I've been to Union Hall to watch my friend Max's gig before. It was kinda noisy in there, so when I needed to make a phone call, I went out of the joint to do it. While calling in front of Union Hall, the big black fuckin' bouncer came over and asked me to go call somewhere else. I was kinda surprised, so I asked him what's wrong. He said I can't make a phone call in front of the building.
I was like "WTF?!" so I said, "Why not?" He gave me the most ridiculous answer, "There are people living across the street."
Motherfucker! Do I talk that loud to wake people up?! Plus, hey, it's Union Hall, everybody goes there for gigs, do you think that place will be any quiet? God's sake man, even the cars on the streets are noisier than a talking voice!
I went to Union Hall again just now, trying to catch my friend Charlie's CD release party. Fuckin' bouncer asked for ID from me. So I showed him my old work authorization card with my photo and birth date on it. Note that this card got me into any bars and clubs in New York.
The bouncer pointed his torch light to my card, I pointed out the birth date for him. He said, "No, I'm looking at this," pointing at the expiry dead. "It's expired, can't let you in."
I was like, "WTF?!!!"
My friend Anthony said he forgot his ID, but told him that he is 36 years old, which he really looks, the fuckin' bouncer didn't buy it either. He said, "Strict rules guys, no ID, expired ID, cannot get in!"
Expired ID cannot get in?! It's not a fake ID though! Expired ID doesn't mean that the birth date on the card is expired, does it?!
Holy shit, I turned and left the fucking place.
Whatever event in the future I don't care man, but I definitely WON'T go back to that shithole!
Remember guys: Don't go to Union Hall!!!
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4 comments:
So basically, you acted like an ass my being loud in FRONT of the bar, annoying the neighbors, then you tried to get into a bar with an EXPIRED ID? And somehow Union Hall are to blame?
Right, good luck, pal. My guess is they won't mind if you don't come back.
anon:
No...
The bouncer was being a dickhead, for sure!
The place was already loud, what the fuck does he mean that my friend was being too loud?? You mean when you talk on the phone, you're louder than the already loud music coming out of the bar? Like.. hello?
And when you look at an ID, what the heck do you look for?? Birth date or what? I thought that you always look at the birthdate to check if you're underage. What does that have to do with the expiry date of the work ID?
THat's bullshit, man...
Easy for you to say. When you face that same situation, we'll see whose story you'll be talkin' about.
I've known lots of bouncers, and the way they tell it it's pretty simple for them. There are laws, and they keep to them. If they don't, they lose their job (which is essentially to ensure the venue doesn't get fined or lose their license).
1: Valid ID means just that. Expired ID cards aren't considered valid by the lawmakers, so there's nothing the bouncer can do.
2: It's an offence to make undue noise out the front of a venue, which includes talking too loudly on a cell phone.
By the way, you gotta be careful with the language you use to describe people. I'm not going to spell it out for you, but think about it. . .
Now who said I was talking loudly on the phone? Are you the dickhead bouncer himself? You ass!
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