"The Zorn Thing" Expansion Pack

I admit that I was pretty out there last night when I was writin the blog, having played the whole night and had some drinks. Plus I was really sleepy.

So here's some "Extra Features".

I met Okkyung after the set and she recognized me right away. She asked me about my visa thing, gave me some good advice, really appreciate it. I told her that their playing ws amazing, and she said, "Thank you. Well, maybe you'd had enough of this shit." Haha! I said, "Well it's different every time, so I don't think I will ever have enough of it!"

Then I saw John Zorn standing behind the glass door, so I asked Okkyung if it's OK to talk to Zorn because I needed to pass my CD to him. Okkyung told me it should be OK, so she told the doorman to let me in, they didn't hesitate.

I went up to Zorn and introduced myself and told him that I'm an admirer of his music, and I wrote a piece for violin and viola, it's inspired by him and recently performed....he just cut in and say, "You want me to listen to it? Sure!" He took the CD from me.

SO COOL!

ZORN!!! Bitch it's ZORN!!!!!!!

The Zorn Thing

I reached the Stone at 7.55pm, the line was really long, I didn't expect that, and I was thinking to myself, "Yeah better prepare for the worst, motherfucker, this tiny place will be packed in no time."

And it did.

I thought this is the end of me, I came all the way from Queens just to see John Zorn in action and this will be my second time going home disappointed.

No wait!

The guy came out and started to tell us, "A couple more minutes."

Zorn started shredding on center stage with these other guys, we could hear him faintly from outside. Wasn't loud but at least something for our thirst.

After the fire department cat went away for a while, they started to let us in. I was one of the lucky chinks who could get in and listen to my heroes!!

Once I got in, Mark Feldman, Sylvie Courvoisier (Mrs Feldman), and Okkyung Lee, started to do some crazy improv.

You see, if you don't listen to them carefully, you would complain that they're making noise. But those ain't merely noise if you observe and listen closely, they actually were interacting with each other ---- unison, juxtaposing, doubling, harmonizing, etc.

After that Zorn came out with a bass clarinetist and soprano player, playing this awesome wind trio. Dude, lemme tell u, that shit was like pre-composed, they were locking up so well you can't hear no flaw in them!! Too bad I am not able to know all of their names...

Also in the show was Mark playing with trombonist Jim Staley, Sylvie shredding with electric guitarist John King and clarinetist, also a grand finale with all them motherfuckers.

They made noise, but they interact, they clash into each other like thunder and lightning, they flow into each other like streams.

Noise with sense ---- it's the "Zorn thing".

Second Rehearsal with PTS

Yessss.............

This band is happenin'...

Good vibe, good sound, good ensemble...

It's gonna rock...

We'll see what happens when we record our demo tomorrow!!

My life after Christmas

So my Christmas sucked, I know.

But Chen Han arrived the next day with his gf Annie and two other people --- one of them being my Facebook friend that I recently added, I-Chia. I-Chia is a very nice girl, very cool too. She's a violist. We had some food together, sang karaoke and had some fun talking about violin-playing ----- I think he and Mune are the only two motherfuckers that like to talk about violin-playing with me. I mean, I don't talk about violin playing so much myself, so it's good to hear what others have to say and think, and see how they do it.

This morning we went to Martin's place, Chen Han wanted to rehair his bow and Mune's too. Martin adopted a very cute little dog last Friday, it has a funny name, "Basta". HAHA! But it's a really really nice dog, very quiet and tamed. But once Chen Han started playing the violin, he barked! When I-Chia and I were playing, he was quiet. Very funny phenomenon, but dunno why.

I brought them to 5th Avenue to take pictures, they took a lot of pictures, and was quite psyched about the decorated streets. We came back exhausted.

It was fun, I hope they will come again!

By the way, I didn't contact Jing Wen at all today. I dunno what's going on with her and her friends, hope everything goes well with them and wish they are having fun. I'm glad that they managed to move to another place. Too bad I couldn't hang with them, but oh well, I have my friends here, they're cool too. Those people hardly know me, including Jing Wen herself, so nevermind, they don't have to hang with me if they don't want to. Just trying to help them as much as I could because we came from the same country.

Quote of the Day

"He influenced me, and I influenced him, and that's the way great music is always made. Everybody showing everybody else something and then moving on from there."

----- Miles Davis

Dark Christmas

In less than one hour, the depressing day will be over.

Christmas.

It's not white.

It's dark for me.

I didn't do anything all day, except having lunch with Paul Way and Hoi before they leave.

I got back home and started my PS2 shredding, and half asleep while watching National Geographic Channel.

I tried to call a bunch of people, including Nick and Ken, but nobody answered.

I didn't even eat dinner properly.

And now I'm sitting here waiting for 12am to come.

That's my Dec 25th, 2006.

Pretty simple right?

p/s: James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, passed away on the Christmas morning. Please give a minute of silence to commemorate him and his music.

Jing Wen in town

Yeah so my Friendster friend Jing Wen is in town at last!

She looks as pretty as her photos on Friendster, Eddie is a lucky bastard, haha!

I took her and all her friends to Sentosa to have dinner, they were a cool bunch (OF COURSE! MALAYSIANS MAH!! except Taku the Japanese, but he's cool too).

It's good to see so many Malaysians all at once in America, I never had that experience till now!

So the next few days, I will be bringing Jing Wen to hunt for some dance classes around town, I hope she gets some, and I hope she doesn't get scared and not going in.

After all, it's just a class, what's there to be afraid of?

Corcoran Holt's Graduation Recital

I managed to get out of Smaldone's recording session earlier than planned, so I went next door to listen to my bro Corcoran Holt's final recital.

Corcoran's a bassist who has been a killer since I first saw him play.

Today he brought together a band of killers like himself to burn up the remaining of his graduate school days. Unfortunately I couldn't remember any of these cats' names, they sure were a whole group of motherfuckers.

I went in at one thirty pm, which is around 1/3 of the recital, Corcoran was doing a duet with the drummer. Man, were they tight! I was totally blown away by the drummer, whose command on the instrument was just totally phenomenal!

This guy burns in whatever situation, whether when he was playin' loud or soft. His pattern was varied and inconsistant but you never felt anything was off his hands. He puts fire under everybody's ass and kept burning them until they all ran like motherfuckers. I have total respect for his playing.

Now a killin' drummer can't make it without a good pianist and bassist, like I said, Corcoran's motherfucker on the bass, and the pianist too, was great in complementing the soloists. The whole rhythm section locked up so tight together that they almost shared the same brains.

The saxophonist was a great player, oh man, his playin' was just beautiful and in the same time fiery!!! RJ the trombonist is more of a cooler and lyrical type of player, and he's a motherfucker too.

The most memorable number they played was "Ele Efe" by Christian McBride, I almost teared when I heard it. The sound was so supreme it would lift you up to another level of the heaven!

I felt I learned something in this concert. I learned that "love" is an important thing in a band.

Don't look at me like I'm nuts, because when you have love between one another, you want to support your bandmates while you play together, when they're down, you lift them up and encourage them by burning it underneath. That's how it should be, I believe.

Love is the key.

Project Taming Sari

We had a first rehearsal today, I felt good about it and am pretty excited about what we can become in the future.

The line-up:

Michelle Marie Nestor, guitar
Fung Chern Hwei, violin
Brandon Silaco, percussions

This is a project that Michelle and I put together, trying to find a new kind of sound. Sort of ECM, spacey, clean, light, but not lacking of power. Original idea was to include my bro Jeremy Harman on the cello, but that guy has been missing in action for a long time, since we can't wait anymore, we started to rehearse.

The group sounded good. The sound started to gel up and started to show some promising potential within an hour of playing!

We played my tune "Riders on the Lost Track" today, doing the head over and over again. I taught them about the Malay joget rhythm. They were a little stiff in the beginning, but after a while, it started to blend, and we came out with our way of playing that rhythm!

I can't wait for next week! I can almost be sure that good things will happen to this group!

*thanks Brandon, for your full determination and seriousness!

Harry Winston on Red Carpet

I woke up at 9am on Sunday, got out from the house at 9.30am, jumped on a Q65A and took E train to Forest Hills, transferred to D train on 7 Av, it was an express, I got to West Harlem in no time.

That place was pretty crazy ---- it's quiet, that's why it's crazy.

Homies hanging around the roadside, doin' nothing, sitting on a chair brought out from their houses, smokin', looking at the passersby.

I didn't pay no much attention to these people, as I sort of knew that a black neighborhood are like that, and that I should feel lucky that I was in West Harlem, not East.

Whatever it was, I got out at 145th St station, and went to Crown Fried Chicken as I saw it, and bought two pieces of them. I always have a feeling telling me that black people's fried chicken are the BEST!!

Then I went up for blocks and a couple blocks West to knock on Mikael's door.

I had my "brunch" at his kitchen and started to work.

At first, we thought we would wanna use my pickup plugged into Mikael's terminal and at the same time picking up the room ambience with his song mic.

But after a few tries, Mikael decided to use only his mic. Which is actually something that I also prefer, becuase when you clip a pickup onto the violin bridge, the sound of the instrument will be affected and became like muted.

I chose to play and record Mikael's written part for a few times, he's got some beautiful lines there, simple but cool. Then after a short coffee break, he started to ask me to improvise.

He took many takes, I improvised in classical style, jazz, even some rock elements in there, then Chinese glissando style and Malay style traditional fiddling. Each take has each of these different things inside, so that Mikael could do some sound collage out of it.

Seriously, I couldn't care less how he edits my music, as long as it sounds natural, I really wouldn't mind throwing the textbook gospels away. It's all about taste, I think. If Mikael did it with high taste (which I'm sure he would), I don't think I would have a problem with it at all.

Sometimes I think I'm just not fussy enough like other musicians, anything might sound good to me. I hate to make decisions like that, determine which one to use in the recording. There might be a big chance of me saying "yes, that could do it" to 10 choices it has.

Anyway, I can't wait for Mikael to get done with the editing, because I wanna see how it turns out to be like.

p/s: Battlefield, I am waiting...

One-week off time needed!!!!!

Just when can I stop playing my violin for a whole fucking week????

I need my thumb to recover!!! It's painful!!!

Life is hard, if you don't work, you don't earn. But what about my thumb??? I need to cure it!!!

It bugs me a lot especially when I tune my violin, holy shit, I don't even wanna think about it...

I'm recording for Harry Winston's website tomorrow, it's Mika's composition, and I will be playing the violin section part and some of my own improvisations over the beautiful 4-bar changes. We'll see how it goes, hope I can hear it one day on the 5th Ave.

Woke up at 5am...

Isn't this crazy?

I got drunk last night and crashed a little too early, now I'm up at 5am... Duh...

I wanna go back to sleep now.

I hope the woman won't come to check my blog anymore.

YOU'RE NOT WELCOME!!!

Bossa Jam!!

I finished my Phil Orch of Americas rehearsal early today, so I went to see Apocalypto on Times Square 42nd St, then I watched half of the newest James Bond. After i came out, I went over to BB King's and check out what's going on in there. I was wondering if my friend Kerry Linder would sing in there tonight, then, to amazement, there was this beautiful poster that said "Now Appearing", and "Kerry Linder", and most important of all, "Free"!!

So I went straight in, she was already singing, I ordered a cappuccino and started enjoying the sick shit that lady flutist/saxophonist was playing. Man, her shit was so bad!! I LOVE her feel and her beautiful lines. Then, came the most beautiful sight. Four japanese chicks came right in and sat on the table opposite mine! One of them looked almost like Zhang Ziyi, only better!!

Damn, a night of great bossa nova and a beautiful lady to behold, what else do you want? Right? Then, Kerry wanted me to play with her, since I had my violin with me.

So I went up and played a couple songs that I never played before. That shit was fun and scary! But people liked it, Kerry was really happy. And I saw the Japanese chick clapping after my first solo...ooh~~

I also met Hitomi whom I played with in Akim's gig, surprisingly, her boyfriend, Ian McDonald, is Kerry's guitarist! Wow! What a small world!!!

I was really happy tonight!

The only thing that let me down was me losing the chance to the japanese chick... she was gone when Hitomi was talking to me about her musical goal... :'(

I wish I could see her again in BB King's some time in the future...

A Constant Lone Walk To Nothingness

Always longing, looking, wandering, and wondering
In the dark
I'm a lone-walker
Who never finds peace
Who never succeed in grabbing anything

Still
I'm constantly carrying on my momentum
Step by step
Bit by bit
Into...
Nothingness...

Dope dealer...

So I was waiting for my friend Ma Jie in Washington Square Park.

This black guy stood in a distance, looking at me in a fishy way for a long time, and then he finally said in almost a whisper, "Hey..hey.. how u doin'? You want some weed?"

That shit cracked me up! Haha!

Do I look like a pot head?

So it's over...

Didn't wanna say shit about it, nothing much to say anyway. What I can say is I didn't play it so well.

But what happened after was more to tell.

Lots of people came to the lounge and greet us, of course my sis was there, my buddies like Ed, Rachel, A-chan... they were all there. Of course, not to mention the fuckin' white boy.

Oh! Prof. Pershing and Leo Kraft was there too! As usual, Prof P gave me that BIG HUG and BIG KISS ON MY FACE! She's always so nice to us both, like a grandma to her grandchildren. Then Prof Kraft gave me that big handshake and told me that he "really like" my piece! Ain't that a bitch? Leo Kraft saying that he really likes my piece?!! That shit made my day man!

Anyway, we took so many photos that I lost count. Fuckin' white boy came up to me and gave me a fuckin' name card, tellin' me to call that name on the card to see if I can get some gigs and shit. I mean, fuck that, I don't need him to be nice and shit, he already had me suffer more than I need to, and now he wants to pretend he is an angel or some shit? Fuck him! I didn't even wanna look at him and took the card.

But anyway, later, sis, Tian and Jordan (both are composers in the program), Nicholas, Eugene, all went to have dinner in Grand Sichuan down on 50th St. and 9th. Later, Heun Jeung came to join us. Was a good dinner.

Later me, sis, Nick, Eugene and Heun Jeung all went to Rockerfeller Center to look at the iceskating ring and the big Christmas tree. For some reason, Heun Jeung bought my sister a box of chocolates in the NBC candy store, that's very nice of her.

Then Eugene started to tell us how tired he was, so we decided to go home...

That was quite a night.

The other memorable thing on that night was when my sis brought a bouquet up to the stage to me. She hugged me for the first time in my life (excluding when I was a baby). She looked at me in the eye, I suddenly fet the love we have for each other, though we never say it out, it's there, always there. Especially at this moment of hard time for her, I show a lot of support to her. Then she hugged me once again. There goes the second time...

The Moon outside.....and me inside.....

I looked at my window and saw the big moon outside.

It isn't full, but it's bright and beautiful.

It's been a rainy and windy day, at one point I was soaked with water.

But now I'm sitting here in my room, listening to John Zorn's sometimes-chaotic Masada.

What a calm and mysterious view outside; in oppose to the music I'm listening to!

But what exactly am I thinking, I have no idea... People asked me if I'm excited about the concert tomorrow, I told them a straight answer: I'm calm like dead water.

Am I crazy??

It's tomorrow...

So the "big" day is tomorrow. At least that's what a lot of people told me.

I dunno what's so big about it. It's just a hall. Not many people can play there, that's true, but I'm not referring to your musical ability, I'm just talking about one's financial ability.

This bloody place wants money for the slightest things, and they charge you very HIGH!

Just imagine, an audio recording for 400 bucks? A video recording would cost you 1760! What the hell?

Seriously, I'm not really as excited as HP.

I mean, it's just a recital. I go up the stage, I do my shit, I walk off. That's it.

If you realize this is just a physical movement that you do all the time, the venue is not important anymore. What counts is the music. The MUSIC is the thing that really matters.

Great hall? Fuck it. I would even play in an alley if I feel good about it.

Foolish indeed

When some shit already belongs to somebody else, why bother to try to get it?

If you do, you're the biggest motherfuckin' idiot on the planet.

Which I think I am.

Heart-to-heart

Talking to my sister heart-to-heart was never something that I would have expected.

But last night, after I had two beers in 55 Bar, and I started to talk my heart out on the train.

This is the first time in many years that I feel so close to my own sister, heart-to-heart...

Only then I knew, the love has always been there, only that I never knew about it...

Sis, I hope you'll be happy in your life, and I always support you from behind!

Watch out!! Sis's in town!!

Yes... she arrived... this afternoon 1pm...

Landed in LGA, NYC...

Yup...

OK lah, I will stop pretend, yes! I'm very happy to see her here! I hope she will have a wonderful stay!

Yup, Akim.

So there I was, in that big and beautiful environment of BAMcafe, performing with 10 other great artists and musicians ----- IT'S AKIM FUNK BUDDHA'S HIP-HOP HOLIDAY!!

I got there around 7pm with Heun Jeung, only Pete the beatboxer was there.

We talked a bit, and Teebirt came in, she plays the suling (Balinese flute) and sings too. She said she used to play the classical flute, but now she's playing everywhere in the world with aborigins in the jungle and etc. She looks like a very soulful lady.

Then Hitomi the soprano came, then Akim, Akiko the funky geisha, Vivian the percussionist, Felix the bassist (first time meeting him), Kossan the sansen-playing Zen monk, Aaron the shakuhachi and trumpet player, then a half-Japanese guy, forgot his name, but he dressed up like Reiden in Mortal Kombat.

We introduced ourselves a little, then it was soundchecking time.

The soundmen were sooo professional, I've never met anyone like that in my life, they know their shit, and they're super nice to me too. The chief even gave me two 9 volt batteries for my preamp box.

Talking about preamp, my Fishman Platinum EQ model worked very well! I sounded 10 (or more) times better than when I was playing in 169 Bar. And this was my first time using it! I will try more shit on it when my amp arrives... hehehe...

The show went really well, with everybody's sponteinity, which is what Akim wants exactly.

He was right, it's 80% improvisation and 20% fixed. But even the stuff we rehearsed weren't been used entirely, Nature Boy was left behind.

HP and Firepower came to watch the gig, so was Nicholas, but he was late, I should've spanked him with my carbon fiber bow... Haha! But he was nice, he secretly took some pics before he got stopped by someone in the cafe.

The end of the show was a frenzy, so many people came out and danced with Akim, it became a party! And although my right arm hurts like hell after playing bow-chops for 90 minutes, I felt so good doing it.

Yeah man... Sometimes we DO need something like this to tell us how fun music can be.

跟周天合作

跟一个作曲家合作的话，最重要是看对方究竟知不知道自己要的是什么。

我看过好多位作曲家在回答问题的时候都相当的模菱两可，特别让人不舒服。你问他这样行吗，他会说“好像也可以”。如果你不发问，他就老是说好。

可今天我们把曲子拉给周天听的时候，他可是非常认真的告诉我们说他要的是什么，而且还很花了很多时间在一个部份上。我对他这精神还挺佩服，可以看得出他对自己的作品很重视，不马虎。还有，他完完全全可以在钢琴上把那首曲子弹出来，证明他对自己作品的整体非常了解，清楚。

这也是我觉得跟他合作很舒服的主要原因。

很多作曲家像是贴拼图一样，把自己喜欢的不同元素拼在一起就算是写好了一首音乐。而周天呢，却是个务实的作曲家，能够演奏自己的音乐，在在体现了他“我手写我口”的哲学。

虽然他指比我大上一岁，可是我可以感觉到这位仁兄前途无可限量。

就希望能和他多多合作吧！

把心关上...

夜深的时候，总会想比较多。感情也当然会比较丰富，尤其是靠灰色的那一面。

想来你也是这样一次又一次的把心店打开，邀请了一位又一位的客人近来，招待总是特别热情，特别真诚。当然，换来的总是一次又一次的失望，伤感。

于是，你在最后一次伤痛的时候做了一个决定 --- 把店关上！

复业无期。

那是一种戒严。好奇心会驱使你去看看外面的景象。

你看了，自然心就在动。你克制自己，让自己不要乱想乱看。

这份坚持，能有多久？

大概就看你了...

不过我说，还是把心关上。那就不会有刮痕，不会有尘埃，更不会有时来时去的春风夏雨。

一切进出心店的，不过是梦幻泡影一场。何必让它们玷污了你的店面？

所以我说，还是把心关上。

关上比较好。

好很多...

Jenny Scheinman Orchestra

I went to see this group that I've heard so much about in Tonic.

Quite a surprise to see Bill Frisell on guitar, Ron Miles on trumpet (whom I heard him playing in front of a heavy metal band), and Doug Wieselman on clarinets.

My bigger surprise was Alex Greenbaum, my friend, was there playing in the cello section!

Other names worth mentioned were Mark Chung (the guy who has the string jazz directory website), Jennifer Choi, Ron Lawrence, Natalie Haas...

For some reason, the folksy musical style didn't particular move me as much as some other shows I've seen in Tonic.

But I have to say, I learned so much just by watching Ron Miles soloing over the Western cowboy groove, he totally switched the groove from Western mode into jazz mode by adding in some syncopations in the right spot of the beat. I dunno how many people would notice that, but I totally felt it and was amazed by it. That feeling was badder than an orgasm!!

Doug Wieselman played some crazy shit on both the clarinet and bass clarinet, that shit was funky!

Bill Frisell's sound was as spacey as he used to be, can't say I particularly love it, but it does work well in some places.

I talked to most of these people after the set and was pretty psyched!

Lament to Henry Mancini Institute

Done with the last show of TMM, so happy! Got my cheque, banked it in~

Then I went to this totally cool 24-hour diner opened by a Greek, damn the fried chicken was REALLY delicious!!!!

I got home at last, it's 3:47am now... and I'm thinking of HMI...

HJ was right, HMI is too good to exist in the real world. Where can you possibly find another Summer music festival like this: full scholarship for everyone, performing with so many top jazz and pop artists, meeting one of the leading American composers alive, working and taking lessons with top Hollywood musicians, meeting all the famous film composers and get conducted by them, mock-recording in Warner Bros. Clint Eastwood Scoring Stage, and last but not least, learning about how to survive in the harsh music industry.

Coming out of HMI 2005, I became a totally new person who is cautious about so many things that I previously wouldn't notice. I became a more open person and like to talk to people and make connections and friends. And also, I became so much more confidence as a musician, knowing that I'm not as bad as I thought ----- being in the classical world would definitely make you feel that.

I owe so much to HMI that I would love to do anything to help raising fund to relaunch HMI, but I know I don't have that kind of power to do so...

But I just wanna tell all the friends that I knew from there, together with the administrative people like Jill Packard, Craig Michaels, Lisa Vasey, Jona Ang, Brett and Rachel our librarians. You guys are grrrrrrrreat!! Without you guys, what would HMI be like? Geez, I can't imagine...

Please HMI, if you could, please resurrect, we're waiting for you to "re-educate" our new generation of musicians and tell them how to get "A Life In Music"!

...The End...

I had so much great time in there, both last year and this year, but the Henry Mancini Institute (HMI) is closing down for good!

Such a shocking news to hear...

This morning when I woke up, still half asleep, Nick popped up on MSN and told me this shocking news. But he said he couldn't confirm.

After a busy out in Manhattan and Brooklyn, I came back, having Ray Pizzi's mail in my inbox, forwarding Lisa's message: It's confirmed, HMI is going to close down permanently starting from December 31st, 2006.

This is a very shocking news, I believe, to all the alumns and the crews.

But for some reason, I am extremely calm right now...

Working with Akim Funk Buddha

Tonight was the second time I played with Akim Funk Buddha, very very hip and cool Zimbabwe hip-hop artist.

He's not the kinda raw street guy who only knows how to do some rapping and dancing and looks like a gangster. He is far more sophisticated than that, and also more intellectual than that.

He went around the world to learn different types of music, including going to Bali to learn Kechak and Gamelan.

As an artist, Akim knows what he wants but he wouldn't want things to be the same every time. Working with him doesn't require reading, because he wants it raw and fresh and spontaneous.

So you went into the rehearsal space empty handed right? At least empty headed cuz you have your instrument in your hand. You won't know what to do. But he would tell you, "Not knowing something doesn't equal to confusion." I think that's his biggest philosophy, which fits him very well because he is a great leader.

You see, when he's around, only with his body movements (he dances real well too) and her human beatboxing, you can already feel the drive and the energy in him, and when you groove with him, he encourages you to bring it out more, never say negative shit when you did something wrong --- what's wrong to him anyway? Anything can become right when you play with him.

One more thing worths mentioning: My time feel got so much better after I played with him. I mean I was playing a duo with him rapping on my beat, you can imagine how tight my beats were!

A funny thing is, I somehow looks like my cousin brother Chee Kong, so funny!

If you dunno who is Akim Funk Buddha, go check out his website.

Fly away from Neverland...

Yeah so what can you do with some imaginations and some hope when you know there's none at all?

Thus you're hoping to fly away from your dreamland and back to reality.

But when your mind plays tricks with you, telling you that Neverland does exist, can you really see that clear?

You would even look for Tinkerbell for some magic powder when you wanna go back to reality!

So if you think Neverland exists, where is your Peter Pan? What have he done for you?

Grow up!

There ain't such thing as that.

Grow up and stop fantasizing about flying high and seeing beautiful mermaids!

Sometimes...

Sometimes I really think some people should stick to what they're doing best. I'm serious.

When you're trying to be who you're not able to be, you're not just screwing up your own life but also you might be wasting some other people's time. Sigh...

If you are not good in what you're trying to do, AT LEAST be humble and admit what you've done wrong. Isn't that easy? Nobody's gonna laugh!

But well, people just don't see their own problems and will start blaming on others.

But again, you've gotta shut up when that incapable person is creating job opportunity for you. Haha!

You gotta thank him/her, you know what I mean? It's complicated...

Miranda

I still remember her, I haven't seen her for two full years.

I still remember how beautiful and elegant she was, the touch of British taste.

She's a fiery violin player, don't mess with her.

Very responsible teacher as well.

What's more, a beautiful soul.

K and her divorced for a while, but she still cares about me as much as K does --- they're almost like my parents, musically.

Before I left for New York, I sent her an SMS on the phone, tell her that I will never forget her and she is always my "Shi Mu" (teacher's wife) whatever happened. I cried when I typed that. It really came from my heart.

I felt the love from both K and her. They're definitely listed in my top list of the people that I wish to thank the most.

I still remember that she knew that I'd like to get closer to Mae at one point, and brought me to choose flower to give it to her in her performance.

I suddenly thought of it this morning, I had a smile on my face. So I decided to write this article.

What a sweet memory --- the memory of being loved by someone you really respect.

Got it back!!

OK bitches, listen up!

I got the gig back!!

Take it like a man

Yes, I got fired for a gig.

Whether or not I can go back is still a big question mark. I wrote to them to explain why I was late and promised that I won't be late again. But if that woman is a hard nut to crack, then I will lose some money here.

What I have lost I cannot take back.

But I decided to learn it from experience and take it like a man.

That's what the Mancini Institute taught me, they taught me about professionalism, about being punctual. They told me no matter what reason, late means late and they couldn't care less what had happened to you on the way. It's cold, but it's true.

This thing also taught me to hold no grudge to anybody who fired me, cuz they fired me for a reason, and they were just doing their job.

I looked at my Mancini T-shirt that I have on me right now, remembering EVERYTHING what they told me --- the gospel truth of gigging.

A night of great music

I went to see my MySpace friend, Wu Di, playing her piano recital in Bosendorfer Piano Showroom NYC just now. That was something!

She's just terrific! She can play like nobody's business!

It was a recital that focuses on theme and variations.

The program kicked off with Haydn's Andante and Variations, beautiful, almost un-classical sounding piece. Then it was Brahms's Variations on a Theme by Paganini, which is based on the famous violin caprice no.24 by Nicky. Brahms had his very unique way of writing the variations that sometimes it almost didn't sound like a romantic piece --- almost 20th century sounding, if you will. But you can still hear bits and pieces of the original violin variations by Nicky. These two pieces show you how ahead of their time these two composers were.

After the intermission, Wu Di continued the performance with Copland's Piano Variations. Now I have to say I never liked Ari much even though I studied in the Aaron Copland School of Music. Not only his Americana thing, but also his early stuff, especially his Organ Symphony, ew... I don't like it. But there's something in this piece that I like, maybe it's simply Di's mastery on her piano and her giving a soul to this piece.

One thing that really bugged in the second half was the cat that brought a cup of red wine in after the intermission. He was sitting behind my row, very close to me, and he was constantly turning the cup in his hands, which made some noises. But what really made me mad was his constant sucking of his teeth, that piercing noise kept on turning up until I almost turned back to him and slap the shit out of him. He did that even near the end of the recital! Somebody kill me!!

Anyway, the second piece of the second half was Ondine by Ravel. Beautiful as usual! Mo's pieces are usually irresistable, at least for me.

Then it was the climax of the night, LISZT!! You almost don't call your piano recital a piano recital if you don't play something by him. So there we go! Reminiscenes de Don Juan! The only word I could describe this piece was virtuostic!

Wu Di has such technical equipment in her that nothing seems very hard for her. Now I know this almost sounds like I dunno shit about music, because we all know that learning the basics to play an instrument is already hard, let alone learning bitchin' pieces like those she played. But it's true, seeing the tiny Wu Di sweeping back and forth over the keyboard was like watching her cleaning them up with a cloth.

Also, she doesn't look like how old she is now. She's much more mature-looking (NOT OLD THOUGH!!) than her peers, probably because of her experience performing everywhere in the world. And, not to mention she is very very pretty too!

Wu Di --- see it and believe it!

x x x x x x x x

No I'm not finished.

I went straight to another gig after I hung around for a while in Wu Di's reception.

Now this one is totally a different vibe.

It's Dana Leong's regular show in Jazz Gallery --- Rhapsody in Groove!

Damn, when you see that Afro hair walking onto the stage, you better expect something more than a regular "good"!

So these cats went up to the stage and started to blow people's heads off with their strong hip hop beats that would keep your head nodding even though the music stops.

Now my father figure Ray Pizzi thinks that the hop is not really that hip, but I still feel a great deal out of that kinda music. Especially in a more sophisticated setting like this, with them motherfuckers tearing it up on the stage, I would say, it's really pretty hip! Maybe because I grew up in this era... I dunno.

Baba Israel is a fantastic human beatbox! He could make sounds that sound like samples that you could only get from Logic or Reason!!

The keyboardist Adam Platt is some motherfucker too. He had that nasty face when he played some really bad and funky shit. I think he's built for hiphop-jazz fusion. I like his down-to-earth playing.

As for Dana, man, as usual, a master in both trombone and cello. I was especially amazed to see his 3-finger plucking on the cello. The funny shit was one of his fingers got bleeding after he played that trick without him knowing about it!

Later after the gig, I told him, instead of "Thanks for the music" like what others would say, "Thanks for bleeding for us!"

Haha! Ain't that some shit?

Thus saith Wynton...

Wynton Marsalis's Speech to the 2006 Graduating Class:

I'm going to provide you all with very few practical words, the fruits of
many happy years of varied experiences in the arts.
First, congratulations. No one is ever going to ask you to see your grades.

Take all jobs. If somebody says, "Can you ??" say, "Yes, I can."

Leave jobs that you hate immediately.

If you find a job that doesn't feel like a job, don't let others for whom it
is a job make it feel like a job to you.

If you find yourself working at your craft, be happy, because it might not
happen again.

Being dissatisfied is not an achievement.

Every chance you get to perform is important. It could be at an elementary
school, it could be at a rehearsal-every little aspect of it is sacred and
is significant.

And, just as a rule, people are generally more enthusiastic the less they're
being paid. Many times people want to know about commercialism versus art.
Do what you want to do. Don't be conflicted. But realize that integrity is
real, and so is starvation.

Never let pay and the talk of pay occupy more time and space than the talk
of your art. If you find that it is, go into banking, or start a hedge fund
or something.

Also, about pay: understand where you are. When I was 19, I was on a tour
with Herbie Hancock and I started complaining to him before we walked
onstage about what I was being paid. He said, "Come here, man. Look out into
the audience." He said, "Now, do you see those people?" I said, "Yes, sir."
He said, "They paid for these tickets. If you don't walk out onto the stage,
how many of them are going to leave? ? Now, if I don't walk out, how many
will leave? ? That's why you're being paid what you're being paid."

Always remember that an agent that you have just met is not your friend.

Never deny a compliment after a performance. "Oh, I love your ?" "No, I
didn't ?" No. No ? Say, "Thank you." It takes a lot less words.

If you sign an autograph, always look at the person before you hand it to
them. Always.

If you've written some music, and everybody is bored, and you even find
yourself getting a little bored, it's boring. Don't worry. I would also like
to debunk the notion that it will be understood later, because if that were
the case, we would have a lot of boring pieces from the 1870s that would be
popular hits right now.

If you notice that everybody at the table has been quiet for a very, very
long time, except for you, you've been talking too much.

Now, to combat nervousness: Number one, practice a lot. Two, think about how
unimportant what you're doing is in the general scheme of things. Three,
breathe very deeply and relax. Number four, envision great success, or
envision failure and figure, how bad could that be? Finally, forget about
all of that stuff and just go ahead and do your thing.

In a crisis, or if you are caught lying, you have to come with the truth.
Always tell the truth in a crisis.

When you get a bad review, never ask someone if they've seen it.

Don't pretend not to have seen it. Never, ever dwell on it-or on them, in
case you get more than one, which you will if you stay out here-so as to
mention it to someone who might not even know or care about what you're
talking about. Too much commenting on bad things or criticism, somebody
attacking you, is really a form of egotism.

Don't eat too much bread late at night after performances. But wine is O.K.

Never take the last of anything off of a table when you are a guest. Let
that last thing sit there. "Do you want ? ?" "No, I don't want ?" the last
of anything.

I also want you all to realize that our collective success as artists, all
of us, is inextricably tied to the taste levels of the world. The concerned,
the refined, the soulful-they're always at battle with the callous, the
crass, and the exploitative. That's why Picasso said that a work of art is
actually a weapon. You know, we fight for consumers. Artists have always had
to fight for consumers. And you all-all of you young artists-you're called
to battle the runaway global descent in the popular taste. You're called to
do that without snobbery, or prejudice, or retreat into the smug, high
ground of the academy-and please, without selling out, or selling people
short.

Use your talent, your good looks, and your education, to transform the whole
world with the power of art. Engage the world through inspired teaching,
through tireless proselytizing, through an unwavering practice of craft at
its highest levels. Engage the world of fellow artists, teachers, audiences,
students, critics and other various haters, with a boundless energy, an
irrepressible zeal, an unassailable humility, and an infectious joie de
vivre. Then you go from being the isolated, misunderstood, besieged artist
to being a powerful testimony for the inevitable transcendence of artistry.

You see, as you all go out into the world, know that you have a very special
gift: a gift that announces itself through music, dance, drama, film,
literature, comedy, painting. You have a gift that survives. It survives the
disappointment of not being famous, or not becoming as great as you thought
you would be. It's a gift that many times actually grows larger with life's
unpredictable and inevitable heartbreaks.

This gift is as old as cave people gathering around a campfire to skillfully
lie about some animals they killed. Or some grizzled old cowboys trying to
shake the trail dust off their brains with an old harmonica and some
out-of-tune song, and some nasty coffee. Or Negro slaves at a jubilee,
healing days and nights of sorrow with the bittersweet balm of a dancing
fiddle and the piercing cry of the blues. Or a stage re-enactment of some
epochal love affair that rekindles again and again the grandeur of romance
between a man and a woman for those who may have forgotten.

This is the gift that caused old, sick, deaf Beethoven to crawl out of his
bed at 2:37 in the morning and put his ears on the piano just to hear the
vibrations. He couldn't hear any notes. This is the gift that had old, blind
Matisse laying up on his bed, looking up at the ceiling with a stick, trying
to put some color on the ceiling, to figure out some way to squeeze the last
moment of something out of his life.

What about Louis Armstrong? The Promethean giant of American feeling, with
lips as scarred as the moon, reaching for those last few, blood-soaked high
C's? Yes, this gift is something.

Whether you play on the main stage of the world or you toil in obscurity,
believe me, you have the gift to create community with your song, with your
dance. Don't sell it short. Get people to gather around, and understand that
we are us, and we become us through art by hearing about who we used to be,
who we are, and, in some cases, who we should be-or who we're going to be.

Use this gift wisely. And if you end up broke, or unhappy, or lonely, it's
going to be by choice, because people love art, and they love artists, and
they love to be touched, and they love for you to touch them, and they love
you. They're not your enemy; they're your friend. And you won't believe the
way that they'll open their heart and the love that they will give you.

In closing, I'm going to go to an old master of plantation trumpet, Enute
Johnson, the early pioneer. He played the cornet around 1883.

A government interviewer found him as an old man, got him a new set of
teeth. He saw him working in the sugar-cane fields, around Vacherie, La. He
observed that Enute Johnson was not bitter at all about his seeming
misfortune. So he asked Enute to reflect on his trumpet playing and other
things that he liked to do.

Mr. Johnson said, "Son, play long, play hard, and play as much as possible."
And that makes life quite sweet, brothers and sisters.

Quite sweet.

New joke from Ray Pizzi

I wonder how does he get all these inspirations:

I once caught my young son masterbating and warned him he could go blind and he said, DAD....I'm over here!

Thanks Martin

Man, thanks for the clothes and thanks for fixing my bow for me!!

And thanks for the ice-cream!

Thanks for the hang too!

You're awesome!

Slept right through!

Damn I slept right through my orchestra today!

Feels so good!!

Shitchyah!!!!!!!!!

Just me and my soju...

In this Saturday night, most other people might be going crazy in the bar, dancing in some clubs, watching a concert or a movie, chillin' in a resturant, doing Halloween party somewhere, wondering around the streets, making love with their lovers...

But I'm just here, drinking my soju, getting buzzed, listen to a newly bought CD, thinking of her, hating myself, talking to my own blog...

That's basically what my life is right now, except playing music and get high on music, it's still music.

I should be happy right?

I should!

But why am I not?

Maybe I'm just another greedy person who's never satisfied with his current life.

I suppose so...

自饮自酌本当自得其乐，奈何佳人无心，君子有意，问天不得回应，问地不闻声息。喜耶？悲耶？岂我俗人可知？未知果实，不可审断之！佳人若他日有心，自当乐而为伴。唯独他人心意岂能猜度？嗟乎！不如一醉天明！

M's Reject

I found a new title for my next tune, it's gonna be "M's Reject".

But I still dunno how the song would sound like. Might sound pretty horrifying or intimidating...

We'll see...

Some new advice from Ray Pizzi...

RPIZZI2 (11:14:54 PM): Stay with it, even when your doing "industry" jobs, stay with it, keep the shit going. Don't wait, devise the means for keeping alive and start as soon as possible. You need to grow past the Evil Twin Syndrome, don't wait and want anymore. Start accomplishing stuff. Stop putting up barriers. Get yourself play records now, get into shape before you play with live guys. That way you'll have a tune base to choose from. Start with standards, eventually the experience and knowledge will tell you when to embark

RPIZZI2 (11:15:43 PM): on your own compositions which will then have harmonic and melodic substance.

RPIZZI2 (11:17:48 PM): If you need any help, I'm here.

Orchestra rehearsal

No, this is not about the movie...

I know, I know... there's a movie by Fellini that has this title...

Anyway, today's Wednesday, so naturally, there was orchestra rehearsal!! Yay~~~

Wait, why do I sound so happy? I dunno. I shouldn't be. There could be a reason. But maybe I reason that I should explain in my other blog.

Anyways...

No, it didn't went well. Was pretty bad actually.

I was sitting with this chick who had no clue what to do but still played as loud as Joe Venuti.

But I didn't get mad at her and show my face or anything.

I know she's not up to that level, she's forced to play music that is WAY over her ability. I'm cool with it. I'm being patient about it.

I think one of the reasons that makes me reacted so was my own experiences (bad ones of course!) from the Malaysian Phil.

I was a hard time in there when some of the members in there were bitchin' at me telling me to keep my volume down and shit. I mean, if they told me nicely, it's fine. They either gave me a nasty look or simply just spitted words like "CAN'T YOU PLAY SOFTER?!!".

There are many ways with dealing with people who are in a lower position than you (experience wise). One is to get pissed yourself and later on piss them off as well; the other one is just to be nice and make him/her feel comfortable.

Now, why make yourself feel bad first of all? You KNOW that they can't be as good as you for the time being, even though you yelled at them and beaten them up.

So I chose to be the second type myself. When I really can't stand it, I would just suggest to them about what to do. Isn't that much better? Even if they didn't like your suggestions, they wouldn't get mad at you.

What an experience in MPO! I didn't only learn how to play in orchestra professionally, I also learned how to be a more decent person.

My student's fucking mother!!!

Chau jibai!!!!!

Pukimak!!!!!!

Lancheow!!!!!!

Ssibal!!!!!!!!

FUCKING BITCH!!!!!

Who the fuck does she think she is????!!!!

Machauhai!!!!!!!

First of all, don't think that if you can pay me a couple bucks and you think you can talk to me like "May I have your credentials" when you ASK for lessons from me for your daughter!!

Eh, jibai, you don't ask me like that OK??? Bitch???

What's more, you're saying like, "I need to know before I make my decision". Eh bitch, YOU'RE the one who first ask lessons from me! I didn't beg you to let me teach your daughter dammit!!!!

Now, after I told you that I already got my masters, you DO NOT ask me "MS in what?"

Bitch, are you retarded? Are you FUCKED in the head??? Huh????

I told you I am a professional musician who performs everywhere in New York, OF COURSE I got my masters in VIOLIN PERFORMANCE!! Do you need to go to school again bitch???

Holy shit!!!!

One more rude + stupid question from you, you idiot, I'm NOT gonna teach your daughter! Just who the FUCK do you think you are???

Motherfucker!!!

Yau ngat lik!!!

One of my favorite videos!!!

Steve Reich @ 70!!!!!!

Man, I can't believe I could get into that concert.

I got there at 7.30pm, there were sooooo many people outside of Carnegie Hall wanting to buy extra tickets. They all held up two fingers on the right hand or less.

So I raised my fore finger indicating that I need one, just to try my luck.

I thought there wasn't any hope.

There's a son of a bitch who came up and wanted to sell a ticket for a hundred, I mean, fuck him. The most expensive ticket is only 68! I should call a police.

But damn, there's this guy who came up and ask if I want a ticket, he would sell it for 20 dollars, that's even cheaper than the lowest price, 28 bucks! So I got the ticket and went in!

The first piece was Electric Counterpoint that Reich wrote for Pat Metheny. It's such a great piece, simple but down-to-earth. Pat performance was totally AWESOME. He didn't miss a single note or rhythm, and yet he was memorizing the music!! I was so thrilled by it! It sounded exactly like the recording.

Then Kronos came out and tore up Different Trains. I liked it a lot too.

After the intermission, the REAL DEAL was up!

Steve Reich and Musicians!!!!!!

They performed Music for 18 Musicians. That work was 60 minutes long but man, I tell ya, I didn't fell asleep AT ALL!! The whole piece was non-stop but SO INTENSE! You could see musicians switch roles from one instrument to another, sometimes you could even see 3 musicians playing ONE marimba!

Steve Reich was very low profile. He didn't stand out to bow especially. He only bowed together with all the other musicians. He didn't show people he was Steve Reich (except his cap, maybe), not until the musicians started to acknowledge him. He already gained my respect by doing this!

What I felt from the whole concert was the joy of music, the organic side of the music --- I know it's mathematical, but I could hear it's ALIVE! And it's not machine-like. The musicians had fun playing the stuff, I could tell, they were so relaxed when they played, especially the pianist that played the off beats for more than 10 minutes non-stop!

Watching cloud is what it's like to listen to minimalist music, watching cloud changing...

I feel like calling...

I dunno man... it's just weird...

I felt like calling people up today...

I just kept on calling anybody that I could think of and see if anybody wants to talk!

Of course, there weren't anybody answering, as usual.

For example, I called up Manda to try my luck but didn't make it. She was with her family. So I thought I should leave her alone.

Ken told me not to call him cuz he needed to sleep before party.

Jeremy just didn't pick up the phone, as usual.

Justin's not at home.

Michelle's having hard time cuz her grandma's in hospital.

I especially wanted to talk to somebody after I got the music from Dong and waited for the bus for twenty fuckin' minutes in the cold night wind!!

Luckily Heun Jeung gave me a call and we talked for a quite a bit! Otherwise, it would be my longest 20 minutes...

I dunno, sometimes I'd just go through all the possible phone numbers and tried to call someone and find someone to talk to.

Why?

This happens only once in a while.

Why?

Is it because I feel lonely?

...

Jimmy Heath's 80th!!!

It's really amazing to see a great musician who lived from the bebop era until now, a living witness of a country's musical evolution, sitting in the audience, enjoying his own orchestral work being performed on the stage, accompanied by his fellow musicians, Frank Wess among others.

Such a great experience!

The house was packed with his colleagues, friends, and family.

The orchestra was full of spirit playing his Three Ears for jazz quintet and orchestra.

Tony Hart and Mike Moss blowing their asses off on their horns. Especially Moss, man, his trumpet could tear down the whole music building!

Jimmy, a little giant --- very short, but when he starts blowing his horn, he was like a 7 feet tall. That's what he is. A very gentle and warm person with super-sharp ears.

Jimmy, hope you'll be with us all the time! Keep being healthy, and teach us all you know about music... and LIFE!

Today, October 17th...

...or should I say yesterday? It's 12.33am now.

Whatever.

Didn't do much today.

The biggest accomplishment I had was that I did my laundry at last!!!

My biggest UNaccomplishment today was I couldn't finish the stupid comics...

Should I plead for their mercy to not charge me late fees?

Going to play Jimmy Heath program tomorrow, I'm psyched!

Musical leadership/ Dong's Vid Rec/ Mark Feldman

These days I tend to write different things in one article, saves my time.

HJ's gig last night was good, wouldn't say fantastic, but decent for first timers.

Hey, at least they get so many audiences to come!

Trin's sound wasn't attracting me at all though. It's not her lines, just the sound.

This makes me rethink the importance of "sound", a word which Julian likes to repeat over and over again.

HJ has the sound, once she bows her cello, she's got that kinda intensity in her sound that Trin doesn't have. It's so distinctive!

But when Chris sat in, man, it was totally a different world! The band basically sounded like new once he stepped in.

Now, of course, Chris is much too experienced than them. But what I learned from him was the ability of his, guiding the band through high and low during his solo. Which means he was playing with the band, not playing karaoke like amateurs.

Sometimes we might tend to think that soloists should go free when doing solo, letting the rhythm section follow us. It's so untrue, no matter what it is, it's still chamber music playing! It's about ensemble and communication! When you have that and not living in your own world, you're leading the band --- then the audiences --- to another world.

x x x x x x x x x x x

I am grateful enough that Desmond called off the rehearsal today when I told him I have Dong's recording to do.

It was a video shooting session. We played excerpts from Appalachian Spring and Siegfried Idyll.

It sounded pretty good. Of course, players tonight were far better than the ones we had before in his other concerts.

At last I got to play Siegfried Idyll a little bit. I love that piece! :)

Too bad Manda wasn't playing...

x x x x x x x x x x x

My Mark Feldman CD came today, the title is "What Exit".

It's a good album, typical ECM sound, spacy and clean.

I like it. I am again amazed by Anders Jormin, the bassist who did his solo ECM album called "Xieyi" (写意). The reason was he showed another side of him that is opposed to Xieyi. He's more active in here, and he even showed that he could do some Indian fiddling on his bass!

Amazing.

I think Mark's compositions are awesome. A little Zorn-influenced, but very easy to listen to.

Great album Mark! I like it!

So drunk...

Chris!!! You da man!!! You inspire me EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN' TIME I see you play!!!

I don't wanna be another you, but I wanna be someone like you!!!

You inspire me even when you're talkin' to me, you know? Seriously man.

Heun Jeung, you a badass muthafucka!!

Keep it up!!!

Your lines are sicker than mine!!! I love it!!!

Keep on being yourself!!!!!!!

I just wanna curse

I dunno what else to do on Saturday but cussing my way till the next morning.

I just feel so undelighted and fucked up every Saturday.

Working from 9.30am till 6.30pm, teaching some VERY uninteresting students, getting peanuts in return!!

If I'd find a better job, I betchor ass that I will QUIT this motherfuckin' job!!!

I just feel like yelling at everybody I see; cursing at every single damn thing I encounter; and shouting like a mad man in the asylum!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Grudge 2 --- really? a horror flick?

Bad presentation

Bad script

Bad make-up

No logic (I know it's a movie, but at least some, OK? How could an old Japanese lady can suddenly speak fluent English?)

However good Christopher Young's music was, it didn't help a bit. Because the pacing of the movie and the editing already lost the grip, I don't think anyone can help!

Why does a movie like this can be rated PG-13??? The kid behind me was crying through some scenes... poor thing...

One more thing, is Takashi Shimizu going cuckoo? Where is his great directing in the Japanese version?

Social Security Card~~~

I woke up at 10.25 or something like that this morning. Damn! Should've woke up at 9.30am!

So I shaved my teeth and brushed my face... uh... I mean... brushed my teeth and shaved my face and went to the school with HP, ready for today's rehearsal.

Since we missed the time to do individual practice, we jumped right into learning the new section of Nilon together, which is page 4 and page 5.

We spent some time working out the time (of couse), and I spent a bit on learning my notes, they're some hard nuts to crack! Then we went back to the 1st three pages to further polish it --- if you can call that "polish"...

And then!! Mr Jordan Kuspa's piece, "Beneath the Magma" (which means hardcore...).

It's a far more practical piece cuz it's written by a cellist, he knows what works and what's not. We basically read through the whole piece on the spot, shouldn't be too much of a problem. But it's nice and energetic, should be a good piece to start the program.

Then we had a short lunch and I went to Jamaica!! I went to apply for my social security card.

I heard people inside the counters yelling and shouting at the applicants, ooh~~ scary~~ Luckily when it was my turn, it was a Chinese lady --- probably the only one --- who served me. When she was my name, she asked me if I was Chinese and we started to speak Cantonese. She was very nice to me. It took around 15 minutes to finish the whole process, and she asked me to wait for 2 weeks the most.

I can work legally SOON!!!!

What'd I do today?

1) Practiced Mikael's piece by myself
It's very hard ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I went through 3 pages and then...

2) Then I rehearsed that three pages with HP
You know, when playing his shit, we can't concentrate on what notes we're playing.
We spent our time only in figuring out the rhythm. It's very very complicated!

3) Went to Met to buy my orange juice and malt drink.

4) Watched Infernal Affairs II.
I always think this one is even better than the first one. Now that I watched it
again, I reconfirmed my thought. The script is very very well planned, full of
power that most HK movies don't have.

5) Went to transfer HP's Time Warner account to my name.
I also cancelled the TV account. It's 20 dollars less than what we paid for.
Exactly what I want!

6) White Castle
Yeah, I had my dinner in White Castle --- believe it or not, it's the first time.
Food is very good!

7) Ken's new work
Yes, at last, the zombie!! I saw it. Haha! It's very funny. Oi Ken! Put it online
lah!!!

Mikael's new piece and the lesson with Mdm Rhee

I came back from lunch with Manda after the QCO rehearsal (taught her some ancient Chinese homework), had a short nap, and started to practice Mikael's newly written piece for us that I got from yesterday (Oct 10th).

The piece is fuckin' hard, not that it's technically challenging or anything, it's just the counting. I tried to do quarter equals to 72, which is the original speed, but it's impossible. So I slowed it down to 60, didn't work either. So I started to play half time to figure them out.

It got better.

Well... I guess I have to spend a lot of time doing that and listen to the MIDI file...

After practicing for a short while, it was my time to meet up with Firepower to rehearse and take HER lesson with Mdm Rhee.

Mdm Rhee is a very strict teacher, she knows what she's saying and teaching, I have lots of respect towards her. She told me once that I should think more before I do something in the music and don't be like a mindless fiddler.

It really knocks me on the head hard and woke me up!

Yes, I had been pretty careless with such stuff... or rather, I didn't really get enough information about it before, about the stylistic stuff.

So I was wondering about this time. What would she say?

Strangely enough, she didn't say a word about my playing today. Yet, she asked Firepower to listen to how I play and follow what I do!

Wow...

So I bought myself a BIG Strawberry Milkshake in Coldstone later. hehe...

The Departed vs. Infernal Affairs

Saw "The Departed" last night. It's pretty well made. Except it's a little too long for my taste.

I guess the reason is because they tried to give every big star in the movie a chance to act. But this caused some inbalance in the movie.

I dunno if it's me taking sides or what, but I still like Infernal Affairs --- the Hong Kong flick that The Departed is based on. I like the way they present the story, the simplicity of a complicated storyline. It focuses on two men instead of letting everybody shine. But don't get me wrong, the actors in Infernal Affairs ALL had great chances to show their ability to act, because the script is very well written, small roles doesn't mean outplayed.

But I would say The Departed is still worth a watch. You can let me know what you think after you saw it!

The way to avoid rejection...?

Sometimes I'm really wondering if Wong Kar Wai's statement is merely a made-up dialogue, I think it might work well in real-life though:

"To avoid being rejected, one rejects others first."

I think this shit is deep.

And I think I sometimes have the tendency to think that way. But thinking and practicing are two different things.

Sometimes I really wish I could do that, and I think I would be happier and get myself less heart-break that way...

Anxiety, T bro, like I told you... anxiety is what I have now...

My Wonderful Mid-Autumn

Yes, it's Mid-Autumn, one of the biggest Chinese festives.

I had my recording with Smaldone this morning (I only slept 4 hours prior to that...), it was pretty good I would say.

Then I had lunch with Koli, we talked a bit, it was great, haven't been talking to him for a long time.

Then later went to Manhattan to meet up with Manda, she had her flute lesson with Siebert again. We went to 34th St together, she went to Macy's while I went to do some final rehearsing for the French Baroque concert.

The concert started late, because the seminar before it ended late.

I thought I played pretty well today, except some minor problems in La Mort de Didon. Why is it always Didon that has problems?!!

Manda loved it till she forgot to take pictures for me! :P Don't hit me...

Then we went to Chinatown to have Malaysian food in Mr. Lau's restaurant. It's cool, she liked it!

Then we went home to celebrate Mid-Autumn! Yay!

We had some mooncakes and sake, we talked a bunch, then we started to watch "Sepet", the Malaysian movie.

Too bad the VCD was pretty scratched up, it didn't work well. But yeah, still, we had a great time! She got to know my culture more.

Manda, it's been great hanging tonight, I had grrrrrrrrrrreat time!

Thank you so much! 谢谢你！

Can't sleep...

What the hell am I doing here?

Can't sleep... sigh...

I had a big headache just now, and after I slept it off, I couldn't continue sleeping anymore.

I hate this...

So I got up, switched on the computer, and started tidying up my room and my living room a bit, waiting for tomorrow to come... waiting for her to come... waiting for my Mid-Autumn Festival to come...

CV3

OK, Malaysians, I'm not doing a wrong spelling here, this is not about TV3 (it's outdated anyways... who still watch it? Please raise your hands...)

This is about CV --- Cuong Vu, 3 ---- Trio.

Yes, Cuong Vu Trio.

I found out about Cuong Vu Trio's performance 2 days before. I was planning to go to Michelle's show with the Big O Orchestra in Symphony Space, but Michelle told me to go to see CV instead because I should say hi to him and thank him for the kind and beautiful messages on MySpace that he gave us.

I was almost late to the show, and I saw Nick Ong standing near the door when I got in. Cuong was talking about his compositional process before his premiere of his two new pieces for FONT Music (Festival of New Trumpet Music). So before he really started to play, we rushed to the first table and sat down.

The music was fantastic, typical Cuong sound. A trumpet (CV), a six-string electric bass (Stomu Takeishi), and a drumset (Ted Poor).

He played two new compositions, and two old ones. They sounded fantastic, each has their own characteristics, but in the same time, the style is very unified, like I said, typical Cuong sound.

Cuong is a very still player, he doesn't move around, he stood there, lowered his head, staring at the music or his partners, but notes that came out of his horn, man, were somethin' else! Stomu was like a crazy caveman dancing around without shoes, a bright contrast from Cuong. Ted Poor was following tightly to Stomu, I thought they formed a super-tight rhythm section, they did EVERYTHING together, as if they reside in each other's heads.

Cuong likes to mix harmony and beautiful melodies (in its own rights) with noise. Now I don't mean white noise but noise that makes so much sense. The delay effects from Cuong and Stomu were almost over-whelming in the last piece but I LOVED IT! And I also really enjoyed it when the rhythm section was doing some quick pointilistic passages while Cuong's mellow and echoed trumpet sound was flowing over them like moving clouds or dancing Northern lights.

Almost at the end of the show, before the last piece, Cuong specially thanked some organizations and people, while I heard him saying, "Thanks to Dave Douglas for choosing me to play here..." And I saw people's eyesight focused on MY table, apparently not at me, so I looked back behind me (I was backing the table so that I could see the stage) and I found myself sitting right opposite to Dave Douglas on the same table. HOLY SHIT!

And when the lights were on, I looked around the crowd, and guess whom I saw?

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

PAT METHENY!!!!!!!

Cuong went up to talk to him (Cuong is his trumpeter in Pat Metheny Group). I went up to say hi to Cuong. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hi Cuong, I'm Chern Hwei from the Evil Twin.
CV: Hey! I LOVE your stuff!! I really like it!!
Me: Oh, thank you very much!
CV: I wish to see one of your gigs!
Me: Well, IF I get gigs. :)
CV: :D
Pat Metheny: :)

Cuong Vu, saying this in front of Pat Metheny!! It made my day!!

I-House Jam October 1st

Can't believe this shit, I slept at 7am and woke up at 11am looking dumb and shit, and 12 hours later I was in I-House with Heun Jeung and ready to play again.

Ain't that some funny shit? This is a crazy life I'm living!!

After I got all setup, I played Autumn Leaves with the house band, with Anna, our ex-QC student, on the bass. I thought something was funny in the background when I played. Was it me or was it the rhythm section playing some funny shit? I dunno. But I went through it, didn't feel so good though.

I didn't play for the rest of the night, not till the last song, "Nardis", which I had never played before. Surprisingly, the band switched on their funk mode!

So I played funk over Trane... I thought I pulled it off pretty well except I didn't know the changes that well. But I tried to be as singing as possible. And I think people dig it.

Jamming with Jeremy Kittel is pretty fun too, hope I can play more with him!

The jam session ended around 1:30am. Got back to Queens around, 3 something, crashed at 4...

Party at Bodek's

I finished performing with Ensemble 212 (as a violist) and rushed up to Spanish Harlem to attend Bodek's house warming party. That place is really scary. See all those random people that look like "homies" in the movies. When I walked pass them, one even said, "Hey Chink, I got somethin' fo' ya!" WTF...

Anyway, I got so fucked up in the party that I slept on the couch and totally missed the big jam session.

Why am I so fucked up?

I had two cups of red wine, 2 shots of vodka, and half a bottle of the big Beck's beer.

Some people might say I suck at drinking, but hello, I'm an Asian~~

I didn't realize until I got into the house that Jeremy Kittel, the famous jazz violinist that Heun Jeung always tell me about, is one of the roommates of Bodek! We jammed after I woke up (so I played anyway...) and it was so much fun.

I was thinking of crashing on Bodek's couch, but Heun Jeung needed me to accompany her home. So I crashed in her living room instead --- it was 7am then.

自从来了纽约过后，我就好久没有听到雨声了。
今天早上在Heun Jeung的客厅睡觉的时候听到外头突然噼里啪啦的一阵乱响，酒未醒的我朦胧中还以为是有人在外面放鞭炮。清脆的声响像大珠小珠落一盘，非常动听，觉得这声音还真熟悉而且也挺怀念。
到我醒了开门要离开那里的时候才发现原来外面悄悄的下了一场小雨。
空气中无比的清新爽朗，我的一天在11点钟才正式开始...

A hectic but exciting day

So I woke up at 10am. Slept pretty early last night, a whole night's chat with Manda was very satisfying and I didn't feel like staying up so late anymore for some reason.

I had two rehearsals to run for today: 1st being Ensemble 212 (viola), 2nd being the French Baroque performance in CUNY Grad Center (Baroque violin).

I took a shower and got "stoned" in front of the computer (you know, computer and internet are like drugs) for a while, and went to make my lunch --- vegetarian curry rice. Then I came back and found Manda was back from school and was online.

So I started a little chit chat with her until she said she needed to practice a bit before her lesson (her first lesson with Renee Siebert). Later, I met up with her at her place and she drove us to Sunnyside to try to find a parking spot and hop on to the train. But she gave up later because she couldn't find a spot, and also, the place looks scary for a girl to walk in at night. I totally agree with her.

So she drove us straight into the City, and she dropped me in front of Jazz @ the Lincoln Center, cuz I thought my rehearsal was near there. And fuck me, I made a mistake! I couldn't figure out where the Good Shepherd Church was. But luckily there was an old man overheard me asking someone by the streets and came up to tell me that it's next to Lincoln Center. I suddenly realized where it was!! Hell I even performed there before!

The rehearsal with 212 was pretty long but I didn't really felt that way, the rehearsing technique was pretty impressive. But my viola reaidng skills still needs to improve that's for sure! I did well in all the pieces until Classical Symphony. I think Prokofiev was drunk on vodka when he wrote this, because he thought the viola section is the third violin section...

The other rehearsal was almost back-to-back with 212, and I had to rush to 34th St right after the little "makan" (eating) at the church basement. Wasn't too bad, I didn't know that I could take a "1" train straight to the Empire State Building. Ha! New discovery! Pretty handy.

By the time I was finished with the rehearsals, it was like 9 something at night already. I went to Wendy's, ordered some super value items and started chowing while reading the last book of "Uzumaki" by Ito Junji. And hell, I finished the entire book in Wendy's! It was 10.15pm then.

I reached home at about 11.30pm.

x x x x x x x x x x

One exciting thing about today:

I got an e-mail in my junk mailbox, it's from the Downtown Music Gallery that said "Mark Feldman Quartet, etc..." I didn't even look at the other words! The name "Mark Feldman"* totally caught my eyes and I went straight into that e-mail and see what it written in there.

It's Mark's new CD on ECM, with this famous bassist, Anders Jormin, whom had an album out on ECM, titled "Xieyi" (Chinese word that has two meanings: <1> Relaxed life, <2> A certain Chinese painting technique that passes on the feeling to the observer instead of a real figure of something), which is among my decent CD collection. The review was a great one, and I decided to buy it at some point.

So I wrote an e-mail to Mark, telling him that I wanna buy this album and stuff like that. I also attached my MySpace site and the Evil Twin's as well.

About 10 minutes afterwards, I got his e-mail reply which made my heart swell:

"hi I listened to your music of evil twin and It is sounding really good!

New York seems to have been really great for you Your Music has advanced so much from the

CD that you sent to me.

I really enjoyed it and keep up the good work!

best

mark feldman"

*In case you dunno who Mark Feldman is, he is one of the most famous jazz violinist in the world right now. Based in New York, he played for many great names (and STILL playing for some of them), including John Zorn, Dave Douglas, John Abercrombie, Kenny Wheeler, John Taylor, Lee Konitz, Joe Lovano, Uri Caine, Trilok Gurtu, WDR Jazz Orchestra...etc.

B Section is out!!

So I wrote the previous blog, complaining that I can't find a good B section for "Manda's Mood" right?

Manda read my blog and was so happy to see that title. :D We chatted for a long time until I suddenly figured out a more decent B section for it.

Manda said she couldn't wait to listen to it. Unable to beat her curiosity, I recorded a 4-track overdub and sent to her through the net. She said she likes it!

Manda, if you're reading this, I want to say, thank you, and DON'T BEAT ME!!

OUCH!!

OO!!

OW!!!

OUCH!!!

My New Song: Manda's Mood

I have that light and poppish sound in my head, which should be elegant and UNcheesy in the same time.

So I wrote down four bars of shit with chords that goes like this (REALLY pop sounding, don't laugh, cuz you don't hear the melody):

Dmaj7 - - - | B-7 - - - | Gmaj7 - - - | Emin7 - A7 - | and repeat...

Totally pop progression, but I like it simple.

And then I wrote two different versions of the B section, and they all sounded like cheesy Asian pop shit. I hate that sound. In fact I diss that sound, I could I possibly write something like that?!!

Anyway... Manda's Mood will be a work in progress...

p/s: Manda, if you read this, please forgive me and DON'T BEAT ME I beg u...

Improv - Farewell to Momoko - Jam Session

Maybe Trane's spirit enlightened me on last Saturday (his birthday), I let two of my 10 students to improvise over the cheesy piano chords (that's all I can play, so don't laugh!).

The first kid, Rohin, an Indian kid who's really greedy about learning so many instruments, started doing his own thing over the chords. He did some beautiful shit in there, though not very organized. But who cares? It's improv. Plus I told him he shouldn't care, just express himself in his own way. The main reason I asked him to do this was to make him play beautiful sound that he hears in his head, because he's got serious tone quality problem. Well, he didn't really quite make it, but it's OK, it will come sooner or later.

Second kid, Cathy, a pretty little Chinese girl, when I told her that I'm gonna play some shit on the piano and she can do whatever she wants over it, her eyes shined with brightness and excitement and said, "COOOOOOWOL~~~!" She really played some wonderful shit over it. TRULY wonderful. She's got a great sense of melody!

Now I have to say that I NEVER taught them how to improvise. But how did they do it?

Or maybe this question is more important: Why could they do it?

I think the answer I can give right now, is, they're kids.

Kids always have this flexibility that adults can't have, physically and mentally. They're open-minded, easy-going, care-free, and relaxed.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x

I met up with Heun Jeung on Sunday to go to the jam session that J-O organized.

Before that, Momoko came to meet up with us so that she could bring us to get her remaining stuff.

Before we went off, we had a little jam with her.

This is the first time (hopefully not the last time) I ever jammed with Momoko. She's got some sick lines, she's good! She told me I improved so much since last year. She didn't hear me play jazz for a year. I'm glad that she found me improving!

We went to her house to pick up some stuff that she gave Heun Jeung, and we took a picture with her!

We will miss you Momoko! See you again in New York some time!

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Yeah, jam session in International House besides Manhattan School of Music.

So Brandon Wright was there, Barb was there, Bodek Janke, Antonio Miguel, and of course Jean-Oliver Begin, the organizer, was there too. And Heun Jeung brought Mike Bloch (?), the cellist of Mark O'Connor.

The players were in a very high level, that kicked my ass to play my ass off. I was glad that people cheered and clapped pretty hard after I played the tune of Kevin's choice, Sonnymoon for Two. It was a Blues, something that's very handy for me. I remember Master Ray Pizzi's teaching, "Blues is all about complaining! Frustrations!"

It was a great night. The music went till 1:30am. And I got home at 4am.

Amazing day.

Trane / Daijiro

9/23 is John Coltrane's birthday, and 9/24 is Daijiro's departure day to go back to Japan, then Germany.

Such meaningful days.

One is the arrival day of one of the greatest musical genius in our time.

Another one is the day one of my dearest friends leaving New York.

So in the intersection between these two special days, I met up with Daijiro, one last time before he left New York.

We met in Dunkin' Donuts, talked shit, had drinks and donut for an hour.

It was fun, a happy moment. There's never a moment so precious than spending time with your good friend --- a true friend.

When his bus came, I saw his eyes rolling with tears.

Such a person is Daijiro, full of emotion and sentimental. I still remember him crying after the concert with Prof. Michael Beuerle, hugging the professor.

Man, I'll never forget you! Wish you a wonderful career in the future!

And I hope our musical paths will cross again one day, play some crazy shit together, or, simply, sprechen Scheisse.

Thanks for cheering me up when I first came back from LA. Do you remember your quote? Maybe you don't. Here goes:

"Look at the sky, it's so clear and beautiful. Your heart should be like that too."

Yes my man, I will never forget this and I am putting it in good use.

Thank you so much! ありがとうございます！！ You will be 私の友達 forever.

The Drake Function

Had a session with Marcy Rosen today, playing the 2nd movement of Brahms 6tet no.2.

After that I rushed to Manhattan with Jung Yi on the E train. She went to Mannes, while I went to Madison Ave to play in POA for Drake Management's function.

The spot that we perform in was on the balcony of 16th floor --- yes, open air. We could see so much of the City from a view that we hardly get, it's quite beautiful up there.

We should have started rehearsing from 3pm, but the people in the office didn't like to have noise, so we had to cancel it and do photo session instead. The photo session took about 20 minutes and we were off until 5.30pm.

So Wu Tang and Shao Lin (me) went out to the 5th Ave to have a look in the Gucci shop, also, he introduced me to this boutique shop "Blanc de Chine" (源) which was based on the Chinese traditional design. Hey, I've never lay an eye on shops like these, this is like the first time, a GUY showed me this. I even tried a closed-collar designed jacket, I always liked this kinda design. Man, it was 100% silk, really comfy to wear! But of course, if you look at the price, you will run away.

Then we went to the Louis Vuitton shop to have a look, saw so many Japanese in there, actually in the whole of 5th Ave. So Wu Tang and me were wondering how could they be so rich?

The gig went pretty smooth, except I didn't have my music, and was reading off Wu Tang's stand, but it didn't really matter cuz I knew the music very well. I'm still wondering where the hell did they keep my music?

Anyway... we got our paycheck during the intermission, which was great! Should've ran off with it... :P

Attached are the pics that I took today, and you can see Shaolin and Wu Tang doing their Chinese thing...

I changed my poster!

So excited!

Went to QC today and saw a poster sale in the dining hall.

So I went to look for Miles Davis' poster, and guess what? I found them!

I chose one of the many designs, which is entitled "Miles Davis New York City 1948".

I really like the black n white layout, typical for jazz musicians. He's sitting on the chair casually playing his trumpet. He defines the word "Cool".

Still and calm. Not afraid of anything, but not hasty to show it.

In his own words, "Don't take shit from nobody."

That's the kind of characteristics Miles represented throughout his life. People said he is arrogant, but I would say that's not the only thing he has. His arrogance has a deeper or more transcended manner. It's hard to explain, but I think I hear it in his music.

So here we are, Miles replacing my Star Wars poster.

A change.

I need a change.

I need a metamorphosis.

A brainless day...

Hung over... Slept at 7am...

Got kicked up at 1pm to eat hot pot (thanks HP...)

Then I wasted my time on my bed the whole day, talking to Ken. Still tired over the hang-over.

Then out of tireness, I cancelled the hang with J.O. We will be meeting each other on Sunday in a jam session in International House.

Then Ma Jie and I talked on the MSN voice chat for 2 and a half hours. CRAZY!! She's really fun to talk to. Taught her how to analyze chords in a jazz tune. She said she needs tons of time to learn shit like that.

That was a fun conversation.

But then....I got a call from Choi right after the conversation and I found out that I forgot about Zach Brock's gig!!!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so brainless now... I can't go there, it's out in Brooklyn, too far for a train rider...

So I went to Liu He to have my pork chop rice and stinky tofu and came back, with LHP dancing with DDR...

That's my day...

華人=民族文化的走狗?

以前在大馬看到很多的華人不懂中文, 覺得很不以為然, 會認為可能是因為我們這裡的人隔了幾代, 所以民族情節薄弱.

來了美國才發現原來根本就不是這麼一回事. 因為剛來到美國幾年的中國與台灣人, 很多已經開始在洋腔洋調的互放洋屁. 明明是從說共同語言的地方來的人, 竟然像自己的語言不夠cool似的, 在對話的時候儘量迪溜迪溜的大說英語. 他們的下一代, 可想而知的, 當然也就不認識一個方塊字了. 我看過很滑稽的一個畫面 --- 街上, 中國媽媽在用華語罵自己上幼兒園的兒子, 兒子則以100%的美國口音英語反駁, 到最後媽媽屈服了, 開始用自己的瘪腳英語來繼續罵. 這很表面上看起來很好笑, 可是想深一層的話, 那其實很可悲.

有趣的是, 我們不難發現, 同樣是東亞人的日本人還有韓國人, 民族意識之強, 令人佩服.

我們可以看到這裡出生的韓國青年日本青年, 絕大部分都會講自己的語言, 會寫自己的文字, 即使英文再好再溜, 很多時候(甚至大多時候)都還是會用自己的語言交流對話.

我曾經教過一個學生, 是一對台灣夫妻的孩子, 姓王. 有一天我記出缺席表的時候, 忘了他的姓氏, 就問他幸甚麼來著. 他說:"W'a'ng", 就是把"a"唸成"欸"(ㄟ), 不是"阿"(ㄚ). 我就馬上更正他說中國姓氏裡面沒有"W'a'ng", 只有"WAHng". 我也不管他媽媽在旁邊聽了有甚麼感想, 反正我覺得身為一個華人, 自己的名字姓氏都唸不准, 那還算是甚麼?

還有, 同樣的這個孩子剛來上第一課的時候, 我就問他媽媽說:"他會不會說華語?" 他媽媽竟然很理所當然的說:"不會啊! 只說英語! 你看你說(華語)的時候他有沒有回答你??" 我聽了馬上就心裡在暗罵, 有這樣的父母, 還會出甚麼樣的孩子?

我不禁問自己, 到底為甚麼只有我們華人會摒棄自己的語言文化, 覺得無所謂, 甚至理所當然呢?

我覺得這跟華人根本的民族性有很大的關聯.

說穿了, 華人到海外生活為的是甚麼? 當然是為了找錢生存. 這本來不是錯事, 其他的民族都一樣. 可是我們華人是那種可以為了利益而不擇手段的民族, 所以我們才能夠在世界各地落地生根.

這種民族性可以是好事, 但如果不加控制, 就會變成唯利是圖.

當利字當頭的時候, 中國人本來崇尚的"忠義"兩德, 自然就拋諸腦後了, 誰來理你甚麼民族自尊? 反正這個世界本來就是誰有權有勢就會有人"尊敬", 有人巴結, 那又何需懂甚麼中文?

各位同胞們, 不管你從哪裡來, 為何而來, 政治觀點如何, 都不要忘了自己的根. 在海外立足的時候, 就只有我們的文化和語言能夠辨識出我們的身分, 我們的背景, 沒了根, 沒了民族意識, 我們就幾乎等同於空雞蛋殼, 一捏即碎!

Dizzy and tired...

I didn't really sleep last night. Went out with Harman for a long time until 2.00am. Then we recorded "Sub-Solitude" in my room, it sounded alright, but can be improved much more.

I decided not to sleep because I had to send Harman to the bus station in 7am. So I talked to HP, my housemate for a long time, talking shit about other people, just like how we used to be when we were together.

Then I finally went to sleep at 5.30am, just for an hour is better than nothing. Then by 7am Harman kicked me up to say bye to me and told me that I can go back to sleep because he knows how to get to the bus station. I crashed back immediately and slept till 11.30am.

I got a text message from Wen Han saying that she forgot what time are we supposed to rehearse. Only then I remembered that we should rehearse today!!

So I took a quick shower while I was still half asleep, and rushed out for Q65A, luckily there was one right away.

Subway system in NYC can be a mess during weekends, and unfortunately today was one of those days. Took me so long to get there.

I reached Manhattan School of Music by 2.30pm, and surprise! Wen Han was there walking towards MSM too!

5pm was the rehearsal for POA, till 8pm.

Went to Chinatown with Jing until 10 something.

Tired now... REALLY tired...

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

A bit disappointed with the gig, disappointed with the turn-up.

But I remember me saying in my previous blog, that a big turn-up in the first gig does not guarantee a big turn-up in the next one.

So maybe this is a good sign, my crowd could be bigger next time, who knows?

Always look at the bright side of life.

Gig in 169

We got there, a dude was starting to sing. Our stomachs were moaning for food. So we went to this Chinese-Malaysian restaurant across 169 Bar and had a decent meal. (The waitress was a bit rude though)

We got back after the meal, with our unfinished Yangzhou fried rice, seeing another guy ready to play. We're a little confused because we're supposed to be the 2nd group of the night.

But anyway, we started our long wait. With those cheesy teen-rock songs...

Only two of our audiences were here (HP and Firepower), so we decided to wait longer. Thus, another act.

Finally we had 4 more people here, namely, Nick, Choi, Josh and a friend of his.

We decided that we couldn't wait any longer, because the music was too overwhelming.

So we started to play our Riders on the Lost Track, people didn't really pay attention, they're making noise, talking, laughing and shit.

Then we started to do our crazy intro for Michael, with all that distortion and stuff, people started to focus on us a little.

By the time we played Get It, it was alright, there were some reaction, but not much.

I guess it's simply because we played in the wrong place with the wrong vibe with the wrong crowd.

But it's OK, it's a first time. It's always good to have a first time.

OK, time to crash, 9.30am student tomorrow, teaching till 6.30pm. Crazy life.

I hate Saturdays.

The Evil Twin in New York

Went to pick up Jeremy last night (this morning?) in Canal St.

It's time to rock.

I'm a little excited (nervous?) about the whole thing.

But I hope it will turn out OK.

I can't let my friends that support me so much down!!

"I will survive~~~!!"

RC CD

I mean, don't mean no respect to RC but I never really liked RC's playing so much.

Now that's not really the reason I didn't want the CD.

My only problem was that it's from Sctt. Why the fuck should I want that shit from him??

I mean, fuck it man, if you see yourself as a friend, just hide yourself in your little hut in the West and DON'T MAKE A SOUND, DON'T SAY A WORD, DON'T DO NOTHING, and I will be happy. Whatchu giving that shit to me for? You KNOW I didn't have good impression about the whole thing that happened, what the fuck you tryin' to prove? You think givin' me a gift can make me feel better? It's awkward in the first place!Damn... But I still want to say thank you no matter what, but I know the one who passed to me didn't pass on that message.

And you, yes YOU, the one who passed me that gift, you outta your mind??? Don't you know my temper??? You seriously think I will accept that shit??? And why did you have to tell him that I don't want it??? Just keep it to yourself and SHUT UP ALREADY! Hey, you have a new CD in your collection~~ Hello??? You fucked up your mind or what???

This whole shit is all fucked up. OK OK!! Blame it all on me!! Jeez...

Malaysia Boleh...???

Man, I'm so "proud" of my own country...

9/11 Musical day out

Yes, it's September 11th.

Some people are freaked out, fearing there might be some serious shit happening again.

But I went out anyway. At 12.30pm, I was in Carnegie Hall with Nick Ong singing Mozart's Requiem in the audience.

Then we had lunch in Hunan Park before he went to his accompanying gig in Bronxville.

So I loafed around Lincoln Center area, and finally made up my mind to watch a movie in Lincoln Plaza Cinema. But before that I went into Holy Trinity Church to meditate, cleared my mind a bit. That short moment of silence worked so well for me! My mind was suddenly so clear.

Anyway, the movie --- "The Protector" (aka Tom Yam Goong. Thai movie)--- was really bad. I mean the action was terrific, but the script was almost amateurish!! Can't believe it. They should find a balance...

Then, it was the highlight of the day --- The New York Voices, 'live' in Jazz Standard!

Best part is: IT'S FREE!! It's under something called the "September Concert", where many countries in the world organise lots of free concerts in the different parts of the land.

So me, Nick, Jido, and two other friends of Jido's went in and enjoyed a set of superior jazz vocal performance. Not to mention that both the male members in the group can play some mean instruments too!

After the gig, I went to lower east with Nick to see what's happening in The Stone. Stupid me, they're close on Mondays!! Fuck me!!!

Then we went to West Village and I showed him some jazz clubs there, and we ended up chatting in Starbucks.

It was a cool day!

Another lone Sake night

Hiding myself in my apartment has become my habit.

Night is deep. Sake is ice cold.

I'm sitting in front of the computer, a little buzzed, writing this blog, together with David Tao's breezy voice.

Do I like to be alone so much? Yes? No? Or maybe both?

I suppose my biggest problem is staying far away from the City, nowhere to go.

Maybe I should go to the Queens College campus sometimes, longing at the distanced city view, lights shooting into the endless night sky. Hearing car honks from miles away. Watching planes flying in bound and out.

Sometimes I feel that finding solitude while looking at business and crowdiness is an enjoyment.

Maybe that's what I am.

Like what I said earlier to a friend, maybe I do not deserve any love and care, because I'm simply cold and selfish most of the time. For people who don't know me, maybe I'm a nice guy.

When one really gets to know the real me, that might not be the case.

Who am I?

A complex organic machine who's too into his own world and couldn't care less what others think and feel.

Maybe I should be married to music instead. I'm already having fornication with her every single second, might as well.

Knowing myself is a hard thing, but all I can say is, I'm quite a fucked up person in general.

Selfish.

Unkind.

Fake, even.

Lustful for more and more musical satisfaction.

Breaking people's heart again and again.

I think before others reject me, I should learn to reject others.

Yeah, don't come near me, I'm dangerous.

Short piece new title

After a few days of thinking, at last I found a real title for my short violin-cello duo piece, formally titled "JY". The new title will be "Sub-Solitude".

Since I wrote that in a subway train, and by myself (can't possibly write it down with somebody else besides me anyway), this is a more suitable title.

Yay, one more job done!

Why such a casual groove and feel for such a sad story?

I was listening to a song by David Tao, it's called "Susan said".
I never looked at the lyrics and thus never knew it was about, cuz you have to know, Tao is not so clear in pronunciation.
Anyway, I took a look at the lyrics just now, I was shocked by the crazy story happened in the words. I can't believe how could he put such a casual and happy groove and feel in to this bitter story of a poor woman.

The lyrics:

"Yeah 蘇三說 Susan 在那命運月台前面 再上車 春天開始落葉 轉接間 話斷了線 離台北 南京是多麼遠 Oh 那諾言 還會不會兌現 Yeah 不在乎愛情裡傷痛在所難免 一個人卻一個世界 Oh 你是否也像我 動搖過幾遍 愛之是個錯覺 Oh Yeah 蘇三說 思念 常常想念不常見面 她懷疑Sam是虛擬的臉 但愛情 還在上演 那是誰 在放古老唱片 那片段 像對未來留言 不在乎愛情裡傷痛在所難免 一個人卻一個世界 Oh 你是否也像我 動搖過幾遍 愛會不會實現 Oh "蘇三離開了洪桐縣 將身來在大街前 未曾開口心慘澹 過往的君子聽我言" 蘇三離了洪桐縣 掛了個牌子在那大街前 被那凶惡群眾包圍 稍微 等一下 過往的君子請你聽我言 哪一位去我南京轉 與我那三郎把信轉 就說蘇三把命斷 來生變一隻狗一隻馬 我當報還 不在乎愛情裡傷痛在所難免 一個人卻一個世界 Oh 我懷疑你像我 動搖過幾遍 是否愛本來善變 Oh..."

Looks like the story is about Susan from Nanjing who was living in Taipei, because she thought she moved in with a man who loves her, Sam. And apparently Sam wasn't as good as he looks, maybe she's his mistress (very common story). He didn't really give a shit to her after she got to Taipei, his face was almost like a computer generated image in her memories. She decided to end her life, and asked somebody to tell her husband/lover back in Nanjing that she will payback what she owed to him in the next life, to do so, she is willing to turn into a horse or a dog, she doesn't mind.

Sad story, but Tao used some really bouncy groove and major key and happy mood.

Isn't that ironic? For a great musician like Tao, I'm sure he did that purposely. It such a big contrast that when you find out what's in the lyrics, you would start to tear!

David Tao, man, he's something...