human ---- that's what they said: Human needs companion.

He kept on walking on earth for about a week more, when he finally really really exhausted, and realised that the end is near for him. He collapsed.

His fingers were still noodling over the keyboard, his spelling was still precise even though his fingers were trembling.

Slowly and surely he typed.

"My our has come, my love. I feel proud to be the last human being to witness it all. I'm in pain, great pain. I'm hungry, thirsty, and tired. In fact I do not know what kept me alive till now. My skin is burning because of the heat of the ground I'm laying on now, it kills my nerves! But I still do not regret dying for you, my love. It is my greatest pleasure in my life. Goodbye, and hello..."

Enter.

And the battery went off.

Silence.

Darkness.

Bunch of CRAP!

There are a certain kind of people in this world, who are a bunch of motherfuckin' idiots and think that they are great and in high places and try to step on you like you're nothing more than an ant.

This kinda people exists everywhere in the world but sadly, they especially like to appear in a place that provides the best job one can have in my dear country.

They don't look at how good you are, or how capable one can be.

They look at how old you are.

Yes.

When you catch a big fish, you think you can catch a bigger one, and let it go just like that, doesn't that just mean you're fuckin' stupid?

I think so, personally.

I dunno why this kinda fucked up policy exists, and I also don't understand why that kinda people is running that place.

If they think they can save the day by trying to show how superior they are, they're wrong. They won't save the day, and instead, they will ruin themselves first for sure. Isn't that coming true nowadays?

See how many people would still wanna put up with your stuck up attitude and all that bullshit you give to people who come to admire your ass? If you don't wanna wake up, it's fine with me. But I wanna tell you that the dream is over, muthafucka!

Get over it!

CHONG KEE YONG IS IN TOWWWWNNNN~~~~!!!

OK, now I'm really excited!!

Why?!!

Because one of Malaysia's leading composers in HERE in NYC!!!

Yes, that's the guy who won so many MPO composers forum!!!

Chong Kee Yong is his name, or "Kee Yong Chong", like the stupid westerners call him usually.

He recently worked with Ensemble Modern ---- one of the best contemporary ensembles in Europe!! Now what more do I have to say how kick-ass he is?

Kee Yong gave me an email this morning, telling me that he already arrived, so I called him up. I hope we can work some shit out during his 6-month period here...

I'm meeting him up tomorrow to makan lunch!!

My upcoming gigs

I know, I seldom write to promote my own gigs, but this time it's different: It's really my gig.

So here we go:

Justin Lim Fang Yee, my old buddy since UPM, is coming over to New York to have some fun before he leaves the US. So I decided to put on a show with him on the 11th of May in Room 264 (Choral Room) in the Aaron Copland School of Music at Queens College. This is a piano and violin duo concert that also will be featuring our wonderful and nonetheless beautiful guest guitarist, Michelle Marie. Repertoire will be our own originals, you don't wanna miss out if you're around town! The time is 12pm, a little odd, but for freelancers, you might stand a chance to make it! :D

My band, the newly formed Project Taming Sari is going to do our debut recital less than one week after my show with Justin. This time, my crazy cellist brother Jeremy Harman is going to play with us throughout the gig. So it's Project Taming Sari overlapping the Evil Twin!! How sweet is that?? The date is May 16th, the time will be 8pm, also in Room 264, a.k.a. Choral Room, in ACSM, Queens College. Guest appearance: Francesca Han Jiyoun, my Korean "sidegirl" (as she called her position in my band,hehe...) We will be playing some of our original spacey jazz originals, as well as a couple of standards.

Uh uh, not so fast! If you can't make it to the 8pm set, don't worry, we will be waiting for you to show up at 11pm in Hope Lounge the same night! Hope Lounge is located in Williamsburg, the address is "10 Hope St. (Between Roebling and Havemeyer)". No cover (yay!!). Very cozy place, wonderful drinks. The music will be similar to the ones in Queens College, but Francesca won't be appearing in this set unfortunately, since they do not own a piano there. Don't worry, we will have Akim Funk Buddha to jam with us!!

Need anymore info? Drop me a comment and I will be sure to get back to you.

沉迷 Complete Obsession

他把电脑打开。 为的只是看着桌面上的照片。也许那是他每天觉得最幸福的事情。

他自认一无所有，能够得到安慰的就是从桌面上那张她的照片;尽管她是一个他完全没有见过的一个人 --- 他甚至可以假设这个人的不存在。

一早起来，不散步不做运动没关系，他享受那几秒钟的心跳加速，觉得那比任何费力的体操都有效。

他笑了，一副很满足的表情。

“今天下午再打开来看看...希望她在那一头也一样的在惦记着我，更希望下一次上网会再见到她!”他是这样告诉自己的。

然后他就关机了。

在世界的另一端，她松了口气 ---- 终于暂时不用下线状态了。


He started up his computer, only to look at the photo on his desktop background. Perhaps that's his happiest moment in a day.

He admitted that he's got nothing, and the only comfort he can get was from that photo of hers on his desktop; even though she is someone that he had never met --- he could even assume that not such person exists.

It's alright if he was not doing any exercise every morning, for him, he enjoyed that few seconds of accelerating heart pounding, which he thought as a more effective method than any kinds of exhausting physical exercise.

He smiled, his expression full of satisfactory.

"I'll open it up this afternoon and have a look again... I only hope she is missing me as much on her end, and also hope that she will miss me as much as I do!" thus he thought to himself.

Then he turned off his machine.

On the other side of the world, she sighed in relief ---- at last, a short moment that she could stay out of invisible mode.

"...and so she said goodbye"

He came out of the bar, sober. He was surprised that he didn't even have one beer.

He had a faint smile on his face, almost unnoticeable. But his heart was pounding hard --- so hard that it didn't feel good at all.

"Am I sad?" he thought to himself, "or am I happy?"

It's been two years now that he was struggling --- struggling over the choices between leaving or staying for her.

"Give him a chance," he remembered saying that to her,"maybe he's busy, try to talk to her. Don't give up so easily!" He knocked his own head while he said that to her. You idiot! What are you doing to yourself?

So she did give him a chance, and their love flourished.

And what about me? He thought.

He knew from the start that it is not going to happen, telling himself that he is just a good friend to her, and he wants to see her live happily.

10,000 miles apart! What can you expect from that?

So he decided to be her best friend, advice her when she needs help. He knew that he couldn't give her more comfort than those of words. If she needs a hug, she would have to get it from "him", not me, so I have to help them to get back together.

It's not that she didn't feel his strong feelings towards her, in fact she herself felt the same way when her relationship was in the bottom of the abyss. But then he helped her to stand up again, and pushed her to give it another shot.

3 hours ago she gave him a short message on the messenger, telling him that she signed the paper and tried the wedding gown. She thanked him for everything.

He was planning his European tour right then.

"It might be a good thing that it hasn't be planned out yet," he thought, not without a feeling of bitterness.

And so they parted, without ever meeting each other before.

It's the Zorn thing!

John Zorn's Marathon concert for his Schuman Award.

Yup.

In Miller Theater.

3 sets. 45 minutes each.

Nick and me were lucky enough to get standby tickets.

1st set, Masada String Trio and Masada Rock. Fuck yeah... I was especially impressed by Erik Friedlander's awesome tone and creativity!

2nd set, his concert music. I missed the first piece for clarinet and bass clarinet. But the 2nd piece for piano, "Carny", is a schizophrenic yet lively work, even further brought to live by Stephen Drury. 3rd one was "Necronomicon", his 5-movement string quartet, performed by Jennifer Choi, Jesse Mills, Richard O'Neill and Fred Sherry. Very well performed.

3rd set, COBRA!! Fun fun fun... All-star cast: Cyro Baptista, Okkyung Lee, Mark Feldman, Erik Friedlander, Stephen Drury, Sylvie Courvoisier, Jamie Saft, Ikue Mori, etc. Zorn was the prompter. That shit was fun from beginning to the end.

One funny moment, when Nick and me came back from the intermission after the 1st set, Zorn took our seats...

My shittiest day ---- April 24, 2007

Yup, that's my shitties day, no kiddin'.

Woke up, got a letter from MF, saying that he had to back out writing a recom for my artist visa... sigh...

Then in the afternoon I saw my other roommate, whom I met once, a chick from TW. She was cooking, I smiled at her and tried to say hi and she just turned back and looked at me like a stray dog for a split second, then went back to cooking.

WTF...? She doesn't even have a very basic gesture when two civilised human beings see each other.

Then I went to fix my bow and went over to Flushing, the train stopped at 103 St-Corona, and the conductor asked all of us to leave the train, because of "customer injury". Apparently some motherfucker jumped into the 7 train track while my train was approaching. A woman pointed at the track and yelled, "He's right in there!! I saw it because I was about to ask him something and he just did a deep-dive into the track!!" Another black guy said, "Yeah man, there's really someone in there..."

Gross shit, someone crushed into pieces under my feet?

Namo amitabha...

Then after I came back in Flushing late at night, I got an email from Desmond, telling me that I didn't show up in the rehearsal... huh? Got meh? Why is it not in my schedule one??

SHIT!!!!!!

That wasn't Friday the 13th, why was all these things happening to me?!!

GOSH...

Overnight on top of Times Square

I spent my night on Times Square.
Yeah seriously.

But I didn't sleep on the streets. I was in my friend's office right above Hard Rock Cafe. From the meeting room of the office, you could see the lights shining directly into the window, you hardly even need lights to read. People walking to and fro on the streets non-stop --- especially it's the first night of Spring weather.
Wow...it's like a dream!!

I fell asleep on the couch of the office's lobby while my friend was typing a paper. When I woke up, it's already 12pm.
I went out of the building, and I knew rightaway that Spring is here! Everybody was smiling and walking in the sunshine with their shorts and t-shirts.
Now that's what I call good weather!

新房间

终于班上来我真正的房间了。
其实还是比较喜欢楼下, 楼上的人给人感觉都是怪怪的。 尤其某位仁兄都不大爱睬人, 连正眼也不看我一下, 见面也不问好。
大家同屋住就和善一点嘛, 又没有得罪你... 降鸟样有钱拿咩？？？
房间看起来小, 其实还是有点空间的. 至少不会像以前61-49那样路都难走。不过以后东西全搬进来过后就不知道了...
希望这里可以呆一阵子吧。

Moved into my actual room at last.
I actually still prefer downstairs, as the people upstairs are a little weird. Such as this bro that lives across, he doesn't give a shit to people, doesn't even lay an eye on me or say hi.
Come on man, just be a little friendlier, we're roommates, I didn't step on your toes... what the fuck?
Although my room looks small, it's actually spacier than my room in 61-49 --- which I didn't even have space to walk. But I'm curious about how will it be when I moved all my shit over here...
I hope I can stay here for a while.

When you shed your tears of fear

When you shed your tears of fear

Have you thought of more are not so near?

Though it happens in your land so dear

Deaths are out there everyday not every year

It's so clear...

What we see we always fear

What we don't we just don't care

If you're worried for your life so dear

Why not care for those who didn't die here?

Friends from the older days

Since I got out of high school, I seldom gather with my high school friends anymore, except a few. What I'm sayin' is those big-ass parties and dinners with the whole class appearing, I usually don't attend --- in fact I never did.

Actually I did --- once. Just once. And I gave up.

That was not long after we left the school, they said they wanted to have a mamak gathering. Sure, why not.

So I went, and they started to talk shit, which is something I can join in.

But after a while, they started to ask me what do I study. I said music. So they asked me how does that work? So I started to explain the curriculum a little bit, then Tortoise rudely cut in and said, "Ah! That's some shit that we would never understand!" Then they started to say other things.

Fine, fair enough. I understand that they must have had a lot of question marks in their minds like "What the hell is this guy doing anyway? Music? Why do you need to go to school for that kinda shit?"

Seeing my friends all going to another direction like a school of dolphins, I thought to myself that it's time to say "bye" to the old days because we'll all start our own lives. No reason for me to dwell in the history. People change when their lives change. They're now engineers, direct-salesmen/women, pharmacist...

The only ones I can relate to, are the ones who studied graphic design and theatre, because they work in the art field, so our "brain frequencies" are somehow similar.

It's interesting to think about it sometimes, when you are wondering how far have you gone since high school. It's really nothing to feel sad about, this isolation. It's just a process of life I guess.

But I'm lucky that I still have some friends from high school that are still very close with me: Albert, Old Joe, Choo Huey aka Michelle Yeoh (of all names you chose this, beats me!) and Lai Peng. Pretty cool.

Tierras Colombianos

I live in a hispanic neighbourhood in Jackson Heights.

When most people hear "Jackson Heights", they would start telling me how they love Indian food...

Uh huh, me too.

Uh uh, but that's not my area.

I live in the edge between Corona and Jackson Heights --- obviously on the side of Jackson Heights. There are Mexicans surrounding the area that I live. If you take the 7 train (which is 2 minutes' walk from my place) one station towards Manhattan, you will see the area becoming a Colombian place.

Yup, you see the word "Colombianos" everywhere!

Right under the station, there is this fantastic restaurant called "Tierras Colombianos".

Holy crap, I went there once and ordered the Breaded Pork Loin, hell man, it's SOOOOOOO delicious!!

I couldn't the shit, so I brought it back home ---- now can you imagine how big it is?

Yeah... viva Tierras Colombianos!

??

Not much happened in these few days, except playing a great show last Friday in Joe's Pub with Akim Funk Buddha and totally pissed off by the motherfuckin' receptionist in Blue Note.

I literally didn't do shit on Sunday, except practiced a wee bit.

Yesterday was some funny shit, Monday. I woke up telling myself that I was late for QC Orchestra rehearsal and rushed over. Nobody but Carla was sitting on the stage in the dark to practice.

What's goin' on?! Nobody's in school!

Ha! Stupid me, it's still spring break...

So I stayed there thinking that I could print some music for my upcoming rehearsals and gigs, but fuck, media center printer is fucked up.

Then what? Pizza break with my band of course!!

Then I did my mail forwarding and I went to New York Tong Ren Tang to buy pearl cream... oh and I bought two DVDs ---- Confessions of Pain and The Protege. Both are Hong Kong movies that got high acclaims.

I can't wait to see them! But before that... let's take care of my comics first...

Did my laundry, and went to bed.

What a day.

And then it was snowing...

Can't believe this shit, SNOWING?!! What time of the year is it?!! April!!

GOSH!!!!!!!!

But I had quite an exciting day yesterday. I finally get to show joget to the Brazillian Guitar Duo, to find out how similar it is with Brazillian music. They were totally excited, not just because they sound similar, but Joao told me that there is actually ONE kind of fishermen in Brazil that play beats like this! And Douglas agreed too!

Then we started to jam, gave me a taste of what bossa nova should really feel like. They told me all that square bossa nova that I heard back home is actually afro-cuban bossa, not the real deal. And I totally feel that: They don't stress on the first beat, instead, they LEAN towards the 2nd beat (a little anticipated) and pull the tempo back on the 3rd and the 4th beats.

I guess it's the lilt that really made joget and Brazillian music sound similar.

Later after the concert, I showed my friend, a Portuguese who is currently a composition professor in NYU, my joget CD. He wasn't as excited as the duo, but nonetheless, he loved the sound of that music. When I told him this is a Portuguese influenced dance music in Melaka, he said he can hear the Portuguese influences.

Now, from the reaction of both parties, I could tell the Brazillians feel closer to the music than my Portuguese friend does. My theory is, this kind of music "migrated" to both Melaka and Brazil around the same time and grew roots into the ethnic culture there, got localised. But as for Portugal, maybe it is just a part of an evolving process for their music, and it didn't last too long.

Yeah babe, it felt so good doing "cultural exchange".

Oh yeah, before I went to Miller to perform with POA, I was in 42nd St Times Sq. Station. I saw these amazing Afro-Cuban street musicians, playing some amazing shit. The guitarist started playing a riff, and so u thoght u know where the down beat was right? Then when the percussionist entered with the clave, everything that you thought was right COMPLETELY fell out of place. The clave came in in the MIDDLE of the fucking riff!! That shit strikes me to the maximum! Hell yeah!! Not just that! Later they had a kick that came in in ANOTHER different part of the clave, gosh!! I dunno how them Cuban guys' brains work, but they sure is complicated.

After POA concert, I went to see L'Attitude feat. Richard Bona in the Cutting Room. Holy crap man, Richard is some motherfucker, both on the bass and voice!! I get to see him for real at last!!

He can sing while improvising on his bass, singing unison with his bass, without missing any single note. When you think his voice is so high and angelic with his falsetto, all of a sudden, he can sing so low, as low as his bass. I think he is using similar kind of technique with the one Bobby McFerrin is using. It's a kind of "harmonics" instead of real voice. It was fascinating.

Traditions, root, and inner searching...

Rainy today...
I woke up blurred as always, thinking that I should be fine running to the corner store and buy an umbrella. Aunt Zhou told me that it's fairly heavy, she lent me an umbrella, how nice of her!

I've never seen such a big rain in New York before.

Anyway, after the usual bullshit-filled POA rehearsal, I walked up to 42nd and watched 2 movies ---- with the price of one.

Initially I wanted to check out Grindhouse, but the line was extended to the streets, so I gave up. I went into the boxoffice and saw something that I've been interested to see ---- The Namesake. Also in the schedule was Peaceful Warrior, adapted from the book "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" that Charlie recommended to me a while ago.

The Namesake is the kind of movie that very easily touches my heart. It's about a person's realization of the value of his tradition and what he had missed throughout the years. I guess I had a similar experience as "Gogol" in the movie, somewhat. But I never looked down or doubted my own culture and tradition as he did, I just didn't find it so valuable until I get to New York City (same place as where Gogol is).

Sometimes unexpected things will make you see things a bit differently. Just like my two years of absence in Chinese New Year back home made me treasure Chinese New Year so damn much that I actually got mad when my family was acting as if they don't care on the dining table.

I went straight into the other auditorium that showed "Peaceful Warrior". The movie is just so-so, but you can totally understand what the original novel is all about, this makes me wanna read the book.

I've known about the way of inner-searching for quite some time, since I got close to Buddhism. I've always understand the power of it, and am trying to follow the Buddhism teaching of being humble and kind-hearted. I think it did change my life a bit, but I have never been very serious about it. I think I should ---- not because I want a decent reward or anything, it just makes me feel better and happier, I think.

音乐学院

铁匠买到好材料
冶
炼
打造
丢进模子
不多时
出来一个样

功能一样
性能一样

没个性

Oh Chloe...

It's been days since I waited for you to reply, but I guess you were busy practising.

It's OK, I understand a virtuoso's life is hard and intense, I don't blame you.

The song is for you, I hope you like it!

It could be the tune that I'm most proud of!

The Curse of MTA NYC

The thing that impressed me the most in NYC might be the subway.

Yes, it's impressive most of the time because they run 24 hours, they're on time and etc.

Did you see me typing "impressive MOST OF THE TIME"?

Yes, sometimes it's just not happening.

You see, the other night I finished a gig in Brooklyn, took HJ's car to the "52nd-Lincoln Ave" 7 train station. 7 train didn't run because of construction work.

I mean, it's cool, cuz I know they do that from time to time in weekends or late nights because New York subway is 100 years old after all, there should be something to be done.

So there was a shuttle bus that runs along the 7 line right?

I hopped on to the shuttle bus that says "Flushing Main St". I thought this should be it, so I dozed off in a short while after that. It was 12.30am, I remember.

I was awakened by a crowd that came onto the bus on 69th st Station. They started to make noise right after they packed the bus until some people's faces were almost pressing against the wind shield. I heard this Chinese lady sitting behind me yelling, "Cao ta ma de wang ba dan!! What the hell is going on anyway?! Making us go through all this bullshit?"

Then I started to realize that the driver announced that she will drive us back to 61st and Woodside Station and drop us there for an express train to Flushing!

Retarded right? You don't go forward but go backwards instead.

So you hear all kinds of curse words from different languages on the bus, it was fun. So everybody was pointing at the driver and took it all out on her.

But come on lah, be cultured and more understanding a bit can they? It's not the driver's decision to do so. However much she told them it wasn't her fault, they were still screaming at her. So finally she got fuckin' mad and yelled back to them, saying,

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?!!!! I'M JUST DOING WHAT MY SUPERINTENDANT ASKED ME TO DO TO DRIVE YOUR ASSES OVER TO 61ST STREET WOODSIDE!!!!!!"

Apparently the crowd was instructed by MTA to go to this station and that, back and forth. So they were fuckin' pissed off.

Hey, I thought New York subway is already over 100 years old? Why can't they learn from experiences in handling these things?

Gargh... that's the story...

Back to the City...

So I'm back

Into this City

Snow filled

White

Cold

Homeless I am

But never lose hope

Chick Corea in KL

I missed him by just that little bit...

Not that it's hard for me to see him in action in NYC, but I wanted to meet him up in KL because I thought it would be more meaningful.

So his assistant told me that he won't be coming out into the crowd to do signing or anything, I was a bit disappointed really. But I passed my Evil Twin demo with "Crystal Silence" in it to his assistant anyway, I hope he will pass it to Chick.

Chick, if you're reading this man, please listen to my new stuff, I really want you to hear our rendition of Crystal Silence!

x x x x x x

I met Chick once in New York when I first got there, at Lincoln Center's Barnes and Noble bookstore. He was doing a book signing thing for L. Ron Hubbard's "To The Stars", which inspired him to write a suite that bears the same title for his Elektrick Band.

He was so nice to me he asked me to pass him my CD if I have one, and that he will listen to it. So I did and more than half a year later I found myself holding his letter with his real signature on it, wishing me all the best in my career!

I dunno if many people got this from Chick, but it certainly gave me BIG encouragement in doing my THING. It was the kind of moral support that you don't get everyday from legendary cats with his calibre.

Thanks Chick! I hope to see you some time in NY!

My two nights with Boplicity

Heard about this band for a while since Julian dismissed his old band Happy People. Boplicity's hitting the scene with storm, I would say, even if nobody knows about it, I don't really give a shit, because they really are.

You know, I knew all the cats in the band except Cher Siang the pianist. I knew how they play and I also know them personally.

But after hearing the first tune they played in the first night in Top Room (March 9th), I felt that I didn't know them anymore.

What the fuck has happen to these people?!

EVERY SINGLE motherfucker in the band played like there is no tomorrow. Holy shit, everybody sets fire under my chair and burned my ass until I wanna jump!

Man to tell the truth, I was too surprised. See, I played with Martin before I went off to study in New York, but since then I didn't know how much he grew, I only knew he was talented and shit. But now, GODDAMN! He can play his ass off man!! He swings soooo damn much better... man if you're reading this, I'm fuckin' proud of you man, really, and I feel honoured to have played in the same band with you before.

Cher Siang, everybody was telling me about this cat, ravin' about him. Damn, he's really somethin' too, he definitely pushed the band so much ahead of its peers. He's the kinda player that would push you to show what you have. Great technique, great chops... what more can i say...

Vincent, damn, always so in tune and reliable, cool man.

Julian, mastermind behind this band, if it weren't him and his passion, this wouldn't happen. So obviously he's enjoying what they're doing on stage, he played his hearts out!!

And Eddie, you little prick, I rarely hear you solo before this, man, they told me you're a very musical person, and lemme tell you what, they're right!! You're deep man, you've got da soul!!! Really, I really enjoyed your solos..

So the second was designated for me, I went up as a special guest, and it became B+1.

I played Manda's Mood as opening, Cher Siang was a funny guy, he quoted the chorus of Chang Hung Liang's "Ni Zhi Dao Wo Zai Deng Ni Ma?" (Do you know I'm waiting for you?), we laughed our asses off. So I quoted the verse of the same song when I soloed. Haha! That was some funny shit. Only then I realized that this pop song actually only consists of 4 chords, Hahaha!!!

Then we played "Chloeithcka", oh my god, Julian on soprano almost literally took a knife and ripped his heart out and show it to the audience while it was still beating. You know what I mean? I think if there really is a God, he would have heard Julian's cry from the soprano that night. It pierced through the ceiling, the roof, the clouds, the atmosphere, the stars... I was touched...

Next, "Riders on the Lost Track". We were literally LOST... Vincent didn't really know how to play a joget bassline..hehe... But Julian saved it back... haha...

"Geylang" was the closing tune of the second set, now I could tell that most audiences didn't know what the fuck was going on with this tune. They looked so lost, as this tune is really experimental. It's based on the Malay folk tune, but reharmed in the way that you can play anything over it with D minor, but then we went while and started to avant-garde our asses off. That was really fun for us, but them kids down there were completely blanked... It was actually a very soulful and daring act of the night, too bad KL audiences didn't dig it.

Third set, was again mainly the Boppers' acts, I only joined in in the last two tunes, I thought I did alright...

The second night was almost the same, except we only played two of my tunes, which was Chloeitchka and Manda's Mood. The fire and passion were still the same from the Boppers.

I had a great experience, seriously, thanks Julian for asking me to play this gig. I felt emotionally, spiritually satisfied after these two long nights. I felt that I gave out all I had, and I felt good.

Thanks Boppers!

SHIT!!! MY PHONE!!!!

Performance went well, had a nice dinner with CM's profs and Soo Wei too.

This morning, I found out that I slept a little too much comparing than usual, it felt pretty good, and I could use more if I wanted to. But then CM told me that we're going out and that I'm gonna head straight to airport from Bangkok.

So I didn't even bother to take a shower, we just went straight out after I made sure I had everything with me.

CM wanted to show Soo Wei his campus, so we went there by his housemate's car. After that, we hit the cab and headed to Bangkok.

After some typical Bangkok traffic jam, we came to this shopping mall called "MBK". It's a pretty messy place with lots of small stalls everywhere, selling t-shirts and other things, all imitations.

One thing I found out was, their original DVDs and CDs are so fuckin' cheap! So I bought a copy of Naqoyqaatsi which original score was composed by Phillip Glass and solos by Yo Yo Ma. Never a big Glass fan, I always thought that his film scores are way more interesting than his concert works. The price was 56 Baht, which means about RM 5.60!! DVD BABY!! And when I wanted to pay my money, the girl at the counter told me that it's a buy-one-free-one item!! So CM asked me to get the same one for him. I did. So I guess that's considered as my thank-you gift for his nice hospitality? Hehe...

Bought another two t-shirts in the mall, pretty funny ones.

After having McD's, I went up to a taxi again and said bye to CM and Soo Wei.... oh, and Bangkok. Yes, I was heading to the airport.

It wasn't till I got to the security checkpoint that requires me to clear all my pockets that I found out that I was there WITHOUT MY PHONE!!

Cursing "fuck me!" secretly, I was wondering where the hell it was.

Could it be in CM's room? Or his friend's car? Or one of the cabs???

Now that I checked with CM, calling him from home, I was quite sure that the phone slipped out quietly from my pocket when I was on one of the cabs.

Dammit... what a trip...

In Bangkok

I arrived on the 4th of March, where CM was already waiting for me outside. My head was still ringing with music that I played with Greg the other night, I only slept two hours after the gig.

Journey was fine, because I slept through the whole of it, and also it's been a while since I sat by myself with nobody else next to me.

I'm looking at Bangkok with a different perspective this time.

Last time I was here, I didn't really have time to look at it, and I was totally bothered by the linguistic problems here, I didn't have a good time, plus the time was short as it was an overnight transit.

Cruising around the streets on buses and cabs CM gave me another experience of Bangkok.

The food here is really great, and cheap too. And you see a lot of beautiful people walking on the streets, but of course you can't be sure if they're real or not...if you know what I mean...hehe

Haven't been CM for more than two years, this little bastard can now speak some Thai with the locals, some vendors around his neighbourhood don't even know he's not a Thai. Haha, sneaky little bastard...

Now I'm sitting in CM's sax professor's room, waiting for the soundcheck and rehearsal at 5pm. Mahidol University has a beautiful campus, with great facilities in the music college. I jsut went to see a piano recital, which they used a Steinway concert grand. CM also told me that they have two other concert grands in the hall.

The hall is beautiful and fully equipped. Wondering when can we have a school like this in Malaysia...sigh...

Getting sleepy now, waiting for the concert...

See? I told you....

See?! Told you nothing would happen!

I always can foretell my life because it's just so predictable...

Boring...

I think I still stick up my good old golden middle finger real high, because I need it...

GJ 2nd night

Didnt like my solos accept African Skies...

Got to know a girl in the gig, very nice...

But so what...

Nothing will happen, I know it...

Groove Junky

First night...

Fun...

A little nervous...

Less smoke but still...

Leader late...

Started late...

Noisy drums...

Hard touch...

Pete was there...

Mei was there too...

Jammed with her...

Let's see 2nd night...

That good old middle finger

My friend asked me to take off my middle finger pic on my messenger today. I said no I like it that way because it represents me now!

Yeah some people think it's really bizarre to put some shit like that online.

But hell do I really care?

In this new year season, I just wanna show that middle finger to the world I'm living in.

I just wanna say "fuck you" to all the hypocrites, the whole bullshit music education system, the assholes, the politicians, and all the people who made me feel like this.

Fuck you, and fuck all of you!

Thank you very much.

New Year Resolution

What do I need for New Year?

Let's see...

I need to stop liking any girl.

That's it.

Simple!!

Yeah I will try to achieve that because it's pure bullshit to do something as non-productive as that!!!

Not that any of them would like you back you know? So what for.

BOOM!!!!!! BOOM!!!!!!!! BANG!!!!!!!! BOMB!!!!!!!!

New Year's Eve, always so noisy after the reunion dinner.

However big the government's warnings are, it still doesn't stop our passion for festivities!

So here we go again! Them firecrackers exploding EVERYWHERE in the neighbourhood and nobody gives a shit about the government warning!

Then I hear bangs above my roof, shit flyin' overhead and bursts all the time.

Some really really loud booms would sound occasionally, which sounds like gun fight...

Man, if I didn't come home, I wouldn't hear all these!!

But then, I guess it's gonna be hard to sleep tonight...

Happy new year!

So that was it huh...

So that was it...

All the best to you.

--- Over and out ---

A Happy Gathering

Last night was Banana's wedding, and I played for the cocktail party before the dinner, together with Yew Hann, Angela and Phooi Wooi.

Pretty cool party that was, I got to see many ex-school/class/bandmates from Chong Hwa.

It's really funny, when we Chong Hwa people talk together, we always feel a certain kind of "same frequency" in oppose to talking to some people that just don't get our kind of humour.

We had so much fun joking and talking shit about people, plus Phooi Wooi was there, what else can you expect? Just endless funny jokes!

Congrats to Banana for getting married with this dude who has the name of a famous DJ and who looks VERY VERY matching to you.

Wish you all the best!

First thing getting home...

I believe Pete was crazy, he asked me to go to Alexis Bistro to jam with Josie Thomas after I stepped into my house for 5 minutes coming back from airport!!

But I went anyway, with mama watching me driving on the side.

I sat through the whole second set of the night, and I joined in the wankin' in the funk version of "All Blues"...

People dug it, I didn't. I didn't exactly know what I was doing.

But well, it's still nice to meet Pete --- finally.

Conversations with Ray Pizzi

I got back late after watching Pan's Labyrinth, and Ray was already waiting on the sofa and the party was hot.

We talked for a bit with Naoko and Matt, then we started to play a blues.

Then we talked some more and I showed Ray my video of Project Taming Sari. He was really happy to see that, and right away he asked Ken to record us doing a musical conversation. Matter of fact I'd been waiting for that for quite some time!

So we did two tracks, which while in the 2nd track, when I was doing some freaky sound, he mouthed the words "fuck you!" to me, HAHA!

Then Ray invited Naoko to join in to play a blues. That was fun too!

Parting with Ray was a little depressing, but hey, we had some fun, what more can I ask for?

Looking forward to more, Ray!!

When will I be back?

So this is Ken's farewell to LA, maybe for half a month.

But I kinda feel that it will be my farewell to LA for a while as well.

This feeling doesn't come with no reason.

I had been here the most next to New York, and lots of Ken's friends become my friends, plus I have lots of friends from HMI living here.

With Ken's return to Malaysia, I will have no reason to come back anymore, adding that HMI has closed down.

We will have a party tomorrow to say farewell to the friends.

I begin to wonder when will I be back in LA?

I'm in LA BABEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a long flight from NY through Chicago, I arrived in LA AT LAST!!

I was stupid, I dunno why I misread my itinerary and ended up thinking that my flight was in 3:20pm or something.

Well when I was having a farewell lunch with Michelle, I took up the itinerary to read and IT SHOCKED ME TO DEATH! The flight should've been at 2:10pm and I was chillin' in the diner at 1:30!!!

So we finished our meal in a light speed and rushed to the airport with her jeep.

Got there too late anyway, got standby though, for a 4:39pm flight, arrives in LA 10:20pm, which was perfect because Ken was in Alf Clausen's Simpsons scoring session until 10 something.

I almost couldn't move after I arrived in Ken's place...

BUT I AM IN L.A. BABEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NY - LA - KL

Last minute packing ---- not just any packing, but packing for both visiting hometown and moving out of my apartment.

This is definitely NOT fun!!

Since I move out and haven't looked for a place, I have to keep my stuffs in 3 different places ---- my HK brother Ming's place, Sokol's place, and finally, my guitarist Michelle's place.

I managed to bring two boxes to Ming's place around noon, then I continued packing till dinner time. Had dinner with Michelle in Gino's Pizza.

After pizza we went to Project Taming Sari's recording and video shooting session. Now this shit TRULY took a long time, I was a bit frustrated actually, cuz we kept on waiting for the engineer to setup and all, while I was thinking about my unfinished packing process.

We finished around 12.15am...

Sokol called me up and say he arrived home, and Michelle offered me help to fetch my stuff to Sokol's place, which is 4 blocks away from where I live.

Only then I found out I had so many things!!! Damn!!! I had a TV, a DVD player, a black box, then my box of books, 2 boxes of CDs and DVDs, my box of music, and another box of miscellenious stuffs!!

Luckily Sokol's room is very big, so he didn't mind storing the stuff for me. Seriously I'm totally grateful about his help! And Michelle too, she was willing to drive two rounds to Sokol's place, which was an immense help.

Things didn't stop right there, I continued packing until I write this blog, which is around 4:40am!!!

I gotta wake up early tomorrow to do my laundry, go to the college to print my boarding pass, oh, and also call up Brother Ming before 10am to put another two bags of shit into his room.

Lucky thing was, Michelle offered to drive me to LaGuardia tomorrow. I really dunno how to thank her! This is what I call FRIEND!

Millions of thanks to Michelle, Koli, and Brother Ming!!

So my rough itinerary for the rest of the one and a half months will be one week in LA hanging out with Ken and hopefully play in Ray Pizzi's gig, then a BIG vacation in my beloved hometown, KUALA LUMPUR!

Yeah bitch, it's about time to get some rest!

My bedz are gone~~~

I was still worried that I might not get to sell my beds and all of a sudden I sold all of them!!

Now I will have three nights sleeping without a bed. That would be quite an experience! I hope I'll do fine... :S

Oh and also, I got an e-mail from Greg Lyons, hiring me to play his March 2nd and 3rd gig in No Black Tie!!

Fuck yeah!!

What Does It Mean To Be A Musician?

I have a friend from Malaysia who told me that she's done studying piano in Germany and she has to go home because she has no more money to stay there to study more. She said she is sad that she has to leave all these behind to go home. She said the only thing she can do now is teaching piano back home and earn a living. She also said that she loves to practice and she loves to learn piano.

Here I have a BIG question mark after reading what she said: After all that studying, practising and learning, what are you going to do about it?

I mean, what is the point of keep on learning the instrument but without having the chance to stand by yourself and make the music of YOUR OWN?

It's obvious that learning and studying is a beautiful thing. But for me, as a musician, when you don't have other choices but to start working, this is the time you should utilize what you have learned and start making music.

Let's face it, we can't study forever. And the point we study music, is to hope that one day we can be independent from "What the teacher asks you to do" to "What YOU want to say". I guess for my friend, it's time for her to MAKE music instead of keep obeying what her teacher asks her to do.

Sometimes I can't really understand, if you don't have a desire to make a statement with your instrument, why bother to learn it? And also, what for to keep on learning it if you don't want to make your own statements? Does learning to perform not mean that you should desire to PERFORM?

I hope my friend can understand this one day. I didn't really talk much when she told me about it through the messenger because I knew that she would start arguing with me. Teaching is not the only thing you can do in your life after school. Performing ocassionally and make people understand what you think inside is a satisfaction and fulfillment only your heart can understand.

Go ahead and fly, my friend! It is time.

Talking to her again...??

I dunno why I buzzed her that day, and started to talk to her again.

Do I have to? I don't think so. But I did.

I felt happy talking to her anyway...

Shit, I'm nuts...

She's something that's impossible for me to pursue ----- I don't deserve her anyway.

Bah... I guess I just gotta be careful not to like her again...

南瓜咚咚响 (The Pumpkin Crisis)

Samseng J was a good friend of Teddy B, they treated each other like brothers. They play together, eat together, usually slept together too but since Teddy B got his wife, A&W, they stopped doing that.

A&W is a fat bitch with a big mouth and loud voice. One day she was in the pasar and met her good friend CB, she told her in a loud voice, "Aiya CB ah~~ You really dunno how embarrassing my husband was loh~~~!! HE FORGOT TO WEAR UNDERWEAR WAH!! Aiyo~~~ Forgot mah forgot nevermind, BUT MY KIDS SAW IT!!! AIYO~~~ I really malu until I dun dare to tell people err!~" So CB said, "But you're already telling me what." A&W said, "Tell you only mah~~!! Different!! I where got face to tell other people or????~~"

And for sure the whole pasar overheard her.

A&W liked to teach her 3 kids to sing, one day there was talent time show in their church, she went up to the stage and conducted the church kids' choir. Samseng J was in the same church with A&W and Teddy B, so he was there too. He was sitting in the front row next to this other guy while watching them sing. But Samseng couldn't stand seeing A&W's big ass swinging around while conducting, so he leaned over to the guy and said, "Eh you see you see her ass or not? Like pumpkin like that! WAHAHAHA!!! PUMPKIN AH!! HAHAHAHA!!!"

So I guess he was a bit too loud and A&W overheard him. She, of course, went to tell Teddy B about this.

Teddy B couldn't do anything but to speak up for his wife.

So Teddy called up Samseng J later that day and said, "J, how can you say that about my wife one?" Samseng J answered, "Eh it's true what! Her ass was like pumpkin like that mah!! Damn irritating you know???" "J, you broke my heart man. We're like brothers man, and brothers are supposed to share everything. You should be nice to my wife like she's your own." Samseng J almost threw up, "Fuck you lah!! You broke my heart also!! My wife so damn chun and you asking me to fuck your wife?!!" Then he slammed the phone.

So they didn't talk for a long time after that. But, of course, they didn't feel good. They were like brothers, they played together, eat together, even slept together....

*Knock knock*

Somebody was knocking on Teddy B's office door.

It was Samseng J.

He came in quietly, unlike his playful self. He sat down, and started to talk, "B, I just want to say I'm sorry and I hope you accept my apology for being rude that day..."

Teddy B waved his hand and said, "Man, you don't need to say anything, I was already to accept your apology, I even thought of apologise to you myself... because after all... WHAT YOU SAID WAS TRUE WHAT!"

OK...so Teddy B thought his wife's ass WAS like pumpkin!

Then all of a sudden A&W came in to his office and said, "What the hell is this guy doing here?!"

Teddy B was furious about her rudeness and spat, "This is men's business and it has nothing to do with you! Get outta here!!" A&W was ready to leave when Samseng J said nervously, "But I have one request! Please don't turn your back at me when you wanna go out, just back off like this...facing us..."

"WHY CANNOT LAH?!!" she angrily turned her back to them and went out.

Without second thoughts, Teddy B and Samseng J both bursted out laughing, "PUMPKIN AHHH!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So they became good friends again...

IAJE Annual Convention, 2007, NYC

Guess it's time to move on from mourning Mr. Brecker.

Let me talk a little bit about this great event that I took part in last week.

The International Association for Jazz Education's annual convention 2007 was held in Sheraton New York and Hilton New York, between January 10th and 13th.

Day 1, Jan 10th, Wednesday, I went over to Sheraton and thought that I could register there. Once I got in, I saw the lobby full of people --- with instruments in their hands. I was soooo excited, and touched. I've never seen so many musicians in my life. I felt like I got home or something.

Guess that was my only impression in the first day, nothing much happening anyway.

Oh yeah, I saw Peter Erskine though. Also, I met Dan Carlin, the formal associate director of Henry Mancini Institute ----- HMI is closed down, as some of you may know.

Oh and also I went to the Winter Jazz Festival in Knitting Factory, and had an overdose of music that night. I think I started to fall sick after that. But I met the sax player Rudresh Mahanthappa, playing with Craig Taborn on piano, Francois Moutin on bass, Tyshawn Sorey on drums. Wow, he was totally awesome!! And he was a nice too. I also watched Gut Bucket, a jazz hardcore band, which impressed me so much when they played one movement from Messiaen's Quartet for the End of Time ALL BY MEMORY.

Day 2, January 11th, Thursday. I couldn't wake up to listen to Rez Abbasi's talk on Indian Classical music concept used in jazz... I hate myself... But I realized I need to sleep. Anyway, I went into Hilton at around 3.30pm, catching the trumpeter Avishai Cohen's show at the lobby. Wow, that cat was something. The show was too packed I had to stand behind the band, but it was awesome. The power of the music didn't decrease just because I couldn't face them directly.

Then I've seen some other shit too, like the jam session at the lobby, there was this violinist that I didn't really know what the fuck she was doing over Cantaloupe Island, but oh well, maybe she didn't know them changes so well. Cantaloupe Island. Wow.

And at that jam session, I found Michelle and she introduced his ex-drummer, Martin Valeras, who's Hiromi's drummer now, to me. He's a very humble and nice guy, we even took a picture. Also, I met Joel Holmes, Ken's MySpace friend, he said "Ni Hao" to me. Very nice and laid back guy, cool cat. Also I went up to talk to the drummer John Lamkin III whom I knew on MySpace, who had played with Kenny Garrett before. Then Michelle introduced Sarah Bernstein who used to study jazz violin in Queens College to me.

I had no memories of anything else after that, until we went in to the Grand Ballroom to look at "The Latin Side of Miles Davis". It was a good band, but the arrangement didn't really hit me much. Then during the Randy Brecker and Bill Evans' Soulbop, I couldn't resist the temptation of the milkshake I had in Island Burger and Shake the night before, so I went out, praying that it's still open. Of course they were closed, and so I went up a little bit in the same shop row and found Renaissance Restaurant which is also famous for its milkshake. I took out two chocolate milkshake and a fries cuz Michelle said she's hungry.

Then when I got back, Soulbop's already done playing their gig. Michelle was helping Ada Rovatti, saxophonist and Randy's wife, to sell Soulbop CDs, while Randy and Bill and them other band members were signing the CDs. I went up to Randy and Bill to introduce myself and told them that I was in their workshop in Malaysia before. Bill was extremely cool and approachable! We talked a little bit until he was ready to go.

Then we watched the closing act ---- John Hollenbeck's Large Ensemble.

Man that shit fucked me up. I was so moved by it. Same kinda feeling when I first watched Hollenbeck doing Joys and Desires with Jazz Big Band Graz in Tonic last year during IAJE. Damn. It was some powerful shit man.

Day 3, January 12th, Friday. This could be my shortest day in IAJE Convention because I had to make up the lessons that I would miss on Saturday and I also felt so terrible catching that cold. I didn't show up until about like 9pm. I didn't think I saw any shows that night. I just hung around a bit, watched some high school and junior high kids doing their rehearsals in some of the ballrooms. Them kids were promising, I'm sure they will be something very soon, in just a few years. Then I called up Tyler and we went for a drink between 58th and 59th, 7th ave. Then I went to Nick Ong's house and crashed, ready for the next day's string reading session.

Day 4, January 13th, Saturday. Last day baby.

I was nearly late to the reading session because of the stupid subway re-route. But anyway, I filled up the first stand second chair of second violin because Jeremy Kittel couldn't be there on time. The session was fucking long, 2 hours, but still we couldn't finish reading all them music ---- some of them pretty cool, some of them extremely bad. I got to play two solos, but all extremely short and with repetitive chords. So the conductor asked me later, "So I bet you're still learning huh?" Uh....yes....? (Who isn't still learning anyway?)

Anyway, I got out after 11am and went out and bumped into Etienne Charles (I bumped into this motherfucker every-fucking-where in the convention! It's hilarious!), talked to him for a bit, and he introduced me to this beautiful black DJ who works for XM. We chatted a little, and I saw Antonio Hart walking by, he saw me too, pointed his finger at me, so I pointed back at him as a "hello". Then I headed to the exhibition for a while, which was my first time. Met John Clayton there, talked to him about how nice his piece for HMI was, and how sad that HMI is closed down. Met Marco there too, our fat cat still looks the same, and I was a little surprised to know that he quitted Eldar's band, which is understandable because he needs time for himself.

After that I went into Tanya Kalmanovitch, Rob Thomas, Matt Glaser and Renata Bratt's talk about college jazz education for string players. Because I went in half way, I couldn't really catch everything they said, but seems like what Tanya did to the NEC kids is pretty interesting. In the end of the session, I finally met Meg Okura, the beautiful Japanese jazz violinist who's married to an American sax player and now resides in NYC. Very very happy to meet her because we've been MySpacing for a while! We exchanged cards. (Oh yeah, I passed out my cards like crazy that day, that I literally finished every single one I had with me!)

Then whom I met? PETROS MENDONIS!!! I haven't met that motherfucker for a whole fucking year!!! We hugged like old brothers for so long. We went to see the exhibition for a loooooong time, and then we went in to Sheraton to see Anita Brown's Big Band, which was pretty beautiful. Then we had lunch in a pizza place and went back to see John Fedchok's Big Band, that music didn't really speak to me much, no offence to John, but it's just my personal taste. When Michelle called me up, I took the liberty to walk out and went to Hilton to see what's going on in there. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, before John's show opened, the president of IAJE went up the stage to announce Michael Brecker's death with his trembling voice. I think that shit really fucked many people up, we all gave him a minute of silence.

Apparently, the pro jam session was burning hot in there. I saw a lot of lady jazziz were burning up there, I also saw a kid playing on the B-3. So I told myself "Why not?". So by the next tune, which was the last tune, Blue Monk, I jumped right in there, as that was my last chance to expose myself a little bit in IAJE. It was fun, I thought I played alright, not surprisingly well, but alright for a violinist (how irresponsible to say that!!). Some people dug it, some didn't --- I could tell from the applause. It's OK, it's a learning process for me. At least I overcame my inner devil to restrain me from playing in front of all the pros.

Then I didn't know what I was doing... I guess I walked around a bit again and got very tired of the cold, so I sat down in the Hilton lobby, with Meg chatting with her friends and her husband a little further away from me, they didn't look so happy, I guess they were talking about Michael Brecker's passing. Oh well... I didn't feel that good either... I could understand how they feel, especially they know him personally...

Then I saw Jon Hendricks walking by, looking sharp as a tack in his tuxedo and bow tie. I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me and said, "How you doin' man?"

Then the vocalist whom I jammed with a while ago, Aronda Way, came over to talk to me, telling me how impressed she was with my playing. She's really friendly, so we exchanged cards.

After that I saw Stefon Harris walking by doing nothing. So I stood up and said hi to him, telling him how I loved his shit with the Classical Jazz Quartet (Kenny Barron, piano; Ron Carter, bass; Lewis Nash, drums; Stefon Harris, vibes). He was so damn humble, saying that it's the greatness of the other three cats that made the album great, he was just noodlin' around. Man, Stefon Harris noodlin' around?! So I told him, "Man, your playing was as great as them! I really enjoyed it!" So he thanked me and we bid farewell.

Then T came to the lobby and we went to see John Hollenbeck's Claudia Quintet in Cornelia Street Cafe, leaving Didier Lockwood behind. Michelle said Lockwood made her cry. Damn, did I miss something? I'm still in the process of digesting Claudia Quintet's sound... I wish I could clone myself to see both. Verdamnt!!!

We got back to Hilton and had a quick dinner, went up to see Charlie Haden's Liberation Orchestra before getting ready to watch the last show of the night: Avishai Cohen Trio. This Avishai Cohen is a bassist, not the other Avishai Cohen I've seen before. T didn't really dig what he heard in the Haden band I guess, so he left the ballroom first. I thought there were some interesting shit going on in the music though, such as the arrangement of Amazing Grace, I thought it was pretty nice. Haden's playing didn't really speak up to me though.

After Haden's show, I went over to where T was --- Charles Tolliver Big Band. Man, I regretted that I didn't show up earlier, that band fuckin' burned man!! I saw a big reason for it ---- Victor Lewis was doing his thing in there. Damn, he's definitely one of my favourite drummers!!

Then Avishai Cohen Trio came up. The band was real fuckin' tight. Dammit!!! They blew me away!!! They could do so many crazy rhythmic things just by vamping!!! Well I guess they couldn't do so if they weren't vamping.

In a way, I'm glad that IAJE Convention is over. I was very tired and needed so much rest after all the musical madness within that four days. Too many things, too little time... But I had a great experience. I would go back again if I had the chance!

A minute for Michael

Hi Michael, if you can hear me.

I know that you do not know me, but I know you, I know your sound. I guess that is better than knowing you personally.

The first time I got to know you was when I popped in the CD "Directions in Music" that you did with Herbie and John.

I didn't remember the other tracks so well, other than that one track that would change my ears forever ----- "Naima".

Solitude, warmth, darkness, brightness, peace, fiery...

They were all presented by you, single-handedly, without anybody behind or beside you.

And I guess for that reason, I am pretty sure you will be fine walking this journey to another world all by yourself. Do not look back, though, because you do not want to see all the sad faces and tears-filled eyes that you left behind.

You brought peacefulness to our souls with your music, and now it is time for you to move on and find your eternal peace.

Rest in peace.


*Tenor saxophone great, Michael Brecker, died of leukemia on Saturday, January 13th, 2007. Leaving us nothing but a new unreleased album, and many other immortal recordings that he made.

Some curse words for my life

Fuck

Fuckity

Fuck Fuck Fuck

The saddistic truth...

Went up to Friendster, found out something that gave me a little shock.

I thought I was OK.

But then I start to feel bad now...

Why does it always happen to me?

Fuck.

I give up.

There's no hope.

Nu Blu Lounge

Cool place...

I hung out with Akim and Yuki there just now, it's totally cool!

Nice vibe, cool music...

Check it out, it's on the Lower East Side, Avenue C, between 4th and 5th Street.

Kjell

Kjell arrived on January 1st, 2007, to pick up his new violin by Zygmundovitch.

Apparently he couldn't wait to show me that instrument because it's so good, so I met him up on the 2nd after watching "Rent" with Betty Wu and her friend, that was around like 11pm when I arrive.

I tried the violin for 5 minutes, it sounded great! Then went out to have something to eat and drink.

He's still as concern about my career and playing as ever, never changed a bit, only much warmer now than before. I thought I changed a lot though. I wasn't so afraid to tell him what I think anymore, I think now I'm a much more confident person than before.

I was absolutely surprised that Ulrike is pregnant!!

That means my polar bear teacher is going to be a Daddy Bear!!!!

Then we met again today, the 3rd. We went to Dizzy's to watch Bobby Watson, the band was amazing! And we stayed back for the late night set too. Met Etienne, by the way.

After that we went to the same place to have food, we planned to meet again tomorrow for lunch, he will be leaving at 7 something in the evening, from Newark.

"The Zorn Thing" Expansion Pack

I admit that I was pretty out there last night when I was writin the blog, having played the whole night and had some drinks. Plus I was really sleepy.

So here's some "Extra Features".

I met Okkyung after the set and she recognized me right away. She asked me about my visa thing, gave me some good advice, really appreciate it. I told her that their playing ws amazing, and she said, "Thank you. Well, maybe you'd had enough of this shit." Haha! I said, "Well it's different every time, so I don't think I will ever have enough of it!"

Then I saw John Zorn standing behind the glass door, so I asked Okkyung if it's OK to talk to Zorn because I needed to pass my CD to him. Okkyung told me it should be OK, so she told the doorman to let me in, they didn't hesitate.

I went up to Zorn and introduced myself and told him that I'm an admirer of his music, and I wrote a piece for violin and viola, it's inspired by him and recently performed....he just cut in and say, "You want me to listen to it? Sure!" He took the CD from me.

SO COOL!

ZORN!!! Bitch it's ZORN!!!!!!!

The Zorn Thing

I reached the Stone at 7.55pm, the line was really long, I didn't expect that, and I was thinking to myself, "Yeah better prepare for the worst, motherfucker, this tiny place will be packed in no time."

And it did.

I thought this is the end of me, I came all the way from Queens just to see John Zorn in action and this will be my second time going home disappointed.

No wait!

The guy came out and started to tell us, "A couple more minutes."

Zorn started shredding on center stage with these other guys, we could hear him faintly from outside. Wasn't loud but at least something for our thirst.

After the fire department cat went away for a while, they started to let us in. I was one of the lucky chinks who could get in and listen to my heroes!!

Once I got in, Mark Feldman, Sylvie Courvoisier (Mrs Feldman), and Okkyung Lee, started to do some crazy improv.

You see, if you don't listen to them carefully, you would complain that they're making noise. But those ain't merely noise if you observe and listen closely, they actually were interacting with each other ---- unison, juxtaposing, doubling, harmonizing, etc.

After that Zorn came out with a bass clarinetist and soprano player, playing this awesome wind trio. Dude, lemme tell u, that shit was like pre-composed, they were locking up so well you can't hear no flaw in them!! Too bad I am not able to know all of their names...

Also in the show was Mark playing with trombonist Jim Staley, Sylvie shredding with electric guitarist John King and clarinetist, also a grand finale with all them motherfuckers.

They made noise, but they interact, they clash into each other like thunder and lightning, they flow into each other like streams.

Noise with sense ---- it's the "Zorn thing".

Second Rehearsal with PTS

Yessss.............

This band is happenin'...

Good vibe, good sound, good ensemble...

It's gonna rock...

We'll see what happens when we record our demo tomorrow!!

My life after Christmas

So my Christmas sucked, I know.

But Chen Han arrived the next day with his gf Annie and two other people --- one of them being my Facebook friend that I recently added, I-Chia. I-Chia is a very nice girl, very cool too. She's a violist. We had some food together, sang karaoke and had some fun talking about violin-playing ----- I think he and Mune are the only two motherfuckers that like to talk about violin-playing with me. I mean, I don't talk about violin playing so much myself, so it's good to hear what others have to say and think, and see how they do it.

This morning we went to Martin's place, Chen Han wanted to rehair his bow and Mune's too. Martin adopted a very cute little dog last Friday, it has a funny name, "Basta". HAHA! But it's a really really nice dog, very quiet and tamed. But once Chen Han started playing the violin, he barked! When I-Chia and I were playing, he was quiet. Very funny phenomenon, but dunno why.

I brought them to 5th Avenue to take pictures, they took a lot of pictures, and was quite psyched about the decorated streets. We came back exhausted.

It was fun, I hope they will come again!

By the way, I didn't contact Jing Wen at all today. I dunno what's going on with her and her friends, hope everything goes well with them and wish they are having fun. I'm glad that they managed to move to another place. Too bad I couldn't hang with them, but oh well, I have my friends here, they're cool too. Those people hardly know me, including Jing Wen herself, so nevermind, they don't have to hang with me if they don't want to. Just trying to help them as much as I could because we came from the same country.

Quote of the Day

"He influenced me, and I influenced him, and that's the way great music is always made. Everybody showing everybody else something and then moving on from there."

----- Miles Davis

Dark Christmas

In less than one hour, the depressing day will be over.

Christmas.

It's not white.

It's dark for me.

I didn't do anything all day, except having lunch with Paul Way and Hoi before they leave.

I got back home and started my PS2 shredding, and half asleep while watching National Geographic Channel.

I tried to call a bunch of people, including Nick and Ken, but nobody answered.

I didn't even eat dinner properly.

And now I'm sitting here waiting for 12am to come.

That's my Dec 25th, 2006.

Pretty simple right?

p/s: James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, passed away on the Christmas morning. Please give a minute of silence to commemorate him and his music.

Jing Wen in town

Yeah so my Friendster friend Jing Wen is in town at last!

She looks as pretty as her photos on Friendster, Eddie is a lucky bastard, haha!

I took her and all her friends to Sentosa to have dinner, they were a cool bunch (OF COURSE! MALAYSIANS MAH!! except Taku the Japanese, but he's cool too).

It's good to see so many Malaysians all at once in America, I never had that experience till now!

So the next few days, I will be bringing Jing Wen to hunt for some dance classes around town, I hope she gets some, and I hope she doesn't get scared and not going in.

After all, it's just a class, what's there to be afraid of?

Corcoran Holt's Graduation Recital

I managed to get out of Smaldone's recording session earlier than planned, so I went next door to listen to my bro Corcoran Holt's final recital.

Corcoran's a bassist who has been a killer since I first saw him play.

Today he brought together a band of killers like himself to burn up the remaining of his graduate school days. Unfortunately I couldn't remember any of these cats' names, they sure were a whole group of motherfuckers.

I went in at one thirty pm, which is around 1/3 of the recital, Corcoran was doing a duet with the drummer. Man, were they tight! I was totally blown away by the drummer, whose command on the instrument was just totally phenomenal!

This guy burns in whatever situation, whether when he was playin' loud or soft. His pattern was varied and inconsistant but you never felt anything was off his hands. He puts fire under everybody's ass and kept burning them until they all ran like motherfuckers. I have total respect for his playing.

Now a killin' drummer can't make it without a good pianist and bassist, like I said, Corcoran's motherfucker on the bass, and the pianist too, was great in complementing the soloists. The whole rhythm section locked up so tight together that they almost shared the same brains.

The saxophonist was a great player, oh man, his playin' was just beautiful and in the same time fiery!!! RJ the trombonist is more of a cooler and lyrical type of player, and he's a motherfucker too.

The most memorable number they played was "Ele Efe" by Christian McBride, I almost teared when I heard it. The sound was so supreme it would lift you up to another level of the heaven!

I felt I learned something in this concert. I learned that "love" is an important thing in a band.

Don't look at me like I'm nuts, because when you have love between one another, you want to support your bandmates while you play together, when they're down, you lift them up and encourage them by burning it underneath. That's how it should be, I believe.

Love is the key.

Project Taming Sari

We had a first rehearsal today, I felt good about it and am pretty excited about what we can become in the future.

The line-up:

Michelle Marie Nestor, guitar
Fung Chern Hwei, violin
Brandon Silaco, percussions

This is a project that Michelle and I put together, trying to find a new kind of sound. Sort of ECM, spacey, clean, light, but not lacking of power. Original idea was to include my bro Jeremy Harman on the cello, but that guy has been missing in action for a long time, since we can't wait anymore, we started to rehearse.

The group sounded good. The sound started to gel up and started to show some promising potential within an hour of playing!

We played my tune "Riders on the Lost Track" today, doing the head over and over again. I taught them about the Malay joget rhythm. They were a little stiff in the beginning, but after a while, it started to blend, and we came out with our way of playing that rhythm!

I can't wait for next week! I can almost be sure that good things will happen to this group!

*thanks Brandon, for your full determination and seriousness!

Harry Winston on Red Carpet

I woke up at 9am on Sunday, got out from the house at 9.30am, jumped on a Q65A and took E train to Forest Hills, transferred to D train on 7 Av, it was an express, I got to West Harlem in no time.

That place was pretty crazy ---- it's quiet, that's why it's crazy.

Homies hanging around the roadside, doin' nothing, sitting on a chair brought out from their houses, smokin', looking at the passersby.

I didn't pay no much attention to these people, as I sort of knew that a black neighborhood are like that, and that I should feel lucky that I was in West Harlem, not East.

Whatever it was, I got out at 145th St station, and went to Crown Fried Chicken as I saw it, and bought two pieces of them. I always have a feeling telling me that black people's fried chicken are the BEST!!

Then I went up for blocks and a couple blocks West to knock on Mikael's door.

I had my "brunch" at his kitchen and started to work.

At first, we thought we would wanna use my pickup plugged into Mikael's terminal and at the same time picking up the room ambience with his song mic.

But after a few tries, Mikael decided to use only his mic. Which is actually something that I also prefer, becuase when you clip a pickup onto the violin bridge, the sound of the instrument will be affected and became like muted.

I chose to play and record Mikael's written part for a few times, he's got some beautiful lines there, simple but cool. Then after a short coffee break, he started to ask me to improvise.

He took many takes, I improvised in classical style, jazz, even some rock elements in there, then Chinese glissando style and Malay style traditional fiddling. Each take has each of these different things inside, so that Mikael could do some sound collage out of it.

Seriously, I couldn't care less how he edits my music, as long as it sounds natural, I really wouldn't mind throwing the textbook gospels away. It's all about taste, I think. If Mikael did it with high taste (which I'm sure he would), I don't think I would have a problem with it at all.

Sometimes I think I'm just not fussy enough like other musicians, anything might sound good to me. I hate to make decisions like that, determine which one to use in the recording. There might be a big chance of me saying "yes, that could do it" to 10 choices it has.

Anyway, I can't wait for Mikael to get done with the editing, because I wanna see how it turns out to be like.

p/s: Battlefield, I am waiting...

One-week off time needed!!!!!

Just when can I stop playing my violin for a whole fucking week????

I need my thumb to recover!!! It's painful!!!

Life is hard, if you don't work, you don't earn. But what about my thumb??? I need to cure it!!!

It bugs me a lot especially when I tune my violin, holy shit, I don't even wanna think about it...

I'm recording for Harry Winston's website tomorrow, it's Mika's composition, and I will be playing the violin section part and some of my own improvisations over the beautiful 4-bar changes. We'll see how it goes, hope I can hear it one day on the 5th Ave.

Woke up at 5am...

Isn't this crazy?

I got drunk last night and crashed a little too early, now I'm up at 5am... Duh...

I wanna go back to sleep now.

I hope the woman won't come to check my blog anymore.

YOU'RE NOT WELCOME!!!