Slept right through!

Damn I slept right through my orchestra today!

Feels so good!!

Shitchyah!!!!!!!!!

Just me and my soju...

In this Saturday night, most other people might be going crazy in the bar, dancing in some clubs, watching a concert or a movie, chillin' in a resturant, doing Halloween party somewhere, wondering around the streets, making love with their lovers...

But I'm just here, drinking my soju, getting buzzed, listen to a newly bought CD, thinking of her, hating myself, talking to my own blog...

That's basically what my life is right now, except playing music and get high on music, it's still music.

I should be happy right?

I should!

But why am I not?

Maybe I'm just another greedy person who's never satisfied with his current life.

I suppose so...

自饮自酌本当自得其乐，奈何佳人无心，君子有意，问天不得回应，问地不闻声息。喜耶？悲耶？岂我俗人可知？未知果实，不可审断之！佳人若他日有心，自当乐而为伴。唯独他人心意岂能猜度？嗟乎！不如一醉天明！

M's Reject

I found a new title for my next tune, it's gonna be "M's Reject".

But I still dunno how the song would sound like. Might sound pretty horrifying or intimidating...

We'll see...

Some new advice from Ray Pizzi...

RPIZZI2 (11:14:54 PM): Stay with it, even when your doing "industry" jobs, stay with it, keep the shit going. Don't wait, devise the means for keeping alive and start as soon as possible. You need to grow past the Evil Twin Syndrome, don't wait and want anymore. Start accomplishing stuff. Stop putting up barriers. Get yourself play records now, get into shape before you play with live guys. That way you'll have a tune base to choose from. Start with standards, eventually the experience and knowledge will tell you when to embark

RPIZZI2 (11:15:43 PM): on your own compositions which will then have harmonic and melodic substance.

RPIZZI2 (11:17:48 PM): If you need any help, I'm here.

Orchestra rehearsal

No, this is not about the movie...

I know, I know... there's a movie by Fellini that has this title...

Anyway, today's Wednesday, so naturally, there was orchestra rehearsal!! Yay~~~

Wait, why do I sound so happy? I dunno. I shouldn't be. There could be a reason. But maybe I reason that I should explain in my other blog.

Anyways...

No, it didn't went well. Was pretty bad actually.

I was sitting with this chick who had no clue what to do but still played as loud as Joe Venuti.

But I didn't get mad at her and show my face or anything.

I know she's not up to that level, she's forced to play music that is WAY over her ability. I'm cool with it. I'm being patient about it.

I think one of the reasons that makes me reacted so was my own experiences (bad ones of course!) from the Malaysian Phil.

I was a hard time in there when some of the members in there were bitchin' at me telling me to keep my volume down and shit. I mean, if they told me nicely, it's fine. They either gave me a nasty look or simply just spitted words like "CAN'T YOU PLAY SOFTER?!!".

There are many ways with dealing with people who are in a lower position than you (experience wise). One is to get pissed yourself and later on piss them off as well; the other one is just to be nice and make him/her feel comfortable.

Now, why make yourself feel bad first of all? You KNOW that they can't be as good as you for the time being, even though you yelled at them and beaten them up.

So I chose to be the second type myself. When I really can't stand it, I would just suggest to them about what to do. Isn't that much better? Even if they didn't like your suggestions, they wouldn't get mad at you.

What an experience in MPO! I didn't only learn how to play in orchestra professionally, I also learned how to be a more decent person.

My student's fucking mother!!!

Chau jibai!!!!!

Pukimak!!!!!!

Lancheow!!!!!!

Ssibal!!!!!!!!

FUCKING BITCH!!!!!

Who the fuck does she think she is????!!!!

Machauhai!!!!!!!

First of all, don't think that if you can pay me a couple bucks and you think you can talk to me like "May I have your credentials" when you ASK for lessons from me for your daughter!!

Eh, jibai, you don't ask me like that OK??? Bitch???

What's more, you're saying like, "I need to know before I make my decision". Eh bitch, YOU'RE the one who first ask lessons from me! I didn't beg you to let me teach your daughter dammit!!!!

Now, after I told you that I already got my masters, you DO NOT ask me "MS in what?"

Bitch, are you retarded? Are you FUCKED in the head??? Huh????

I told you I am a professional musician who performs everywhere in New York, OF COURSE I got my masters in VIOLIN PERFORMANCE!! Do you need to go to school again bitch???

Holy shit!!!!

One more rude + stupid question from you, you idiot, I'm NOT gonna teach your daughter! Just who the FUCK do you think you are???

Motherfucker!!!

Yau ngat lik!!!

One of my favorite videos!!!

Steve Reich @ 70!!!!!!

Man, I can't believe I could get into that concert.

I got there at 7.30pm, there were sooooo many people outside of Carnegie Hall wanting to buy extra tickets. They all held up two fingers on the right hand or less.

So I raised my fore finger indicating that I need one, just to try my luck.

I thought there wasn't any hope.

There's a son of a bitch who came up and wanted to sell a ticket for a hundred, I mean, fuck him. The most expensive ticket is only 68! I should call a police.

But damn, there's this guy who came up and ask if I want a ticket, he would sell it for 20 dollars, that's even cheaper than the lowest price, 28 bucks! So I got the ticket and went in!

The first piece was Electric Counterpoint that Reich wrote for Pat Metheny. It's such a great piece, simple but down-to-earth. Pat performance was totally AWESOME. He didn't miss a single note or rhythm, and yet he was memorizing the music!! I was so thrilled by it! It sounded exactly like the recording.

Then Kronos came out and tore up Different Trains. I liked it a lot too.

After the intermission, the REAL DEAL was up!

Steve Reich and Musicians!!!!!!

They performed Music for 18 Musicians. That work was 60 minutes long but man, I tell ya, I didn't fell asleep AT ALL!! The whole piece was non-stop but SO INTENSE! You could see musicians switch roles from one instrument to another, sometimes you could even see 3 musicians playing ONE marimba!

Steve Reich was very low profile. He didn't stand out to bow especially. He only bowed together with all the other musicians. He didn't show people he was Steve Reich (except his cap, maybe), not until the musicians started to acknowledge him. He already gained my respect by doing this!

What I felt from the whole concert was the joy of music, the organic side of the music --- I know it's mathematical, but I could hear it's ALIVE! And it's not machine-like. The musicians had fun playing the stuff, I could tell, they were so relaxed when they played, especially the pianist that played the off beats for more than 10 minutes non-stop!

Watching cloud is what it's like to listen to minimalist music, watching cloud changing...

I feel like calling...

I dunno man... it's just weird...

I felt like calling people up today...

I just kept on calling anybody that I could think of and see if anybody wants to talk!

Of course, there weren't anybody answering, as usual.

For example, I called up Manda to try my luck but didn't make it. She was with her family. So I thought I should leave her alone.

Ken told me not to call him cuz he needed to sleep before party.

Jeremy just didn't pick up the phone, as usual.

Justin's not at home.

Michelle's having hard time cuz her grandma's in hospital.

I especially wanted to talk to somebody after I got the music from Dong and waited for the bus for twenty fuckin' minutes in the cold night wind!!

Luckily Heun Jeung gave me a call and we talked for a quite a bit! Otherwise, it would be my longest 20 minutes...

I dunno, sometimes I'd just go through all the possible phone numbers and tried to call someone and find someone to talk to.

Why?

This happens only once in a while.

Why?

Is it because I feel lonely?

...

Jimmy Heath's 80th!!!

It's really amazing to see a great musician who lived from the bebop era until now, a living witness of a country's musical evolution, sitting in the audience, enjoying his own orchestral work being performed on the stage, accompanied by his fellow musicians, Frank Wess among others.

Such a great experience!

The house was packed with his colleagues, friends, and family.

The orchestra was full of spirit playing his Three Ears for jazz quintet and orchestra.

Tony Hart and Mike Moss blowing their asses off on their horns. Especially Moss, man, his trumpet could tear down the whole music building!

Jimmy, a little giant --- very short, but when he starts blowing his horn, he was like a 7 feet tall. That's what he is. A very gentle and warm person with super-sharp ears.

Jimmy, hope you'll be with us all the time! Keep being healthy, and teach us all you know about music... and LIFE!

Today, October 17th...

...or should I say yesterday? It's 12.33am now.

Whatever.

Didn't do much today.

The biggest accomplishment I had was that I did my laundry at last!!!

My biggest UNaccomplishment today was I couldn't finish the stupid comics...

Should I plead for their mercy to not charge me late fees?

Going to play Jimmy Heath program tomorrow, I'm psyched!

Musical leadership/ Dong's Vid Rec/ Mark Feldman

These days I tend to write different things in one article, saves my time.

HJ's gig last night was good, wouldn't say fantastic, but decent for first timers.

Hey, at least they get so many audiences to come!

Trin's sound wasn't attracting me at all though. It's not her lines, just the sound.

This makes me rethink the importance of "sound", a word which Julian likes to repeat over and over again.

HJ has the sound, once she bows her cello, she's got that kinda intensity in her sound that Trin doesn't have. It's so distinctive!

But when Chris sat in, man, it was totally a different world! The band basically sounded like new once he stepped in.

Now, of course, Chris is much too experienced than them. But what I learned from him was the ability of his, guiding the band through high and low during his solo. Which means he was playing with the band, not playing karaoke like amateurs.

Sometimes we might tend to think that soloists should go free when doing solo, letting the rhythm section follow us. It's so untrue, no matter what it is, it's still chamber music playing! It's about ensemble and communication! When you have that and not living in your own world, you're leading the band --- then the audiences --- to another world.

x x x x x x x x x x x

I am grateful enough that Desmond called off the rehearsal today when I told him I have Dong's recording to do.

It was a video shooting session. We played excerpts from Appalachian Spring and Siegfried Idyll.

It sounded pretty good. Of course, players tonight were far better than the ones we had before in his other concerts.

At last I got to play Siegfried Idyll a little bit. I love that piece! :)

Too bad Manda wasn't playing...

x x x x x x x x x x x

My Mark Feldman CD came today, the title is "What Exit".

It's a good album, typical ECM sound, spacy and clean.

I like it. I am again amazed by Anders Jormin, the bassist who did his solo ECM album called "Xieyi" (写意). The reason was he showed another side of him that is opposed to Xieyi. He's more active in here, and he even showed that he could do some Indian fiddling on his bass!

Amazing.

I think Mark's compositions are awesome. A little Zorn-influenced, but very easy to listen to.

Great album Mark! I like it!

So drunk...

Chris!!! You da man!!! You inspire me EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN' TIME I see you play!!!

I don't wanna be another you, but I wanna be someone like you!!!

You inspire me even when you're talkin' to me, you know? Seriously man.

Heun Jeung, you a badass muthafucka!!

Keep it up!!!

Your lines are sicker than mine!!! I love it!!!

Keep on being yourself!!!!!!!

I just wanna curse

I dunno what else to do on Saturday but cussing my way till the next morning.

I just feel so undelighted and fucked up every Saturday.

Working from 9.30am till 6.30pm, teaching some VERY uninteresting students, getting peanuts in return!!

If I'd find a better job, I betchor ass that I will QUIT this motherfuckin' job!!!

I just feel like yelling at everybody I see; cursing at every single damn thing I encounter; and shouting like a mad man in the asylum!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Grudge 2 --- really? a horror flick?

Bad presentation

Bad script

Bad make-up

No logic (I know it's a movie, but at least some, OK? How could an old Japanese lady can suddenly speak fluent English?)

However good Christopher Young's music was, it didn't help a bit. Because the pacing of the movie and the editing already lost the grip, I don't think anyone can help!

Why does a movie like this can be rated PG-13??? The kid behind me was crying through some scenes... poor thing...

One more thing, is Takashi Shimizu going cuckoo? Where is his great directing in the Japanese version?

Social Security Card~~~

I woke up at 10.25 or something like that this morning. Damn! Should've woke up at 9.30am!

So I shaved my teeth and brushed my face... uh... I mean... brushed my teeth and shaved my face and went to the school with HP, ready for today's rehearsal.

Since we missed the time to do individual practice, we jumped right into learning the new section of Nilon together, which is page 4 and page 5.

We spent some time working out the time (of couse), and I spent a bit on learning my notes, they're some hard nuts to crack! Then we went back to the 1st three pages to further polish it --- if you can call that "polish"...

And then!! Mr Jordan Kuspa's piece, "Beneath the Magma" (which means hardcore...).

It's a far more practical piece cuz it's written by a cellist, he knows what works and what's not. We basically read through the whole piece on the spot, shouldn't be too much of a problem. But it's nice and energetic, should be a good piece to start the program.

Then we had a short lunch and I went to Jamaica!! I went to apply for my social security card.

I heard people inside the counters yelling and shouting at the applicants, ooh~~ scary~~ Luckily when it was my turn, it was a Chinese lady --- probably the only one --- who served me. When she was my name, she asked me if I was Chinese and we started to speak Cantonese. She was very nice to me. It took around 15 minutes to finish the whole process, and she asked me to wait for 2 weeks the most.

I can work legally SOON!!!!

What'd I do today?

1) Practiced Mikael's piece by myself
It's very hard ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I went through 3 pages and then...

2) Then I rehearsed that three pages with HP
You know, when playing his shit, we can't concentrate on what notes we're playing.
We spent our time only in figuring out the rhythm. It's very very complicated!

3) Went to Met to buy my orange juice and malt drink.

4) Watched Infernal Affairs II.
I always think this one is even better than the first one. Now that I watched it
again, I reconfirmed my thought. The script is very very well planned, full of
power that most HK movies don't have.

5) Went to transfer HP's Time Warner account to my name.
I also cancelled the TV account. It's 20 dollars less than what we paid for.
Exactly what I want!

6) White Castle
Yeah, I had my dinner in White Castle --- believe it or not, it's the first time.
Food is very good!

7) Ken's new work
Yes, at last, the zombie!! I saw it. Haha! It's very funny. Oi Ken! Put it online
lah!!!

Mikael's new piece and the lesson with Mdm Rhee

I came back from lunch with Manda after the QCO rehearsal (taught her some ancient Chinese homework), had a short nap, and started to practice Mikael's newly written piece for us that I got from yesterday (Oct 10th).

The piece is fuckin' hard, not that it's technically challenging or anything, it's just the counting. I tried to do quarter equals to 72, which is the original speed, but it's impossible. So I slowed it down to 60, didn't work either. So I started to play half time to figure them out.

It got better.

Well... I guess I have to spend a lot of time doing that and listen to the MIDI file...

After practicing for a short while, it was my time to meet up with Firepower to rehearse and take HER lesson with Mdm Rhee.

Mdm Rhee is a very strict teacher, she knows what she's saying and teaching, I have lots of respect towards her. She told me once that I should think more before I do something in the music and don't be like a mindless fiddler.

It really knocks me on the head hard and woke me up!

Yes, I had been pretty careless with such stuff... or rather, I didn't really get enough information about it before, about the stylistic stuff.

So I was wondering about this time. What would she say?

Strangely enough, she didn't say a word about my playing today. Yet, she asked Firepower to listen to how I play and follow what I do!

Wow...

So I bought myself a BIG Strawberry Milkshake in Coldstone later. hehe...

The Departed vs. Infernal Affairs

Saw "The Departed" last night. It's pretty well made. Except it's a little too long for my taste.

I guess the reason is because they tried to give every big star in the movie a chance to act. But this caused some inbalance in the movie.

I dunno if it's me taking sides or what, but I still like Infernal Affairs --- the Hong Kong flick that The Departed is based on. I like the way they present the story, the simplicity of a complicated storyline. It focuses on two men instead of letting everybody shine. But don't get me wrong, the actors in Infernal Affairs ALL had great chances to show their ability to act, because the script is very well written, small roles doesn't mean outplayed.

But I would say The Departed is still worth a watch. You can let me know what you think after you saw it!

The way to avoid rejection...?

Sometimes I'm really wondering if Wong Kar Wai's statement is merely a made-up dialogue, I think it might work well in real-life though:

"To avoid being rejected, one rejects others first."

I think this shit is deep.

And I think I sometimes have the tendency to think that way. But thinking and practicing are two different things.

Sometimes I really wish I could do that, and I think I would be happier and get myself less heart-break that way...

Anxiety, T bro, like I told you... anxiety is what I have now...

My Wonderful Mid-Autumn

Yes, it's Mid-Autumn, one of the biggest Chinese festives.

I had my recording with Smaldone this morning (I only slept 4 hours prior to that...), it was pretty good I would say.

Then I had lunch with Koli, we talked a bit, it was great, haven't been talking to him for a long time.

Then later went to Manhattan to meet up with Manda, she had her flute lesson with Siebert again. We went to 34th St together, she went to Macy's while I went to do some final rehearsing for the French Baroque concert.

The concert started late, because the seminar before it ended late.

I thought I played pretty well today, except some minor problems in La Mort de Didon. Why is it always Didon that has problems?!!

Manda loved it till she forgot to take pictures for me! :P Don't hit me...

Then we went to Chinatown to have Malaysian food in Mr. Lau's restaurant. It's cool, she liked it!

Then we went home to celebrate Mid-Autumn! Yay!

We had some mooncakes and sake, we talked a bunch, then we started to watch "Sepet", the Malaysian movie.

Too bad the VCD was pretty scratched up, it didn't work well. But yeah, still, we had a great time! She got to know my culture more.

Manda, it's been great hanging tonight, I had grrrrrrrrrrreat time!

Thank you so much! 谢谢你！

Can't sleep...

What the hell am I doing here?

Can't sleep... sigh...

I had a big headache just now, and after I slept it off, I couldn't continue sleeping anymore.

I hate this...

So I got up, switched on the computer, and started tidying up my room and my living room a bit, waiting for tomorrow to come... waiting for her to come... waiting for my Mid-Autumn Festival to come...

CV3

OK, Malaysians, I'm not doing a wrong spelling here, this is not about TV3 (it's outdated anyways... who still watch it? Please raise your hands...)

This is about CV --- Cuong Vu, 3 ---- Trio.

Yes, Cuong Vu Trio.

I found out about Cuong Vu Trio's performance 2 days before. I was planning to go to Michelle's show with the Big O Orchestra in Symphony Space, but Michelle told me to go to see CV instead because I should say hi to him and thank him for the kind and beautiful messages on MySpace that he gave us.

I was almost late to the show, and I saw Nick Ong standing near the door when I got in. Cuong was talking about his compositional process before his premiere of his two new pieces for FONT Music (Festival of New Trumpet Music). So before he really started to play, we rushed to the first table and sat down.

The music was fantastic, typical Cuong sound. A trumpet (CV), a six-string electric bass (Stomu Takeishi), and a drumset (Ted Poor).

He played two new compositions, and two old ones. They sounded fantastic, each has their own characteristics, but in the same time, the style is very unified, like I said, typical Cuong sound.

Cuong is a very still player, he doesn't move around, he stood there, lowered his head, staring at the music or his partners, but notes that came out of his horn, man, were somethin' else! Stomu was like a crazy caveman dancing around without shoes, a bright contrast from Cuong. Ted Poor was following tightly to Stomu, I thought they formed a super-tight rhythm section, they did EVERYTHING together, as if they reside in each other's heads.

Cuong likes to mix harmony and beautiful melodies (in its own rights) with noise. Now I don't mean white noise but noise that makes so much sense. The delay effects from Cuong and Stomu were almost over-whelming in the last piece but I LOVED IT! And I also really enjoyed it when the rhythm section was doing some quick pointilistic passages while Cuong's mellow and echoed trumpet sound was flowing over them like moving clouds or dancing Northern lights.

Almost at the end of the show, before the last piece, Cuong specially thanked some organizations and people, while I heard him saying, "Thanks to Dave Douglas for choosing me to play here..." And I saw people's eyesight focused on MY table, apparently not at me, so I looked back behind me (I was backing the table so that I could see the stage) and I found myself sitting right opposite to Dave Douglas on the same table. HOLY SHIT!

And when the lights were on, I looked around the crowd, and guess whom I saw?

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

PAT METHENY!!!!!!!

Cuong went up to talk to him (Cuong is his trumpeter in Pat Metheny Group). I went up to say hi to Cuong. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hi Cuong, I'm Chern Hwei from the Evil Twin.
CV: Hey! I LOVE your stuff!! I really like it!!
Me: Oh, thank you very much!
CV: I wish to see one of your gigs!
Me: Well, IF I get gigs. :)
CV: :D
Pat Metheny: :)

Cuong Vu, saying this in front of Pat Metheny!! It made my day!!

I-House Jam October 1st

Can't believe this shit, I slept at 7am and woke up at 11am looking dumb and shit, and 12 hours later I was in I-House with Heun Jeung and ready to play again.

Ain't that some funny shit? This is a crazy life I'm living!!

After I got all setup, I played Autumn Leaves with the house band, with Anna, our ex-QC student, on the bass. I thought something was funny in the background when I played. Was it me or was it the rhythm section playing some funny shit? I dunno. But I went through it, didn't feel so good though.

I didn't play for the rest of the night, not till the last song, "Nardis", which I had never played before. Surprisingly, the band switched on their funk mode!

So I played funk over Trane... I thought I pulled it off pretty well except I didn't know the changes that well. But I tried to be as singing as possible. And I think people dig it.

Jamming with Jeremy Kittel is pretty fun too, hope I can play more with him!

The jam session ended around 1:30am. Got back to Queens around, 3 something, crashed at 4...

Party at Bodek's

I finished performing with Ensemble 212 (as a violist) and rushed up to Spanish Harlem to attend Bodek's house warming party. That place is really scary. See all those random people that look like "homies" in the movies. When I walked pass them, one even said, "Hey Chink, I got somethin' fo' ya!" WTF...

Anyway, I got so fucked up in the party that I slept on the couch and totally missed the big jam session.

Why am I so fucked up?

I had two cups of red wine, 2 shots of vodka, and half a bottle of the big Beck's beer.

Some people might say I suck at drinking, but hello, I'm an Asian~~

I didn't realize until I got into the house that Jeremy Kittel, the famous jazz violinist that Heun Jeung always tell me about, is one of the roommates of Bodek! We jammed after I woke up (so I played anyway...) and it was so much fun.

I was thinking of crashing on Bodek's couch, but Heun Jeung needed me to accompany her home. So I crashed in her living room instead --- it was 7am then.

自从来了纽约过后，我就好久没有听到雨声了。
今天早上在Heun Jeung的客厅睡觉的时候听到外头突然噼里啪啦的一阵乱响，酒未醒的我朦胧中还以为是有人在外面放鞭炮。清脆的声响像大珠小珠落一盘，非常动听，觉得这声音还真熟悉而且也挺怀念。
到我醒了开门要离开那里的时候才发现原来外面悄悄的下了一场小雨。
空气中无比的清新爽朗，我的一天在11点钟才正式开始...