"Be The Best!"

One day I was transferring from the E train to the D train at the 7th Avenue station.

As I walked down the stairs, I heard this sick drumming underneath.

A black guy was burning it below the staircase, sweating like mad, people were bobbing their heads and smiling while he plays, dollar bills kept on adding up in the tip bucket.

The B train came, the crowd went off, leaving behind waiting for my D train. The drummer finally stopped and checked his tip bucket.

"I wanna stop, but they won't let me!" he talked to me.

I said, "Cuz you bad man."

"I know!" he replied with full confidence.

So I asked him, "So where else do you play man?"

He said, "Oh, let's see... Miami Beach, South Carolina, Philadelphia..." he named a few big places. I looked at him, obviously with a ray disbelief. He then told me, "I tour around with Anita Baker man, you know her?"

I was thinking to myself, "No fuckin' way!", answering, "Yeah of course! Wow!"

Then he said, "Yeah man, I'm not those little subway musicians, this is my practice session, ah (I) been doin' this for 8 years or so now, practicing in the subway."

So I asked him if he plays around the City a lot, he said, "Nah man, I don't play no small clubs man. Payin' me 300 bucks and wantin' me to play 5 hours man? That's ridiculous! I get the same rate touring working less hours!" Then he looked at my violin on my back, "So what do you play? A trumpet?"

I said, "No, it's a violin." Right then, D train arrived at the station, so I said bye to him and walked over to the train.

He said, "Whatever it is (you play), practice! Be the best!"

I turned my head back and answered, "OK man! Will do!"

He yelled once again before the train doors closed, "BE THE BEST!"

好大的一把槍!

他拿著手提袋, 在街上又驚恐又歡喜的亂逛.

都怪自己多手! 要不然就不會這樣了?

到底是怎樣呢?

趙沙在路邊無意中看到一個被棄置的手提袋, 好奇心的驅使下把它打開, 沒想裡面裝的不是錢不是毒品不是性玩具, 竟然是好大一把手槍! 當時他還真不知道到底要大叫還是大笑, 即興奮又焦急.

一把槍, 能夠做甚麼用呢?

槍的用途本來就不廣, 不是傷人就是殺人.

有了一把槍, 能夠做甚麼呢?

傷人, 要傷誰? 殺人, 又要殺誰呢?

他就這樣子胡思亂想著, 不停在街上亂鑽.

他打算讓自己冷靜下來, 便撥了個電話給小美, 一個他心儀了很久的女孩. 對方似乎也對他挺有興趣, 常常會接受他的邀請一起出去吃飯看電影. 每當跟她在一起, 心裡總是特別的踏實. 他打算去找她聊聊天, 也決定不把槍的事情告訴她.

在小美家的客廳裡, 他邊啜著咖啡邊跟小美東聊西聊, 雖然不著邊際可是卻還是很平靜.

"今晚一起吃個晚飯嗎?" 趙沙想了很就問道.

"嗯...不了...今天蠻累的...哪兒都不想去..."

"哦..." 他也不再說甚麼.

約一個小時後, 趙沙踏出了小美的公寓門口. 這時在門外迎面來了一個洋人, 他也不以為意, 繼續往前走. 只聽見身後洋人在按某家門鈴, 然後是開門聲, 然後是女孩的聲音說道:"Hi...I've been waiting for so long...where have you been?"

是小美的聲音.

趙沙掉回頭, 看到他們手拉著手進了公寓, 關上了門. 他走近小美的門口, 依稀聽到放浪的調笑聲.

目露兇光.

他按了按門鈴.

小美大概過了一分鐘才過來開門, 非常肯定他們不是普通關係.

小美見到是趙沙, 神情呆了一下:"阿沙,有...有甚麼事嗎? 我在忙著呢..."

趙沙心裡冷笑了一下, 你們當然忙得很! 嘴上卻說:"忘了些東西要拿."

小美問:"忘了甚麼? 我來幫你找找."

"不用了, 我自己來, 你忙你的."

"嗯...還是我來找吧, 現在不大方便---"

不等小美解釋完, 趙沙已經挨身進了公寓裡.

"Mei! What is it? Who's there?" 洋人在房裡面問.

趙沙隨聲跟了進去, 小美在跟後面不知如何是好. 只見洋人光了上身只剩下內褲坐在床上.

趙沙又氣又恨又是傷心, 袋子一打開就把槍亮出了來. 沒等洋人反應過來, 子彈已經穿過他喉嚨, 想叫也叫不出來了, 只聽到喉嚨的彈孔中發出"呵...呵...呵..."的漏氣聲.

小美哪裡還趕多等? 轉了身子就跑.

砰! 又是一槍, 子彈穿過她的如雲秀髮, 正中她後腦, 當下撲倒在地, 只有手腳輕輕在抽動.

洋人痛得直在房裡跌跌撞撞, 弄得牆上,床上,地上, 全是鮮血, 雙眼圓睜, 表情可怖, 趙沙看了心裡也直發毛. 定了定神, 他往洋人私處又開了一槍. 洋人痛得想大叫卻叫不出來, 只能夠在地上舞動手腳拼命掙扎.

趙沙不想再看下去, 把槍指到他額頭上補了一槍. 洋人終於靜了下來.

開了四槍, 鄰人哪有聽不見之理? 趙沙急急忙忙的離開了公寓, 逃了個不知去向.

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日本人有一個說法, 說如果讓一個人看到鑄造極為精美的日本武士刀, 他會萌起用刀殺人的念頭.

對趙沙來說, 這個說法的並不止於日本刀. 他自認為這把槍找到了存在的意義與價值, 認為自己是這把槍的伯樂.

他發現槍後的一個月裡面, 城裡發生了快十宗的女郎被射殺案件.

當然, 這正是這把槍目前存在的意義.

這些女孩曾經都把自己給拒絕了, 而且男友都是洋人.

犯案特徵如此明顯, 自然就是警方求之不得的事情.

這一天, 他站在某公寓走廊上, 望著站在另一頭用槍指著他叫他把槍放下的警察. 他剛又殺了一個女孩.

警察說甚麼他似乎沒有聽到, 或許是不感興趣. 因為他下一秒已經把警察給解決了, 然後想爬窗往外逃.

不爬可能沒事. 當他兩手抓牢窗外的水管時, 只聽到七層樓下面有人用擴音筒對他叫到:"事情已經完了! 乖乖下來就擒吧!"

趙沙冷笑了一下, 一隻手把槍對著地面狂開. 地面的警察亂成一團.

正當他享受那陣快感的時候...只覺得頭頂像被雷電轟到一樣, 狂震了一下... 接著眼前一片模糊, 流到口裡的, 原來是血...

他抬頭一看, 原來是剛才被自己打中的警察沒死, 從窗戶裡往他頭上開了一槍.

他就這樣飄到地面上, 悶响聲中, 腦花四濺. 趙沙全身骨骼都碎了, 可是手上還緊緊握著槍. 聽說醫院的人費盡了力氣怎麼扳也扳不開他的手指, 之後只好把連人帶槍葬了.

一把槍, 能做甚麼呢?

槍的用途不廣, 不外是傷人或殺人.

你有一把槍的話你會用來幹甚麼呢?

如果對方有槍的話, 你說, 他又會用它來做甚麼呢?

俑

我一個人在街上穿梭, 大雨亂灑在人擠人的街道上.

這裡是狹窄髒亂吵鬧冷漠的紐約市, 我每天奔走在這麼一個空間裡 --- 有時候是為了看一場電影或演奏, 更常是奔跑於排練之間.

有時候覺得自己是個會行走的俑, 每日面無表情的坐在地鐵上, 雙眼呆滯的望向前方, 不管時間有多緊迫都一樣.

人與人之間的距離, 形體上很近, 心靈上卻很遠.

有人問我, 為甚麼我那麼難找到一個人在身邊. 我想, 這並不由得我, 更不是說要找一個她就會有. 被拒絕幾乎成了慣性動作, 那種被拒絕時類似被人掌了一嘴的感覺也不記得了.

於是不讓人拒絕我成了一種習慣. 方法就是先拒絕別人, 不再上前去認識人 --- 反正人家也不會主動來認識你, 何必自討沒趣? 認識的話也就打個招呼了事, 因為幾乎可以預言如果深一層認識的下場.

這樣反而少了心傷的機率, 同時心也安定了下來.

當然, 這樣不免把我開始變成一個會走路的俑. 每天穿梭在人群之間, 自走自的路, 沒有人注意你, 你也不注意別人.

當看到讓自己心動的人, 就預先告訴自己判斷錯誤, 要不就說服自己她早有對象(而每次也確實是這樣).

俑, 只有自己的世界, 別人看到的只不過是呆呆的一尊泥塑, 背後的故事沒有人會多費心思去考究. 沒用的東西, 不小心被砸爛了也不會改變甚麼.

Heavyweights...

Now I really dunno what I did to deserve this session.

I was called by Randy Brecker's wife, Ada Rovatti to do a reading session on Saturday. The call was made on Friday.

Of course, I was panicked like fuck. Why? Because the name of the players in the band freaked me out.

Janek Gwizdala on bass. George Colligan on keyboard.

OK, I have to confess that I didn't know who George was, until Chris Howes told me how much he would love to do that session (he wasn't free) because George was playing. And yeah, he's really a motherfucker. And I just googled him...fuck...I can't finish counting all them great players he's playing with! Buster Williams, Mingus Dynasty, Mingus Big Band, Miguel Zenon, Gene Jackson, Ralph Alessi, Christian McBride, Billy Hart, Don Byron.......not to mention that he's also a drummer...

Janek Gwizdala, I saw him with Mike Stern, subbing for Richard Bona, who didn't show up last minute. Janek was having Indian food when Mike called him up and asked him if he could get over to 55 Bar "now" to play. No wonder I remember seeing him eating some spicy kinda food on the way into the bar! Just, you remember too right? Hehe... Although it was last minute, he sounded like he rehearsed the shit before. Damn...

Goddamn man...today is definitely a day to remember...

New York....Mosquitoes...

Just as I thought I hardly see any mosquitoes in New York...

I WAS BADLY BITTEN BY ONE FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!!!!!!!

I went to bed at 1.39am and thought I could get my much needed sleep for the rehearsal in New Jersey the next morning. I woke up scratching all over my arms and legs, wonder where the fuck is that little prick that stung me so bad.

I finally found that motherfucker but couldn't kill it!!

GRRR!!!!!!!

Now I'm sitting in my housemate's room, with strong cooling aircond.

The time... 5.27am...

The Magic of Richard Bona

Wow...

Wow...

Wow...