Thursday, September 07, 2006

Blah...

Just went up to read Joyceh's blog, suddenly felt an urge to write some shit here too. So here I am.

I woke up fairly early, BY MICHELLE'S PHONE CALL!! It's OK Michelle, thanks for making me a normal person --- well, not that normal, but at least I woke up earlier than I used to. Yeah you're welcome, it's OUR gig anyways, we work together, so I have a responsbility to do something. Plus, I got the gig.

Then I started some "mou lei tau" (nonsense in Cantonese) chatting with Ken and Joyceh. Yes, three ways on Skype, pretty cool huh? The function is called "conference", just go and click "Tools", and click "Create a Conference", you can have multiple people to talk to in the same time.

Anyway, I had been text messaging JY for a bit, she told me she really like what I wrote, and she had been playing it for the whole morning. I'm glad. Yeah, thanks for borrowing me your name.

Then I went out to have some buns in the Chinese bakery on Kissena Blvd, met Ming, had some usual guy's dirty talk and nonsense chatting. Then went to the music building and met Dong and Dae-il and talked to them for a long while before I went to see Irving (Yes, that's my original intention to go to the music building, but i dunno what I'm thinkin'). So I made him notice that I haven't get the check yet, once again.

Then I came home, finally had a long telephone conversation with JY, for the first time. Only problem was that the sound was too muffled, couldn't really hear her well most of the time. But yeah, it was a good chat.

...

I had been telling people about my upcoming jazz gig, got a lot of greetings in my e-mail inbox, mostly saying that "I wish I could be there but good luck", that tells a lot. But I'm still thankful that these guys/girls actually took the trouble to reply me and gave me their best wishes.

I'm not too worried about not too many people attending though, because if you get a full house on your first gig, it doesn't mean that you'll get a full house on your second gig. People will either think you're nothing special, or would simply like to spend some money for other bands that they like as well.

You can't get the same crowd in every gig.

And now I can understand why artist kept on promoting themselves non-stop, because they HAVE to reach a bigger crowd so that there will always be a steady number of audiences in every gig. And also, that's why we need to keep on improving our crafts.

(Ray, please tell me if I'm wrong or if you have something to add up in this statement, please hit the "Comment" below and let me know, you know you're my father-figure, I always respect your statements. I know you're reading, man, come on! Start bitchin' at me!)

Music, no, it's not an easy job. Those of you who think we live our lives easily, please think again.

In this business, we always have to think about "What's next?". There is NO settling-down --- well maybe yes, in the orchestra, maybe. (But you still have to practice just in case some assholes wanna re-audition you, right?)

p/s: Oh, by the way, this is Ray Pizzi's quote of the day: "I'm intoxicated by your indifference". Bitchin' huh?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

An e-mail to a friend

Hey,

I just ran back from the rain outside, soaked.

Thought of writing to you before anything else.

I'm listening to the duo performance of Kenny Barron (piano) and Stan Getz (alto sax) right now. So deep... full of soul... Makes you wanna lay down and not standing up anymore...

It's the last album made by Stan Getz. Right after he did this live performance, he died.

People say some can foretell their death before they die, I believe that. At least, I heard it from Stan's music. He blew out his sorrow, his low cry, his love, his... Life......

The album is called "People Time", a double-CD.

Go find it and listen to it and get drunk with it.


Love,
CH

Meeting fellow Malaysian

I feel so content, meeting a fellow Malaysian HERE IN NEW YORK!

Believe it or not, I never had a single Malaysian friend since I got here to New York.

It's pathetic and unbelievable I know, but that's how it is here.

One might ask me: What about them bitchin' Malaysian restaurants in town?

But I'm sorry, how am I suppose to get to know a waiter or waitress serving food, thinking about money and don't give a shit anything else in life, not even his/her own country?

Speaking of which, I thought of a mad story happened the other day.

It was August 30th here (already 31st back home), the eve of our Merdeka Day ("Merdeka" means "Independence" in Malay language). I went in to my favourite Chinese restaurant to ask the people if there's any Merdeka celebrations among our community. This one guy --- I CAN NEVER FORGET HIS FACE!! --- was looking at me like I'm a Martian or something and said, "Oh... that... no lah! We don't celebrate our National Day. US National Day we will celebrate!" I almost gave him a punch on this "fellow Malaysian"'s face. Motherfucker, no self-respect! He responded like a total stranger to the National Day of Malaysia, makes me sick!

Anyway, back to the topic. This guy I met is a piano performance PhD student in Juilliard, Nick Ong. Cool guy, looks so young, but never realize he's even older than my buddy Chong Lim! Wow!

Had a Sichuan dinner with him, some really spicy shit. Thus, I shat spicy too. hehe...

I've seen this guy playing the Liszt piano concerto no.1 with the National Symphony of Malaysia --- oh yeah, I was playing in there. Man, he's a motherfucker man, he can play like nobody's business!!! And now this dude told me that we should play together, you can imagine how fuckin' happy I am.

Nick also told me that he had never been home for 6 years... damn... I can't imagine myself staying outside for six years without them Malaysian food ...

If you are wondering what's so fuckin' special Malaysian food, just walk in to one of the Malaysian restaurants in town, and try ANY dish in the menu. Otherwise, you can ask Jeremy mah brotha. He will tell you how wonderful it is. Know why? Cuz he's a Malaysian now! That triggers another story...

While in LA, Ken and me brought our white boy Jeremy to a South East Asian restaurant, Noodle Planet in Westwood. They have like one of the best food down there. Jeremy had a Hainanese chicken rice there before and was diggin' it, so he didn't even think before he decided to go back.

OK, so there we were, two Chinese-Malaysians and one American dude. We started to recommend food on the menu and shit, and then suddenly we found out there's a special dish called "Durian with Sticky Rice". Ken and I, our eyes were like shining bright right away! (Durian is a kind of spiky fruit that only grows in South East Asian countries. The content is soft and slimy, the smell is too sweet for some people it stinks.) We wanted to order that shit, but we were worried that Jeremy can't take it.

So we asked him, "Dude, we gonna challenge you with somethin'. If you passed this test, you'll be officially accepted in the Malaysian gang. Are you willing to accept it?" He said, "Yeah man, I'm open to try", with his easy-goin', not-the-end-of-the-world tone.

Thus the dish came, we wanted him to try the DURIAN ONLY. So he had a small piece and put it in his mouth and bit it and ate that shit. Ken and I were watching his facial expression intensely, hoping to see some disgusted expressions.

But hell no! He didn't! He didn't show that typical look when Western people tried durians!! Then he said, "Why, I would say this is pretty good actually, I like it!"

We were both amazed like some kinda motherfucker and couldn't believe it.

So he's in. He's a Malaysian now.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Starry Sky

No, it's not about New York. I'm sure most of you can foretell.

It's Stowe, Vermont.

I was walking outside the resort, with Jing, talking about our ex-girlfriends. It was dark.

I looked up at the sky, I see millions of blinking stars in the endless dark backdrop.

Yes, Stowe is such a place.

A place with no excessive lights from the ground ----- not even streetlights on the streets.

I see a river of stars, flowing through the quietness of the night. It washed my heart clean.

Yeah... it's really been a while since I saw a sight like this...

Ray Pizzi's Quote of the Day 3

"I'll be the first to admit I'm wrong......if I'm ever wrong"

Friday, September 01, 2006

珍珠奶綠 / Lunch with A-chan

難以相信,回來了快兩個星期,昨晚才第一次去買珍珠奶綠來喝.

通常經過Flushing都會順道買一杯來喝,這一次確實有點一反常態.

連羊肉串也不例外. 我到現在為止,只吃過一串.

看來人真的是會變的.


x x x x x x x x x

Lunch with A-chan didn't happen.

I got her message this morning while I was still in the bed, she said she didn't sleep at all last night, so she needs to catch up with some sleep.

Oh well... Guess we all have our lives to live...

I'm glad enough that there are always some friends here and there. It's always good to have friends. They might seem distanced in usual days, but when something big happens, they're still the ones to go to.

Not the ones that WERE used to be close to you. No way. Those very close ones, once you part with them, they will never turn back...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

My first official lesson with Christian Howes

Christian Howes, my Kungfu Master!!!
Yesterday was my first lesson with him --- officially. He gave me a lesson on the streets before, which was REALLY cool!
I got to Brooklyn, in his apartment, and took an almost 2-hour lesson with him.
It was great, I learned so much from him.
The lesson went back to the same problem I always have: Using much ears.
Before I started jazz, it was my sightreading that really sucked.
Now that my sightreading got better (much better), the intuition problem has taken over.
In jazz, I still trust my ears too much, I do not memorize chords too well.
Chris pointed this out to me again and again during the lesson.
He also explained the "4 in 1" theory to me.
So much to learn, so little time...

Oh, yes, he also passed me a gig, thanks Chris! I dunno how to thank you!

Monday, August 21, 2006

In NYC

Touched down late around 11.30pm on Friday night.

I went back home with a Queens Lincoln cab, 15 bucks, not bad.

The house was a mess. Mice droppings everywhere in the kitchen, food got eaten by those dreadful little creatures. Seems like they've open up some doors for themselves again.

Not gonna take care of those yet.

物是人非事事休, 欲語淚先流

Well I didn't cry, but I felt heavy when I saw the same things settling in the house but everything has changed personally.

I couldn't bear to look at it, so I went straight to Dong Hyun's house. He invited me to go there anyway.

We had Book Chang Dong soon doo bu before we headed to his house.

Stayed overnight, tasted my first cigar in my life.

Next day (Sat) was the rehearsal of POA.

After POA, I went to find CY, had lunch with her (actually, with myself, she had lunch). Then I went to her place to chit chat. Then I called Tian up and we met up to have dinner together with his girl.

3 of us met up with CY together again.

We went back to CY's apartment to drink. CY told me that HP called her up to ask her not to let me drink, I yelled in my heart, saying,"Fuck you bitch! Enjoy your sweet time with Sctt and don't bother me OK?!! It's my freedom to anything I want now! What do YOU care about?!!!"

So we all got drunk and BIG LOVE, we talked and laughed. So happy...

Yay~~~

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Evil Twin recording session!!

Jeremy and me are staying in LA for a few days, and decided to record ourselves so that we can put our clips on MySpace, since Ken offered to record us before.

So we finally did it today.

My bow was broken last week because of a small accident, so in the mean time I'm repairing it, I have to have a new bow. I had been thinking of buying a carbon-fibre bow anyways, so today we went to Studio City Music a.k.a. Eric Benning Violin Shop near the big movie studios. I got a Jon Paul Bravo model, original price was 210, but Eric gave me a discount and it became a 200 dollars deal. Out of my expectation, he asked me to choose any rosin I like! He told me to better choose the expensive ones. So I chose the Liebenzeller Metall-Kolophonium rosin, the Gold II series. According to Eric, Liebenzeller is the first person who put metal into the rosin to avoid rapid melting!

I tried out the bow in the recording session when we got back to Ken's apartment, man, I love the bow-chops it produces! It's so crispy, and it's definitely worth more than that price! Yesterday I used Jeremy's cello bow to record a trial take, haha!

Anyway, we took many takes today within the 4.15pm to 6.30pm, including another song, Crystal Silence, with only one take. I think "Get It" had us do 5 takes. Don't remember. We decided to choose the last take. At fist we wanted to choose the second last, but we suddenly realize we didn't switch on the mic... so there were only pick-up sound that sounds pretty ugly by itself. Shit... had to redo it once more, but we were glad to find that it was the best take!!

It's 3am now, Ken is still mixing "Get It"! Thanks buddy, you're amazing!!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Catalina jam

I should post my video when I jammed in Catalina's. You can't really see my face (again). You can also hear HP's voice behind asking Sctt to help her take the video and Sctt's answer. Pretty interesting. But please, focus on the music. Haha!

HMI 2006 (Final Week)

Ray Pizzi's quote of the week:

I don't care what scales or modes you play in a slow ballad man. As long as you make the bitches horny!

x x x x x x x x x x x x

Last week was a blur to me.

Because I found out something that would make me feel so bitter that I wanna kill myself.

It was in Catalina's, HMI organized a jam session in there. As usual, I sat in a corner with other fiddlers. HP sat with her girlfriends and this percussionist Sctt who likes her together on one table. I felt a gush of jealousy running to my heart.

Then they sat so close and talked to each other's ears and flirt.

Then later after the thing, I saw them got down from the bus and walked towards his car and went away.

I almost killed myself then.

I never knew how much I care. But now I think I know.

But I can't do anything, because I was the one who asked for a breakup in such an ungodly timing. I should be responsible!

The rest of the week was pretty emotional, lots of tears and alcohol (both from me and her).

But anyway, we had our string ensemble concert on Wednesday which went very well, though JC's program was too long. Also, my E string popped when my group started to play the first few bars. But luckily Hebe came in to switch her violin with mine. Later she even put on a new E string for me! Thanks Hebe!

The rest of the week was filled with jealousy and bitterness. I couldn't even remember the music much. For example, the Maria Schneider concert should've been great but all I did throughout the concert was peeking what they were doing in the far side of the plaza...

My heart was filled with anger!!!

But I know I hurt her too much, too much... there's no way for me to go back to her and tell her to come back, that would be shameless!! Plus, I really need time for music!!

See how complicated I am? I don't even understand myself anymore...


Anyway, the grand finale was great! Well of course, if you ignore Ahn Trio by purpose! Haha!

Michael Daugherty's Ghost Ranch was absolutely amazing, and very nice to be played too. Paul Chihara's The Tempest is cute too. Of course, it's Paul! He's cute himself.

The concert ended with Abe Laboriel's crazy bass solo in Peter Gunn. He is AMAZING!!

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Coda:

Now I'm in Ken's house, after checking out yesterday (sunday, 8/13).

Yesterday we were all very tired because of the crazy Toga/Mattress party we had after the concert.

We came to Ken's place, had lunch, then went on to the airport to send HP off to Portland, Oregon.

Life without HP is a little peaceful, for I don't have to see them being together. But I miss her a lot, I dunno if she feels the same. Maybe not... She has Sctt.

My heart is still aching, and also burns with flame. That bastard promised me that he will give me peace of mind just to go through the last week of the institute, and yet, they went to the beach together, sat so close in the concert... It totally burns me into flame.

Motherfucker...

Monday, August 07, 2006

HMI (3rd week)

It's been a cool week because we didn't have to go through all those difficult orchestra parts. Music's quite easy this week, I was glad. I guess the hardest parts were Tian's and Ulf's pieces. Easy week.

JD and Bill Cunliffe did some crazy changes on Rhapsody in Blue, but it was worth it. I almost cried when I heard Pascal's solo in there. Rhapsody in Blue with rhythm section in the cadenza, man that's a bold but creative move! And fuck that woman who shouted, "Wrap it up!" She clearly doesn't know shit about being a good audience, not to mention knowing music.

JD's brought our spirit up a level this week, cuz he kept on saying, "Playing music is supposed to make you FEEL GOOD. If you don't feel good, those cats in the audience won't dig it. If you feel good, the cats will feel good too! You dig?" Yes I dig, JD! And he always shouted, "SING IT!!! SING IT!!!" We did, it's another tear-jerking moment when we played the slow part. Damn, he's got some magic there, our Mr Penguin.

The concert in Marina Del Rey was awesome, but it can't beat the concert a night before --------- the chamber orchestra concert.

Gonzalo Rubalcaba totally tore it up!!! I saw Marianne's tears after Gonzalo played the first song! Yes, I was totally touched too.

Then Turnage piece is some shit man, I love it!!!

* * * * * * * * * *

Coda:

I really like HRK, but too bad, HRK has bf...

Well, I guess I shouldn't think about that for now, I don't want a gf now, and plus, it's just a summer fling...

But well, my point is, I really like HRK!

Maybe because she looks like Sodam? Dunno... maybe...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Ray Pizzi's Quote of the Day

"Don't play to fill up the space; play to fill some space"

Monday, July 31, 2006

HMI 06 (2nd part, week two)

So now's the end of week two. Let me look back and see what happened.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Allan Pasqua's improv class on Monday was awesome, he taught Giant Steps in the class. He designated some practising schemes, such as playing the changes in 14 bars, which means cut down the last two bars to lessen the feeling of settling down. This is for practising your skills of knowing where you are in the changes. Pretty tough, especially when he asked the students to trade 8 with the drummer, pengsan! They would all go back to 16 bars so easily, haha!

Nothing much to say about this week except Laurence Rosenthal came in to conduct us playing his Miracle Worker score, man... that was some deep ass music he was making man. If the same music goes to any other conductor, it would turn into another cheesy Hollywood music. Then Johnny Mandel came in to conduct his songs "A Time For Love" and "Emily" as well. Man, I can't help but be deeply touched by the music. And I totally salute to Mr Mandel because he is already 80 over years old like Larry, but he is still so clear about EVERY SINGLE note that we play. He could HEAR EVERY WRONG NOTE people did. He could hardly move his arms, but sure as hell his brain could move!!

Then it was the Big Band concert, pretty kick ass with Christian McBride. It was awesome! There was big party after that, threw by the string section, but sorry lah, I didn't contribute any beer, I only consume them, haha!! I even did a beer bong with two beers inside, crazy... And we were hugging each other so lovingly after we were all "gone", especially A and H! Haha! That was fun.

The film concert on the next day was awesome! People loved it, and we loved it too! I thought Richard Kaufman did a great job in conduct Austin Powers and Spiderman with the big screen behind us. Everything was DEAD ON the cues!!! My god... How could he possibly do that?!!

Post-concert party was another thing worth mentioning is that I jammed, for the first time in the post-concert party, with the real jazz cats, and the audiences and sponsors that came were all there. That was a bold move, I know... But at least that gained myself a little respect rather than hiding myself in a corner. String players who improvise should have more balls and stand out and say something with their horns!!! (See the video, although you can't see me, but you can hear very well for sure! )



After the concert, I found myself breaking up with HP... Might be a good thing though. But I'm sure she's feeling very very bad. I'm sorry HP, but this is a decision I have to make. I hope you will find someone that loves you back as much as you love him. Dont' find that asshole back again... promise?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Updates on HMI 2006 (first part, week 2)

So I wrote the first concert is over, pretty good.

Had some fun in the post-concert party, man, them jazz players tore it up!!!

Talked to Su a little, she's a fun person, especially when we use Manglish to talk, WOOHOO!!! What a rush!!!

The next day we went to Warner Bros., but since we were all so fucked up (we had ANOTHER party the night before right after the post-concert party ---- folks, that's HMI!), we woke up like zombies at 7 in the morning. And hell, the fuckin' bus didn't show up till late...sigh*, should've slept longer...

The Indiana Jones session in the Clint Eastwood Recording Stage in Warner Bros. wasn't as good as last year, I have to confess. The brass players this year, I dunno why, they kept cracking their notes up! We had to take so many takes until we didn't have time to look at the final result!

After the session, I followed Russ and his friend, Micah, to Universal Studio that's just around the corner to watch Superman Returns in IMAX version. Saw the movie before, so the whole point there is just to watch the three 3D scenes, yes, I said THREE. ONLY THREE. Luckily it's not so bad.

That night we went to Ken's place to eat Bak Kut Teh, yummy! HP made some chicken too. That was something! Then Nick came to let HP try his Izuka viola and fetched us back to the dorm.

* * * * * * * * * *

Rest of the week up till now is all about playing. Orchestra in the morning, 9.30am ---- which sucks. This week we're performing film music with a big screen behind. But not as good as last year cuz we almost don't have any other film composers to conduct us, except Pat and Larry Rosenthal. PLUS, no Paul Chihara! :( I miss him, hope he will show up eventually.

String band is going alright, more systematic this time. What I like is we only play one piece in the combine string band, which saves the havoc from last year.

Then, it's all jamming jamming and jamming. Jamming with any cats I would like to jam with. It's fun, it's great! I got better, I feel. And Jeremy and I came up with a new tune!

Music filled my life right now, I'm really really happy and satisfied. I don't think I have time for any other things, I really need my own space and my own time. I don't even know if having a girlfriend at this point is such a good idea anymore...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ertinya "Malaysia Boleh"

The fanatical nationalists like to shout "Malaysia Boleh" before they think. Why shout "Malaysia Boleh" over those "longest, biggest, tallest, shortest, highest, youngest" records in the Guiness Book of Records?

Three nights ago, I shouted "Malaysia Boleh" in Los Angeles, CA. Not only out of patrioticism, but out of the bottom of my heart.

I saw Kamrul Hussin, directed such an excellent piece of music, that was used as the closing of the 2nd Salon of APPEX --- an Asian-Pacific cultural exchange programme held this year in LA.

I saw Joseph Gonzales, dancing away with his beautiful body movements, and choreographed such an excellent dance programme.

Pessimists like to say "Malaysia Tak Boleh", they think our culture and art is next to nothing.

But if they saw this, they have to admit they're wrong ---- Malaysia DOES have something to offer to the world!

Kamrul sung with such passion,"Maju seni, maju budaya!" Indeed, if the arts are advanced, the culture will grow.

That's what Malaysia need right now --- the growth of culture --- since our economy is so much better than a few decades ago.

I hope there are more people like Kamrul and Joseph, or even better ones, appearing in the art scene, I honestly hope so.

Good job Abang Kamrul, saya memang terharu!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Henry Mancini Institute 2006 (Week 1)

So I'm back here again, to HMI.

I took off from KL in the morning of 13th July, after a whole 3 weeks of craziness there.

Transit in Hong Kong was fun. I knew Julian was going home on the same day but I didn't know what time was his flight. I tried my luck by calling him with my cellphone. But there were some limitations going on there, I could only SMS him. Surprisingly, he called me back! Then he told me he was upstairs in the airport!

So I went up to meet him and Eddie. We took a couple pictures and they went to buy wine for people in KL. Then they told me about the whole Jackie Chan scandal in their gig with Jonathan Lee (李宗盛).

Anyway, I stayed on in the airport for one more hour after they took off.

Then I reached LA, my beloved city.

Waited in the special registration room for about an hour before I could come out as a free man. Then I waited for Ken and his woman to come fetch me at the airport. He told me there was big traffic along the way.

After I hopped on to his car, he drove me straight to see Pirates of Caribbean 2. I totally fell asleep in many parts of the movie. So I can't tell if the film is good or not, saw some nice effects, so I think it might be good...

Night time was drinking time with Ken, we went to buy sake and plum wine and had quite a lot, didn't get fucked up though, so it's fine. But whenever I get alcohol, I will always shit like mad the next day, haha! So you know what happened to me right?

So the next day we went to pick up HP, then checked in to HMI.

Many news faces, a few old ones. But it's cool, cuz my roommates are great people, including Jeremy my buddy, and Russ the viola principal of our 1st week, and Ben the bass trombonist who always seek for more jazz solo opportunities, haha!

* * * * * * * *

The funny thing about this time was, we started party in the first night! That, I guess, never happened before. At least we're not that crazy last year.

Anyway, in the placement audition, they asked me if I mind sitting in a principal chair again. I said I wanna do more of my own stuff, so the less responsibility the better. My wish was granted, I get NO principal chairs whatsoever, NO CHAMBER ORCHESTRA!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!! So this time I can sit in the audience and watch Gonzalo Rubalcaba perform!!!

Orchestra pieces this week are very nice this time, more depth, more artistic. The highlight of the program, I think, is Pat Williams' "August", a work he wrote after he had a health breakdown and went through a big operation. I guess life experience could change a person entirely. Pat looks different, not that his looks changed, but his whole attitude of talking and everything looks so unlike last year.

As for string band, I got put into Lesa Terry's band, which is cool. She is known to be very organized and systematic in teaching. I'm glad. A little disappointed that I don't get to play in Danny Seidenberg's band though... But oh well, others deserve an oppotunity.

This Saturday will be an audition day for us violinists to choose a soloist for Stardust, a piece arranged by Pat. There are some open solo changes that I need to work on. Ray Pizzi, my father figure in improvisation helped me for a whole one half hours yesterday. I'm soooo grateful about that! Thanks Ray! I will remember all the scales you taught me.

Tonight was another fun night, it's the SIMPSONS READING SESSION!!! Alf Clausen, the composer himself, came to conduct us as usual, and told us some nice and funny stories. It was great.

One thing I need to mention is the jams I had since I came in this year. I never had that much jamming last year, because of the business I had. So this time I got to jam a lot with Jeremy, and also the "real deals" in HMI. It was scary in the official jam session on Monday, seeing all them great players burning their solos like nobody's business. I played really really badly that night.

But just now after the Simpsons, somebody started a jam session, and I watched for a long time, wondering if I should join in, cuz I was nervous, plus I dunno those tunes. At last, they said, "Let's play a last one, All Blues in 11!" So immediately took out my horn (it's actually my violin) and joined in. It was fun, I thought I played well.

I guess I just have to keep on playing with other people, jamming without thinking what others might think of me. To be totally fluent in jazz is my goal, I think I can do it, it only takes time. So I will spend a lot of time digging into it, learning everything I can learn to be a pro. I don't think I have time for any other thing in this case I guess, but it's OK, if I can get it. What else matters?

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Time to think...

So it is time to sit down and think
Should still be playing a solo recital
Should I? Or should I not?

I always feel so much relaxed and comfortable playing with my friends in a chamber group.
Be it a duo, a trio or a quartet.
But SOLO...

Sigh...

Sometimes I think classical music simply gives me a lot pressure
Pressure and pressure
Scared to get things wrong
Scared to play one wrong note
Scared to go out of tune
Scared of how people think I suck...

So it's time to sit down and think over
Should I do a recital anymore???

Chamber makes me feel much comfy
Why not just chamber?
And all other stuff
Like jazz, rock, experimental...........
Maybe I was born for those things, not for being a solo musician
I'm just not into that shit

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Stereotyping musicians...

Most people that I know (not to mention those that I don't), have a stereotypical image of musicians.

They think musicians' life is easy, and they're poor, can't make enough money to eat, dreaming all the time about flower fragrance, praising the sun and serenading the moon... etc.

And all you people who think like that, please remember this phrase of mine: This idea is disgusting!!!

First of all, we musicians, like anybody else, need to eat and sleep and shit. We make money out of our hardwork. "How do you guys work hard?? I thought you only need to play music?"

HELLO????? ONLY play music did you say?!! Bitch you're too ignorant.

If we ONLY play music, why do we have to go through all those hazzle to find a good teacher, to go overseas and study?? You think playing music is easy ah? Try learning Tai Chi for a month then you will see how difficult playing music is! It's exactly how it feels like!

Then I've even came across some people that think that a musician can't fix their flat tyres, or wash toilet. COME TRY ME!!!

Basically, for them, musicians are bunch of sissies who drink the morning dew, serenading the lunar, chasing stars, surfing wind, diving in the safari, dance on the water, walk in the night sky... anything else you can think of?

In fact I'm tired of this shit, that's why I wrote this.

Eh, please lah, before you say such things think again lah! We are also human, flesh and bones like you OK?

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Lunch at TP's

Big face lah me and KC, makanning TP's own cooking at her place!

Walauweh...

At first we said 8pm, but later TP changed time and we didn't know.

But luckily Yayasan is available for practice. So it's fine.

TP's cooking is mmmm mmmmm..... SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!

Nasi lemak I had two, her rendang~~~ OH MY GOD~~~ SYURGA nie!

Then Mama Mon made a vodka orange for me to drink, so good...

Then I met Camelia, the famous Malay singer... didn't take a pic....apalah me...

We couldn't move eventually, too full, even dinner also I didn't take. You can see how full I am.

But it's great to have that great meal! The bestest so far since I got back!

Thanks TP! You the man!!