And there he came back
From his useless worries
Doubts beyond sense
It wasn't coincidence
It happened for a reason
And it taught him great lessons
Lessons of patience
Patience in waiting
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Outreach
And so he reached out his hand
Trying to touch another dimension
That he couldn't smell or hear
Seems like stupidity
But for him, makes the most sense
He believed
He trusted
And he wondered
Wondering if trance would help
Or cross-dimension capsule would
Perhaps the electrical wire would do?
Or simply the cable would send him there?
To see her
Once and for all
Trying to touch another dimension
That he couldn't smell or hear
Seems like stupidity
But for him, makes the most sense
He believed
He trusted
And he wondered
Wondering if trance would help
Or cross-dimension capsule would
Perhaps the electrical wire would do?
Or simply the cable would send him there?
To see her
Once and for all
Saturday, May 26, 2007
My Most Indecisive Time in My Life
Yup, it's now...
I'm nervous and afraid...
Is it really like what it seems?
Am I thinking too much?
I think I'm crazy...
Maybe she doesn't mean that at all, and I'm just imagining things...
It always happens...
Never did making such a big sacrifice for something like this...
Wish me luck...
I'm nervous and afraid...
Is it really like what it seems?
Am I thinking too much?
I think I'm crazy...
Maybe she doesn't mean that at all, and I'm just imagining things...
It always happens...
Never did making such a big sacrifice for something like this...
Wish me luck...
Thursday, May 24, 2007
LIRR's Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration
I was pleasantly surprised by the call I got a few weeks ago from Long Island Rail Road, asking me to play for their Asia/Pacific Heritage Celebration.
Today was the gig, I woke up pretty early in the morning, which was quite surprising, then I rushed to the Woodside Station to catch the train to LIRR's Hillside Maintenance side. LIRR provided the tickets to me!
My performance was after a talk by Harendra Sirisenda, a Sri Lankan scholar.
Funny shit was, the announcer pronunced my name as "Choi". WTF?!
Even funnier thing was, once he introduced me, he told the audiences to start having their food! Haha!
OK, so I was kind of an entertainer there. But hey, I get good money, why not?
So, whole-heartedly, I started my first piece, which was an untitled spontaneous improvisation. Some people actually sat down and listened to it, and clapped after I was done. Nice. So I continued finishing my programme by playing "Night at the Fishermen's Boat" and "Joy of Spring" --- two Chinese tunes that I can never forget in my life, as I've played it soooooo many times! Hehe...
Anyway, that's my gig today, not bad... Was fun, pressureless.
Today was the gig, I woke up pretty early in the morning, which was quite surprising, then I rushed to the Woodside Station to catch the train to LIRR's Hillside Maintenance side. LIRR provided the tickets to me!
My performance was after a talk by Harendra Sirisenda, a Sri Lankan scholar.
Funny shit was, the announcer pronunced my name as "Choi". WTF?!
Even funnier thing was, once he introduced me, he told the audiences to start having their food! Haha!
OK, so I was kind of an entertainer there. But hey, I get good money, why not?
So, whole-heartedly, I started my first piece, which was an untitled spontaneous improvisation. Some people actually sat down and listened to it, and clapped after I was done. Nice. So I continued finishing my programme by playing "Night at the Fishermen's Boat" and "Joy of Spring" --- two Chinese tunes that I can never forget in my life, as I've played it soooooo many times! Hehe...
Anyway, that's my gig today, not bad... Was fun, pressureless.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
hm...
Sometimes I wonder, if I were to have someone in my life, what would it be like?
Does she have to be a musician?
Let's say if she is a musician and is also a much badder motherfucker? How would I respond to it?
I always thought that I would be ashamed of myself for not being compatible to her, until Pete gave me a good slap in the face today.
He said, "Dude, this ain't fuckin' 15th century! Who gives a shit if your girl is badder than u? If she is, you should be proud of her. See?"
Wise words from Pete, but it is indeed very simple. I know this logic deep inside, but maybe I forgot to apply it to myself.
Then some shit that I told the UPM kids popped into my mind.
I told them, "You are what you are and nobody will snatch it away from you. There's always some quality that you have, people don't have. So when you see people better than you, you don't have to be afraid or lose your self esteem, because they might be jealous of your quality that they could never have --- while you don't even realize!"
I said this shit. And now I forgot about it! Ha!
The Man up there created us differently, but I believe that different people has different functions (or "purpose" like some religious people would call it) in this world. If we don't think that we are useless and start fully utilizing our very unique quality, we will serve that function. Thus nobody's ability and talent should be over-praised nor to be looked down at.
I was rehearsing in One World Symphony today, playing Shostakovich's Symphony No.10, had some fun, though it was still a little sloppy in some parts. As I was playing, I felt such rush and contentment inside that I was sort of inspired.
It wasn't the first time I had that feeling while playing, but this time it opens my thoughts up, and made me understood that why my concern was pure nonsense, as well as why Pete called me a "cock" when I told him about it.
Cuz I guess when you reach that state of mind while playing, you wouldn't even worry if your other half is Janine Jensen or Julia Fischer!
Does she have to be a musician?
Let's say if she is a musician and is also a much badder motherfucker? How would I respond to it?
I always thought that I would be ashamed of myself for not being compatible to her, until Pete gave me a good slap in the face today.
He said, "Dude, this ain't fuckin' 15th century! Who gives a shit if your girl is badder than u? If she is, you should be proud of her. See?"
Wise words from Pete, but it is indeed very simple. I know this logic deep inside, but maybe I forgot to apply it to myself.
Then some shit that I told the UPM kids popped into my mind.
I told them, "You are what you are and nobody will snatch it away from you. There's always some quality that you have, people don't have. So when you see people better than you, you don't have to be afraid or lose your self esteem, because they might be jealous of your quality that they could never have --- while you don't even realize!"
I said this shit. And now I forgot about it! Ha!
The Man up there created us differently, but I believe that different people has different functions (or "purpose" like some religious people would call it) in this world. If we don't think that we are useless and start fully utilizing our very unique quality, we will serve that function. Thus nobody's ability and talent should be over-praised nor to be looked down at.
I was rehearsing in One World Symphony today, playing Shostakovich's Symphony No.10, had some fun, though it was still a little sloppy in some parts. As I was playing, I felt such rush and contentment inside that I was sort of inspired.
It wasn't the first time I had that feeling while playing, but this time it opens my thoughts up, and made me understood that why my concern was pure nonsense, as well as why Pete called me a "cock" when I told him about it.
Cuz I guess when you reach that state of mind while playing, you wouldn't even worry if your other half is Janine Jensen or Julia Fischer!
Monday, May 21, 2007
What Have I Become in New York?
Sometimes I'll ask myself: What have I become after I came to New York?
For that, I have to recall how I was before I came here.
Let's see...
I have already started to gig around in KL before I came here --- a freelance musician, if you will. So that was pretty much what I'm doing now. But I wasn't as good as knowing people and network as now, that's for sure.
I was loud and talkative back then, but never as loud to voice out what I think or ask for what I deserve.
Knowing these facts tells me that I'm already a totally different person now.
There are both sides of such characteristics: I've either turned into a friendly person who is brave enough to say what he thinks, or I've become a fake socializing ass and a demanding little bastard.
I'm usually pretty careful with not crossing the thin line to the negative side of it but sometimes I still did it subconsciously.
What else have I become? Hm...
I know that I don't talk as much back home, for I'm always home alone, doing my thing. I've becoming quiet most of the time, and dark... I see things differently, often negative and pessimistic... and I'm colder than before, I don't feel for many things as before, I would stand there and watch the changing of a certain situation or issue...
"What have I become?"
Whenever I ask myself this question, and when these answers popped up to me, the words of the wise old man started to resonate in my head once again, he said,
"This is a place where you get it, or you lose it."
For that, I have to recall how I was before I came here.
Let's see...
I have already started to gig around in KL before I came here --- a freelance musician, if you will. So that was pretty much what I'm doing now. But I wasn't as good as knowing people and network as now, that's for sure.
I was loud and talkative back then, but never as loud to voice out what I think or ask for what I deserve.
Knowing these facts tells me that I'm already a totally different person now.
There are both sides of such characteristics: I've either turned into a friendly person who is brave enough to say what he thinks, or I've become a fake socializing ass and a demanding little bastard.
I'm usually pretty careful with not crossing the thin line to the negative side of it but sometimes I still did it subconsciously.
What else have I become? Hm...
I know that I don't talk as much back home, for I'm always home alone, doing my thing. I've becoming quiet most of the time, and dark... I see things differently, often negative and pessimistic... and I'm colder than before, I don't feel for many things as before, I would stand there and watch the changing of a certain situation or issue...
"What have I become?"
Whenever I ask myself this question, and when these answers popped up to me, the words of the wise old man started to resonate in my head once again, he said,
"This is a place where you get it, or you lose it."
Sunday, May 20, 2007
MET MET MET MET~~
Bitch yeah I watched the MET!!!!!
Man, they're so great man, now I see why they're regarded as the best among the US orchestras!! NYPO is nowhere near that!
The ensemble, and the sound, it comes right into your face, unlike the Phil players, sitting there like working an office job, with no passion and intensity.
David Chan, the concertmaster, holy shit man, he's a motherfucker!! His tone is so round and big, and his technique is just flawless!! But the music he makes man, THAT'S the shit I'm talking about!!! I haven't seen a violinist like that on the stage for quite some time, it's even rare among soloists!
Levine's conducting was simple and clear. He never does big movements, but you know what he wanted ---- even from the back.
But of course, it takes a great orchestra to carry out the conductor's intention.
The orchestra's response to a bit was EXACTLY half a beat delay --- no matter what tempo Levine took. They followed him as tight as superglue!
The result of the delayed response, was the round and bubble-like sound.
Damn it was good!
GO MET!!! GO MET!!!
Man, they're so great man, now I see why they're regarded as the best among the US orchestras!! NYPO is nowhere near that!
The ensemble, and the sound, it comes right into your face, unlike the Phil players, sitting there like working an office job, with no passion and intensity.
David Chan, the concertmaster, holy shit man, he's a motherfucker!! His tone is so round and big, and his technique is just flawless!! But the music he makes man, THAT'S the shit I'm talking about!!! I haven't seen a violinist like that on the stage for quite some time, it's even rare among soloists!
Levine's conducting was simple and clear. He never does big movements, but you know what he wanted ---- even from the back.
But of course, it takes a great orchestra to carry out the conductor's intention.
The orchestra's response to a bit was EXACTLY half a beat delay --- no matter what tempo Levine took. They followed him as tight as superglue!
The result of the delayed response, was the round and bubble-like sound.
Damn it was good!
GO MET!!! GO MET!!!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Do I need a title for this?
It's 12:42pm
Moon is bright
Out to buy a bagel
Smell roti canai instead
Wind's cold
T-shirt, shorts and slippers are just nice
Life's hectic
Sit down and have a teh tarik
Lonely here
Furiosity there
Oh my one whole brain
Splitted mind in 2
New York
Kuala Lumpur
Moon is bright
Out to buy a bagel
Smell roti canai instead
Wind's cold
T-shirt, shorts and slippers are just nice
Life's hectic
Sit down and have a teh tarik
Lonely here
Furiosity there
Oh my one whole brain
Splitted mind in 2
New York
Kuala Lumpur
Friday, May 18, 2007
A Day of being a Tour Guide
Met up with HZ and her parents today, for the first time. HZ is 12 and very talented, hardworking, and smart. Very nicely brought-up too. Her parents are very cool ones, just like my own parents, they're not those "super-star" parents who want to make their child a prodigy ------- the reason I use the word "make" is because their children are simply not prodigies. They're very down-to-earth.
So I brought them to lunch, but they paid for me instead, thanking me for spending time with them...sigh... malulah, I just feel that I should do that and help my fellow countrymen as much as I can, no need any return lah...
But anyways, I led them to walk from 51 St to Lincoln Center ---- from the willingness to walk, I could tell that they're very sporting also, again, like my parents! Haha...
Then I brought them to see Juilliard, didn't plan to smuggle them into the building because I'm not a Juilliard student. But then, man oh man, ain't that a bitch? Mr. Etienne Charles appeared in front of me waving his hand!
Damn, was he nice! He took the initiative to ask HZ if she wants to take a look at the school, and then signed all of us in.
So he showed us the facilities they have and shit. Even I haven't really seen those things, having been to Juilliard a few times. Thanks to him, I got to see them!
During the visit, I met Zhou Tian in the computer lab, printing his music, obviously. Then we met Andrea, the Canadian cellist from HMI 2006, while waiting for the elevator! Funny thing is, Jeremy just mentioned about her the other day.
After the little Juilliard tour, I brought them to Kaufman Center for HZ's hour-long practice session. Man, one hour sounds pretty short to me, I hope she had enough time...
Then I brought them to walk around to see Times Square, then to Rockerfeller Center, then to St. Patrick's, until little HZ started to turn extremely tired and sleepy. Understandable, it's the jetlag. She's been pretty persistent in walking with us without making a noise, which I was pretty impressed.
So we went to Sapporo to eat ramen --- again, malunya~~ they paid for it again.
Then I sent them back to their hotel. At the entrance of the hotel, little HZ handed me a treble-clef-shaped Carnegie Hall pencil as a gift. She's such a sweetheart! Then she handed me another gift from Chong Lim. Man... u shouldn't have!! Anyway, I miss our movie sessions man, I will be back soon and make sure to hang out with you again!
x x x x
Then I went to watch Chris Potter, Miguel Zenon and Antonio Sanchez playing in 55 Bar.
What more can I say??
They're the definition of "badass mouthafuckas"!!!!
So I brought them to lunch, but they paid for me instead, thanking me for spending time with them...sigh... malulah, I just feel that I should do that and help my fellow countrymen as much as I can, no need any return lah...
But anyways, I led them to walk from 51 St to Lincoln Center ---- from the willingness to walk, I could tell that they're very sporting also, again, like my parents! Haha...
Then I brought them to see Juilliard, didn't plan to smuggle them into the building because I'm not a Juilliard student. But then, man oh man, ain't that a bitch? Mr. Etienne Charles appeared in front of me waving his hand!
Damn, was he nice! He took the initiative to ask HZ if she wants to take a look at the school, and then signed all of us in.
So he showed us the facilities they have and shit. Even I haven't really seen those things, having been to Juilliard a few times. Thanks to him, I got to see them!
During the visit, I met Zhou Tian in the computer lab, printing his music, obviously. Then we met Andrea, the Canadian cellist from HMI 2006, while waiting for the elevator! Funny thing is, Jeremy just mentioned about her the other day.
After the little Juilliard tour, I brought them to Kaufman Center for HZ's hour-long practice session. Man, one hour sounds pretty short to me, I hope she had enough time...
Then I brought them to walk around to see Times Square, then to Rockerfeller Center, then to St. Patrick's, until little HZ started to turn extremely tired and sleepy. Understandable, it's the jetlag. She's been pretty persistent in walking with us without making a noise, which I was pretty impressed.
So we went to Sapporo to eat ramen --- again, malunya~~ they paid for it again.
Then I sent them back to their hotel. At the entrance of the hotel, little HZ handed me a treble-clef-shaped Carnegie Hall pencil as a gift. She's such a sweetheart! Then she handed me another gift from Chong Lim. Man... u shouldn't have!! Anyway, I miss our movie sessions man, I will be back soon and make sure to hang out with you again!
x x x x
Then I went to watch Chris Potter, Miguel Zenon and Antonio Sanchez playing in 55 Bar.
What more can I say??
They're the definition of "badass mouthafuckas"!!!!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Not 6 though!
Wow, our first show ever wasn't having 6 audiences! There were more than 10 people in the choral room!
The prophecy has been destroyed!!
Good thing was, people dug our shit.
Our gig in Hope, too, went well. There weren't many people, but again, people dug our shit. And thanks to Akim, the atmosphere of the set was being stirred to the highest!
Thanks to Meesh and Brando --- my dear colleagues; and also thanks to my buddy Jeremy on the amazing cello playing! Special thanks to Francesca for providing us a thicker texture in Queens College!
Love you all~
The prophecy has been destroyed!!
Good thing was, people dug our shit.
Our gig in Hope, too, went well. There weren't many people, but again, people dug our shit. And thanks to Akim, the atmosphere of the set was being stirred to the highest!
Thanks to Meesh and Brando --- my dear colleagues; and also thanks to my buddy Jeremy on the amazing cello playing! Special thanks to Francesca for providing us a thicker texture in Queens College!
Love you all~
Saturday, May 12, 2007
What's up with the number "6"?
So there were 6 people in the audience.
What's up with that? There were also 6 people in the 169 Bar gig.
Does "6" hold some kind of a secret?
Maybe I should fulfilled the Devil's number "666" to get some more audiences?
So let's see if I get another 6 people for my next show, haha!
But who gives a fuck how many people came? Justin and me had great fun!! Goddammit, that's more important!!
Yeah man, we recorded that shit, wanna listen how it sounded like.
I'm glad that Nicholas was there, and another fellow Malaysian, Debbie, Just's girlfriend was there too. Always good to have Malaysians around! Too bad Kee Yong had to cancel the night before because he had interview to do.
Justin's piece "Not Three, Not Four" was really some shit, I can't stop singing it even till now (now that I'm drunk). Man, this guy's a motherfucker, he deserves wider recognition, seriously!!
I thought my pieces worked well too, except "Welcome Mr. Lim!!" which we both screwed up a bit, haha!!
We four Malaysians went to a Korean BBQ place after the show, we're happy and content.
Man, I wish to have the same kinda fun when I go home for KL PAC this July. Similar materials will be played.
Thanks Michelle for playing for us! Really appreciate it!! You sounded fantastic on my tunes, and thanks for liking my tunes! It's always wonderful to know that a great musician likes my shit.
What's up with that? There were also 6 people in the 169 Bar gig.
Does "6" hold some kind of a secret?
Maybe I should fulfilled the Devil's number "666" to get some more audiences?
So let's see if I get another 6 people for my next show, haha!
But who gives a fuck how many people came? Justin and me had great fun!! Goddammit, that's more important!!
Yeah man, we recorded that shit, wanna listen how it sounded like.
I'm glad that Nicholas was there, and another fellow Malaysian, Debbie, Just's girlfriend was there too. Always good to have Malaysians around! Too bad Kee Yong had to cancel the night before because he had interview to do.
Justin's piece "Not Three, Not Four" was really some shit, I can't stop singing it even till now (now that I'm drunk). Man, this guy's a motherfucker, he deserves wider recognition, seriously!!
I thought my pieces worked well too, except "Welcome Mr. Lim!!" which we both screwed up a bit, haha!!
We four Malaysians went to a Korean BBQ place after the show, we're happy and content.
Man, I wish to have the same kinda fun when I go home for KL PAC this July. Similar materials will be played.
Thanks Michelle for playing for us! Really appreciate it!! You sounded fantastic on my tunes, and thanks for liking my tunes! It's always wonderful to know that a great musician likes my shit.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Welcome Mr Lim!!
Don't be confused by the title, Justin has been in town since Tuesday. This title is just the title of a tune I wrote to "welcome" him.
Welcome indeed, it's hard for a pianist to play it. HAHA!
We're gonna perform today. I couldn't sleep anymore, too excited!!
OK, I need to copy a nice-looking "A Few Words with JaC".
Will be back later, after the show.
Welcome indeed, it's hard for a pianist to play it. HAHA!
We're gonna perform today. I couldn't sleep anymore, too excited!!
OK, I need to copy a nice-looking "A Few Words with JaC".
Will be back later, after the show.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
This Town
Jiyoun told me she has a crazy life here in the City.
"How so?" I asked. She couldn't answer. After a moment of thoughts, she replied, "I feel I'm getting old."
I said she's just a couple years older than me, why old?
She said not the age --- she feels old inside. She said time runs away so fast in this town, and so little is achieved.
I told her I have the same feeling, I can't really tell if I'm empty or lonely here. Can't be lonely right? I have so many friends here. But I've never felt content.
She agreed with me, she felt the same.
xxxxxxx
I met an old wise man in Brooklyn who lived here for more than 30 years.
I asked him what does he think of the City?
He gave me a simple yet deep answer, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."
xxxxxxx
We're both people from another place foreign to this town. We're here because we're searching for something.
After our conversation on the train, the wise man's words were ringing in my head, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."
...this is a place where you get it, or lose it.
"How so?" I asked. She couldn't answer. After a moment of thoughts, she replied, "I feel I'm getting old."
I said she's just a couple years older than me, why old?
She said not the age --- she feels old inside. She said time runs away so fast in this town, and so little is achieved.
I told her I have the same feeling, I can't really tell if I'm empty or lonely here. Can't be lonely right? I have so many friends here. But I've never felt content.
She agreed with me, she felt the same.
xxxxxxx
I met an old wise man in Brooklyn who lived here for more than 30 years.
I asked him what does he think of the City?
He gave me a simple yet deep answer, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."
xxxxxxx
We're both people from another place foreign to this town. We're here because we're searching for something.
After our conversation on the train, the wise man's words were ringing in my head, "This is a place where you get it, or lose it."
...this is a place where you get it, or lose it.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Epilogue of a Daydream
He sat in front of the computer screen for two hours, doing nothing but waiting for her reply.
Yet she didn't.
She used to be enthusiastic since last week. She said hi herself once he popped up online, she talked a lot, laughed at his jokes, playing online games together.
She told him she was lonely, that she's tired waiting for the one she's been waiting for.
He happily accepted her invitation to her world.
He went online on time, tried to make her happy and cheer her up.
And now it's dead silence. Dead silence since 5 days ago.
He didn't understand what happened. Is she alright? Hm... since she's online, she shuold be OK, right?...
x x x x x x x
She typed in a few words and pressed "Enter".
On the white chat window it said, "Happy to see you back, baby! I miss you so much! Promise me you won't live me again!"
The reply was, "I never did, and I never will. I was just to busy, forgive me hon."
She smiled.
x x x x x x x
A nightmare shook him awake and he didn't remember what it was about.
The air was cold, the sky was very dark. Maybe a few stars and a pale moon.
The clock pointed at 4am.
He shut down the machine and went to bed with all question marks filling his chest.
Yet she didn't.
She used to be enthusiastic since last week. She said hi herself once he popped up online, she talked a lot, laughed at his jokes, playing online games together.
She told him she was lonely, that she's tired waiting for the one she's been waiting for.
He happily accepted her invitation to her world.
He went online on time, tried to make her happy and cheer her up.
And now it's dead silence. Dead silence since 5 days ago.
He didn't understand what happened. Is she alright? Hm... since she's online, she shuold be OK, right?...
x x x x x x x
She typed in a few words and pressed "Enter".
On the white chat window it said, "Happy to see you back, baby! I miss you so much! Promise me you won't live me again!"
The reply was, "I never did, and I never will. I was just to busy, forgive me hon."
She smiled.
x x x x x x x
A nightmare shook him awake and he didn't remember what it was about.
The air was cold, the sky was very dark. Maybe a few stars and a pale moon.
The clock pointed at 4am.
He shut down the machine and went to bed with all question marks filling his chest.
Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra
I recently heard some news of the Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra.
Totally depressed.
They always say they need locals to be in it, but then? They tell you you're too young and shit.
Fuck that man!!
Why can't you let a local to be in the assistant principal position ---- one who happens to play so well, studied with Janos Starker and Joel Krosnick?!!
It's completely stupid!!!
Yeah right you want locals... you're bunch of racists you motherfuckers! TRAITORS if not racists!!
Oh, people played a great audition who got a full applause and you don't give her the job?!!
Is this how you treat your fellow countrymen?!!
God dammit!!
Let me tell you, Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra! I'm not gonna join you unless you change your attitude!! NOT IN MY FUCKIN' LIFE!!!!
Totally depressed.
They always say they need locals to be in it, but then? They tell you you're too young and shit.
Fuck that man!!
Why can't you let a local to be in the assistant principal position ---- one who happens to play so well, studied with Janos Starker and Joel Krosnick?!!
It's completely stupid!!!
Yeah right you want locals... you're bunch of racists you motherfuckers! TRAITORS if not racists!!
Oh, people played a great audition who got a full applause and you don't give her the job?!!
Is this how you treat your fellow countrymen?!!
God dammit!!
Let me tell you, Motherfuckin' Prick Orchestra! I'm not gonna join you unless you change your attitude!! NOT IN MY FUCKIN' LIFE!!!!
Friday, May 04, 2007
被绑 Kidnapped
他悠悠醒转,眼皮外是一片昏暗,唯有烛光似的微微亮光在半空中摇摇晃晃，但因为刚睁开眼睛，所以还没对焦，不敢肯定是否真是烛光。
他相当镇定，一动不动的在思考到底是怎么回事。
他感觉到自己是直立的，可是脚底没有地面的触感 ---- 原来自己是凌空的。进而发觉自己双臂是往上吊的。过不久还全身感到一股寒意 ---- 原来衣服被人剥光了。
他想叫喊，可是这才知道自己嘴里不知道什么时候多了一颗鸭蛋大的球体，只听到喉咙里咕噜咕噜几声，就再也发不出什么声音了。
这时他眼睛已经慢慢适应了环境，开始东张西望。当然也看不到什么东西，就只看到摇曳的亮光原来是火把，不是烛光。同时也看到了自己四周是石砌的墙壁，连地面，面前的一小段不知往上通去哪里的梯级，都是方形大石块砌成的。
女孩不知道什么时候从梯级鬼魅似的移动下来，身上裹着白袍，配上她洁净且无一丝瑕疵的完美肌肤，丰厚诱人的红唇，以及海蓝蓝的一双眼睛，活像个古希腊女神。她手上握着一件由皮革包起来的东西，略呈棒形，却不知道是什么玩意儿。
看到这么美艳绝伦的女子，他反而害怕起来，心里在歇斯底里的狂叫，偏生嘴里只能发出“呜呜”两声，整个胸腔快裂开似的。
女孩噗哧一笑，娇滴滴的道：“你呀，就是这么胆小，人家跟你玩玩你也怕成这个样子！”说着竟顺手在他左脸上抽了一记耳光，脸上还是那可爱的笑容。
这耳光还真不是开玩笑的，他脸上马上红肿了起来。糟的是他要喊痛也没有机会，只有眼泪直冒的份儿。
女孩竟怜惜地道: “哎哟哎哟,哭啦?对不起宝贝，我可是用最小的力气了呢！我平时可以打得更狠呢，像这样！”话音未落，又是一记耳光扫在他右颊上。这一次可真痛到他心扉里面去了，脸上还温温的流了一道鲜血。
他又气又恨，没来由的被凌空吊在这鬼地方，还被无端端的抽了两个耳光，可就是苦于不能放声大骂。
女孩又怜惜的说：“哎哟，还留血了啊？真没用呢！”语音中又带点调皮的气息，要不是在这种环境之下，他肯定会被她迷倒。
“你别以为我光会打你，我待你可好的呢！”说着她已走到一张他之前没有注意到的小桌子前，把皮卷轻轻放在桌上，哗啦的一声把它摊开。
他这一惊可是非同小可：皮卷里包的原来净是刀子啊，鞭子啊，还有许多不可名状的刑具跟武器！！
他额头直冒冷汗，呼吸急促且不稳定 ---- 他知道自己这一次完了。
还是叫不出来，可是喉咙比之前更加卖力的挤出一些令人听了胆颤心寒的怪声音，是那么悲戚绝望。
女孩说：“你到喊喊，不然会很不舒服的。”说着就走过来把他嘴里的球体拉开。
他不假思索的就大骂：“你这疯婊子！！你想干嘛？！！操你奶奶的雄啊！！！我操，你到底想把我怎样？！！”
女孩还是跟之前一样悠然自得的说：“哎哟，你嚷什么嚷啊？我说啊亲爱的，你要选哪一件来玩？”说着把双手对着桌子摊开。
“他妈的谁来跟你玩啊？！！！你快放我走！！！放我走啊！！！！！！要不然外面有人听到了我的求救声去叫警察的话，你自己也没戏唱了！！！”
女孩娇嗔道：“谁说人家会听到啦？这石墙可牢固呢！哎哟，你还是快快选自己喜欢的玩具啦！又是你自己说要玩的。”
“谁来跟你玩？！！！臭疯婆娘！！！”他这样说的当儿，她已经把一把像雕木头的用的刀子举了起来，一步一步驱近。
“你干嘛？！！你想干什么？！！你...！！”话还没说完，胸口一疼，接着小溪般的鲜血就开始冒出。那道痕少说也有七寸长。
他这回终于确定她是来真的了。绝望之下，叫骂声竟然变成了恳求声：“你干嘛要这样啊？？呜...呜...为什么就没来由的就把我抓来这种地方拿我来开玩笑啊？？求求你放了我吧！！大恩大德永生不忘啊！！”
女孩把白袍脱了，露出被黑皮条紧绑着的诱人美体。
他看得目瞪口呆 --- 这疯女人到底想怎样？！！
女子又拿起刀子，口里说道：“谁说我没来由了？是你自己说要玩的。我可是爱你爱得不得了哪，才带你来玩的。又是你自己说要我这样穿要我去买这些器具的。”
男人的头好像被重量级拳手重重敲了一下似的，有点晕眩：他终于知道事情的真相了！！
原来眼前这个自己完全不认识的女孩是自己在MSN上大概一个月前恶作剧的对象，说要跟她玩S/M。
看来是咎由自取了。
女孩又是一刀又是一鞭的，他只有凄厉惨叫跟挣扎的份。
她脸上现出了一个心满意足的微笑...
他相当镇定，一动不动的在思考到底是怎么回事。
他感觉到自己是直立的，可是脚底没有地面的触感 ---- 原来自己是凌空的。进而发觉自己双臂是往上吊的。过不久还全身感到一股寒意 ---- 原来衣服被人剥光了。
他想叫喊，可是这才知道自己嘴里不知道什么时候多了一颗鸭蛋大的球体，只听到喉咙里咕噜咕噜几声，就再也发不出什么声音了。
这时他眼睛已经慢慢适应了环境，开始东张西望。当然也看不到什么东西，就只看到摇曳的亮光原来是火把，不是烛光。同时也看到了自己四周是石砌的墙壁，连地面，面前的一小段不知往上通去哪里的梯级，都是方形大石块砌成的。
女孩不知道什么时候从梯级鬼魅似的移动下来，身上裹着白袍，配上她洁净且无一丝瑕疵的完美肌肤，丰厚诱人的红唇，以及海蓝蓝的一双眼睛，活像个古希腊女神。她手上握着一件由皮革包起来的东西，略呈棒形，却不知道是什么玩意儿。
看到这么美艳绝伦的女子，他反而害怕起来，心里在歇斯底里的狂叫，偏生嘴里只能发出“呜呜”两声，整个胸腔快裂开似的。
女孩噗哧一笑，娇滴滴的道：“你呀，就是这么胆小，人家跟你玩玩你也怕成这个样子！”说着竟顺手在他左脸上抽了一记耳光，脸上还是那可爱的笑容。
这耳光还真不是开玩笑的，他脸上马上红肿了起来。糟的是他要喊痛也没有机会，只有眼泪直冒的份儿。
女孩竟怜惜地道: “哎哟哎哟,哭啦?对不起宝贝，我可是用最小的力气了呢！我平时可以打得更狠呢，像这样！”话音未落，又是一记耳光扫在他右颊上。这一次可真痛到他心扉里面去了，脸上还温温的流了一道鲜血。
他又气又恨，没来由的被凌空吊在这鬼地方，还被无端端的抽了两个耳光，可就是苦于不能放声大骂。
女孩又怜惜的说：“哎哟，还留血了啊？真没用呢！”语音中又带点调皮的气息，要不是在这种环境之下，他肯定会被她迷倒。
“你别以为我光会打你，我待你可好的呢！”说着她已走到一张他之前没有注意到的小桌子前，把皮卷轻轻放在桌上，哗啦的一声把它摊开。
他这一惊可是非同小可：皮卷里包的原来净是刀子啊，鞭子啊，还有许多不可名状的刑具跟武器！！
他额头直冒冷汗，呼吸急促且不稳定 ---- 他知道自己这一次完了。
还是叫不出来，可是喉咙比之前更加卖力的挤出一些令人听了胆颤心寒的怪声音，是那么悲戚绝望。
女孩说：“你到喊喊，不然会很不舒服的。”说着就走过来把他嘴里的球体拉开。
他不假思索的就大骂：“你这疯婊子！！你想干嘛？！！操你奶奶的雄啊！！！我操，你到底想把我怎样？！！”
女孩还是跟之前一样悠然自得的说：“哎哟，你嚷什么嚷啊？我说啊亲爱的，你要选哪一件来玩？”说着把双手对着桌子摊开。
“他妈的谁来跟你玩啊？！！！你快放我走！！！放我走啊！！！！！！要不然外面有人听到了我的求救声去叫警察的话，你自己也没戏唱了！！！”
女孩娇嗔道：“谁说人家会听到啦？这石墙可牢固呢！哎哟，你还是快快选自己喜欢的玩具啦！又是你自己说要玩的。”
“谁来跟你玩？！！！臭疯婆娘！！！”他这样说的当儿，她已经把一把像雕木头的用的刀子举了起来，一步一步驱近。
“你干嘛？！！你想干什么？！！你...！！”话还没说完，胸口一疼，接着小溪般的鲜血就开始冒出。那道痕少说也有七寸长。
他这回终于确定她是来真的了。绝望之下，叫骂声竟然变成了恳求声：“你干嘛要这样啊？？呜...呜...为什么就没来由的就把我抓来这种地方拿我来开玩笑啊？？求求你放了我吧！！大恩大德永生不忘啊！！”
女孩把白袍脱了，露出被黑皮条紧绑着的诱人美体。
他看得目瞪口呆 --- 这疯女人到底想怎样？！！
女子又拿起刀子，口里说道：“谁说我没来由了？是你自己说要玩的。我可是爱你爱得不得了哪，才带你来玩的。又是你自己说要我这样穿要我去买这些器具的。”
男人的头好像被重量级拳手重重敲了一下似的，有点晕眩：他终于知道事情的真相了！！
原来眼前这个自己完全不认识的女孩是自己在MSN上大概一个月前恶作剧的对象，说要跟她玩S/M。
看来是咎由自取了。
女孩又是一刀又是一鞭的，他只有凄厉惨叫跟挣扎的份。
她脸上现出了一个心满意足的微笑...
Thursday, May 03, 2007
The End of the World
Sky, entirely orange, thickened by rolling clouds and grumbling thunder, with an eye of a spiral in the middle, ever spinning.
Earth, bare, dry, and liveless, not even a crow could be seen.
They seem so close together, the sky and the earth.
But when he appeared in between, one could see there were more space than one would imagine, under that visual condition. Thus, it puts a man to shame to see how tiny he was.
But that simply didn't mean anything now.
The end is near, and he was the last one.
No, he was not, his laptop was still alive.
He was stripped naked, dirt and dust all over his body. He felt hot and dry, thirst of water but didn't have a drop since 5 days ago. His only companion now was his laptop that for some reason was still alive without battery, and still online.
The girl on the other end might have been rotten or done pecking by hungry crows for days. That end should be a place called the United Kingdom or Britain, or some called it England, before the world fell apart.
He remember that the last thing she told him while having a casual conversation was "If the world comes to an end, I pray to God don't let me be the last one to die!" While he replied, "No, let me be the last one to die, cuz I have nothing, just a lonesome figure in the human world, waiting for his doom someday, it makes no difference whether I live longer or shorter."
This was a promise he sort of made for fun, not without his usual bitterness towards his own love life --- always falling in love with the wrong girls on the net.
But not so much later, he found out that there really was such thing as "God is listening to your prayer".
His wish was granted. Now he is walking alone, tired, weak, but still far away from death, with his laptop that has a chat window that connects to the other end that will never respond.
But once in a while, he would type in a few words and send it over to her. That's her only way of feeling like a human ---- that's what they said: Human needs companion.
He kept on walking on earth for about a week more, when he finally really really exhausted, and realised that the end is near for him. He collapsed.
His fingers were still noodling over the keyboard, his spelling was still precise even though his fingers were trembling.
Slowly and surely he typed.
"My our has come, my love. I feel proud to be the last human being to witness it all. I'm in pain, great pain. I'm hungry, thirsty, and tired. In fact I do not know what kept me alive till now. My skin is burning because of the heat of the ground I'm laying on now, it kills my nerves! But I still do not regret dying for you, my love. It is my greatest pleasure in my life. Goodbye, and hello..."
Enter.
And the battery went off.
Silence.
Darkness.
Earth, bare, dry, and liveless, not even a crow could be seen.
They seem so close together, the sky and the earth.
But when he appeared in between, one could see there were more space than one would imagine, under that visual condition. Thus, it puts a man to shame to see how tiny he was.
But that simply didn't mean anything now.
The end is near, and he was the last one.
No, he was not, his laptop was still alive.
He was stripped naked, dirt and dust all over his body. He felt hot and dry, thirst of water but didn't have a drop since 5 days ago. His only companion now was his laptop that for some reason was still alive without battery, and still online.
The girl on the other end might have been rotten or done pecking by hungry crows for days. That end should be a place called the United Kingdom or Britain, or some called it England, before the world fell apart.
He remember that the last thing she told him while having a casual conversation was "If the world comes to an end, I pray to God don't let me be the last one to die!" While he replied, "No, let me be the last one to die, cuz I have nothing, just a lonesome figure in the human world, waiting for his doom someday, it makes no difference whether I live longer or shorter."
This was a promise he sort of made for fun, not without his usual bitterness towards his own love life --- always falling in love with the wrong girls on the net.
But not so much later, he found out that there really was such thing as "God is listening to your prayer".
His wish was granted. Now he is walking alone, tired, weak, but still far away from death, with his laptop that has a chat window that connects to the other end that will never respond.
But once in a while, he would type in a few words and send it over to her. That's her only way of feeling like a human ---- that's what they said: Human needs companion.
He kept on walking on earth for about a week more, when he finally really really exhausted, and realised that the end is near for him. He collapsed.
His fingers were still noodling over the keyboard, his spelling was still precise even though his fingers were trembling.
Slowly and surely he typed.
"My our has come, my love. I feel proud to be the last human being to witness it all. I'm in pain, great pain. I'm hungry, thirsty, and tired. In fact I do not know what kept me alive till now. My skin is burning because of the heat of the ground I'm laying on now, it kills my nerves! But I still do not regret dying for you, my love. It is my greatest pleasure in my life. Goodbye, and hello..."
Enter.
And the battery went off.
Silence.
Darkness.
Bunch of CRAP!
There are a certain kind of people in this world, who are a bunch of motherfuckin' idiots and think that they are great and in high places and try to step on you like you're nothing more than an ant.
This kinda people exists everywhere in the world but sadly, they especially like to appear in a place that provides the best job one can have in my dear country.
They don't look at how good you are, or how capable one can be.
They look at how old you are.
Yes.
When you catch a big fish, you think you can catch a bigger one, and let it go just like that, doesn't that just mean you're fuckin' stupid?
I think so, personally.
I dunno why this kinda fucked up policy exists, and I also don't understand why that kinda people is running that place.
If they think they can save the day by trying to show how superior they are, they're wrong. They won't save the day, and instead, they will ruin themselves first for sure. Isn't that coming true nowadays?
See how many people would still wanna put up with your stuck up attitude and all that bullshit you give to people who come to admire your ass? If you don't wanna wake up, it's fine with me. But I wanna tell you that the dream is over, muthafucka!
Get over it!
This kinda people exists everywhere in the world but sadly, they especially like to appear in a place that provides the best job one can have in my dear country.
They don't look at how good you are, or how capable one can be.
They look at how old you are.
Yes.
When you catch a big fish, you think you can catch a bigger one, and let it go just like that, doesn't that just mean you're fuckin' stupid?
I think so, personally.
I dunno why this kinda fucked up policy exists, and I also don't understand why that kinda people is running that place.
If they think they can save the day by trying to show how superior they are, they're wrong. They won't save the day, and instead, they will ruin themselves first for sure. Isn't that coming true nowadays?
See how many people would still wanna put up with your stuck up attitude and all that bullshit you give to people who come to admire your ass? If you don't wanna wake up, it's fine with me. But I wanna tell you that the dream is over, muthafucka!
Get over it!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
CHONG KEE YONG IS IN TOWWWWNNNN~~~~!!!
OK, now I'm really excited!!
Why?!!
Because one of Malaysia's leading composers in HERE in NYC!!!
Yes, that's the guy who won so many MPO composers forum!!!
Chong Kee Yong is his name, or "Kee Yong Chong", like the stupid westerners call him usually.
He recently worked with Ensemble Modern ---- one of the best contemporary ensembles in Europe!! Now what more do I have to say how kick-ass he is?
Kee Yong gave me an email this morning, telling me that he already arrived, so I called him up. I hope we can work some shit out during his 6-month period here...
I'm meeting him up tomorrow to makan lunch!!
Why?!!
Because one of Malaysia's leading composers in HERE in NYC!!!
Yes, that's the guy who won so many MPO composers forum!!!
Chong Kee Yong is his name, or "Kee Yong Chong", like the stupid westerners call him usually.
He recently worked with Ensemble Modern ---- one of the best contemporary ensembles in Europe!! Now what more do I have to say how kick-ass he is?
Kee Yong gave me an email this morning, telling me that he already arrived, so I called him up. I hope we can work some shit out during his 6-month period here...
I'm meeting him up tomorrow to makan lunch!!
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