My bedz are gone~~~

I was still worried that I might not get to sell my beds and all of a sudden I sold all of them!!

Now I will have three nights sleeping without a bed. That would be quite an experience! I hope I'll do fine... :S

Oh and also, I got an e-mail from Greg Lyons, hiring me to play his March 2nd and 3rd gig in No Black Tie!!

Fuck yeah!!

What Does It Mean To Be A Musician?

I have a friend from Malaysia who told me that she's done studying piano in Germany and she has to go home because she has no more money to stay there to study more. She said she is sad that she has to leave all these behind to go home. She said the only thing she can do now is teaching piano back home and earn a living. She also said that she loves to practice and she loves to learn piano.

Here I have a BIG question mark after reading what she said: After all that studying, practising and learning, what are you going to do about it?

I mean, what is the point of keep on learning the instrument but without having the chance to stand by yourself and make the music of YOUR OWN?

It's obvious that learning and studying is a beautiful thing. But for me, as a musician, when you don't have other choices but to start working, this is the time you should utilize what you have learned and start making music.

Let's face it, we can't study forever. And the point we study music, is to hope that one day we can be independent from "What the teacher asks you to do" to "What YOU want to say". I guess for my friend, it's time for her to MAKE music instead of keep obeying what her teacher asks her to do.

Sometimes I can't really understand, if you don't have a desire to make a statement with your instrument, why bother to learn it? And also, what for to keep on learning it if you don't want to make your own statements? Does learning to perform not mean that you should desire to PERFORM?

I hope my friend can understand this one day. I didn't really talk much when she told me about it through the messenger because I knew that she would start arguing with me. Teaching is not the only thing you can do in your life after school. Performing ocassionally and make people understand what you think inside is a satisfaction and fulfillment only your heart can understand.

Go ahead and fly, my friend! It is time.

Talking to her again...??

I dunno why I buzzed her that day, and started to talk to her again.

Do I have to? I don't think so. But I did.

I felt happy talking to her anyway...

Shit, I'm nuts...

She's something that's impossible for me to pursue ----- I don't deserve her anyway.

Bah... I guess I just gotta be careful not to like her again...

南瓜咚咚响 (The Pumpkin Crisis)

Samseng J was a good friend of Teddy B, they treated each other like brothers. They play together, eat together, usually slept together too but since Teddy B got his wife, A&W, they stopped doing that.

A&W is a fat bitch with a big mouth and loud voice. One day she was in the pasar and met her good friend CB, she told her in a loud voice, "Aiya CB ah~~ You really dunno how embarrassing my husband was loh~~~!! HE FORGOT TO WEAR UNDERWEAR WAH!! Aiyo~~~ Forgot mah forgot nevermind, BUT MY KIDS SAW IT!!! AIYO~~~ I really malu until I dun dare to tell people err!~" So CB said, "But you're already telling me what." A&W said, "Tell you only mah~~!! Different!! I where got face to tell other people or????~~"

And for sure the whole pasar overheard her.

A&W liked to teach her 3 kids to sing, one day there was talent time show in their church, she went up to the stage and conducted the church kids' choir. Samseng J was in the same church with A&W and Teddy B, so he was there too. He was sitting in the front row next to this other guy while watching them sing. But Samseng couldn't stand seeing A&W's big ass swinging around while conducting, so he leaned over to the guy and said, "Eh you see you see her ass or not? Like pumpkin like that! WAHAHAHA!!! PUMPKIN AH!! HAHAHAHA!!!"

So I guess he was a bit too loud and A&W overheard him. She, of course, went to tell Teddy B about this.

Teddy B couldn't do anything but to speak up for his wife.

So Teddy called up Samseng J later that day and said, "J, how can you say that about my wife one?" Samseng J answered, "Eh it's true what! Her ass was like pumpkin like that mah!! Damn irritating you know???" "J, you broke my heart man. We're like brothers man, and brothers are supposed to share everything. You should be nice to my wife like she's your own." Samseng J almost threw up, "Fuck you lah!! You broke my heart also!! My wife so damn chun and you asking me to fuck your wife?!!" Then he slammed the phone.

So they didn't talk for a long time after that. But, of course, they didn't feel good. They were like brothers, they played together, eat together, even slept together....

*Knock knock*

Somebody was knocking on Teddy B's office door.

It was Samseng J.

He came in quietly, unlike his playful self. He sat down, and started to talk, "B, I just want to say I'm sorry and I hope you accept my apology for being rude that day..."

Teddy B waved his hand and said, "Man, you don't need to say anything, I was already to accept your apology, I even thought of apologise to you myself... because after all... WHAT YOU SAID WAS TRUE WHAT!"

OK...so Teddy B thought his wife's ass WAS like pumpkin!

Then all of a sudden A&W came in to his office and said, "What the hell is this guy doing here?!"

Teddy B was furious about her rudeness and spat, "This is men's business and it has nothing to do with you! Get outta here!!" A&W was ready to leave when Samseng J said nervously, "But I have one request! Please don't turn your back at me when you wanna go out, just back off like this...facing us..."

"WHY CANNOT LAH?!!" she angrily turned her back to them and went out.

Without second thoughts, Teddy B and Samseng J both bursted out laughing, "PUMPKIN AHHH!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So they became good friends again...

IAJE Annual Convention, 2007, NYC

Guess it's time to move on from mourning Mr. Brecker.

Let me talk a little bit about this great event that I took part in last week.

The International Association for Jazz Education's annual convention 2007 was held in Sheraton New York and Hilton New York, between January 10th and 13th.

Day 1, Jan 10th, Wednesday, I went over to Sheraton and thought that I could register there. Once I got in, I saw the lobby full of people --- with instruments in their hands. I was soooo excited, and touched. I've never seen so many musicians in my life. I felt like I got home or something.

Guess that was my only impression in the first day, nothing much happening anyway.

Oh yeah, I saw Peter Erskine though. Also, I met Dan Carlin, the formal associate director of Henry Mancini Institute ----- HMI is closed down, as some of you may know.

Oh and also I went to the Winter Jazz Festival in Knitting Factory, and had an overdose of music that night. I think I started to fall sick after that. But I met the sax player Rudresh Mahanthappa, playing with Craig Taborn on piano, Francois Moutin on bass, Tyshawn Sorey on drums. Wow, he was totally awesome!! And he was a nice too. I also watched Gut Bucket, a jazz hardcore band, which impressed me so much when they played one movement from Messiaen's Quartet for the End of Time ALL BY MEMORY.

Day 2, January 11th, Thursday. I couldn't wake up to listen to Rez Abbasi's talk on Indian Classical music concept used in jazz... I hate myself... But I realized I need to sleep. Anyway, I went into Hilton at around 3.30pm, catching the trumpeter Avishai Cohen's show at the lobby. Wow, that cat was something. The show was too packed I had to stand behind the band, but it was awesome. The power of the music didn't decrease just because I couldn't face them directly.

Then I've seen some other shit too, like the jam session at the lobby, there was this violinist that I didn't really know what the fuck she was doing over Cantaloupe Island, but oh well, maybe she didn't know them changes so well. Cantaloupe Island. Wow.

And at that jam session, I found Michelle and she introduced his ex-drummer, Martin Valeras, who's Hiromi's drummer now, to me. He's a very humble and nice guy, we even took a picture. Also, I met Joel Holmes, Ken's MySpace friend, he said "Ni Hao" to me. Very nice and laid back guy, cool cat. Also I went up to talk to the drummer John Lamkin III whom I knew on MySpace, who had played with Kenny Garrett before. Then Michelle introduced Sarah Bernstein who used to study jazz violin in Queens College to me.

I had no memories of anything else after that, until we went in to the Grand Ballroom to look at "The Latin Side of Miles Davis". It was a good band, but the arrangement didn't really hit me much. Then during the Randy Brecker and Bill Evans' Soulbop, I couldn't resist the temptation of the milkshake I had in Island Burger and Shake the night before, so I went out, praying that it's still open. Of course they were closed, and so I went up a little bit in the same shop row and found Renaissance Restaurant which is also famous for its milkshake. I took out two chocolate milkshake and a fries cuz Michelle said she's hungry.

Then when I got back, Soulbop's already done playing their gig. Michelle was helping Ada Rovatti, saxophonist and Randy's wife, to sell Soulbop CDs, while Randy and Bill and them other band members were signing the CDs. I went up to Randy and Bill to introduce myself and told them that I was in their workshop in Malaysia before. Bill was extremely cool and approachable! We talked a little bit until he was ready to go.

Then we watched the closing act ---- John Hollenbeck's Large Ensemble.

Man that shit fucked me up. I was so moved by it. Same kinda feeling when I first watched Hollenbeck doing Joys and Desires with Jazz Big Band Graz in Tonic last year during IAJE. Damn. It was some powerful shit man.

Day 3, January 12th, Friday. This could be my shortest day in IAJE Convention because I had to make up the lessons that I would miss on Saturday and I also felt so terrible catching that cold. I didn't show up until about like 9pm. I didn't think I saw any shows that night. I just hung around a bit, watched some high school and junior high kids doing their rehearsals in some of the ballrooms. Them kids were promising, I'm sure they will be something very soon, in just a few years. Then I called up Tyler and we went for a drink between 58th and 59th, 7th ave. Then I went to Nick Ong's house and crashed, ready for the next day's string reading session.

Day 4, January 13th, Saturday. Last day baby.

I was nearly late to the reading session because of the stupid subway re-route. But anyway, I filled up the first stand second chair of second violin because Jeremy Kittel couldn't be there on time. The session was fucking long, 2 hours, but still we couldn't finish reading all them music ---- some of them pretty cool, some of them extremely bad. I got to play two solos, but all extremely short and with repetitive chords. So the conductor asked me later, "So I bet you're still learning huh?" Uh....yes....? (Who isn't still learning anyway?)

Anyway, I got out after 11am and went out and bumped into Etienne Charles (I bumped into this motherfucker every-fucking-where in the convention! It's hilarious!), talked to him for a bit, and he introduced me to this beautiful black DJ who works for XM. We chatted a little, and I saw Antonio Hart walking by, he saw me too, pointed his finger at me, so I pointed back at him as a "hello". Then I headed to the exhibition for a while, which was my first time. Met John Clayton there, talked to him about how nice his piece for HMI was, and how sad that HMI is closed down. Met Marco there too, our fat cat still looks the same, and I was a little surprised to know that he quitted Eldar's band, which is understandable because he needs time for himself.

After that I went into Tanya Kalmanovitch, Rob Thomas, Matt Glaser and Renata Bratt's talk about college jazz education for string players. Because I went in half way, I couldn't really catch everything they said, but seems like what Tanya did to the NEC kids is pretty interesting. In the end of the session, I finally met Meg Okura, the beautiful Japanese jazz violinist who's married to an American sax player and now resides in NYC. Very very happy to meet her because we've been MySpacing for a while! We exchanged cards. (Oh yeah, I passed out my cards like crazy that day, that I literally finished every single one I had with me!)

Then whom I met? PETROS MENDONIS!!! I haven't met that motherfucker for a whole fucking year!!! We hugged like old brothers for so long. We went to see the exhibition for a loooooong time, and then we went in to Sheraton to see Anita Brown's Big Band, which was pretty beautiful. Then we had lunch in a pizza place and went back to see John Fedchok's Big Band, that music didn't really speak to me much, no offence to John, but it's just my personal taste. When Michelle called me up, I took the liberty to walk out and went to Hilton to see what's going on in there. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, before John's show opened, the president of IAJE went up the stage to announce Michael Brecker's death with his trembling voice. I think that shit really fucked many people up, we all gave him a minute of silence.

Apparently, the pro jam session was burning hot in there. I saw a lot of lady jazziz were burning up there, I also saw a kid playing on the B-3. So I told myself "Why not?". So by the next tune, which was the last tune, Blue Monk, I jumped right in there, as that was my last chance to expose myself a little bit in IAJE. It was fun, I thought I played alright, not surprisingly well, but alright for a violinist (how irresponsible to say that!!). Some people dug it, some didn't --- I could tell from the applause. It's OK, it's a learning process for me. At least I overcame my inner devil to restrain me from playing in front of all the pros.

Then I didn't know what I was doing... I guess I walked around a bit again and got very tired of the cold, so I sat down in the Hilton lobby, with Meg chatting with her friends and her husband a little further away from me, they didn't look so happy, I guess they were talking about Michael Brecker's passing. Oh well... I didn't feel that good either... I could understand how they feel, especially they know him personally...

Then I saw Jon Hendricks walking by, looking sharp as a tack in his tuxedo and bow tie. I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me and said, "How you doin' man?"

Then the vocalist whom I jammed with a while ago, Aronda Way, came over to talk to me, telling me how impressed she was with my playing. She's really friendly, so we exchanged cards.

After that I saw Stefon Harris walking by doing nothing. So I stood up and said hi to him, telling him how I loved his shit with the Classical Jazz Quartet (Kenny Barron, piano; Ron Carter, bass; Lewis Nash, drums; Stefon Harris, vibes). He was so damn humble, saying that it's the greatness of the other three cats that made the album great, he was just noodlin' around. Man, Stefon Harris noodlin' around?! So I told him, "Man, your playing was as great as them! I really enjoyed it!" So he thanked me and we bid farewell.

Then T came to the lobby and we went to see John Hollenbeck's Claudia Quintet in Cornelia Street Cafe, leaving Didier Lockwood behind. Michelle said Lockwood made her cry. Damn, did I miss something? I'm still in the process of digesting Claudia Quintet's sound... I wish I could clone myself to see both. Verdamnt!!!

We got back to Hilton and had a quick dinner, went up to see Charlie Haden's Liberation Orchestra before getting ready to watch the last show of the night: Avishai Cohen Trio. This Avishai Cohen is a bassist, not the other Avishai Cohen I've seen before. T didn't really dig what he heard in the Haden band I guess, so he left the ballroom first. I thought there were some interesting shit going on in the music though, such as the arrangement of Amazing Grace, I thought it was pretty nice. Haden's playing didn't really speak up to me though.

After Haden's show, I went over to where T was --- Charles Tolliver Big Band. Man, I regretted that I didn't show up earlier, that band fuckin' burned man!! I saw a big reason for it ---- Victor Lewis was doing his thing in there. Damn, he's definitely one of my favourite drummers!!

Then Avishai Cohen Trio came up. The band was real fuckin' tight. Dammit!!! They blew me away!!! They could do so many crazy rhythmic things just by vamping!!! Well I guess they couldn't do so if they weren't vamping.

In a way, I'm glad that IAJE Convention is over. I was very tired and needed so much rest after all the musical madness within that four days. Too many things, too little time... But I had a great experience. I would go back again if I had the chance!

A minute for Michael

Hi Michael, if you can hear me.

I know that you do not know me, but I know you, I know your sound. I guess that is better than knowing you personally.

The first time I got to know you was when I popped in the CD "Directions in Music" that you did with Herbie and John.

I didn't remember the other tracks so well, other than that one track that would change my ears forever ----- "Naima".

Solitude, warmth, darkness, brightness, peace, fiery...

They were all presented by you, single-handedly, without anybody behind or beside you.

And I guess for that reason, I am pretty sure you will be fine walking this journey to another world all by yourself. Do not look back, though, because you do not want to see all the sad faces and tears-filled eyes that you left behind.

You brought peacefulness to our souls with your music, and now it is time for you to move on and find your eternal peace.

Rest in peace.


*Tenor saxophone great, Michael Brecker, died of leukemia on Saturday, January 13th, 2007. Leaving us nothing but a new unreleased album, and many other immortal recordings that he made.

Some curse words for my life

Fuck

Fuckity

Fuck Fuck Fuck

The saddistic truth...

Went up to Friendster, found out something that gave me a little shock.

I thought I was OK.

But then I start to feel bad now...

Why does it always happen to me?

Fuck.

I give up.

There's no hope.

Nu Blu Lounge

Cool place...

I hung out with Akim and Yuki there just now, it's totally cool!

Nice vibe, cool music...

Check it out, it's on the Lower East Side, Avenue C, between 4th and 5th Street.

Kjell

Kjell arrived on January 1st, 2007, to pick up his new violin by Zygmundovitch.

Apparently he couldn't wait to show me that instrument because it's so good, so I met him up on the 2nd after watching "Rent" with Betty Wu and her friend, that was around like 11pm when I arrive.

I tried the violin for 5 minutes, it sounded great! Then went out to have something to eat and drink.

He's still as concern about my career and playing as ever, never changed a bit, only much warmer now than before. I thought I changed a lot though. I wasn't so afraid to tell him what I think anymore, I think now I'm a much more confident person than before.

I was absolutely surprised that Ulrike is pregnant!!

That means my polar bear teacher is going to be a Daddy Bear!!!!

Then we met again today, the 3rd. We went to Dizzy's to watch Bobby Watson, the band was amazing! And we stayed back for the late night set too. Met Etienne, by the way.

After that we went to the same place to have food, we planned to meet again tomorrow for lunch, he will be leaving at 7 something in the evening, from Newark.