hm...

Sometimes I wonder, if I were to have someone in my life, what would it be like?

Does she have to be a musician?

Let's say if she is a musician and is also a much badder motherfucker? How would I respond to it?

I always thought that I would be ashamed of myself for not being compatible to her, until Pete gave me a good slap in the face today.

He said, "Dude, this ain't fuckin' 15th century! Who gives a shit if your girl is badder than u? If she is, you should be proud of her. See?"

Wise words from Pete, but it is indeed very simple. I know this logic deep inside, but maybe I forgot to apply it to myself.

Then some shit that I told the UPM kids popped into my mind.

I told them, "You are what you are and nobody will snatch it away from you. There's always some quality that you have, people don't have. So when you see people better than you, you don't have to be afraid or lose your self esteem, because they might be jealous of your quality that they could never have --- while you don't even realize!"

I said this shit. And now I forgot about it! Ha!

The Man up there created us differently, but I believe that different people has different functions (or "purpose" like some religious people would call it) in this world. If we don't think that we are useless and start fully utilizing our very unique quality, we will serve that function. Thus nobody's ability and talent should be over-praised nor to be looked down at.

I was rehearsing in One World Symphony today, playing Shostakovich's Symphony No.10, had some fun, though it was still a little sloppy in some parts. As I was playing, I felt such rush and contentment inside that I was sort of inspired.

It wasn't the first time I had that feeling while playing, but this time it opens my thoughts up, and made me understood that why my concern was pure nonsense, as well as why Pete called me a "cock" when I told him about it.

Cuz I guess when you reach that state of mind while playing, you wouldn't even worry if your other half is Janine Jensen or Julia Fischer!