Heavyweights...

Now I really dunno what I did to deserve this session.

I was called by Randy Brecker's wife, Ada Rovatti to do a reading session on Saturday. The call was made on Friday.

Of course, I was panicked like fuck. Why? Because the name of the players in the band freaked me out.

Janek Gwizdala on bass. George Colligan on keyboard.

OK, I have to confess that I didn't know who George was, until Chris Howes told me how much he would love to do that session (he wasn't free) because George was playing. And yeah, he's really a motherfucker. And I just googled him...fuck...I can't finish counting all them great players he's playing with! Buster Williams, Mingus Dynasty, Mingus Big Band, Miguel Zenon, Gene Jackson, Ralph Alessi, Christian McBride, Billy Hart, Don Byron.......not to mention that he's also a drummer...

Janek Gwizdala, I saw him with Mike Stern, subbing for Richard Bona, who didn't show up last minute. Janek was having Indian food when Mike called him up and asked him if he could get over to 55 Bar "now" to play. No wonder I remember seeing him eating some spicy kinda food on the way into the bar! Just, you remember too right? Hehe... Although it was last minute, he sounded like he rehearsed the shit before. Damn...

Goddamn man...today is definitely a day to remember...

New York....Mosquitoes...

Just as I thought I hardly see any mosquitoes in New York...

I WAS BADLY BITTEN BY ONE FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!!!!!!!

I went to bed at 1.39am and thought I could get my much needed sleep for the rehearsal in New Jersey the next morning. I woke up scratching all over my arms and legs, wonder where the fuck is that little prick that stung me so bad.

I finally found that motherfucker but couldn't kill it!!

GRRR!!!!!!!

Now I'm sitting in my housemate's room, with strong cooling aircond.

The time... 5.27am...

The Magic of Richard Bona

Wow...

Wow...

Wow...

Enough is enough!

Wow... I don't think I've ever worked with such pathetic musicians and singers!!

Can't sing, can't play.

I rehearsed with the singers and thought they (especially the guy on guitar) were bad enough, shit... the BASSIST!!! Oh my fuckin' God, and I found out DURING the gig!!

Well, not exactly a gig.

They said it's a tryout, so they can't pay me anything, but I can have free beers.

Hearing all the kinda crap they were doing on the bandstand, with the bassist playing every single bass note wrong, I thought "enough is enough!!".

In the end of the set, the flutist asked me if I will play with them again, I said, "I will think about it." He replied, "Doesn't sound promising". Hell yeah, it doesn't.

And the leader guy (singer, guitarist) asked me if I wanted a beer, I said, "No I gotta go."

Damn, I don't even bother to have the fuckin' beer!! I just wanna get out of the shit hole, and so I did.

None of that shit again!!

I met a Malaysian in UC Berkeley

Audition's over, I went to play badminton with Mads, since he's from Denmark, a badminton kingdom too.

After the badminton and some racket ball, we went into the locker room to stretch out, and that was then...I saw an Asian guy walking in with the t-shirt that days "Jus Do It Lah".

It looks like a Nike shirt but it has a lot of caricatures on it and the "just" was spelled as "jus", without a T. Right then I knew what that was leading to.

I went straight up to that guy and asked him, "Excuse me, may I know where you got that t-shirt?"

He was like, "Well...I'm a Malaysian..."

JUMP START!! MANGLISH!!

So it appeared that he was from Bandar Utama and has moved here since he was 13.

Then Mads came over and I told him what's the deal. So Mads was like, "Manglish? So is it something like what the Singaporeans say 'Why you so like that?'"

We said yes, but you have to add a "lah" too. HAHA...

Then this Bandar Utama dude started to say things about Manglish, like, "We talk in a more relax way than the Americans. Like in America, people would say 'John! You screwed up!' but in Malaysia it will be, 'Eh John ah, you screwed up lah...'". AHAHAHAHAA!!!

Then he said, "The thing with us Malaysians and Singaporeans is, we know we speak like that, and yet we think it's funny too, so we make fun of ourselves all the time as well."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

Quite an eye-opener eh, Mads?

If I leave this world by chance...

Alright, flying off to San Francisco in 9/11 doesn't sound like such a good idea, but I AM doing it.

Thinking of it, if something happened to me if I died in this flight, I would be the luckiest corpse in the world.

Why?

Because I don't have much that I left behind to worry about.

I'm not married, I don't have kids, I have almost no money in my bank account, I have no house, no loans, no car, nothing. What I have are my parents and my sister, the 3 most important people in my life. And of course, you know some friends, like my bro Ken, my gugu brothers Nicholas and Kee Yong, my high school friends Albert and Chin Keong.

But, just in case some shit really happened to me, I wanna tell all these people that I love you guys, and don't worry about me because I'm leaving this world whole-heartedly. I have done some fun stuff with music, I have met great people, and I have met some pricks too. There's no regrets in my life.

To all you musician motherfuckers in Malaysia, please keep on fighting the good fight! Do NOT go against the system, but do NOT tolerate either!

Fuck yeah bitches! If you see me back in one piece without winning the audition, it's fine. Life goes on. But if you don't see me coming back, just tell yourselves that I'm still here, it's just that I'm too busy to call or e-mail anybody.

Washington DC

The trip to Washington DC was a quick one, but nonetheless a fun one.

We took off from Chinatown at 6pm and arrived there at 11 something. I was staying in the same room with Aaron Shragge the trumpet and shakuhachi player. He's cool, looks like a zen monk with that bald head that he shaves frequently and he does raga with his voice, trumpet, and shakuhachi whenever he has time.

Oh he's a vegan too.

We went to 7-11 after we arrived to look for some food and went to bed after we bought the stuff.

The sleep was brief as we musicians had to wake up at 7am. Aaron woke up at god-knows-when and was starting to do his raga, so naturally he was the one who woke me up.

We went to Kennedy Center that's located next to Watergate. The stage people were pretty nice to us, and since we stepped in, we had a 10-hour day. That was one of my looooooooongest day in my life. Sound check, lighting check, position check, rehearsal, all ran simultaneously. Yuki did some beautiful job on the backdrop behind us, bravo for that!

We were almost dead when we got back to the hotel, but we didn't just stop there. Aaron went out to have Ethiopian dinner with Akim (the Funk Buddha), Akiko (the Funky Geisha), Kai-Ti (road manager), Rain (the video camera guy), Kak Miranti (Balinese dancer), Peter (laptop DJ), and Myla (dancer cum Akim's lady). As for me, Hypno (aka Tommy Chan, my Chinese comrade who does body-popping) called me up to chill in his room with Baba (Israel, MC and beatboxer).

We watched some stuff on the TV and on his laptop too. Apparently his laptop is connected to his home TV cable box, so he could ACTUALLY WATCH HIS SUBSCRIBED CHANNELS in his hotel room, pretty sick ain't it? We watched some Reno 911 too, which made us laugh our asses off.

Later I went on to Peter's room (after they came back) to chill with them, had a few hits which didn't do anything to me, talked some shit, had a cultural interaction with Akiko, see Akim stressing out...etc...

The next day was the performance day, we didn't have to get to Kennedy Center until 11am. So it was quite a relieve for us (why the hell do you think we can chill so long in the previous night, hm?!).

We played two shows, which was extremely well-received. Both shows were full (well, of course, it's partly because it's free...). Akim, Aaron, Angela (aerialist) and Anasma (bellydancer and body-popper) did a short strolling session outside the hall in between shows, too.

We had this really sweet and funny girl Jacqueline to be our caretaker, bringing us food and shit, running around to make sure we're fine. Later after our conversation, I got to know that she's an Indiana U grad who studied piano performance. She said she might move over to New York, having the urge to perform chamber music. I wish her good luck, and hope to see her in the City!

After our shows, Akim and Baba did a really fun (but too short) beatboxing workshop. They taught people the fundamental idea of how to beatbox and it was fun. They even invited all the audiences to dance together, there were a couple of 2-yr-old tiny kids who joined in too, it's soooo funny and yet so cute!

I was planning to stay on for the night and leave the next day. But it seemed like nobody wanted to stay long in DC, most people wanted to leave. I figured I wouldn't have time to visit places in DC the next day anyway, since the bus leaves at 11.50am. So I gave up and followed most people to go back to NYC.

All-in-all, this was a fun experience and definitely a memorable one. This is the first time ever I get to play in such a classy place like this without playing classical music. I hope more will come! And I certainly hope they will come soon...

Mark Feldman vs. Mat Maneri

Yes, they were playing together.

Two giants ---- monsters, if you will ---- shredding on the same stage.

I was almost late because of my rehearsal in Queens. When I rushed into the door, Okkyung Lee was the door person, I couldn't believe it! Haha! Kee Yong was waiting for me right there, and he (and Nicholas) paid for me. Thanks a bunch guys!

Mark and Mat started off with some beautiful dissonants and counter melodies. You can hear them complementing each other, sometimes one would be on top doing the "solo" and the other would be the background. Weaving through waves of sonority, they would occassionally land on a steady groove and start rocking some sick lines.

They played two "tunes" for the set (I dunno how to call it, it's free improv anyway), if not including the encore. Each "tune" was 30 minutes, but you wouldn't feel bored because there are different stuff coming out every time.

Mark has the same old licks that he's been using for the past few decades, but that's Mark, you can't steal that away from him. I feel that his playing is more about the fiery tone and vibrato of his instead of new ideas. But it's cool, like I said, Mark is Mark. As long as it sounds good.

As for Mat, it's all about new ideas and the coolness of his sound. He never likes to play too loud or too much, in oppose to Mark's playing. If Mark is a ball of fire, then Mat is the iceberg. Why do I say iceberg? Because his ideas are so rich that it's like they're all sample of a big iceberg.

So for the whole hour, Mark was shredding his trademark licks, while Mat swam in between his notes with constant new ideas, creating different sounds.

For the encore, Mark started blowing his crazy fast-and-furious lines for sometime while Mat was watching. When he felt it was time, Mat entered, overlapping Mark's, and Mark slowly died down and let Mat shred. Mat blew in full force for about 5 minutes, without any other complements from Mark. It was beautiful...

One thing to complain though, The Stone was hot like hell last night, because they didn't dare to switch the aircond, so that the acoustic sounds of violin and viola would not be interrupted. Everybody was sweating like mad, not to mention the performers!

Anyway, I met Brian Lindgren there in the Stone! We knew each other in Mancini '05, and it was sooo surprising that he came to see the show. I was surprised to know that he actually just arrived the same day and we bumped into each other! I hope his freelancing life in New York will be rewarding and musically satisfying. Good luck Brian!

My noisy room...

My room has 6 windows, it's very bright, I like it... wait... that was during the cold winter. Try now --- hot days. I opened some of my windows to get the air circulating, holy shit... you hear the aircond noise from the Trade Fair supermarket right next to my house, you hear electric drill on the left from a house that is being renovated, you hear cars honking like mad on the streets (and mind you, this happens in sleeping time too), garbage truck roaring, car alarms, people shouting and laughing and yelling outside...

It's noisy!!!!

But seriously, everywhere in New York is noisy, you hardly find peace in this city.

So cursin' is the only solution I have left. At least you let out your feelings.

So if you can't bear with my swear words, I'm sorry, it's your problem. :) But don't mean no bad intention.

My Burning Desire

Ahh yes...

I started to go to see shows again... of course, I only pick those that I can afford...

My burning desire for music is rising again...

I was in QC the other day and I saw this Uzbek percussionist giving masterclass for the percussion cats. Damn, his playing is PERFECT and so moving!! I was utterly amazed by that shit, and it gave me the thrill once again ------ the kind of musical thrill that I had when I first got to New York.

It's coming back again...

I feel that I wanna do some shit... Some shit that will temporarilysatisfy my endless thirst and desire for music...

Here I come motherfuckers, I'm back!!

Devillish Angel

Such an adorable creature
Dark eyes
Silky hair
Brownish skin
Beautiful smile
A smile with blood dripping down
Down to the chin
Chin to the breast

She's gonna suck you dry
Out of your neck
Hard breathing
Soft hissing

She's gonna keep you high
Over your body
Gentle touching
Wet licking

If you see her first time
She's the most angelic
If you see her twice
She makes your heart ache
If you see her third time
Protect her you'd want to

But careful gentlemen
She's the blood sucking
Eye-deceiving
Devillish Angel

Are Chinese all gangsters in America?

Eh budak-budak Holiwud! Apa pasal kamu smua ni?

You think all the Chinese are kungfu fighters and are gangsters or triad members is it?

Blardy hell!

Tengok lah "War", oh my God!!!! Such a bad movie with such a bad message --- revenge. The starting of the movie was ALL about underground night club and naked women in a yakuza district --- yeah I know, they're Japanese, but you get what I mean. Then Jet Li started to kill his victims with every saddistic way possible.

Jet, I thought you're into Buddhism these days and like, REALLLYYY into it? You don't seem like it. You're sending out bad messages to the audiences. Revenge revenge and bloodshed, is this the message you wanna send out to your audiences? Gosh man, I dunno what the hell you're doing in Hollywood! Go back to Hong Kong!!

But it's OK, I can live without your shitty Hollywood films. I also watched Bourne Supremacy. Now THAT'S what I call a great movie!

Well of course, Hollywood is still the one to be blamed, stereotyping Chinese and other Asians. Like you white people have no gangs and triads. Shit...

Constantly misunderstood

Thinking back in my life, my friends from primary, middle, and high school, never really understood ---- or still don't ---- how my life is like. All the more, many of them misunderstood what I do.

Most people would say, "Yeah man, so nice, you study music, so 'senang', no need to study like mad like us! Just play some music and have fun every day."

Now I'm wondering if it's just me or it really is ---- they kinda sounded sarcastic.

What they meant was "you musicians suck at life".

And there was this chick whom I used to like, told me something like this, "I need a man who knows what to do when there's a trouble, for example, when my tyre is flat, he should be able to change it; when I dunno how to pay taxes, he should know how... not a musician."

Eh, hold on a sec... How the hell do you know I dunno all these things? GAWD-DAYUMMM!!

Some would be too nice to me, "You mah good loh~~ Can do what you like and earn so much money!"

Analysis: do what I like? Correct. Earn so much money? How do you know? You think every musician plays in MPO?

The business people would say, "Aiyoooo, you dun understand one lah!! For us, networking is number one! Without networking, there's no business!"

Hello? Do you think music is not a kind of business? Where did you get that idea from? And how the fuck do you know I don't network? I network EVERYDAY!!

Then the ones who went into science or maths field, they'd say, "We go by logic and theory one, not like you only go by feeling and emotion."

Understatement: You're lame, don't think things with reason.

For these kinda people, I would REALLY, I mean REALLYYYY like to ask them to come study the theory of music. See how logical we can be, and how our theory teachers can be cold-blooded assholes like theirs. And I can also say to them, "You're lame, you only have logic, no emotions."

For you who do not understand my job, stop shitting on us and be humble and ask us about it ----- though you'd probably ending up not understanding it still! And for those of you who know a bit of it, please explore more before you drop a statement.

Oh, and for those of you who don't bother to try to understand us, please fuck off. No time for you. (yes... musicians are busy and hardworking people)

Susan Sarah John's new gamelan piece...

Malaysian composer and arranger, Susan Sarah John, is working on a new piece for Hands Percussion Team, a Chinese-Malaysian percussion group that combines all sorts of percussion instruments from different cultures in the world.

This piece uses Javanese gamelan set, 3 Chinese lion dance drums, a drum set, and an electric guitar.

I had the privilege to watch the rehearsal tonight, and I thought it was a beautiful piece.

The guitarist is my friend, Gideon Aluba, a wonderful self-taught musician whom I worked with a couple of years ago. He played some beautiful sound in there, sometimes reminds me of Steve Reich's Electric Counterpoint, because he was playing over the minimalistic and rhythmic gamelan.

Sarah retuned the gamelan set to make it diatonic, it sounded just fine!

I hope to see the real performance, but of course, I won't be here...

Happy 10 years old Hands!!!

Ikon ASEAN 2007

I just came back from playing for the LIVE TV Broadcast of Astro Ria's Ikon ASEAN singing competition.

First of all I have to say I was really really happy with the result. The 4 judges were each from Malaysia (Mac Chew), Indonesia, Phillipines, and Singapore ---- doesn't seem to have much room for shouting "Malaysia Boleh" does it?

Yeah at first I thought this would be just another "Malaysia Boleh" kinda competition --- held in Malaysia, get most of the attendance from Malaysian fans, Malaysian contenstants get cheered at the most, and all awards won by Malaysians (or at least one).

It turned out that it didn't happen that way, which is a good slap in the face for the local contestants.

Let's first talk about the local contestants.

Jaclyn Victor (solo category). She has the technique of singing R&B-ish twist-and-turn lines and ad libs, but she doesn't have the voice and doesn't know how to sing properly either. Also, her choice of repertoire was quite weak, especially the P. Ramlee Medley, nothing could be shown much. With this adding up with her singing that was lacking of emotional depth, it was a failure.

OAG (band category). Bunch of monkeys jumping and stomping on the stage, rolling on the floor, spinning round and round, pitches perfectly out-of-tune, and expect people to buy that this is rock music ... or worse, music. These guys should really go home and revalue their lives living in a dream, thinking that they're the shit and they're already there. A bunch of try-too-hard wannabes, sorry to say.

Indonesia had two representatives too. Can't say they're very good, but the solo singer, Judika, did a pretty good job. The band, Tahta, was just another Malay-rock kinda band. They have the potential, but they should stretch out more.

Finally, the Pinoys! Yes the Phillipinos are awesome. During the rehearsal, I could already sort of tell that they're the winners --- provided that there are no Malaysia-Boleh fetish involved.

The band, KJWAN, kicked off the competition with their song, "Invitation". That was some crazy ass tight shit man! Once I heard the sound, I KNEW this will be the ones who are winning if I were the judges. They really look like great performers, the singer was cool, everybody seemed to be serious about making the music work. Unlike the stupid monkeys jumping around, acting rebellious and shit, thinking that they're inheriting Kurt Cobain's bottle of piss. Tight ensemble, powerful sound, refined technique (the drummer has the kinda touch that I love!), great stage presentation (doesn't mean you have to be like monkey). They're great.

Then it was Vina Morales, the beautiful actress/singer. Damn, was she good! She captured my attention from the first note to the last (despite of her smiling at me during rehearsals, haha!). She has that depth in her voice and phrasing that Jac really didn't have. Yes, maybe her ability to sing like a black mama was not as good as Jac, but technique is not everything. Jac's singing, though flashy at times, didn't touch my heart. But Vina's did. She conquered the judges with music, not technique, that is just so much more important. But of course, she's born with a beautiful voice too.

All in all, I was very happy with the result of the competition, and I thought that the judges made justice to the Pinoys. And I do hope that the Malaysian contestants would get a lesson from this: Being famous in Malaysia is just a beginning, only seriously making music --- with your hard work and heart work --- will make you the real deal, not by posing and syok sendiri on the stage. The four judges taught us a lesson without saying a word, bravo!

End of ranting, my dear Malaysians, 好自为之吧!

2nd Night with the ExperiMENTAL Quartet

The set list was basically the same as the first night.

We kicked off with Manda's Mood, my tune for Amanda. Then "14th Street, St. Nicholas", a tune inspired by my walk with Nicholas in his last night in New York. Then Herbie's Watermelon Man, which we didn't rehearse but came out well. Then it's "In Case A Goodbye" I wrote for Wendy, Julian did a great job on the soprano saxophone!! Finally, we ended the first set with Bored of Bb by Justin, which was the last song in the second set on the first night.

Eugene and his gang came in half way while we were playing Watermelon Man. They said they liked the gig a lot! Li Tinh said she likes "In Case a Goodbye", wahaha! Yeah I like it a lot too, maybe that's my best ballad yet. :P

2nd set started off with "Take The A Train", which we didn't play the originally melody from beginning till the end, only hinting the song by having Justin playing the piano intro somewhere in the middle. The whole song was just improvised over the changes. And when we asked if the audience know what song it is, we didn't accept the answer "Take the A Train", we said "Take the KTM"!

Then we played Justin's Consequently, and his untitled new tune (which we temporarily called it "Justin's New Shit"). After that we played Not 3 Not 4, also by Justin, which sounded so different from our duo and trio version. It's fuller and Eddie added some 1920's humour with his wawa mute.

We closed up with "Days of Guns n' Roses". People were shouting and cheering like mad in that one, haha! Just like a rock concert.

3rd set started of with "A Few Words with JaC", which documented one of my most idiotic moments in my life. It was a duo with Justin, and I think we both played our hearts out in that one. Then Julian and Eddie came back and we played "One Flight Back to Bolehland", my hymn to my beloved country, the "Bolehland" Malaysia. The phasing part was better than the night before.

Then we did "It's... It's Not Funny", our tribute to Ornette Coleman, title inspired by Ken's super funny story. We were stretching wayyyyy wayyyy out tonight, and it was more animated and funny this time. Could it be because we found a title for it? ;)

Finally, we did "Days of Guns n' Roses" once again, because David finally showed up and we wanted him to hear it, also wanted to record it. It sounded better than the one we did in 2nd set.

Quite a night, I have to say!

I surely hope we can do more shit like this, seeing that the audiences actually liked it!!

The ExperiMENTAL Quartet

Had my first show with the ExperiMENTAL Quartet last night in The Top Room, KL.

That was a fun gig, never seen such a great reaction from the crowd doing THIS kinda music.

What kinda music?

You see... we played everything from standards to originals to rock to free jazz to experimental...

I don't suppose KL has ever seen something like this from local musicians.

Our line-up is totally weird too. We do not have drums and bass, only a piano, a violin, a sax and a trumpet.

We were a little worried about the instrumentation at first, but we later sorted it out without thinking too much. The bass is already in the piano, so why worry?

So we focused more on collective improvisation and harmonising and complementing on each other's parts. It worked out perfectly.

Our saxophonist Julian's motto is "I don't give a shit".

We held on to that and did as we feel like on the stage, mixing spontaneity with pre-rehearsed arrangements. We did some funny stuff like playing Take The A Train without playing the head at all --- they know what it is anyway! We also played "The Days of Guns n' Roses".

Yes, you read me right, "The Days of GUNS N' ROSES".

We fused "Sweet Child O' Mine" with Mancini's Days of Wine and Roses. We ended our first set with that. I could see people's faces changing every time we twist the music into another one. That was fun.

We also did free jazz, based on a 3-phrased melody. We stretched out really far and I felt that our souls were transported to somewhere else.

That was a great night! I hope tonight till be a great one too.

My sudden KLIA trip

No, I didn't do no one-night-stand.

No, I didn't even drink.

But I went to KLIA. That's a fact.

I met Julian in Top Room and he said he was going to pick up Chee Meng and his colleagues from LCC Terminal. But then all of a sudden, he said, "Oh shit! I didn't realise that I can't fit 4 people in my little Satria!" So I thought I had a car, why not, I'll go help out!

then we 2 motherfuckers, at 11pm, went to Kajang to have a drink and met up with Ken for a short while, and went straight to KLIA!

Seldom in my life that I do such an impromptu trip --- to a place THAT far away.

I spent some money though. The bloody tolls, dammit! And I used up half a tank of petrol!

I got back home at 4am... and god damn... my mom woke up at the same time...

"Why come home so late?"

"Why spend unnecessary money?!"

"No, don't want you to buy the petrol, you've got enough spending to take care of!"

Well... but I felt happy that I did something fun though... :P

The Price of Having Balls

Sometimes you have to pay the price to have balls to say the truth. I truly respect this guy's balls, and if he gets into jail for this shit, man I'm tellin' you it's worth it because he caused some impact in the society.

Stupid laws about rearranging the national anthem should not stop a man's love to his own country and pointing out the real problem of the society. Furthermore, they SHOULDN'T call that an "arrangement with bad intention", because all I see in the video is the man's concern about his own society and the determination to let people see the problem ---- people who REALLY should know their own problems.

If the government tries to distract the public by focusing on the arrangement of national anthem, then they're trying to avoid the real problem and rotting direction we are heading.

A few years back, a local composer composed a beautiful piece that contains the national anthem in it for the grand opening of the Malaysian Philharmonic. His piece got banned right after the first performance. A beautiful symphonic piece with our national anthem resonating within. It's a piece that expresses the composer's love to his own country, and what's wrong with that? Do you call that "arrangement with bad intention" too? Why do you ban it?

There is NO clear guideline in this law and the authorities is simply using it as they like to stabilise their own political power. Dirty!

http://www.sinchew-i.com/article.phtml?artid=200707183196&data=scnews&spid=38359

New CDs...

One funny thing about local pirated audio CDs (local as in Malaysia) is that they like to put in some "bonus tracks" after all the "real" tracks of that particular album.

The other night I went to the pasar malam near my house all 3 for 10 ringgit.

I got Linkin Park's newest album, "Minutes to Midnight". It's a new sound for this band, no more DJ-ing and less rapping. They focus on live sound this time. The band is tight, but the overall effect isn't too exciting. Good try, can be better though.

Next is the new album by Audioslave, "Revelation". Very typical Audioslave sound, always enjoying the special guitar solo sound in the band. It's interesting to listen to this ex-Rage Against the Machine band making a whole different sound that still works at its own rights.

Finally a Chinese album from Taiwan by A-Yue (張震嶽), "OK". Yeah, very typical sound by him, but not as naughty as before. His way of writing lyrics is really unrefined, but I guess that's already become his style --- so that it sounds like improvising. Guess he's one of the few people in the Chinese scene that's really "playing" music and having "fun" with it.

Don't you hipocrites scold me for buying pirated! I just wanna test the music out before I want to buy the real shit. If it's not good, why the fuck do I need to buy the real thing?

And to you people who release the albums, if you want people to buy your shit, you better convince people to buy the real thing by making great music so that people feel worth it!

DONE!!!!!!!!

So, yes, it's over, the show in KLPac is over...

It was a full house, plus 30 extra seats...

People applauded and yelled like crazy...

Uncle and aunty Teoh was here... :)

Aunty Teoh said she was touched by "One for Wendy, In Case a Goodbye" --- both by the title and the song.

Sherwin was moved by "A Few Words with JaC"...

All of them are my chick songs...haha...

But I'm really glad that KLPac invited me for this shit, really appreciate it!

And Justin, Joseph, both of you motherfuckers, thanks for making my show happening! You're the best!!

The Much Awaited Day...

July 12... today...

I remember I was first approached by Marge earlier this year, asking me to do a concerto appearance with KLPac Sinfonietta in KLPac's HSBC String Festival.

I agreed without thinking twice, as it has always been my dream to be invited back home someday and be recognised by my own people. And so the time has come.

The programme was later changed because, after knowing that I play other music too, they want more variety added into the festival. They asked me to do a jazz show.

I told them I will have Justin on the piano and Joseph on the bass --- the two most amazing musicians I've ever known in KL. And I'm very glad that both of them agreed without hesitation.

So I figured that since this is something new, we should play something new too! So Justin and me started to write some new music, preparing to play an all-original programme.

Show's tonight, let's see what damage we can do!

Ponty

I suddenly realised that I've never documented my Ponty experience, which I should.

This guy is like 60+ but he still plays so perfectly, gosh, I don't believe it!

His playing is not as explosive as when he was younger, but nevertheless, he still sounds fantastic.

Not really into the kind of music he is playing now though, too much funk stuff. I mean I'm cool with funk, but I can't stand a whole night of it. But I kinda expected that he wasn't going to play shit that I'm really into, but I felt that I should be that because he's one my heroes, and I want to see how he uses his bow --- he told me that he is still practising Sevcik and Paganini every day now.

Now THAT'S impressive.

I could totally see the influence of those exercises when he plays. He's got an almost perfect bowstroke on everything he wants to play, the left hand and right hand coordination was completely flawless. Also, when he did all the alternating bowings, he never seem to have lost his time feel ---- everything was still in the pocket.

Fuck yeah...

Tried to meet him at the end of the concert, but of course, couldn't.

I wanted to thank him in person, for accepting my e-mail interviews when I was doing my undergraduate final paper.

Just in case you're reading this Jean-Luc, thank you!

My visa shit...

I dunno why would this happen.

I told her that I am supposed to get the visa before July 5. She just didn't get it.

Now I dunno what is going to happen to me.

Hope I'm not fucked.

...

Damn...

.38

"You better stop," he told himself, "this is totally not worth it! Not at all!"

Maybe she meant a lot to him, more than himself, but he doesn't worth anything to her.

Plus, she already had someone.

He logged on to his Friendster, he's not among her top friends, same thing happened in Facebook -- after all these that he had done to her.

He began to wonder why.

Girls are hard to understand, he told himself.

Is that really so?

Night. He was scratching his head, sipping his beer, getting dizzier and dizzier. He looked at himself in the mirror. All of a sudden, he thought he was the ugliest and weakest motherfucker on earth.

There went the bottle.

The mirror smashed, but his hands just got started to punched the remaining pieces on the frame. Blood splattering. Fists painted in crimson.

He panted like a beasts, twisted open another bottle cover, kissed the bottle for a sip.

* * * * * *

She gave Frank a deep stamp on the lips.

"Don't worry baby," she told him, "however well he treated me, you're still the only one for me."

* * * * * *

His fists stopped bleeding, his eyes closed, his chests still rising and falling for more oxygen.

"You better stop man," he told himself, "you don't mean shit to her. You better stop NOW..."

Tears flowing.

Last drops of beer dripping.

All he wished is he had a .38. Yes, .38 is enough. Enough to finish himself.

A Tribute to Leroy Jenkins

The death of a legend is a loss.

But in the same time, it indicates the starting of a test --- a test that would ultimately show how persistent is one's work through time, how long does it sustain.

For Leroy Jenkins' case, his test just started.

However, nobody can deny his influence towards all of us improvising string players. As I wrote in the Leroy Jenkins guestbook: Thanks for bringing us OUT of the box ----- WAYYYY out of the box!

The piece was "New York" by Jenkins.

The size of the ensemble, approximately 40 string players. (50 is not true if you look at it in a glance)

I was lucky enough to be invited to play in this event and play with great musicians like Reggie Workman, Ken Filiano, Mark Feldman, Jason Kao Hwang, Ron Lawrence, Mark Chung, etc.

Billy Bang was the director.

During the rehearsal, a guy came over to my stand and asked me, "Can I share with you?"

I looked up, it was Mark Feldman.

Crazy shit, haha! (Jules, u know what I mean...)

Yeah so we stood together and play, even in the concert too.

Jing Wen came, I was really happy, made my day.

Also met some other people I know, very very random... Guess Leroy Jenkins will pass his test after all. :P

Blue In Green

Back to NY...

Was listening to Miles Davis' Blue in Green, got me emo... whenever I hear it, I get emo...

It's a whole different life now, I feel.

My lil sister moved in, have a little feeling of responsibility to look after, which I think is a good thing. I've been all by myself a little too long, like a leaf that floats on water, drifing everywhere without a direction.

At least now I have someone to relate to, and someone who would share her thoughts and talk to me...

Met Kee Yong and his family today, he's got a cute and lively daughter, his wife is very nice too. Beautiful little family.

Also met Nicholas again just now, brought lil sis and Kee Yong together.

I will say bye bye to this place again in two weeks... strange feeling...

Someone say I'm a "flying man", well, for these two months, maybe I am...

Night time now... ready to get a beer and sleep...

Madison, Wisconsin -- La Salle-Peru, IIlinois

It's almost the end of my trip, so I think I should write down bits and pieces of experience I had here.

It's been a wonderful trip, I have to say, mainly because of the superb hospitality that Chien and Jenny provided for me in Madison. The host family in Illinois, Jim and Chris Coughlin were also great hosts that gave us a lot of convenience.

I had so much fun in Madison, not because there were much to do here, simply because it's so relaxing here. Had so much time spent with Ka Ming, one of the nicest chaps and budding violin virtuoso.

Chien brought me to his favourite acitivity: Fishing.

That the first time in my life fishing for real, it was fun! And Chien told me that I learned very fast.

So I went to shore fishing, fly fishing, and boat fishing. We might go to cat fishing, because he wants me to take a picture with a big fish before I go home.

If Madison is relaxing, then La Salle-Peru, Illinois, would totally stop human evolution.

It's almos an all-white town, u hardly see one Asian there. People are very nice and also conservative and religious.

The Maud Powell Music Festival was alright. My job was basically playing in the pit orchestra and also playing in the institute orchestra, helping the kids to play in an ensemble.

I found good food in Peru: Grilled chicken with Bourbon sauce from Mike's Place!

I'm not exaggerating, that was one of the best chicken I ever. Anybody that tried it would be hooked by it!

In the festival, my improvisational skill came to use, when Dr David Becker, our conductor found out that I can improvise and asked me to improvise in the encore piece, Hoedown. It's a country song, and I had to play bluegrass style!! Oh my fuckin' God, I failed an audition in New York before because I couldn't really play bluegrass,and now I'm asked to play it IN FRONT of a bunch of MIDWESTERNERS?!!

I took it anyway, and it turned out well.

Also, the man-in-charge of Powell Festival, Dr Kevin McMahon, also asked me to fill in for a group that cancelled their performance in the final day outdoor performance. I wrote two very simple tunes to play with bassist Dave. I used all the gimmicks I know, like bow chops and electric guitar sound, because I know people here have never even heard of jazz violin.

It was effective! They loved it and wondered how the hell can I do all those sound.

Funny thing was I played right after the great violinist, Rachel Barton. Later she asked me how did I learn all those things... I didn't know how to answer her, hehe...

Chien's Quote of the Day

"You must learn to fake, my son."

--- Goh Chia-Chien


*Chien made this comment after he found out that his student couldn't play with the ensemble and looked dumb. So he told him he used to get paid 50,000 bucks a year to fake professionally.

Cliche

It is true

It is the end of the story

And also a continuation of mine

Or rather

A repitition

It is nothing but a joke

So are my stories

Done at last!!

At last...this is the last words I will type inside the bathroom studio. No more...

First thing in the morning after I woke up (except brushing my teeth) was recording the "A natural" version of the "Road to Fang Fang" cue.

Fuck you Ken. Fuck you very much.

But I'm glad that it's done!!!

48K 16-bit... bullshit...

I'm going back to real music-making.

48K 16-Bit

Why the fuck do you movie people use this sample format anyway? Pisses me off!!

Luckily I figured a (very mafan/troublesome) way to do it!!

Otherwise your movie is fucked!!

My ultra-simple home studio

No, it's not in my home.

It's in my friend's place in Madison, Wisconsin. Oh yeah, that's where I am right now.

Nope, it's not in a garage or anything like that.

It's in a bathroom in the basement.

Don't laugh, it's true. It's the only most quiet place in the house.

The equipment:

My stupid DELL laptop that has a flashing screen
A pair of Creative speakers that I got from Chien
An MD mic
A pair of headphones/earphones (at first it was headphones, but I later found a pair of earphones from Jenny, Chien's wife)

That's it?! Yes. That's it.

So now what? Record of course!

So my buddy Ka Ming and me started to get stuck in the room for a looooooong time.

It's much harder than recording in a studio. It's fucking frustrating because we're under equipped! Not like some big equipments but we're just under equipped of a headphone splitters.

So Ka Ming had to listen to the headphones while I follow his cues. You know how frustrating it is and how many times we fucked up?!!!

Gosh...

We have to play every part by our own, overdubbing and overdubbing until we could remember every single part!!

We don't have a cellist yet, she's coming in on Tuesday.

Wish me luck...

Oh by the way, what's the project?

Giovanni Chen's 30-minute short "The Wait"
Music by Ken Hor (aka Ken Whore)
The cue is "Closing Theme", calling for a string orchestra without doublebass
Cues to come: Road to Fang Fang, scored for solo violin and piano
Fang Fang Opening, scored for string orchestra without doublebass

Dammit... I wish this will be over soon...

The Use of Midi Strings

Seriously, I never liked the sound of Midi strings in recordings. It's so fake, artificial, plastic, emotionless...

I would go all the way to oppose the usage of it in any recordings!

One exception though: If you are in a place where you can't find string players that play in tune.

Sometimes when you talk about the genuine sound of live strings, you tend to forget to consider the realistic problem. Do you want the real sound but out of tune, or a fake sound, but in tune?

Personally I would go for the one in tune. Fake strings, though fake as it is, intonation will still be there; as for out-of-tune real strings,what for we need them if it bugs our ears?

So, if it's in Hollywood, yeah, fuck Midi! We go for the real shit.

But if it's not in a very musically inclined part of the world, hm...think again.

Doubts Beyond Sense

And there he came back
From his useless worries
Doubts beyond sense

It wasn't coincidence
It happened for a reason
And it taught him great lessons
Lessons of patience
Patience in waiting

Outreach

And so he reached out his hand
Trying to touch another dimension
That he couldn't smell or hear
Seems like stupidity
But for him, makes the most sense
He believed
He trusted
And he wondered
Wondering if trance would help
Or cross-dimension capsule would
Perhaps the electrical wire would do?
Or simply the cable would send him there?
To see her
Once and for all

My Most Indecisive Time in My Life

Yup, it's now...

I'm nervous and afraid...

Is it really like what it seems?

Am I thinking too much?

I think I'm crazy...

Maybe she doesn't mean that at all, and I'm just imagining things...

It always happens...

Never did making such a big sacrifice for something like this...

Wish me luck...

LIRR's Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration

I was pleasantly surprised by the call I got a few weeks ago from Long Island Rail Road, asking me to play for their Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration.

Today was the gig, I woke up pretty early in the morning, which was quite surprising, then I rushed to the Woodside Station to catch the train to LIRR's Hillside Maintenance side. LIRR provided the tickets to me!

My performance was after a talk by Harendra Sirisenda, a Sri Lankan scholar.

Funny shit was, the announcer pronunced my name as "Choi". WTF?!

Even funnier thing was, once he introduced me, he told the audiences to start having their food! Haha!

OK, so I was kind of an entertainer there. But hey, I get good money, why not?

So, whole-heartedly, I started my first piece, which was an untitled spontaneous improvisation. Some people actually sat down and listened to it, and clapped after I was done. Nice. So I continued finishing my programme by playing "Night at the Fishermen's Boat" and "Joy of Spring" --- two Chinese tunes that I can never forget in my life, as I've played it soooooo many times! Hehe...

Anyway, that's my gig today, not bad... Was fun, pressureless.

hm...

Sometimes I wonder, if I were to have someone in my life, what would it be like?

Does she have to be a musician?

Let's say if she is a musician and is also a much badder motherfucker? How would I respond to it?

I always thought that I would be ashamed of myself for not being compatible to her, until Pete gave me a good slap in the face today.

He said, "Dude, this ain't fuckin' 15th century! Who gives a shit if your girl is badder than u? If she is, you should be proud of her. See?"

Wise words from Pete, but it is indeed very simple. I know this logic deep inside, but maybe I forgot to apply it to myself.

Then some shit that I told the UPM kids popped into my mind.

I told them, "You are what you are and nobody will snatch it away from you. There's always some quality that you have, people don't have. So when you see people better than you, you don't have to be afraid or lose your self esteem, because they might be jealous of your quality that they could never have --- while you don't even realize!"

I said this shit. And now I forgot about it! Ha!

The Man up there created us differently, but I believe that different people has different functions (or "purpose" like some religious people would call it) in this world. If we don't think that we are useless and start fully utilizing our very unique quality, we will serve that function. Thus nobody's ability and talent should be over-praised nor to be looked down at.

I was rehearsing in One World Symphony today, playing Shostakovich's Symphony No.10, had some fun, though it was still a little sloppy in some parts. As I was playing, I felt such rush and contentment inside that I was sort of inspired.

It wasn't the first time I had that feeling while playing, but this time it opens my thoughts up, and made me understood that why my concern was pure nonsense, as well as why Pete called me a "cock" when I told him about it.

Cuz I guess when you reach that state of mind while playing, you wouldn't even worry if your other half is Janine Jensen or Julia Fischer!

What Have I Become in New York?

Sometimes I'll ask myself: What have I become after I came to New York?

For that, I have to recall how I was before I came here.

Let's see...

I have already started to gig around in KL before I came here --- a freelance musician, if you will. So that was pretty much what I'm doing now. But I wasn't as good as knowing people and network as now, that's for sure.

I was loud and talkative back then, but never as loud to voice out what I think or ask for what I deserve.

Knowing these facts tells me that I'm already a totally different person now.

There are both sides of such characteristics: I've either turned into a friendly person who is brave enough to say what he thinks, or I've become a fake socializing ass and a demanding little bastard.

I'm usually pretty careful with not crossing the thin line to the negative side of it but sometimes I still did it subconsciously.

What else have I become? Hm...

I know that I don't talk as much back home, for I'm always home alone, doing my thing. I've becoming quiet most of the time, and dark... I see things differently, often negative and pessimistic... and I'm colder than before, I don't feel for many things as before, I would stand there and watch the changing of a certain situation or issue...

"What have I become?"

Whenever I ask myself this question, and when these answers popped up to me, the words of the wise old man started to resonate in my head once again, he said,

"This is a place where you get it, or you lose it."

MET MET MET MET~~

Bitch yeah I watched the MET!!!!!

Man, they're so great man, now I see why they're regarded as the best among the US orchestras!! NYPO is nowhere near that!

The ensemble, and the sound, it comes right into your face, unlike the Phil players, sitting there like working an office job, with no passion and intensity.

David Chan, the concertmaster, holy shit man, he's a motherfucker!! His tone is so round and big, and his technique is just flawless!! But the music he makes man, THAT'S the shit I'm talking about!!! I haven't seen a violinist like that on the stage for quite some time, it's even rare among soloists!

Levine's conducting was simple and clear. He never does big movements, but you know what he wanted ---- even from the back.

But of course, it takes a great orchestra to carry out the conductor's intention.

The orchestra's response to a bit was EXACTLY half a beat delay --- no matter what tempo Levine took. They followed him as tight as superglue!

The result of the delayed response, was the round and bubble-like sound.

Damn it was good!

GO MET!!! GO MET!!!

Ray Pizzi's quote of the day

"stop confusing with pertinent questions!"

Do I need a title for this?

It's 12:42pm

Moon is bright

Out to buy a bagel

Smell roti canai instead

Wind's cold

T-shirt, shorts and slippers are just nice

Life's hectic

Sit down and have a teh tarik

Lonely here

Furiosity there

Oh my one whole brain

Splitted mind in 2

New York

Kuala Lumpur

A Day of being a Tour Guide

Met up with HZ and her parents today, for the first time. HZ is 12 and very talented, hardworking, and smart. Very nicely brought-up too. Her parents are very cool ones, just like my own parents, they're not those "super-star" parents who want to make their child a prodigy ------- the reason I use the word "make" is because their children are simply not prodigies. They're very down-to-earth.

So I brought them to lunch, but they paid for me instead, thanking me for spending time with them...sigh... malulah, I just feel that I should do that and help my fellow countrymen as much as I can, no need any return lah...

But anyways, I led them to walk from 51 St to Lincoln Center ---- from the willingness to walk, I could tell that they're very sporting also, again, like my parents! Haha...

Then I brought them to see Juilliard, didn't plan to smuggle them into the building because I'm not a Juilliard student. But then, man oh man, ain't that a bitch? Mr. Etienne Charles appeared in front of me waving his hand!

Damn, was he nice! He took the initiative to ask HZ if she wants to take a look at the school, and then signed all of us in.

So he showed us the facilities they have and shit. Even I haven't really seen those things, having been to Juilliard a few times. Thanks to him, I got to see them!

During the visit, I met Zhou Tian in the computer lab, printing his music, obviously. Then we met Andrea, the Canadian cellist from HMI 2006, while waiting for the elevator! Funny thing is, Jeremy just mentioned about her the other day.

After the little Juilliard tour, I brought them to Kaufman Center for HZ's hour-long practice session. Man, one hour sounds pretty short to me, I hope she had enough time...

Then I brought them to walk around to see Times Square, then to Rockerfeller Center, then to St. Patrick's, until little HZ started to turn extremely tired and sleepy. Understandable, it's the jetlag. She's been pretty persistent in walking with us without making a noise, which I was pretty impressed.

So we went to Sapporo to eat ramen --- again, malunya~~ they paid for it again.

Then I sent them back to their hotel. At the entrance of the hotel, little HZ handed me a treble-clef-shaped Carnegie Hall pencil as a gift. She's such a sweetheart! Then she handed me another gift from Chong Lim. Man... u shouldn't have!! Anyway, I miss our movie sessions man, I will be back soon and make sure to hang out with you again!

x x x x

Then I went to watch Chris Potter, Miguel Zenon and Antonio Sanchez playing in 55 Bar.

What more can I say??

They're the definition of "badass mouthafuckas"!!!!

Not 6 though!

Wow, our first show ever wasn't having 6 audiences! There were more than 10 people in the choral room!

The prophecy has been destroyed!!

Good thing was, people dug our shit.

Our gig in Hope, too, went well. There weren't many people, but again, people dug our shit. And thanks to Akim, the atmosphere of the set was being stirred to the highest!

Thanks to Meesh and Brando --- my dear colleagues; and also thanks to my buddy Jeremy on the amazing cello playing! Special thanks to Francesca for providing us a thicker texture in Queens College!

Love you all~

What's up with the number "6"?

So there were 6 people in the audience.

What's up with that? There were also 6 people in the 169 Bar gig.

Does "6" hold some kind of a secret?

Maybe I should fulfilled the Devil's number "666" to get some more audiences?

So let's see if I get another 6 people for my next show, haha!

But who gives a fuck how many people came? Justin and me had great fun!! Goddammit, that's more important!!

Yeah man, we recorded that shit, wanna listen how it sounded like.

I'm glad that Nicholas was there, and another fellow Malaysian, Debbie, Just's girlfriend was there too. Always good to have Malaysians around! Too bad Kee Yong had to cancel the night before because he had interview to do.

Justin's piece "Not Three, Not Four" was really some shit, I can't stop singing it even till now (now that I'm drunk). Man, this guy's a motherfucker, he deserves wider recognition, seriously!!

I thought my pieces worked well too, except "Welcome Mr. Lim!!" which we both screwed up a bit, haha!!

We four Malaysians went to a Korean BBQ place after the show, we're happy and content.

Man, I wish to have the same kinda fun when I go home for KL PAC this July. Similar materials will be played.

Thanks Michelle for playing for us! Really appreciate it!! You sounded fantastic on my tunes, and thanks for liking my tunes! It's always wonderful to know that a great musician likes my shit.

Welcome Mr Lim!!

Don't be confused by the title, Justin has been in town since Tuesday. This title is just the title of a tune I wrote to "welcome" him.

Welcome indeed, it's hard for a pianist to play it. HAHA!

We're gonna perform today. I couldn't sleep anymore, too excited!!

OK, I need to copy a nice-looking "A Few Words with JaC".

Will be back later, after the show.

This Town

Jiyoun told me she has a crazy life here in the City.

"How so?" I asked. She couldn't answer. After a moment of thoughts, she replied, "I feel I'm getting old."

I said she's just a couple years older than me, why old?

She said not the age --- she feels old inside. She said time runs away so fast in this town, and so little is achieved.

I told her I have the same feeling, I can't really tell if I'm empty or lonely here. Can't be lonely right? I have so many friends here. But I've never felt content.

She agreed with me, she felt the same.

xxxxxxx

I met an old wise man in Brooklyn who lived here for more than 30 years.

I asked him what does he think of the City?

He gave me a simple yet deep answer, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."

xxxxxxx

We're both people from another place foreign to this town. We're here because we're searching for something.

After our conversation on the train, the wise man's words were ringing in my head, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."

...this is a place where you get it, or lose it.

Epilogue of a Daydream

He sat in front of the computer screen for two hours, doing nothing but waiting for her reply.

Yet she didn't.

She used to be enthusiastic since last week. She said hi herself once he popped up online, she talked a lot, laughed at his jokes, playing online games together.

She told him she was lonely, that she's tired waiting for the one she's been waiting for.

He happily accepted her invitation to her world.

He went online on time, tried to make her happy and cheer her up.

And now it's dead silence. Dead silence since 5 days ago.

He didn't understand what happened. Is she alright? Hm... since she's online, she shuold be OK, right?...

x x x x x x x

She typed in a few words and pressed "Enter".

On the white chat window it said, "Happy to see you back, baby! I miss you so much! Promise me you won't live me again!"

The reply was, "I never did, and I never will. I was just to busy, forgive me hon."

She smiled.

x x x x x x x

A nightmare shook him awake and he didn't remember what it was about.

The air was cold, the sky was very dark. Maybe a few stars and a pale moon.

The clock pointed at 4am.

He shut down the machine and went to bed with all question marks filling his chest.

Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra

I recently heard some news of the Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra.

Totally depressed.

They always say they need locals to be in it, but then? They tell you you're too young and shit.

Fuck that man!!

Why can't you let a local to be in the assistant principal position ---- one who happens to play so well, studied with Janos Starker and Joel Krosnick?!!

It's completely stupid!!!

Yeah right you want locals... you're bunch of racists you motherfuckers! TRAITORS if not racists!!

Oh, people played a great audition who got a full applause and you don't give her the job?!!

Is this how you treat your fellow countrymen?!!

God dammit!!

Let me tell you, Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra! I'm not gonna join you unless you change your attitude!! NOT IN MY FUCKIN' LIFE!!!!

被绑 Kidnapped

他悠悠醒转,眼皮外是一片昏暗,唯有烛光似的微微亮光在半空中摇摇晃晃，但因为刚睁开眼睛，所以还没对焦，不敢肯定是否真是烛光。

他相当镇定，一动不动的在思考到底是怎么回事。

他感觉到自己是直立的，可是脚底没有地面的触感 ---- 原来自己是凌空的。进而发觉自己双臂是往上吊的。过不久还全身感到一股寒意 ---- 原来衣服被人剥光了。

他想叫喊，可是这才知道自己嘴里不知道什么时候多了一颗鸭蛋大的球体，只听到喉咙里咕噜咕噜几声，就再也发不出什么声音了。

这时他眼睛已经慢慢适应了环境，开始东张西望。当然也看不到什么东西，就只看到摇曳的亮光原来是火把，不是烛光。同时也看到了自己四周是石砌的墙壁，连地面，面前的一小段不知往上通去哪里的梯级，都是方形大石块砌成的。

女孩不知道什么时候从梯级鬼魅似的移动下来，身上裹着白袍，配上她洁净且无一丝瑕疵的完美肌肤，丰厚诱人的红唇，以及海蓝蓝的一双眼睛，活像个古希腊女神。她手上握着一件由皮革包起来的东西，略呈棒形，却不知道是什么玩意儿。

看到这么美艳绝伦的女子，他反而害怕起来，心里在歇斯底里的狂叫，偏生嘴里只能发出“呜呜”两声，整个胸腔快裂开似的。

女孩噗哧一笑，娇滴滴的道：“你呀，就是这么胆小，人家跟你玩玩你也怕成这个样子！”说着竟顺手在他左脸上抽了一记耳光，脸上还是那可爱的笑容。

这耳光还真不是开玩笑的，他脸上马上红肿了起来。糟的是他要喊痛也没有机会，只有眼泪直冒的份儿。

女孩竟怜惜地道: “哎哟哎哟,哭啦?对不起宝贝，我可是用最小的力气了呢！我平时可以打得更狠呢，像这样！”话音未落，又是一记耳光扫在他右颊上。这一次可真痛到他心扉里面去了，脸上还温温的流了一道鲜血。

他又气又恨，没来由的被凌空吊在这鬼地方，还被无端端的抽了两个耳光，可就是苦于不能放声大骂。

女孩又怜惜的说：“哎哟，还留血了啊？真没用呢！”语音中又带点调皮的气息，要不是在这种环境之下，他肯定会被她迷倒。

“你别以为我光会打你，我待你可好的呢！”说着她已走到一张他之前没有注意到的小桌子前，把皮卷轻轻放在桌上，哗啦的一声把它摊开。

他这一惊可是非同小可：皮卷里包的原来净是刀子啊，鞭子啊，还有许多不可名状的刑具跟武器！！

他额头直冒冷汗，呼吸急促且不稳定 ---- 他知道自己这一次完了。

还是叫不出来，可是喉咙比之前更加卖力的挤出一些令人听了胆颤心寒的怪声音，是那么悲戚绝望。

女孩说：“你到喊喊，不然会很不舒服的。”说着就走过来把他嘴里的球体拉开。

他不假思索的就大骂：“你这疯婊子！！你想干嘛？！！操你奶奶的雄啊！！！我操，你到底想把我怎样？！！”

女孩还是跟之前一样悠然自得的说：“哎哟，你嚷什么嚷啊？我说啊亲爱的，你要选哪一件来玩？”说着把双手对着桌子摊开。

“他妈的谁来跟你玩啊？！！！你快放我走！！！放我走啊！！！！！！要不然外面有人听到了我的求救声去叫警察的话，你自己也没戏唱了！！！”

女孩娇嗔道：“谁说人家会听到啦？这石墙可牢固呢！哎哟，你还是快快选自己喜欢的玩具啦！又是你自己说要玩的。”

“谁来跟你玩？！！！臭疯婆娘！！！”他这样说的当儿，她已经把一把像雕木头的用的刀子举了起来，一步一步驱近。

“你干嘛？！！你想干什么？！！你...！！”话还没说完，胸口一疼，接着小溪般的鲜血就开始冒出。那道痕少说也有七寸长。

他这回终于确定她是来真的了。绝望之下，叫骂声竟然变成了恳求声：“你干嘛要这样啊？？呜...呜...为什么就没来由的就把我抓来这种地方拿我来开玩笑啊？？求求你放了我吧！！大恩大德永生不忘啊！！”

女孩把白袍脱了，露出被黑皮条紧绑着的诱人美体。

他看得目瞪口呆 --- 这疯女人到底想怎样？！！

女子又拿起刀子，口里说道：“谁说我没来由了？是你自己说要玩的。我可是爱你爱得不得了哪，才带你来玩的。又是你自己说要我这样穿要我去买这些器具的。”

男人的头好像被重量级拳手重重敲了一下似的，有点晕眩：他终于知道事情的真相了！！

原来眼前这个自己完全不认识的女孩是自己在MSN上大概一个月前恶作剧的对象，说要跟她玩S/M。

看来是咎由自取了。

女孩又是一刀又是一鞭的，他只有凄厉惨叫跟挣扎的份。

她脸上现出了一个心满意足的微笑...

The End of the World

Sky, entirely orange, thickened by rolling clouds and grumbling thunder, with an eye of a spiral in the middle, ever spinning.

Earth, bare, dry, and liveless, not even a crow could be seen.

They seem so close together, the sky and the earth.

But when he appeared in between, one could see there were more space than one would imagine, under that visual condition. Thus, it puts a man to shame to see how tiny he was.

But that simply didn't mean anything now.

The end is near, and he was the last one.

No, he was not, his laptop was still alive.

He was stripped naked, dirt and dust all over his body. He felt hot and dry, thirst of water but didn't have a drop since 5 days ago. His only companion now was his laptop that for some reason was still alive without battery, and still online.

The girl on the other end might have been rotten or done pecking by hungry crows for days. That end should be a place called the United Kingdom or Britain, or some called it England, before the world fell apart.

He remember that the last thing she told him while having a casual conversation was "If the world comes to an end, I pray to God don't let me be the last one to die!" While he replied, "No, let me be the last one to die, cuz I have nothing, just a lonesome figure in the human world, waiting for his doom someday, it makes no difference whether I live longer or shorter."

This was a promise he sort of made for fun, not without his usual bitterness towards his own love life --- always falling in love with the wrong girls on the net.

But not so much later, he found out that there really was such thing as "God is listening to your prayer".

His wish was granted. Now he is walking alone, tired, weak, but still far away from death, with his laptop that has a chat window that connects to the other end that will never respond.

But once in a while, he would type in a few words and send it over to her. That's her only way of feeling like a human ---- that's what they said: Human needs companion.

He kept on walking on earth for about a week more, when he finally really really exhausted, and realised that the end is near for him. He collapsed.

His fingers were still noodling over the keyboard, his spelling was still precise even though his fingers were trembling.

Slowly and surely he typed.

"My our has come, my love. I feel proud to be the last human being to witness it all. I'm in pain, great pain. I'm hungry, thirsty, and tired. In fact I do not know what kept me alive till now. My skin is burning because of the heat of the ground I'm laying on now, it kills my nerves! But I still do not regret dying for you, my love. It is my greatest pleasure in my life. Goodbye, and hello..."

Enter.

And the battery went off.

Silence.

Darkness.

Bunch of CRAP!

There are a certain kind of people in this world, who are a bunch of motherfuckin' idiots and think that they are great and in high places and try to step on you like you're nothing more than an ant.

This kinda people exists everywhere in the world but sadly, they especially like to appear in a place that provides the best job one can have in my dear country.

They don't look at how good you are, or how capable one can be.

They look at how old you are.

Yes.

When you catch a big fish, you think you can catch a bigger one, and let it go just like that, doesn't that just mean you're fuckin' stupid?

I think so, personally.

I dunno why this kinda fucked up policy exists, and I also don't understand why that kinda people is running that place.

If they think they can save the day by trying to show how superior they are, they're wrong. They won't save the day, and instead, they will ruin themselves first for sure. Isn't that coming true nowadays?

See how many people would still wanna put up with your stuck up attitude and all that bullshit you give to people who come to admire your ass? If you don't wanna wake up, it's fine with me. But I wanna tell you that the dream is over, muthafucka!

Get over it!

CHONG KEE YONG IS IN TOWWWWNNNN~~~~!!!

OK, now I'm really excited!!

Why?!!

Because one of Malaysia's leading composers in HERE in NYC!!!

Yes, that's the guy who won so many MPO composers forum!!!

Chong Kee Yong is his name, or "Kee Yong Chong", like the stupid westerners call him usually.

He recently worked with Ensemble Modern ---- one of the best contemporary ensembles in Europe!! Now what more do I have to say how kick-ass he is?

Kee Yong gave me an email this morning, telling me that he already arrived, so I called him up. I hope we can work some shit out during his 6-month period here...

I'm meeting him up tomorrow to makan lunch!!

My upcoming gigs

I know, I seldom write to promote my own gigs, but this time it's different: It's really my gig.

So here we go:

Justin Lim Fang Yee, my old buddy since UPM, is coming over to New York to have some fun before he leaves the US. So I decided to put on a show with him on the 11th of May in Room 264 (Choral Room) in the Aaron Copland School of Music at Queens College. This is a piano and violin duo concert that also will be featuring our wonderful and nonetheless beautiful guest guitarist, Michelle Marie. Repertoire will be our own originals, you don't wanna miss out if you're around town! The time is 12pm, a little odd, but for freelancers, you might stand a chance to make it! :D

My band, the newly formed Project Taming Sari is going to do our debut recital less than one week after my show with Justin. This time, my crazy cellist brother Jeremy Harman is going to play with us throughout the gig. So it's Project Taming Sari overlapping the Evil Twin!! How sweet is that?? The date is May 16th, the time will be 8pm, also in Room 264, a.k.a. Choral Room, in ACSM, Queens College. Guest appearance: Francesca Han Jiyoun, my Korean "sidegirl" (as she called her position in my band,hehe...) We will be playing some of our original spacey jazz originals, as well as a couple of standards.

Uh uh, not so fast! If you can't make it to the 8pm set, don't worry, we will be waiting for you to show up at 11pm in Hope Lounge the same night! Hope Lounge is located in Williamsburg, the address is "10 Hope St. (Between Roebling and Havemeyer)". No cover (yay!!). Very cozy place, wonderful drinks. The music will be similar to the ones in Queens College, but Francesca won't be appearing in this set unfortunately, since they do not own a piano there. Don't worry, we will have Akim Funk Buddha to jam with us!!

Need anymore info? Drop me a comment and I will be sure to get back to you.

沉迷 Complete Obsession

他把电脑打开。 为的只是看着桌面上的照片。也许那是他每天觉得最幸福的事情。

他自认一无所有，能够得到安慰的就是从桌面上那张她的照片;尽管她是一个他完全没有见过的一个人 --- 他甚至可以假设这个人的不存在。

一早起来，不散步不做运动没关系，他享受那几秒钟的心跳加速，觉得那比任何费力的体操都有效。

他笑了，一副很满足的表情。

“今天下午再打开来看看...希望她在那一头也一样的在惦记着我，更希望下一次上网会再见到她!”他是这样告诉自己的。

然后他就关机了。

在世界的另一端，她松了口气 ---- 终于暂时不用下线状态了。


He started up his computer, only to look at the photo on his desktop background. Perhaps that's his happiest moment in a day.

He admitted that he's got nothing, and the only comfort he can get was from that photo of hers on his desktop; even though she is someone that he had never met --- he could even assume that not such person exists.

It's alright if he was not doing any exercise every morning, for him, he enjoyed that few seconds of accelerating heart pounding, which he thought as a more effective method than any kinds of exhausting physical exercise.

He smiled, his expression full of satisfactory.

"I'll open it up this afternoon and have a look again... I only hope she is missing me as much on her end, and also hope that she will miss me as much as I do!" thus he thought to himself.

Then he turned off his machine.

On the other side of the world, she sighed in relief ---- at last, a short moment that she could stay out of invisible mode.

"...and so she said goodbye"

He came out of the bar, sober. He was surprised that he didn't even have one beer.

He had a faint smile on his face, almost unnoticeable. But his heart was pounding hard --- so hard that it didn't feel good at all.

"Am I sad?" he thought to himself, "or am I happy?"

It's been two years now that he was struggling --- struggling over the choices between leaving or staying for her.

"Give him a chance," he remembered saying that to her,"maybe he's busy, try to talk to her. Don't give up so easily!" He knocked his own head while he said that to her. You idiot! What are you doing to yourself?

So she did give him a chance, and their love flourished.

And what about me? He thought.

He knew from the start that it is not going to happen, telling himself that he is just a good friend to her, and he wants to see her live happily.

10,000 miles apart! What can you expect from that?

So he decided to be her best friend, advice her when she needs help. He knew that he couldn't give her more comfort than those of words. If she needs a hug, she would have to get it from "him", not me, so I have to help them to get back together.

It's not that she didn't feel his strong feelings towards her, in fact she herself felt the same way when her relationship was in the bottom of the abyss. But then he helped her to stand up again, and pushed her to give it another shot.

3 hours ago she gave him a short message on the messenger, telling him that she signed the paper and tried the wedding gown. She thanked him for everything.

He was planning his European tour right then.

"It might be a good thing that it hasn't be planned out yet," he thought, not without a feeling of bitterness.

And so they parted, without ever meeting each other before.

It's the Zorn thing!

John Zorn's Marathon concert for his Schuman Award.

Yup.

In Miller Theater.

3 sets. 45 minutes each.

Nick and me were lucky enough to get standby tickets.

1st set, Masada String Trio and Masada Rock. Fuck yeah... I was especially impressed by Erik Friedlander's awesome tone and creativity!

2nd set, his concert music. I missed the first piece for clarinet and bass clarinet. But the 2nd piece for piano, "Carny", is a schizophrenic yet lively work, even further brought to live by Stephen Drury. 3rd one was "Necronomicon", his 5-movement string quartet, performed by Jennifer Choi, Jesse Mills, Richard O'Neill and Fred Sherry. Very well performed.

3rd set, COBRA!! Fun fun fun... All-star cast: Cyro Baptista, Okkyung Lee, Mark Feldman, Erik Friedlander, Stephen Drury, Sylvie Courvoisier, Jamie Saft, Ikue Mori, etc. Zorn was the prompter. That shit was fun from beginning to the end.

One funny moment, when Nick and me came back from the intermission after the 1st set, Zorn took our seats...

My shittiest day ---- April 24, 2007

Yup, that's my shitties day, no kiddin'.

Woke up, got a letter from MF, saying that he had to back out writing a recom for my artist visa... sigh...

Then in the afternoon I saw my other roommate, whom I met once, a chick from TW. She was cooking, I smiled at her and tried to say hi and she just turned back and looked at me like a stray dog for a split second, then went back to cooking.

WTF...? She doesn't even have a very basic gesture when two civilised human beings see each other.

Then I went to fix my bow and went over to Flushing, the train stopped at 103 St-Corona, and the conductor asked all of us to leave the train, because of "customer injury". Apparently some motherfucker jumped into the 7 train track while my train was approaching. A woman pointed at the track and yelled, "He's right in there!! I saw it because I was about to ask him something and he just did a deep-dive into the track!!" Another black guy said, "Yeah man, there's really someone in there..."

Gross shit, someone crushed into pieces under my feet?

Namo amitabha...

Then after I came back in Flushing late at night, I got an email from Desmond, telling me that I didn't show up in the rehearsal... huh? Got meh? Why is it not in my schedule one??

SHIT!!!!!!

That wasn't Friday the 13th, why was all these things happening to me?!!

GOSH...

Overnight on top of Times Square

I spent my night on Times Square.
Yeah seriously.

But I didn't sleep on the streets. I was in my friend's office right above Hard Rock Cafe. From the meeting room of the office, you could see the lights shining directly into the window, you hardly even need lights to read. People walking to and fro on the streets non-stop --- especially it's the first night of Spring weather.
Wow...it's like a dream!!

I fell asleep on the couch of the office's lobby while my friend was typing a paper. When I woke up, it's already 12pm.
I went out of the building, and I knew rightaway that Spring is here! Everybody was smiling and walking in the sunshine with their shorts and t-shirts.
Now that's what I call good weather!

新房间

终于班上来我真正的房间了。
其实还是比较喜欢楼下, 楼上的人给人感觉都是怪怪的。 尤其某位仁兄都不大爱睬人, 连正眼也不看我一下, 见面也不问好。
大家同屋住就和善一点嘛, 又没有得罪你... 降鸟样有钱拿咩？？？
房间看起来小, 其实还是有点空间的. 至少不会像以前61-49那样路都难走。不过以后东西全搬进来过后就不知道了...
希望这里可以呆一阵子吧。

Moved into my actual room at last.
I actually still prefer downstairs, as the people upstairs are a little weird. Such as this bro that lives across, he doesn't give a shit to people, doesn't even lay an eye on me or say hi.
Come on man, just be a little friendlier, we're roommates, I didn't step on your toes... what the fuck?
Although my room looks small, it's actually spacier than my room in 61-49 --- which I didn't even have space to walk. But I'm curious about how will it be when I moved all my shit over here...
I hope I can stay here for a while.

When you shed your tears of fear

When you shed your tears of fear

Have you thought of more are not so near?

Though it happens in your land so dear

Deaths are out there everyday not every year

It's so clear...

What we see we always fear

What we don't we just don't care

If you're worried for your life so dear

Why not care for those who didn't die here?

Friends from the older days

Since I got out of high school, I seldom gather with my high school friends anymore, except a few. What I'm sayin' is those big-ass parties and dinners with the whole class appearing, I usually don't attend --- in fact I never did.

Actually I did --- once. Just once. And I gave up.

That was not long after we left the school, they said they wanted to have a mamak gathering. Sure, why not.

So I went, and they started to talk shit, which is something I can join in.

But after a while, they started to ask me what do I study. I said music. So they asked me how does that work? So I started to explain the curriculum a little bit, then Tortoise rudely cut in and said, "Ah! That's some shit that we would never understand!" Then they started to say other things.

Fine, fair enough. I understand that they must have had a lot of question marks in their minds like "What the hell is this guy doing anyway? Music? Why do you need to go to school for that kinda shit?"

Seeing my friends all going to another direction like a school of dolphins, I thought to myself that it's time to say "bye" to the old days because we'll all start our own lives. No reason for me to dwell in the history. People change when their lives change. They're now engineers, direct-salesmen/women, pharmacist...

The only ones I can relate to, are the ones who studied graphic design and theatre, because they work in the art field, so our "brain frequencies" are somehow similar.

It's interesting to think about it sometimes, when you are wondering how far have you gone since high school. It's really nothing to feel sad about, this isolation. It's just a process of life I guess.

But I'm lucky that I still have some friends from high school that are still very close with me: Albert, Old Joe, Choo Huey aka Michelle Yeoh (of all names you chose this, beats me!) and Lai Peng. Pretty cool.

Tierras Colombianos

I live in a hispanic neighbourhood in Jackson Heights.

When most people hear "Jackson Heights", they would start telling me how they love Indian food...

Uh huh, me too.

Uh uh, but that's not my area.

I live in the edge between Corona and Jackson Heights --- obviously on the side of Jackson Heights. There are Mexicans surrounding the area that I live. If you take the 7 train (which is 2 minutes' walk from my place) one station towards Manhattan, you will see the area becoming a Colombian place.

Yup, you see the word "Colombianos" everywhere!

Right under the station, there is this fantastic restaurant called "Tierras Colombianos".

Holy crap, I went there once and ordered the Breaded Pork Loin, hell man, it's SOOOOOOO delicious!!

I couldn't the shit, so I brought it back home ---- now can you imagine how big it is?

Yeah... viva Tierras Colombianos!

??

Not much happened in these few days, except playing a great show last Friday in Joe's Pub with Akim Funk Buddha and totally pissed off by the motherfuckin' receptionist in Blue Note.

I literally didn't do shit on Sunday, except practiced a wee bit.

Yesterday was some funny shit, Monday. I woke up telling myself that I was late for QC Orchestra rehearsal and rushed over. Nobody but Carla was sitting on the stage in the dark to practice.

What's goin' on?! Nobody's in school!

Ha! Stupid me, it's still spring break...

So I stayed there thinking that I could print some music for my upcoming rehearsals and gigs, but fuck, media center printer is fucked up.

Then what? Pizza break with my band of course!!

Then I did my mail forwarding and I went to New York Tong Ren Tang to buy pearl cream... oh and I bought two DVDs ---- Confessions of Pain and The Protege. Both are Hong Kong movies that got high acclaims.

I can't wait to see them! But before that... let's take care of my comics first...

Did my laundry, and went to bed.

What a day.

And then it was snowing...

Can't believe this shit, SNOWING?!! What time of the year is it?!! April!!

GOSH!!!!!!!!

But I had quite an exciting day yesterday. I finally get to show joget to the Brazillian Guitar Duo, to find out how similar it is with Brazillian music. They were totally excited, not just because they sound similar, but Joao told me that there is actually ONE kind of fishermen in Brazil that play beats like this! And Douglas agreed too!

Then we started to jam, gave me a taste of what bossa nova should really feel like. They told me all that square bossa nova that I heard back home is actually afro-cuban bossa, not the real deal. And I totally feel that: They don't stress on the first beat, instead, they LEAN towards the 2nd beat (a little anticipated) and pull the tempo back on the 3rd and the 4th beats.

I guess it's the lilt that really made joget and Brazillian music sound similar.

Later after the concert, I showed my friend, a Portuguese who is currently a composition professor in NYU, my joget CD. He wasn't as excited as the duo, but nonetheless, he loved the sound of that music. When I told him this is a Portuguese influenced dance music in Melaka, he said he can hear the Portuguese influences.

Now, from the reaction of both parties, I could tell the Brazillians feel closer to the music than my Portuguese friend does. My theory is, this kind of music "migrated" to both Melaka and Brazil around the same time and grew roots into the ethnic culture there, got localised. But as for Portugal, maybe it is just a part of an evolving process for their music, and it didn't last too long.

Yeah babe, it felt so good doing "cultural exchange".

Oh yeah, before I went to Miller to perform with POA, I was in 42nd St Times Sq. Station. I saw these amazing Afro-Cuban street musicians, playing some amazing shit. The guitarist started playing a riff, and so u thoght u know where the down beat was right? Then when the percussionist entered with the clave, everything that you thought was right COMPLETELY fell out of place. The clave came in in the MIDDLE of the fucking riff!! That shit strikes me to the maximum! Hell yeah!! Not just that! Later they had a kick that came in in ANOTHER different part of the clave, gosh!! I dunno how them Cuban guys' brains work, but they sure is complicated.

After POA concert, I went to see L'Attitude feat. Richard Bona in the Cutting Room. Holy crap man, Richard is some motherfucker, both on the bass and voice!! I get to see him for real at last!!

He can sing while improvising on his bass, singing unison with his bass, without missing any single note. When you think his voice is so high and angelic with his falsetto, all of a sudden, he can sing so low, as low as his bass. I think he is using similar kind of technique with the one Bobby McFerrin is using. It's a kind of "harmonics" instead of real voice. It was fascinating.

Traditions, root, and inner searching...

Rainy today...
I woke up blurred as always, thinking that I should be fine running to the corner store and buy an umbrella. Aunt Zhou told me that it's fairly heavy, she lent me an umbrella, how nice of her!

I've never seen such a big rain in New York before.

Anyway, after the usual bullshit-filled POA rehearsal, I walked up to 42nd and watched 2 movies ---- with the price of one.

Initially I wanted to check out Grindhouse, but the line was extended to the streets, so I gave up. I went into the boxoffice and saw something that I've been interested to see ---- The Namesake. Also in the schedule was Peaceful Warrior, adapted from the book "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" that Charlie recommended to me a while ago.

The Namesake is the kind of movie that very easily touches my heart. It's about a person's realization of the value of his tradition and what he had missed throughout the years. I guess I had a similar experience as "Gogol" in the movie, somewhat. But I never looked down or doubted my own culture and tradition as he did, I just didn't find it so valuable until I get to New York City (same place as where Gogol is).

Sometimes unexpected things will make you see things a bit differently. Just like my two years of absence in Chinese New Year back home made me treasure Chinese New Year so damn much that I actually got mad when my family was acting as if they don't care on the dining table.

I went straight into the other auditorium that showed "Peaceful Warrior". The movie is just so-so, but you can totally understand what the original novel is all about, this makes me wanna read the book.

I've known about the way of inner-searching for quite some time, since I got close to Buddhism. I've always understand the power of it, and am trying to follow the Buddhism teaching of being humble and kind-hearted. I think it did change my life a bit, but I have never been very serious about it. I think I should ---- not because I want a decent reward or anything, it just makes me feel better and happier, I think.

音乐学院

铁匠买到好材料
冶
炼
打造
丢进模子
不多时
出来一个样

功能一样
性能一样

没个性

Oh Chloe...

It's been days since I waited for you to reply, but I guess you were busy practising.

It's OK, I understand a virtuoso's life is hard and intense, I don't blame you.

The song is for you, I hope you like it!

It could be the tune that I'm most proud of!

The Curse of MTA NYC

The thing that impressed me the most in NYC might be the subway.

Yes, it's impressive most of the time because they run 24 hours, they're on time and etc.

Did you see me typing "impressive MOST OF THE TIME"?

Yes, sometimes it's just not happening.

You see, the other night I finished a gig in Brooklyn, took HJ's car to the "52nd-Lincoln Ave" 7 train station. 7 train didn't run because of construction work.

I mean, it's cool, cuz I know they do that from time to time in weekends or late nights because New York subway is 100 years old after all, there should be something to be done.

So there was a shuttle bus that runs along the 7 line right?

I hopped on to the shuttle bus that says "Flushing Main St". I thought this should be it, so I dozed off in a short while after that. It was 12.30am, I remember.

I was awakened by a crowd that came onto the bus on 69th st Station. They started to make noise right after they packed the bus until some people's faces were almost pressing against the wind shield. I heard this Chinese lady sitting behind me yelling, "Cao ta ma de wang ba dan!! What the hell is going on anyway?! Making us go through all this bullshit?"

Then I started to realize that the driver announced that she will drive us back to 61st and Woodside Station and drop us there for an express train to Flushing!

Retarded right? You don't go forward but go backwards instead.

So you hear all kinds of curse words from different languages on the bus, it was fun. So everybody was pointing at the driver and took it all out on her.

But come on lah, be cultured and more understanding a bit can they? It's not the driver's decision to do so. However much she told them it wasn't her fault, they were still screaming at her. So finally she got fuckin' mad and yelled back to them, saying,

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?!!!! I'M JUST DOING WHAT MY SUPERINTENDANT ASKED ME TO DO TO DRIVE YOUR ASSES OVER TO 61ST STREET WOODSIDE!!!!!!"

Apparently the crowd was instructed by MTA to go to this station and that, back and forth. So they were fuckin' pissed off.

Hey, I thought New York subway is already over 100 years old? Why can't they learn from experiences in handling these things?

Gargh... that's the story...

Back to the City...

So I'm back

Into this City

Snow filled

White

Cold

Homeless I am

But never lose hope

Chick Corea in KL

I missed him by just that little bit...

Not that it's hard for me to see him in action in NYC, but I wanted to meet him up in KL because I thought it would be more meaningful.

So his assistant told me that he won't be coming out into the crowd to do signing or anything, I was a bit disappointed really. But I passed my Evil Twin demo with "Crystal Silence" in it to his assistant anyway, I hope he will pass it to Chick.

Chick, if you're reading this man, please listen to my new stuff, I really want you to hear our rendition of Crystal Silence!

x x x x x x

I met Chick once in New York when I first got there, at Lincoln Center's Barnes and Noble bookstore. He was doing a book signing thing for L. Ron Hubbard's "To The Stars", which inspired him to write a suite that bears the same title for his Elektrick Band.

He was so nice to me he asked me to pass him my CD if I have one, and that he will listen to it. So I did and more than half a year later I found myself holding his letter with his real signature on it, wishing me all the best in my career!

I dunno if many people got this from Chick, but it certainly gave me BIG encouragement in doing my THING. It was the kind of moral support that you don't get everyday from legendary cats with his calibre.

Thanks Chick! I hope to see you some time in NY!

My two nights with Boplicity

Heard about this band for a while since Julian dismissed his old band Happy People. Boplicity's hitting the scene with storm, I would say, even if nobody knows about it, I don't really give a shit, because they really are.

You know, I knew all the cats in the band except Cher Siang the pianist. I knew how they play and I also know them personally.

But after hearing the first tune they played in the first night in Top Room (March 9th), I felt that I didn't know them anymore.

What the fuck has happen to these people?!

EVERY SINGLE motherfucker in the band played like there is no tomorrow. Holy shit, everybody sets fire under my chair and burned my ass until I wanna jump!

Man to tell the truth, I was too surprised. See, I played with Martin before I went off to study in New York, but since then I didn't know how much he grew, I only knew he was talented and shit. But now, GODDAMN! He can play his ass off man!! He swings soooo damn much better... man if you're reading this, I'm fuckin' proud of you man, really, and I feel honoured to have played in the same band with you before.

Cher Siang, everybody was telling me about this cat, ravin' about him. Damn, he's really somethin' too, he definitely pushed the band so much ahead of its peers. He's the kinda player that would push you to show what you have. Great technique, great chops... what more can i say...

Vincent, damn, always so in tune and reliable, cool man.

Julian, mastermind behind this band, if it weren't him and his passion, this wouldn't happen. So obviously he's enjoying what they're doing on stage, he played his hearts out!!

And Eddie, you little prick, I rarely hear you solo before this, man, they told me you're a very musical person, and lemme tell you what, they're right!! You're deep man, you've got da soul!!! Really, I really enjoyed your solos..

So the second was designated for me, I went up as a special guest, and it became B+1.

I played Manda's Mood as opening, Cher Siang was a funny guy, he quoted the chorus of Chang Hung Liang's "Ni Zhi Dao Wo Zai Deng Ni Ma?" (Do you know I'm waiting for you?), we laughed our asses off. So I quoted the verse of the same song when I soloed. Haha! That was some funny shit. Only then I realized that this pop song actually only consists of 4 chords, Hahaha!!!

Then we played "Chloeithcka", oh my god, Julian on soprano almost literally took a knife and ripped his heart out and show it to the audience while it was still beating. You know what I mean? I think if there really is a God, he would have heard Julian's cry from the soprano that night. It pierced through the ceiling, the roof, the clouds, the atmosphere, the stars... I was touched...

Next, "Riders on the Lost Track". We were literally LOST... Vincent didn't really know how to play a joget bassline..hehe... But Julian saved it back... haha...

"Geylang" was the closing tune of the second set, now I could tell that most audiences didn't know what the fuck was going on with this tune. They looked so lost, as this tune is really experimental. It's based on the Malay folk tune, but reharmed in the way that you can play anything over it with D minor, but then we went while and started to avant-garde our asses off. That was really fun for us, but them kids down there were completely blanked... It was actually a very soulful and daring act of the night, too bad KL audiences didn't dig it.

Third set, was again mainly the Boppers' acts, I only joined in in the last two tunes, I thought I did alright...

The second night was almost the same, except we only played two of my tunes, which was Chloeitchka and Manda's Mood. The fire and passion were still the same from the Boppers.

I had a great experience, seriously, thanks Julian for asking me to play this gig. I felt emotionally, spiritually satisfied after these two long nights. I felt that I gave out all I had, and I felt good.

Thanks Boppers!

SHIT!!! MY PHONE!!!!

Performance went well, had a nice dinner with CM's profs and Soo Wei too.

This morning, I found out that I slept a little too much comparing than usual, it felt pretty good, and I could use more if I wanted to. But then CM told me that we're going out and that I'm gonna head straight to airport from Bangkok.

So I didn't even bother to take a shower, we just went straight out after I made sure I had everything with me.

CM wanted to show Soo Wei his campus, so we went there by his housemate's car. After that, we hit the cab and headed to Bangkok.

After some typical Bangkok traffic jam, we came to this shopping mall called "MBK". It's a pretty messy place with lots of small stalls everywhere, selling t-shirts and other things, all imitations.

One thing I found out was, their original DVDs and CDs are so fuckin' cheap! So I bought a copy of Naqoyqaatsi which original score was composed by Phillip Glass and solos by Yo Yo Ma. Never a big Glass fan, I always thought that his film scores are way more interesting than his concert works. The price was 56 Baht, which means about RM 5.60!! DVD BABY!! And when I wanted to pay my money, the girl at the counter told me that it's a buy-one-free-one item!! So CM asked me to get the same one for him. I did. So I guess that's considered as my thank-you gift for his nice hospitality? Hehe...

Bought another two t-shirts in the mall, pretty funny ones.

After having McD's, I went up to a taxi again and said bye to CM and Soo Wei.... oh, and Bangkok. Yes, I was heading to the airport.

It wasn't till I got to the security checkpoint that requires me to clear all my pockets that I found out that I was there WITHOUT MY PHONE!!

Cursing "fuck me!" secretly, I was wondering where the hell it was.

Could it be in CM's room? Or his friend's car? Or one of the cabs???

Now that I checked with CM, calling him from home, I was quite sure that the phone slipped out quietly from my pocket when I was on one of the cabs.

Dammit... what a trip...

In Bangkok

I arrived on the 4th of March, where CM was already waiting for me outside. My head was still ringing with music that I played with Greg the other night, I only slept two hours after the gig.

Journey was fine, because I slept through the whole of it, and also it's been a while since I sat by myself with nobody else next to me.

I'm looking at Bangkok with a different perspective this time.

Last time I was here, I didn't really have time to look at it, and I was totally bothered by the linguistic problems here, I didn't have a good time, plus the time was short as it was an overnight transit.

Cruising around the streets on buses and cabs CM gave me another experience of Bangkok.

The food here is really great, and cheap too. And you see a lot of beautiful people walking on the streets, but of course you can't be sure if they're real or not...if you know what I mean...hehe

Haven't been CM for more than two years, this little bastard can now speak some Thai with the locals, some vendors around his neighbourhood don't even know he's not a Thai. Haha, sneaky little bastard...

Now I'm sitting in CM's sax professor's room, waiting for the soundcheck and rehearsal at 5pm. Mahidol University has a beautiful campus, with great facilities in the music college. I jsut went to see a piano recital, which they used a Steinway concert grand. CM also told me that they have two other concert grands in the hall.

The hall is beautiful and fully equipped. Wondering when can we have a school like this in Malaysia...sigh...

Getting sleepy now, waiting for the concert...

See? I told you....

See?! Told you nothing would happen!

I always can foretell my life because it's just so predictable...

Boring...

I think I still stick up my good old golden middle finger real high, because I need it...

GJ 2nd night

Didnt like my solos accept African Skies...

Got to know a girl in the gig, very nice...

But so what...

Nothing will happen, I know it...

Groove Junky

First night...

Fun...

A little nervous...

Less smoke but still...

Leader late...

Started late...

Noisy drums...

Hard touch...

Pete was there...

Mei was there too...

Jammed with her...

Let's see 2nd night...